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View Full Version : Bar Fight!!!


Death_Jedi
06-08-2003, 10:36 AM
Well this is kinda an RPG game
Rules:
You have fights use any weapons you want and when u kill someone you say
Example: *Death Hits Dave over the head with a chair and puts him out for 3 posts*
You can put them out for any amount of posts but not over three

You with me?
--------------------------------------------------------------

Death Grabs a chair leg and waits for someone to enter the bar

pHILBRUSH
06-08-2003, 11:40 AM
*pHILBRUSH stabs death in the toe with a smashed grog bottle,
puts him out for 2 posts*


P.S. can't it be up to ten posts?!
-pHILBRUSH

Feral
06-08-2003, 12:08 PM
*Feral kicks Philbrush in the nads, putting him out for one post*

Das Mole
06-08-2003, 12:29 PM
*mole plucks feral's feathers leaving him out for one post*

btw-i was going to say plucks feathres and then breaks wings, but i thought that'd be way too cruel. plus, the appropriate time amount for that would be 5, but since we can't go over three... :(

pHILBRUSH
06-08-2003, 12:36 PM
*punches Mole in d**k killing him for the next two posts*
Muhahaaa!!!!

btw-Death, if you're awake yet, could it be up to 10 posts instead?!


-pHILBRUSH

Natty
06-08-2003, 01:04 PM
10 posts would be more fun

*gives pHILBRUSH a wedgie and puts him out for 3posts*

Das Mole
06-08-2003, 01:10 PM
i don't want to do anything to natty, she's so nice! well, okay.

*gives natty lots of drinks, puts a spider in her house, she goes through the whole incident again and it humiliates her, putting her out for two posts*

Huz
06-08-2003, 06:31 PM
Huz drops a hydrogen bomb in The Harbour, putting everybody out indefinitely for three posts.

pHILBRUSH
06-08-2003, 06:37 PM
now no one can play. CHEATER! *cuts off Huz's nose, putting him out for 3 posts*


-pHILBRUSH

Joshi
06-08-2003, 06:46 PM
Uses quazar blasters to obliterate pHILBRUSH putting him out forever. What, no quazar blasters in the bar? Okay, broken bottle in the neck, two posts.

Das Mole
06-08-2003, 07:07 PM
well, don't want to do anything to neil either, but whatever.

*throws dart at neil, hits him in the heel, disabling his ability to walk and putting him out for two posts*

Al-back from the BigWhoop
06-08-2003, 09:59 PM
*gets das to follow AL up a stairs. Presses the button making the stairs flat and thus impeding him to post before 2*
(yeah, i think up to 5 or 10 would be more fun)

Al-back from the BigWhoop
06-08-2003, 09:59 PM
*gets das to follow AL up a stairs. Presses the button making the stairs flat and thus impeding him to post after 2*
(yeah, i think up to 5 or 10 would be more fun)

Alia
06-09-2003, 03:57 AM
*shoots Al a swift, venomous glance. He falls to the floor in terror and cannot look up for two posts.* Grrr.

(Feel lucky, kid. Could have been MUCH worse. --- If we allow ten posts, then we'll all be out in a bit, effectively killing the game.)

Das Mole
06-09-2003, 12:08 PM
*throws pictures of jewel and heidi klum at captain andy, seriously hurting her, and leaving her out for two posts. actually, make that three because they're so much more beautiful than her, which demeaned her badly*

pHILBRUSH
06-09-2003, 03:18 PM
*Gives Das picture of naked Jewel Kilcher, putting him out for 1 post*


-pHILBRUSH

Joshi
06-09-2003, 03:55 PM
Gives pHILBRUSH a video of Yoda in a low key porn movie putting him out for ten posts (or three, whichever)

Das Mole
06-09-2003, 05:15 PM
*hands neil a copy of the not-released-yet-and-probably-will-never-be ultra super mega deluxe hyper-cool gigantic edition of paint shop pro where you actually get to be a painter in a 3d interactive world of fun, leaving him out for 3 turns*

Al-back from the BigWhoop
06-09-2003, 08:22 PM
*doesnt post, preventing pHILBRUSH to post. :D get it?*

Joshi
06-09-2003, 08:31 PM
Das, yours didn't work because i absolutely deteste PSP beyond all reason and therefore wouldn't care if a new version came out.

Das Mole
06-09-2003, 08:44 PM
:c3po:, i mean, :o

well, whudevu (that's how i'm gonna spell whatever from now on).

then:

*hands neil a copy of the not-released-yet-and-probably-will-never-be ultra super mega deluxe hyper-cool gigantic edition of (insert neil's favorite painting program thingy here) where you actually get to be a painter in a 3d interactive world of fun, leaving him out for 3 turns*

Alia
06-09-2003, 10:18 PM
*makes Das watch his own Madly Rotating Avatar for 30 seconds, effectively shutting down any semblance of brain function for three posts*

Search your feelings, Das, you know I am the most beautiful woman you can ever imagine. Like, duh.

