View Full Version : Frustration...
05-22-2003, 11:56 AM
Many of you know me, and you know where I work. I work at an urban community center, catering mostly to lower-class, single parent families. The majority of them are black or hispanic. We have one white girl out of 70 kids (I feel bad for her sometimes).
So I was helping some of the second graders find websites on Beyblades when I saw some of the 6th graders walk past the door to the computer room. They were beginning to act... "street." You could see the change, and although after 7th grade they pass out of the community center, I hear stories about what they turn into. I've been to a funeral or two...
Looking back at the second graders, I came to a jolting realization that these children, these sweet innocent kids who wanted nothing more than to play, have fun, get good grades in school, and feel the love of the adults in their lives... might someday grow up to be thugs, prositutes, crack whores, dealers, burglars, thieves, and in general lead horrible lives.
Sure, there were some who would escape the system, and I can already tell which ones would. And you know what? I can count them on both hands. It mostly comes down to family support, in which most of these families there is none. Where you see a parent who trys and cares about their child, you see a child who is succeeding, it almost never fails!
It doesnt seem fair, you know?
05-22-2003, 12:04 PM
Nope, it doesen't.
I know someone who is very close to me that was abused beyond belief. She hates what happened, and she doesn't believe she will ever get over it. Life throws us crap from time to time, some more then others. I believe those who over come problems become stronger and smarter.
These kids you speak of, the ones that grow into the gang sort, that is the life that their parents choose for them, basically. Totally disregarding a child is about the same as killing them. When I am a parent, I am going to give my child a good education, a place to live, and a place to come back to in times of trouble. I know it isn't fair that many kids out there will not have that, but I cannot change that fact, nor can you. I am just doing what I can.
My thoughts and prayers goes out for those kids in which you so generously donate your time to help.
05-22-2003, 12:12 PM
You are making a difference in those second grader's lives regardless. It is very unfortunate that a lot of children do not have parents who are supportive and who will guide their children through the paths of right and wrong. It is upsetting to me when parents do not take their roles and responsibilties as parents seriously and it angers me even more when I see these same parents blaming their children or the school system for their children's poor outcome and behaviour.
Take for instance when you are out shopping. The toy aisle is NOT a baby center - where you can drop your kids off in (from the age they can walk - 6 years of age) and go shopping for hours at a time. These same parents will SCREAM at their children when they return to the Toy Aisle only to find that their children are gone. It angers me because these children could be abducted or get into mischeif. These are the SAME parents that when you tell a child not to do something because they may get hurt, their parent runs up and says something like "HOW DARE YOU TELL MY CHILD WHAT TO DO!". Well sometimes I feel like saying..."Well where the hell were you, maybe you should watching him so I wouldn't have to!" I worked in retail and kids would ALWAYS stand in the carts....eventually kids would fall out...their parents oblivous to the fact that yes...if your child hangs out the side of the cart to reach 2 feet out to grab a GI joe that your not going to buy, he will fall out. Then the parent gets irate and screams Lawsuit and how dare we make our carts this way. Ridiculous!
Originally posted by STTCT
No you aren't. You are making a perfectly valid, and perfectly true point.
05-22-2003, 12:27 PM
I'm beginning to believe that humans arent at fault for thier actions at an early age(well,much anyway) because of what society (Poor parents, peers, TV...) pressures on them.
05-22-2003, 12:37 PM
STTCT...as Obi said, you make a totally valid point, and I agree with you. Unfortunately, not everyone is willing (or perhaps even ready) to assume those kinds of responsibilities. I live in an area where there is also a high incidence of single-parent families...largely because teenaged girls (still in school some of them) get pregnant. There was also, at one time, a situation where some younger women actually actively sought to get pregnant, because it ensured them a flat to live in and social benefits. I still can't really fathom that kind of mentality, but it exists, and we all have to deal with it.
ShockV1.89...props on doing a great job, mate. :thumbsup: You can only try your best, and if you can bring some common sense into some people's lives, then that's a good thing. It's sad to know that some of those you are trying to help will eventually turn out to be criminals, and the like, but you mustn't feel too bad about it. You can't live other people's lives for them, and we all have to deal with the adversity of modern life in our own ways. Some people turn bad...others try to make something of themselves and will eventually help others. If out of all the people you try to help, just one manages to excel and contribute to their community in a useful way, then it must be worthwhile, IMHO.
I work for a charity myself (and have worked in other places where you try to help people), and I can certainly relate to what you're saying. Some people simply don't want to be helped. That's their choice, at the end of the day.
I do get angry when I hear about parents not looking after their children properly. We've had a few instances in the UK where parents have gone off on holiday, and left their kids home alone to fend for themselves, sometimes for a couple of weeks. And I'm talking 10 year old kids, and younger here... I have to say that if people didn't want to be tied down by the responsibility of parenthood, they should not have had kids in the first place. And sometimes it's certainly better when they put those kids up for adoption, so they can be raised within the context of a loving family who will really care for them.
All you can do is offer to help, and hope that some good comes of it.
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