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Darth Groovy
06-27-2003, 04:35 AM
I wanted to get them all in one thread. I dearly love movies, but there are always patterns.

Ever notice in a horror movie, the protagonist always looses the keys, or the car will not start when being persued by the main spook?

Ever notice that in horror, or event movies, the African American is always the comic relief?

Ever notice in action movies, the cops always arive when the action is over?

Another horror movie classic, especially in slasher flicks, the first couple that have sex, are the first to get hacked in two?

Post all movie cliches you have see here, let us have fun with this! :)

Boba Rhett
06-27-2003, 04:42 AM
When the hero is knocked out, he won't get a concussion or brain damage.

The hero will always get shot in the shoulder, yet will be able to use his arm.

If you lose a hand, it causes the stump of your arm to grow by six inches. :D

Medieval peasants always have filthy faces, tangled hair, ragged clothing - and perfect, gleaming white teeth.

In a swordfight, you can always parry behind your back, and you must always find a set of stairs to fight on so that the loser can roll down them and die at the bottom.

Minorities such as Native Americans or Asians will always have some sort of mystical knowledge or inate fighting skill. For example, the Native American always knows the course of events to come from some sign in nature, and Asians are all born with Martial Arts skills they can use to battle the bad guys.

After fleeing a monster, you will want to call for help from a public phone within ten feet of where you last saw the monster.

People speaking on the phone never introduce themselves, and never ever say "good-bye" at the end of a conversation.

Darth Eggplant
06-27-2003, 04:58 AM
there are billions of people
and just as many cell phones
and yet even in modern films like the matrix
telephone numbers always start 555

Darth Groovy
06-27-2003, 06:12 AM
In horror movies, you always loose your keys, but even once you find them, the car will never start....

HertogJan
06-27-2003, 06:39 AM
Originally posted by Darth Eggplant
there are billions of people
and just as many cell phones
and yet even in modern films like the matrix
telephone numbers always start 555

Haha yes, that allways annoys me :mad: :mad:

Oh and when the bad guy gets knocked dowen for the first time, he's never dead, and will come back for the hero when he is celebrating with his girl...

BawBag™
06-27-2003, 10:05 AM
The worst is when el hero is getting the snot pounded out of him by the main baddie and then at the end has a miraculous comeback and saves the day.
Or the weepie, when the beautiful girl thinks the love of her life has left town/city/country for ever but is really standing behind her.....
*She turns round, they see each other, hug, kiss - BawBag turns T.V. off*

C Shutt
06-27-2003, 10:15 AM
Originally posted by Boba Rhett
Minorities such as Native Americans or Asians will always have some sort of mystical knowledge or inate fighting skill.

Black people have magic powers too, if it's a Steven King movie.

Darth Groovy
06-27-2003, 08:28 PM
Up until Spiderman, all heros must wear some sort of black leather costume.

All bad guys much engage in some rediculous monologe, allowing ample time for the good guy to think of a strategy to defeat him.

Putting a bullet to the head of a hero is always too good for any movie villian.

The villian always dies in the middle of a gloat.

boinga1
06-27-2003, 09:17 PM
The bad guys always capture the hero, thwn gloat and let him win (basically ditto the above).

Oh, and in James Bind films, the hero always meets hot girls. :D

Darth Groovy
06-27-2003, 09:28 PM
The hero must never get engaged or married early in the film, or the girl get's killed, and the hero becomes a raging lunatic vigilante.

obi
06-27-2003, 09:53 PM
In horror movies, the bad guy always is a mirror image of the hero. Always.

BCanr2d2
06-28-2003, 11:11 AM
In any movie, where the goodies are trying to escape the baddies, the baddies will always ask "Did you wreck/attach/etc to their form of transport?" Always answered with a yes, and within seconds of capture will escape by activating whatever was wrecked...

Clemme w/Stick
06-28-2003, 11:18 AM
The SW movies.
Let me explain what I mean.
Ep1: A Lightsaber fight, something big gets blown up.
Ep2: A Lightsaber fight, Anakin looses arm, Ani and Padme gets married and look out on the Naboo nature.
Ep3: Prolly something along the lines of Ep6.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ep4: Lightsaber fight, something big gets blown up.
Ep5: Lightsaber fight, Luke looses hand, Luke and Leia looks out on the Rendevouz point.
Ep6: Lightsaber fight, something big gets blown up.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

See what I mean, the endings of all the SW movies resemble each other in some way. I think thats one of the things that make the prequals bad. Anyways any1 else noticed this?

@Groovy, yea, I know what ya mean. Thats why I dont watch horror flicks ;). They are simply just too predictable.