Death_Jedi
06-14-2003, 10:16 AM
grabs a deers head off the wall and charges at captain andy and pinns him to the wall with its antlers for 3 posts

(and philbrush at the start u said 10 posts...thats a bit much.....5!
you can make the ...attack....on the person as harsh as you want and it could be out for even 1 post it dosnt matter but now 5 is the limit.....no 6)

madmonkeygal!
06-14-2003, 04:11 PM
Hmm, I'm not normally a violent person but...

*takes out lightsabre and starts attacking death jedi wildly, putting him out for 3 posts*

James Isaac
06-14-2003, 05:22 PM
*takes out voodoo doll of madmonkeygal, and starts poking it with a pin, putting madmonkey out for 2 posts*

brief
06-15-2003, 09:17 AM
*Takes out Happy Fun Ball™ from its security package and tosses it towards james_isaac, only to have it bounced back from an invisible wall, taking himself out for three posts*

Das Mole
06-15-2003, 03:09 PM
wait...uh...then...i'm confused.

*becomes extremely confused and his very wide bubble of confusion spreads out for a 2 post radius, engulfing james and seriously confusing him, knocking him out for three posts*

madmonkeygal!
06-15-2003, 04:17 PM
*Pours molten nacho cheese onto Das, putting him out for 2 posts* (I've been waiting to do that all day... waiting to get back into the game and tip nacho cheese over someone's head, I mean, anyones!)

Alia
06-15-2003, 07:15 PM
I love the words "madly rotating."

Take that, encroaching newbie!!

*places madmonkeygal on Madly Rotating Nacho Cheese Melter without lid and watches her (and pasteurized process cheese food) fly everywhere! A wall hits her and knocks her out for three posts.*

That was fun.

Das Mole
06-16-2003, 02:56 PM
*gives captain andy a neon sign that says madly rotating all over it, leaving her there distracted and stranding her for 3 posts*

SamNMax
06-16-2003, 10:17 PM
*Sam burns Mole with a lit candle, leaving him out for 2 posts.

brief
06-17-2003, 08:44 PM
*Runs through the thread tossing fruit around, knocking out SamNMax for one post*

madmonkeygal!
06-18-2003, 09:29 AM
*madmonkeygal, who is in an exceptionally pissed off mood today, cos nobody loves her, punches brief in the face, using all her rage and frustration against him and knocking him out for 2 posts.*

Alia
06-18-2003, 03:33 PM
*experiences a small conscience-attack concerning the nacho cheese incident*

I know! Let's go get ice cream!

*madmonkeygal and Andy leave in a flying car to get ice cream, both are gone for two posts*

Oh yeah, it's a bar fight.

*kicks brief in the head on the way out*

Nah, I'll let you live. See ya later!

RoyTordesLegend
06-19-2003, 10:54 AM
Roy Tordes - The Legend, picks up a chair and starts waving it about menacingly....just as he's about to start 'kicking some ass' (poor donkey!), he slips on a stray copy of Monkey Island, and cracks his head on the spitoon as he falls....
.....zzzzz

Das Mole
06-19-2003, 02:41 PM
that made no sense...

*becomes extremely confused, adding to the remainder of confusion from last time, knocking out the next poster for 10 posts* (the highest yet!!! yeah!!!)

RoyTordesLegend
06-19-2003, 03:24 PM
Roy...gets up - congratulates Das Mole for being a man of taste (preferring MI1 + MI2 to MI3 and MI4), catches him with his guard down, and drop kicks him into a table (oooh!);)

Das Mole
06-19-2003, 03:54 PM
you never specified an amount of time that i was out...;)

*drops roy out of a 157.893206 story window, leaving him out for 3 posts*

Alia
06-19-2003, 04:11 PM
*comes back with chocolate ice cream all over her face*

Mmm, that was delicious. Here Das, I got some for you.

*gives Das poisoned ice cream cone. He falls to the floor, writhing in agony and remains so for two posts*

SamNMax
06-19-2003, 10:30 PM
*Sam taps Andy on the shoulder, then when she looks to see who it is, Sam acts like it wasn't him, doing this for two posts*

Das Mole
06-20-2003, 12:28 AM
*throws folded-up very sharp post-it notes at samnmax, giving him lots of owies and leaving him out for two posts*

RoyTordesLegend
06-20-2003, 12:42 AM
Roy Tordes returns Neo-Matrix like from his fall, gets out a 10 disk copy of MI2 for the Amiga and throws the disks almost ninja like at Das Mole, making the poor fellows head look like a slightly abstract version of Pinhead from Hellraiser, before turning (in slow motion) and walking towards the door, getting the girl, saving the day and leaving Das Mole out for 3 1/2 posts!

