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Darth Groovy
07-01-2003, 09:06 AM
You know, before I post this, I have to say, I liked the first Charlie's Angel's movie, it was fun, witty, and even charming at times, but this one blew it....


originally posted at www.themanipulation.com

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle

Sony Pictures, (2003)



By Darth Groovy



What do you get when you take scientifically challenged cartoon like stunts, skimpy outfits, outdated music, and a plot that as paper thin as one of Cameron Diaz’s bathing suits? Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, the sequel to a somewhat campy Charlie’s Angels movie 2000, staring Drew Barrymore (Dylan), Cameron Diaz (Natalie), and Lucy Lui (Alex), is not to be taken seriously, yet the over the top cornball nature of the ultra fast action sequences is like a bad video game, or better yet a 100 minute rock video. The shtick is the same as before, only this time, the Angels are after two rings, (Hollywood has a recent obsession with rings lately…) that when put together holds the entire database of everyone in the witness protection program. Naturally Charlie, with the aid of Bernie Mac, the new “Bosley”, which is not just a name now, but a job description, (Bernie Mac: “So what does a Bosley do anyways?”), dispatches his butt kicking supermodels to go fetch the rings for him.

The film then goes into formula that plays out like connect the dots; find evidence, done disguises, find the bad guy, insert action sequence (surfing, motocross, car chase) have a bout with the bad guy (insert bad pun), cue track from Prodigy’s “Fat of the Land” album, then go cue Bernie Mac’s bad jokes. Bernie Mac does his best Charlie Chan, at becoming the typical Hollywood racial stereotype. No event film is complete without the African American comic relief, and Bernie Mac is not funny do to this over saturated script.

The action sequences are even worse. Full Throttle recycles everything from Jon Woo, to the Wachowski brothers without even trying to make it look original. The Angels fly through the air, do back flips, dodge bullets in slow motion and spend a lot of time smacking each other on the buttocks. During one particular scene, the Angels are catapulted through the roof of a dock warehouse, holding onto each other’s appendages, grab boards from the shattered roof, and then surf them down an anchor chain onto the dock. The Angels seem to defy all laws of gravity and science, and even though they are not superheroes, this would not even fly well in a comic book. In between each action sequence, Barrymore, Diaz, and Liu always seem to find time to go into a dance sequence.

A lot of familiar Hollywood faces walk onto the set of this nightmare, such as John Cleese, Bruce Willis, Matt Leblanc, and even though they are all part of the movie, they cannot help this blunder from falling flat.

Demi Moore becomes one of many villains as a former Angel with an agenda of her own. We first see her on a beach showing off her well toned body, as she first encounters Natalie, but then later in the film, she looks like Lara Croft, in vinyl toting two golden pistols, that could have easily been stolen from Nicholas Cage off the set of Face Off. Crispen Glover reprises his roll as the hair sniffing psychotic “Thin Man”, yet his purpose in this movie remains to be known.

The dialogue in this movie is even more nauseating than the action sequences. The Angels finish each other’s dialogue like the agents from the Matrix, and talk so fast, that you need the rewind button to figure out just what the hell they are saying.

The music in this movie is mostly recycled from the first film, playing the now outdated Prodigy songs, and everything else is nothing less than ten years old. So don’t waste your money on the soundtrack either.

Director McG, must have thought that the pretty faces and paper thin costumes would be enough to hold box office charm, but not even the three beauties who star in this film can save it from imminent disaster. This film is just not meant to be watched, with the exception of some horny 12 year old boys that are totally into Tomb Raider. Although it is not meant to be taken seriously, this film is seriously taking the campy elements to extremities, making it more fluff than fun. Full throttle ultimately becomes a full blown migraine headache. After viewing this film, you may want to go home and do some long division problems just to see if you can retain any of your brain cells.