-Clemme

|GG|Carl
06-28-2003, 11:22 AM
All bond films are like this:
Bond goes to a place,searching for the bad guy, some other bad guys starts hunting him. bond finds a russian girl.
the girl doesn't like bond.
Bond finds the bad guy.
The bad guy tells bond he's going to blow up the world(or whatever). He tells bond exactly how he's going to do that(often with a satellite or something). then bond kills the bad guy and saves the world right before it's going to blow up.
Then the girl starts to like bond. She says:
- Oh bond! and kisses him.

Thrackan Solo
06-28-2003, 11:25 AM
Especially the Jason films, they always burn him but he always comes back in some strange stupid way. Its okk the first 2 times but it gets unbelievable after 10 TIMES!!!!

|GG|Carl
06-28-2003, 11:30 AM
Also, in the starwars movies, the guys with green lightsabers always win the lightsaber fights.

Ep1:Obi takes qui-gons green lightsaber and kills Maul
Ep2:Yoda scares away dooku with his green lightsaber
Ep3:?
Ep4:no green lightsabers in this movie, but there are no big lightsaber fights either
Ep5:no green lightsabers here either
Ep6:Luke has a green lightsaber, and he defeats palpatine and vader (with some help from vader)

jokemaster
06-28-2003, 01:33 PM
Also, in slasher flicks, the bad guy is always still alive after you beat him the first time, you have to beat him again so he's dead, and then you die in the sequel to make room for the next hero.
The slasher gets revived in some stupid way (see Jason and Freddy flicks)

Nitro
06-29-2003, 01:40 AM
In the the final fight scene, the good guy will dominate, then get his ass handed to him, and when all seems lost, rally and demolish the competition.

legameboy
06-29-2003, 01:51 AM
No matter what the hero will always win.

Nitro
06-29-2003, 02:20 AM
*cough*ArlingtonRoad*cough*

[RAA]-=Chi3f=-
06-29-2003, 05:20 AM
1) A cigarette case/lighter in the shirt pocket will always block the bullet.

2) Warp or hyper-drive will always fail at critical moments.

3) Any apartment in Paris will have a view of the Eiffel Tower.

4) In any type of sport movie, a player on the field can look up into a crowd of 1 billion and immediately spot their loved one.

5) Alien spacecraft the size of Australia can be taken out with one well-placed sidewinder missile (ID4)

6) Movie character never make typing mistakes.

7) All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.

8) When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.

9) When you throw a knife, the blade will always be the first thing to hit the target

10) The bad guy usually kills his henchman for failing, yet don't seem to run out of loyal henchmen.

11) A good person will always die in the presence of friends.

12) Any machine gun nest can be approached from behind without dificulty, but not until half the unit has been wiped out.
13) Dogs always know who's bad, and bark at them. Good boy!

14) Asteroids travel through space making a noise like a powerful but subdued engine.

15) Laser beams are easily visible in space.

16) Radiation causes mutation not to your future children, but to you, there and then. Mutation is never immediately fatal, but first either makes you into a formless blob, or a functional creature with animal-like features. X-men in a nutshell

17) Interbreeding is genetically possible with any person or creature from anywhere in the universe.

18) The police will never question the hero, even if he kills lots of bad guys

19) Pastries are always in plain pink boxes.

20) Stripping to the waist makes the hero invulnerable.

•-BLaCKouT-•
06-29-2003, 12:17 PM
I can't remember where I read this now, or the exact percentage but you get the idea:
Something like 85% of all movies feature the line "Let's get out of here" or a direct derivative.
Yet how many times do you hear it in real life?

B.

defalc
06-29-2003, 12:22 PM
1) Both the hero and the villan have unlimited bullets in their guns.

2) If you're hacking into a computer, you can see exactly where the data is heading via a miraculous image of the world satellite network.

3) The bad guys NEVER hack the good guys.

4) The grand master plan is something complex, like "Realign the mystical rubix cube at the precise moment of the solar equinox whilst simultaneously hotwiring a car and whistling the Happy Days tune'; and it is NEVER a simple case of 'hit the button'.

5) Bad guys feel that whilst they wish the hero to die from means other than a bullet to the head, they can't be bothered to stick around and watch, allowing the hero to escape.

6) Getting hit in the face and tasting blood/losing teeth is something to be laughed at.

7) The cool car is always blown up. And anyone watching thinks the main character/s were in there when they in fact bailed out at the last minute in a slow-mo roll.

8) When a character sacrifices him/herself, the death is in slow-motion, switching between about 3 camera angles and ending with a close-up of their face.