Alia
06-20-2003, 01:11 AM
*reminds Roy that girls here aren't acquired quite that easily by shooting him with a potato gun and leaving him potatoed for three posts and demanding he work on his counting and logical thinking.*

Das can't come in halfway through someone's post!

SamNMax
06-20-2003, 12:55 PM
*Sam picks a sissy fight with Captain Andy... and loses, knocking Sam out for three posts*

Das Mole
06-20-2003, 01:28 PM
wait, uh, arrrgghhhh!!!

*becomes very confused and goes into a coma for three posts*

Alia
06-20-2003, 03:15 PM
See that hand in my avatar? It's going to-

*notices that everyone is out already*

Well, dang, I came in to give Das a wedgie, and here he is lying on the floor!

*revives Das very carefully*

Das Mole: (confusedly) What......what the.....I......where....oh....

Ok, from the beginning. See that hand in my avatar? It's going to give you the wedgie of your life!

*hand picks up back of Das' pants and swings him around, breaking furniture and generally being destructive for two posts*

Bwahahahaha!

RoyTordesLegend
06-21-2003, 01:43 PM
Roy picks the potato out of his ears and picks up his full length leather coat and shades from the coatstand. After dressing himself appropriatley (trying hard to get that Matrix style cool - but probably looking a lot more like Ben Stiller in Zoolander) Roy turns himself into a human cyclone, knocking out Captain Andy with the first blow and working his way around the room until everyone else has been obliterated.

In a show of total disrespect, Roy dances around Das Moles comatised body, before tripping on the coat and head butting the poor infortunate guy....oops:o

Alia
06-21-2003, 11:24 PM
Oh, but Roy didn't say how many posts I was out for! A loophole!

*gets back up and dusts self off*

Ok, dude. This might hurt.

*kicks Roy in the mouth and then knocks him over with a blow to the stomach, he lies in fetal position, nearly dead, for two posts*

That'll show you, you bar-obliterating bully!

Das Mole
06-22-2003, 04:49 PM
see the hand in andy's av?

*takes hand, breaks it off the arm, then proceeds to break the fingers off and throw them into a mulcher, ruining her av, and forcing her to look for another one for three posts*

SamNMax
06-22-2003, 05:53 PM
*Ummm... Umm, Oh, screw it. Sam leaves the bar for three posts*

madmonkeygal!
06-22-2003, 07:55 PM
Hey, you can't just walk out from a bar fight!
*madmonkeygal sprints after SamNMax, grabs him by the collar and drags him back to the bar, where she proceeds to repeatedly slap him accross the face for trying to escape and eventually knocks him out for two posts*

Das Mole
06-23-2003, 12:00 AM
*rips apart voodoo doll in madmonkeygal's avatar, making her sew it back together and occupying her for two posts*

what can i say, i like dismembering avatars. mainly because i'm too unoriginal to think of anything eltse to do.

Alia
06-23-2003, 02:23 AM
Now I have you, my pretty!

*new cyborg hand in Andy's av grabs Das by the collar and pins him to the wall that would have hit him eventually anyway*

All right, now what? Hmm...something TRULY diabolical...

*sets Das up with her sister*

BWAHAHAHAHA! You cannot escape! Now exist in misery for the next three posts!

RoyTordesLegend
06-23-2003, 07:33 AM
Roy, realising that behind all that Manly talk, Captain Andy is all woman, proceeds to chat her up (badly), before losing his cool, realising he doesn't have a chance, and taking out his frustrations on everyone else in the room with a soup ladel and some golf balls, putting them all out for three posts each!!!!

Alia
06-23-2003, 10:59 PM
Why, I thought I hurt people in a very feminine manner...I guess I need some practice, then. All right, here's to you and your crummy dealings with the opposite sex! Ok, honey, give it to him.

*Andy's handsome, strong, courageous boyfriend knocks Roy out in ONE FELL BLOW! Yes, that's all it took!*

Anyway, I'm not putting you out for any posts because I feel generous and *looks around at comatose people* because you knocked everyone out in the last post. So I guess you can spar with my boyfriend 'til they come around.

RoyTordesLegend
06-24-2003, 07:37 AM
Roy gets up from feigning injury after being hit on the back of the head :mad: , looks around for Andy's strong, courageous boyfriend, but can only find a scrawny kid with baggy trousers. Roy ticks him off for his unfriendly behaviour before making him a packed lunch and running him along to school.