Score: 52%

BongoBob
07-01-2003, 09:12 AM
1st movie:Explosions, and girls in skimpy outfits.
2nd Movie:Explosions, more girls in even more skimpier outfits, and Bernie Mack-
My Review of the movies:D

The Cheat
07-01-2003, 09:29 AM
i agree with you Darth Groovy, this one just didnt seem to have the magic that the first one had

Darth Groovy
07-01-2003, 09:30 AM
I went because I enjoyed the first film. But mostly I went because of Drew Barrymore...my soon to be wife. She just doesn't know it yet. :naughty:

Lunatic Jedi
07-01-2003, 09:32 AM
But the way she looks at you when she spots you in the bushes next to her bedroom window, staring through a pair of binoculars, you can just tell its love, can't ya? :p

BongoBob
07-01-2003, 09:43 AM
:rofl:

Lunatic Jedi
07-01-2003, 09:44 AM
Making a witty comment without adding anything intelligent to the conversation is just one of my many talents! ;)

(I've been told I'm quite good with paper airplanes :D )

Sam Fisher
07-01-2003, 11:05 AM
I watched the first one, but I didn't like it very much, so I'm probally not going to see the next one.

Semicolon
07-01-2003, 12:03 PM
Havn't seen either one...Don't intend too.

superracer0022
07-01-2003, 12:20 PM
yeah the second one doesnt even compare to the first so if you dont like the first or didnt love the first you wont want to see this one

ET Warrior
07-01-2003, 04:51 PM
did not enjoy the first one, except for Bill Murray, he was the only bright spot in the original Charlie's Angels, therefore I have no intention of seeing this next one........


Groovy.....Drew Barrymore? Are you serious? I find her rather unattractive....but I guess to each his own.

Loki GM
07-01-2003, 05:01 PM
Originally posted by ET Warrior
Groovy.....Drew Barrymore? Are you serious? I find her rather unattractive....but I guess to each his own.

*slaps ET in the face*

Drew Barrymores hot say it Drew Barrymores hot say it

oh well I think Cameran Diaz (probably spelt wrong) looks tons better then Drew

the only thing I liked about the first was the skimpy costumes they wore and I may have to see this one for the dame reasons

Icemaniax
07-01-2003, 06:05 PM
i likeed it,but there was WAY to many computer used scenes, barely any real stunts, all Computer animated :P good movie otherwise

ET Warrior
07-01-2003, 07:37 PM
Originally posted by Loki GM
*slaps ET in the face*

Drew Barrymores hot say it Drew Barrymores hot say it

oh well I think Cameran Diaz (probably spelt wrong) looks tons better then Drew

the only thing I liked about the first was the skimpy costumes they wore and I may have to see this one for the dame reasons

Bah, I disagree with you as well. I think that Drew and Cameron are about equal in the looks department. I'm not impressed by either. Lucy Liu is the only one of the Angels that I really find attractive.......but there are still WAY more attractive women than them.........Elizabeth Hurley comes to mind....:naughty:

Icemaniax
07-01-2003, 07:46 PM
Originally posted by ET Warrior
Lucy Liu is the only one of the Angels that I really find attractive.......but there are still WAY more attractive women than them.........Elizabeth Hurley comes to mind....:naughty:

WELL SAID! i totally agree :) Lucy Lui....:naughty:


*thinks of Liz Hurley & drools*

superracer0022
07-01-2003, 08:46 PM
wipes drool off face, yeah i wish elizabeth hurley was an angel

Loki GM
07-01-2003, 08:49 PM
why???

Kain
07-01-2003, 10:23 PM
Lucy Liu - **** eyed and ugly
Cameron Diaz - Looks older than Demi Moore, uglier too
Drew Barrymore - Fat, stupid, and Never Been Kissed. She should've died for real in Scream
Demi Moore - Old and nausiating after Ghost
Bernie Mack - Got his career all black people get acting careers...making fun of whitey
Action - Matrix anyone?
Dialogue - Smith on crack

Overall I'd say everyone involved in this movie and its predicesor should be dragged into the street and shot several times in the face...

obi
07-01-2003, 10:49 PM
Cameron Diaz, Lucy liu, and Drew Barrymore all on the same screen makes me nautious. I haven't seen the first CA Movie, and I don't plan on seeing this one.

Darth Groovy
07-01-2003, 10:58 PM
Originally posted by Lunatic Jedi
Making a witty comment without adding anything intelligent to the conversation is just one of my many talents! ;)

(I've been told I'm quite good with paper airplanes :D )

It's also called spam, for which you have been warned about before already. You may find it funny, but other find it annoying. Consider this your second warning.

obi
07-01-2003, 11:02 PM
Originally posted by Darth Groovy
It's also called spam, for which you have been warned about before already. You may find it funny, but other find it annoying. Consider this your second warning.