9) If someone runs out onto the street in anger/shock, they'll get hit by a car. It will be white. They will roll halfway up the windshield and the car will break, sending them to the ground. They will have only a small trickle of blood down their forehead.

10) Continuing from above: if the person who got hit by the car makes it to the hospital, they'll die exactly after revealling something pivital (let it be the secret plans or that they were secretly in love with blah).

Lunatic Jedi
06-29-2003, 12:46 PM
1. Any heating duct in any building anywhere is invariably wide enough for human transport.

2. Despite the above "fact," no villain will ever suspect that the hero might be hiding in the ducts.

3. Lipstick will never come off for any reason, ever, even if the wearer has been submerged in salt water.

4. In a fight against multiple enemies, each foe goes down after only one blow, while the hero will never be affected by his injuries.

5. Even though they're armed and their boss isn't, no henchman will ever kill his/her cruel leader.

6. If there is ever a legend of a haunting in the area in which the hero is, it will always occur on the very day when the hero happens to be there (e.g. Every year on June 12, the ghost of the insane postman haunts these woods! I wouldn't go out on a night like this!)

Nitro
06-29-2003, 01:14 PM
Originally posted by -=Chi3f=-
9) When you throw a knife, the blade will always be the first thing to hit the target

That's actually a skill. Anyone can do it with a lot of practice, and a properly weighted knife.

ET Warrior
06-30-2003, 05:03 AM
Originally posted by Nitro
That's actually a skill. Anyone can do it with a lot of practice, and a properly weighted knife.

I think it'd be great to see a movie where the bad guy throws a knife at the hero and the handle part hits him in the chest.........sounds like something you'd see in Austin Powers......

gorganfloss
06-30-2003, 05:12 AM
Heres the biggest movie cliche of all:
In EVERY movie, ever...there are people who made it.:eek:

Amazing huh?

Icemaniax
06-30-2003, 06:34 AM
Originally posted by Darth Eggplant
there are billions of people
and just as many cell phones
and yet even in modern films like the matrix
telephone numbers always start 555


they all start with 555 because 555 does not exist, they dont want people calling the "stars" numbers now do they? try calling ANY number with 555. you will get nothing. that is why all numbers in all movies start with 555

HertogJan
06-30-2003, 06:49 AM
Originally posted by iceman87
they all start with 555 because 555 does not exist, they dont want people calling the "stars" numbers now do they? try calling ANY number with 555. you will get nothing. that is why all numbers in all movies start with 555

Ah... well that just sucks :mad: I'd rather have them saying a phone number minus 1 digit...

Darth Groovy
06-30-2003, 08:01 AM
In horror movies, the leader of the crew/team/squad/random gang of idiots, always thinks it is a good idea for the team to split up and look for the monster. This allows for a good 50 minutes of film to be spent looking around doors, and checking empty rooms until they are picked off one by one.

Father Torque
06-30-2003, 08:06 AM
Plain and simple

The Black Guy Always Dies First.

Its true, in like every movie ive seen wheter it be action or horror, the black guy always dies first

HertogJan
06-30-2003, 09:31 AM
Originally posted by Father Torque
Plain and simple

The Black Guy Always Dies First.

Its true, in like every movie ive seen wheter it be action or horror, the black guy always dies first

That's something all the black people in bad movies with some 'humor' in it say, but that isn't true. It seems though, that a lot of directors want to put black characters in their movie who whine 24/7 about 'OMG the black guy allways dies first, bro' :rolleyes:

I think it would be better for equality's (sp?) sake, that directors wouldn't picture all black characters as stereotypes (is this an English word), but instead as normal ppl. Especially in action comedies, the black guy is allways afraid to die, has **** for brains and whines against the main (white) character :rolleyes:

Darth Groovy
06-30-2003, 09:50 AM
Originally posted by Darth Groovy

Ever notice that in horror, or event movies, the African American is always the comic relief?



So, so true...:rolleyes:

[RAA]-=Chi3f=-
06-30-2003, 10:18 AM
Originally posted by Nitro
That's actually a skill. Anyone can do it with a lot of practice, and a properly weighted knife.


Yes, I would know. My point, however, is that Holllywood manages to make absolutely rediculous exagerations of this skill.

For example in the Punisher at the very end of the movie an evil woman has the mob boss' son at gun point and everything's at a stand still. Suddenly the Punisher comes ripping throught the Japanese paper walls (literally leaping horizontally), totally off balance, and throws a massive knife at her that not only hit it's mark perfectly, but also goes six inches into her skull! LMAO! Do you realize how much force it would take to do that. I doubt that even the strongest and most accuraute knife thrower could do that. :p :D


OH I have one more to add


21) Any hero with a chainsaw for a hand is bad ass!