Roy compromises his principles by putting Andy into the 'Tordes Death Lock' :thumbs1: (what?!?) and puts her to sleep for three posts. Since her boyfriend is now in woodwork class with Mr Outred, and everyone else was knocked two posts ago, that means Roy is the winner.

Roy does his victory dance :monkey4: for the crowd

Alia
06-24-2003, 01:55 PM
*Andy, who was feigning sleep, wakes up and watches Roy's victory dance, laughing uproariously*

Ha ha ha ha! See? I TOLD you he was a monkey!

RoyTordesLegend
06-24-2003, 04:35 PM
Roy accepts defeat graciously :(

SamNMax
06-24-2003, 07:55 PM
*Sam jams a knife in everybody's temple.*

There, that should keep them busy.

Alia
06-24-2003, 11:12 PM
Nahh, it was already over and I was taking Roy Tordes out for pizza to celebrate. Go start yourself a new fight somewhere.

RoyTordesLegend
06-25-2003, 07:53 AM
....better be a damn good pizza!!! None of that burnt crust rubbish!!! ;)

Alia
06-25-2003, 05:53 PM
It's EXCELLENT pizza. Only the best, and not poisoned either.

SamNMax
06-25-2003, 06:07 PM
Originally posted by Captain Andy
Nahh, it was already over and I was taking Roy Tordes out for pizza to celebrate. Go start yourself a new fight somewhere.


:ball: I hate you all! *Socks everybody right in the colon for the hell of it*

RoyTordesLegend
06-25-2003, 07:22 PM
Its NOT poisoned.....so if it's NOT poisoned, why did you feel the need to emphasise the lack of poison? I think you're bluffing and it really IS poisoned!!!

Alia
06-25-2003, 07:49 PM
I was emphasizing the lack of poison in the pizza because of its distinct presence in the ice cream cone I gave Das a while back. That's all. I'm not a criminal, you know......*here Roy looks disbelieving* Oh, fine. Hmph.

*takes boyfriend out for pizza instead*

RoyTordesLegend
06-25-2003, 09:45 PM
betcha didn't get desert though!!! ;)

Das Mole
06-25-2003, 11:05 PM
i got dessert. from oberweis. a few nights ago. i'm lost.

Alia
06-25-2003, 11:20 PM
Oh, I assure you, Roy, I got whatever I wanted. Don't you worry about that.

RoyTordesLegend
06-26-2003, 07:50 AM
Ha ha, excellent :)

RoyTordesLegend
06-26-2003, 07:54 AM
By the way Andy, I read somewhere about something called an 'ample chested lurve vixen'. You're not one of these are you:confused:

Alia
06-26-2003, 11:11 AM
Not that I know of. *gasps* Are you?!

RoyTordesLegend
06-26-2003, 12:06 PM
Definately!

Alia
06-26-2003, 12:09 PM
Dude. I'm just your run-of-the-mill pirate wench.

Ray Jones
06-26-2003, 12:11 PM
*kicks in the door, waves the .44*

..

ok everybody. calm down. anyone thats trying to leave.. i pump one in your a#s.

*goes araound with some sort of bag.. punishes the people around to smile at him and give all their grog into the bag..*

Ray Jones
06-26-2003, 01:04 PM
*looked around for a while, after anybody is busy with getting new grog, he grabs some chic.. er chips and sat down .. *

Hey barman.. will he turn on tv ..?

*cleans his silver .44 while he's watching sledge hammer to get new ideas for brutal handshake methods.. *

*drinks som grog out of the bag*

Ray Jones
06-27-2003, 07:17 AM
*stands up and goes because noone wants to give him what he needs.. some real cruel hits against his nose combined with some razorsharp insults, followed by some hard and definite sticked two fingers in his eyes.*

*struggles about his own feets, smashed against the ground and keeps sticked to the ground with his foreteeth*

mmmfffpphendte wwwrrtedsen ..

RoyTordesLegend
06-27-2003, 07:48 AM
Roy reckons Ray is asking for trouble so uses his extra long tweezers to remove Das Moles 'Khaki Shorts' (dont ask!), before rolling them up and repeatedly slapping ray about the head with them until he passes out unconcious.

Ray appears to be out for 2 posts!!

pHILBRUSH
06-29-2003, 08:54 PM
*pHILBRUSH grabs cloth, stuffs it in a bottle of whiskey, then tries to light it, but the gas from the lighter ran out so just whacks RoyTordesLegend on the head with a chair, putting him out for 2 posts(tho a molotov cocktail wudda been cool)*


-pHILBRUSH