What he said. I've sen you all over the place. Please, tone it down just a bit.

El Sitherino
07-01-2003, 11:09 PM
Originally posted by MydnightPsion
Demi Moore - Old and nausiating after Ghost
Bernie Mack - Got his career all black people get acting careers...making fun of whitey
hey bernie mac and demi moore are cool. and demi moore is still very attractive. i'd like to see anyone here remain atleast 25 looking when they get as old as her.

Lunatic Jedi
07-02-2003, 02:38 AM
Originally posted by Darth Groovy
It's also called spam, for which you have been warned about before already. You may find it funny, but other find it annoying. Consider this your second warning.

Yeesh. All I did was make a joke. :rolleyes:

Oh, I get it. You're just mad because Drew Barrymore had the restraining order bumped up, right? :p

AGH! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! :(

ZBomber
07-02-2003, 02:40 AM
Originally posted by Semicolon
Havn't seen either one...Don't intend too.

You know, we feel the same way on a lot of things..... smook-ums. :xp:

Yeh, I never saw the first one or second, and I don't paln to. ;)

Darth Eggplant
07-02-2003, 03:49 AM
if you look for a thread called seeing movies or something this weekend, I already went on a dont see or support CAFT motif. i wanted you all to save your money, and as wise film critic Jay says if a movie is really bad dont go see it. Groovster too abd we dont live near each other I would go see Nemo with you. I forgot to the Pirates movie is directed by Jerry Bruck... of CSI and CSI Miami and Without a Trace so I think that is a good sign. yes go see Arnie, go see Legally Blonde 2 cause Reese and little Bruiser will put on a better show.

MikeDoggg2004
07-04-2003, 04:44 AM
I AGREE TOTALY
I saw CHarles Angels 2 and it was worst then the first one. I barely liked the first one but thesecond one had a horible plot!

Lunatic Jedi
07-04-2003, 06:45 AM
Originally posted by ZBomber
You know, we feel the same way on a lot of things..... smook-ums. :xp:

:eyeraise:

*Slowly backs away from Z...*

RoguePhotonic
07-04-2003, 06:56 AM
:rofl:

El Sitherino
07-04-2003, 12:20 PM
this movie was based off a plot from the show. the show took place in the 70's. yet again even though i didn't particularly enjoy the film. charlies angels was never meant to be serious. it's based on a 70's show called CHARLIES ANGELS a show that wasn't meant to be serious either. they gave corny lines like they would have in the show.they made them skampy like they did in the old show. don't complain about a movie when it's trying to stay true to it's source.

Clemme w/Stick
07-04-2003, 04:20 PM
Originally posted by Semicolon
Havn't seen either one...Don't intend too.

Ditto.
Although the thought of 3 good looking females in small swimsuits does sound promising, I dont think I'll ever watch those movies.

-Clemme

Agen
07-04-2003, 06:12 PM
Hopefully i won't have to torture my eyes watching that junk ;)

NoWayOut
07-05-2003, 08:16 AM
this movie bites
:fett:

Semicolon
07-05-2003, 08:20 AM
Originally posted by Agen_Terminator
Hopefully i won't have to torture my eyes watching that junk ;)

LoL Same Agen :D

Dath Maximus
07-05-2003, 05:25 PM
the only way i will ever see this movie is if im payed to

either that or demi moore has to personally show up and "pay" me to watch it

anywho.....

why did bosley become black? bill murry was cool
he made a gun out of soap that looke perfect

<JOTD>Jedi Hunter
07-05-2003, 05:47 PM
Because Bill wouldn't come back. He and Lisa (Ling or lang, one or the other) didn't get along at all. So they made Bossly a title rather than a person. I read many reviews of this movie. And I've heard nothing but bad things. If you want a bad story with nothing but stupid punch lines (like 3po in aotc) and skantly dressed women, see this movie. Why not, aotc sold alot of tickets, why can't this? ;)

Jared
07-06-2003, 06:00 PM
The movie was intertaining...despite the plot.

Darth Groovy
07-06-2003, 06:07 PM
Originally posted by TK-421
The movie was intertaining...despite the plot.

Ok, the chicks were hot, but past that....what?!?:confused:

Bill Murry was smart to pass on this stinker, I would call that a brilliant career decision!

Jared
07-06-2003, 06:18 PM
I almost didnt see it cause he wasnt gonna be in it. He was funny, unlike that stupid new bosly.