Darth Groovy
07-08-2003, 08:26 AM
In all 80's movies, there is always a time passing scene that plays out like a rock video. Parties are not planned, they just break out in the weirdest of places. The bad guy is always a pompous jock jerk with more bad puns and one liners than a Charlie's Angels film. Oh yeah, and there is always the one freind that has a stupid hat or a freaky hair cut.

[RAA]-=Chi3f=-
07-08-2003, 08:40 AM
Originally posted by Darth Groovy
In all 80's movies, there is always a time passing scene that plays out like a rock video. Parties are not planned, they just break out in the weirdest of places. The bad guy is always a pompous jock jerk with more bad puns and one liners than a Charlie's Angels film. Oh yeah, and there is always the one freind that has a stupid hat or a freaky hair cut.


I think you just summed up the first half of my life, lmao!


Also in the 80's: Most of the time the most important thing in life was to dance. Forget saving the world, if you didn't know how to moon walk and do the robot, you're a total dweeb!


Karate kid and Back to the future, need I say more :D

Redwing
07-08-2003, 08:58 AM
Originally posted by Nitro
In the the final fight scene, the good guy will dominate, then get his ass handed to him, and when all seems lost, rally and demolish the competition.

This was only ever effective in The Matrix. My opinion, anyway. ^_^


Originally posted by -=Chi3f=-
16) Radiation causes mutation not to your future children, but to you, there and then. Mutation is never immediately fatal, but first either makes you into a formless blob, or a functional creature with animal-like features. X-men in a nutshell

Actually, X-Men is the exception to that rule. In that 'verse, you have to be born with the mutation to have the unusual traits ;)


Originally posted by -=Chi3f=-
20) Stripping to the waist makes the hero invulnerable.

Yup. Isn't it great? :D


Originally posted by Father Torque
Plain and simple

The Black Guy Always Dies First.

Its true, in like every movie ive seen wheter it be action or horror, the black guy always dies first


Actually, I haven't seen a movie in a long time in which that happens. (I don't watch horror, but I can speak for action ^^)


Minorities such as Native Americans or Asians will always have some sort of mystical knowledge or inate fighting skill. For example, the Native American always knows the course of events to come from some sign in nature, and Asians are all born with Martial Arts skills they can use to battle the bad guys.

I could also mention that I've seen exactly one exception to that rule (for Asians), and it's a character from The Matrix Reloaded - Ghost. Go Matrix. :)


As for 555: Anyone hear what happened with Bruce Almighty, when they didn't make God's phone number a 555 one? ;)

Darth Groovy
07-08-2003, 09:12 AM
In all 80's movies, the guy always gets the girl, who happens to also be a major babe. Regardless of how much of a looser he is, all he has to do is win some sort of major competition and he scores.

Jah Warrior
07-09-2003, 12:32 AM
1:- all cars have an infinite amount of gears for continual downshifting while in the middle of a chase.

2:- good guys always throw their gun away so they can kill the main bad guy with their bear hands.

3:- everyone knows how to hot wire a car

4:- nobody wears a seatbelt in car chases yet when they crash they emerge unscathed.

5:- fat people are always jolly and wear hawaiin shirts :confused:

6:- All doors can be kicked down

7:- bad guys are always english or german

XERXES
07-09-2003, 12:37 AM
Originally posted by Darth Groovy
I wanted to get them all in one thread. I dearly love movies, but there are always patterns.

Ever notice in a horror movie, the protagonist always looses the keys, or the car will not start when being persued by the main spook?
I guess they always get nervous while being persued by a person whos sole purpose in life is to kill you. But then again that truly IS silly.
Originally posted by Darth Groovy

Ever notice that in horror, or event movies, the African American is always the comic relief?
Because black people are allowed to make fun of white people, but if a white person were to make fun of a black person in a similar manner hed get booed for being "racist"
Originally posted by Darth Groovy

Ever notice in action movies, the cops always arive when the action is over?

yep
Originally posted by Darth Groovy

Another horror movie classic, especially in slasher flicks, the first couple that have sex, are the first to get hacked in two?
cause their usually the loudest people in the area:D

Azrael
07-09-2003, 01:38 AM
In action movies:

Hero's never run out of ammo, but if they do, they never chamber a round. If they do run out, they always run out at the worst possible time, like when they're surrounded by ninjas or something.

(Example from the movie Stargate):
4 soldiers, 4 automatic weapons, 6 gun cockings before a single one is fired. And, the black guy is the only one that gets killed during the initial gun fight. Why? 'Cause he's the anti-stereotypical black man.

Darth Groovy
07-09-2003, 04:51 AM
In action films a gunshot wound only becomes life threatening once the action is complete.

Weapon X
07-10-2003, 03:55 PM
Originally posted by Azrael
In action movies:

Hero's never run out of ammo, but if they do, they never chamber a round. If they do run out, they always run out at the worst possible time, like when they're surrounded by ninjas or something.

(Example from the movie Stargate):
4 soldiers, 4 automatic weapons, 6 gun cockings before a single one is fired. And, the black guy is the only one that gets killed during the initial gun fight. Why? 'Cause he's the anti-stereotypical black man.

haha, i have something that supports the 4 guns but 6 cockings, kind of, in episode 1 when obi-wan and qui-gon are in the meeting room when they first ignite their lightsabers, you can hear 3 lightsaber noises instead of just 2, anyone else notice this?

Agen
07-10-2003, 05:03 PM
Much like Dr. Evil points out -
The Bads guy captures the hero, They sometimes eat and have a conversation, isntead of jsut killing them they put them in an easily escapable death machine/warrior situation and assume it all jsut goes to plan.

After the bad guy dies, The building blows has a timer on it until it blows up and the hero excapes in time.

The Woman in the film is always a chick.

If the Hero has got the bad guy in a bad situation (knocked out or something) They never check to see who it is (if it's a masked villain), steal his gun, kill him or call the police.


Dogs always bark at the bad guy

Computer people don't wear specs.

In certain movies, guns are held sideways all the way through.

A teenager's room always has lots of posters

Space explosions always make a band

Lost Welshman
07-10-2003, 06:44 PM
I notice, only in lower budget films, Guns have infinite ammo!!!


And in most action films, no matter how many bullets are fired at the good guy none hit them, maybe one or two. But they are fine 5 mins later. There is a film where the good guy was in hospital after, me thinks tho.

E.g. The Matrix Lobby Scene!

And the Matrix Reloaded Chateu Scene!!!

(That Last one was a joke)

Darth Groovy
07-30-2003, 08:05 AM
In all horror/scary movies, if somebody goes into the bathroom and looks in the mirror on the medicine cabinet, as soon as he opens it, expect the reflection of something creepy, when he closes it. They do it in every scary movie there is, unfortunately, it always works... even if you are ready for it.

Jubatus
07-30-2003, 10:41 AM
- The villain never suspects the hero to be wearing a bulletproof vest.

- The hero, or one of his friends, will always slowly approach and kneel down at the villain when they think him dead after he has been shot, fallen from a great height or hit by a car, etc. even if:
a) They have seen the villain survive much greater damage to his person earlier in the movie or
b) The hero has a full clip in his gun and could easily empty it into the villain's skull from 8' away.

- Time always extends in favour of dialogue.

Kurgan
07-31-2003, 02:57 AM
Oh man, I laughed I cried, I felt pain in my sides, there was this site that had tons of movie/tv cliches (it seems that tv and tv movies have the worst ones), I forget the exact address, it was like moviecliches or movie-cliches.net or .com (you can probably find it in a quick search).

Disorganized site, but lots of funny ones.

My favorite (and I noticed this long ago), the "caught" cliche. This one is big in soap opera's, but I've seen it in countless other tv movies and even some theatrical movies, I swear...

THE SCENARIO:

Guy character's fiance/wife/girlfriend walks in to discover him in bed with another woman.

The fiance/wife/girlfriend is of course shocked/angry/horrified and either says his name or starts to slowly stalk out of the room.

The guy then ALWAYS leaps out of bed, and with the sheet around him or starts to pull his pants on and says to her "Wait, I can EXPLAIN" and she says "You don't have to explain anything to me!"

Or he says "It's not what it looks like!" and she says nothing or huffs and leaves, while he staggers after her. The woman he's cheating with always just stays in bed and says nothing, and covers up.


I always wondered what would happen if the cheated on woman took him up on his offer to "Explain." What would the guy possibly say??

"Ummm.. uh... we were playing doctor? Huh..."

Kurgan
07-31-2003, 03:24 AM
Oh, I forgot the great Star Trek cliche:

If Kirk's shirt get's ripped in a fight, he becomes an unstoppable butt-kicking machine (those uniforms are hard to mend, dangit!)!

jokemaster
07-31-2003, 03:30 AM
Originally posted by Kurgan
I always wondered what would happen if the cheated on woman took him up on his offer to "Explain." What would the guy possibly say??

"She lost her ring in the bed, then the sharp bed posts in the corner ripped off our clothes and we were trying to hide from the neighbors who could see from the open window?"