Darth Groovy
07-06-2003, 06:45 PM
Yes, Bosley was unimaginative. Typical "make fun of the black man" humor. Stale.:rolleyes:

Semicolon
07-06-2003, 06:50 PM
Bernie Mac is funny!!!

RoguePhotonic
07-06-2003, 07:15 PM
He is but he had poor lines....

:rofl:

My title says mommys little girl?...

:rofl:

Jared
07-06-2003, 11:59 PM
yea sorry dude, I couldnt resist...i'll change it back if you really want:D

Agen
07-07-2003, 12:03 AM
Hehe, Tyrion thoguht it was funny too :D then again i can change it anytime i want :p

RoguePhotonic
07-07-2003, 04:51 AM
lol you hacked it?....

Semicolon
07-07-2003, 07:06 AM
Originally posted by RoguePhotonic
lol you hacked it?....

StoreHack 2.0

Darth Groovy
07-08-2003, 02:47 AM
http://www.themanipulation.com/stayontopic.jpg

RoguePhotonic
07-08-2003, 02:52 AM
ok...did I say how bad charlies angels story was? :D

Darth Groovy
07-08-2003, 03:04 AM
Originally posted by RoguePhotonic
ok...did I say how bad charlies angels story was? :D

You see, you been spamming for so long, you forgot what you said...

Just say "no" to spam!:)

RoguePhotonic
07-08-2003, 03:54 AM
No I was joking lol...

Darth Groovy
07-08-2003, 08:17 AM
I wasn't. :)

RoguePhotonic
07-08-2003, 08:34 AM
:sweat:

Semicolon
07-08-2003, 08:47 AM
TOPIC PLZ!!!

Darth Groovy
07-08-2003, 09:19 AM
Originally posted by Semicolon
TOPIC PLZ!!!

That goes for you too Mr. Spammer!

[RAA]-=Chi3f=-
07-08-2003, 09:50 AM
Originally posted by Darth Groovy
That goes for you too Mr. Spammer!


Shall I continue then....


Charlie's Angels sucked! I feel as though my eyes have been molested by pigmies! The day those three become THAT skillful is the day I grow a third testicle!


*Grows a third testicle* :eek:




Blast you and your voodoo John Woo!

Darth Groovy
07-08-2003, 10:03 AM
Originally posted by -=Chi3f=-
Shall I continue then....


Charlie's Angels sucked! I feel as though my eyes have been molested by pigmies! The day those three become THAT skillful is the day I grow a third testicle!


*Grows a third testicle* :eek:




Blast you and your voodoo John Woo!

Are you refering to the sequal? If so, which do you feel was the worst scene?

[RAA]-=Chi3f=-
07-08-2003, 10:15 AM
I didn't like the first one that much. I felt that Drew Barrymore couldn't have done all those things (like massive butt-kicking while tied in a chair). What really ruined it for me was the over the top wire-fu! I mean damn!! It worked in Crouching Tiger because it was, in a sense, like a story a grandfather would tell his grandchildren (fight scenes in a child's mind). In other words it fit the story. But in both movies, especially the second one, it just ticked me off!

*huff-huff*


As for the second movie I...err...watched a really looong trailer acquired on the internet (handycam version). I do this to see if the movie is worth watching in the theaters. I'm glad I didn't dish out the $8.00 to see that. The scene I didn't like was where Drew did the limbo-slide under the table. I mean wtf? That's just an insult to martial arts, imho. :cool:

Darth Groovy
07-08-2003, 10:18 AM
The first was at least entertaining, and kind of fun. But if it is the stunts you hated, then CAFT will really piss you off. It's no secret that I am in love with Drew Barrymore, but even her beauty could not save this runaway train wreck...

[RAA]-=Chi3f=-
07-08-2003, 10:33 AM
Mmm...


I like Drew too. DO the Drew! Poison Ivy.. hubba hubba. I bet she tastes like Tom Green, though!



*ralphs* :(



Don't get me wrong, I like the first one, it's just I'm a big critic of martial arts and weapons in movies. For instance, when I saw Resident Evil in the threatres, I was pissed when the main actress (Jill?) fired too many rounds from the baretta she lifted off the dead security guard in the dog fight scene. I'm just like that, lol.


*Donates points*