View Full Version : Larry King interviews Darth Maul

07-13-2003, 08:58 PM
Ok, I've found this to be pretty funny after Google searching (not sure if there was a thread like this in the past), but oh well, here goes nothing!

Larry King: Welcome to Larry King Live. With us today is Darth Maul, Dark Lord of the Sith.
Darth Maul: Hi Larry. Technically I'm just a Sith Lordling. But I prefer to be called Associate Lord of the Sith.
Larry King: I see. Well, I know I found you to be a delightful villain in The Phantom Menace.
Darth Maul: Thank you very much, Larry.
Larry King: So, you must really hate those Jedi. Especially after they teamed up against you, two-on-one like that.
Darth Maul: Actually Larry, I bear them no ill will. I was hunting them down simply because it's my job. As an assassin serving Darth Sidious, that's what I do. There's some risk involved in my job. I knew that when I took it.
Larry King: Fascinating. So how do you like working for Darth Sidious. Are you upset that he sent you into a situation where you got sliced in half?
Darth Maul: No. As I said, it goes with the line of work. Darth Sidious looks a little gruff to people who don't know him, but he's really very caring. He's been a great boss and master. Sure, he expects excellence in his workers, but who can blame him for that?
Larry King: Well, some people in Coruscant are concerned that maybe Sidious isn't training his young apprentices well enough.
Darth Maul: No, I think I was well-trained.
Larry King: One last question about Lord Sidious. There are some rumors that he's Senator Palpatine.
Darth Maul: I really can't comment on that because of the nondisclosure agreement I signed with Lucasfilm.
Larry King: OK. How about you tell us a little about yourself. What do you like to do?
Darth Maul: Well, outside of practicing the Force and sparring with my lightsaber, I like to relax with my family. Me and my wife play Bridge with a couple from Dantooine every other Tuesday. I also like to watch Tiger Woods play golf on Sith-Vision and listen to Britney Spears on my Sith-MP3 player.
Larry King: That sounds great. Do you know what kind of music Lord Sidious Listens to?
Darth Maul: His favorite is Backstreet Boys. Though I've caught him playing Garth Brooks sometimes in his throne room when he thinks no one is around.
Larry King: On to a new subject. Just about everyone I know thinks your Sith Infiltrator has a lot of baditude, but what's up with that Sith-Cycle? It looks so silly!
Darth Maul: (Laughs) I know! It's the best I can afford right now on an Associate Sith Lord's salary while I'm paying for my children's lightsaber lessons. You should have seen the Sith-Scooter I used to drive in college...
Larry King: (chuckling, then calms down) So what made you go into the whole Sith-Assassin line of work?
Darth Maul: Well, I was fresh out of Sith University with a Masters in Applied Force Studies, and the Sith had this really interesting recruiting table set up at the career fair. I figured: hey, I'll get to see the galaxy, go on adventures. In all, I can't complain. Let's just say it sure beat blasting wamprats back in Beggar's Canyon
Larry King: Tell me about it. I myself was blasting wamprats over in CNN Canyon before I got this show. It paid the bills, but I sure was glad to get out of that gig.
Darth Maul: Yeah.
Larry King: I've heard that the Sith Lords are taking a new direction lately.
Darth Maul: Yes. We're starting to realize that some of our more violent policies of the past weren't realizing the returns the Sith-Board of Directors recquired to meet their fiduciary duties to the Sith-Shareholders.
Larry King: So you're diversifying?
Darth Maul: Yes, we're looking more and more at selling books and other assorted products over the internet. You know, e-commerce? Right now we're integreating our ERP.
Larry King: Is it turning a profit?
Darth Maul: It sure is! Our company, Amazon.com, is really shattering old market paradigms. We're making a great profit, but staying socially conscious at the same time, investing much of our earnings in local programs with the United Way. The galactic community has given so much to the Lords of the Sith. Now we want to give some of it back.
Larry King: (dabs at eyes) That is simply heart-warming.
Darth Maul: Well, Darth Sidious and I want to thank you for giving us a chance to get some good public relations for the Sith, since we've been unfairly maligned by much of the public in the past. Also, ae have a present for you.
Larry King: For me?
Darth Maul: Two presents actually. First, here is a lightsaber for you to use on your show. Also, we'd like you to take this certificate, which makes you an honorary Lord of the Sith.
Darth Larry King: (extends lightsaber) Oh, this is a real honor.
Darth Maul: The honor is all ours.
Darth Larry King: Any final words?
Darth Maul: Buy books from Amazon.com!

Well then, looks like we'll all have to stay away from Larry King now! ROFLMAO!

What do you all think of this?

07-13-2003, 09:05 PM
FUNNY!:p :p :p :p :p :p

07-13-2003, 10:03 PM
LOL. i like this...wish Lost Welshman had done a interview first...he would make it funny.

Sam Fisher
07-13-2003, 10:44 PM

THat was pretty good :p

07-13-2003, 10:48 PM
That was great!:lol: :lol:

07-13-2003, 11:32 PM
Hey! I should make a flash movie about this! That'd be something, wouldn't it? :rofl:

07-13-2003, 11:37 PM
So damn funny ,Nice find :)

07-13-2003, 11:42 PM
Thanks. I think I will make this into a flash movie, with some minor editing. ;) :)

07-13-2003, 11:43 PM
Cool i can't wait to see it ;)

The Cheat
07-15-2003, 12:47 PM
ha that is great

07-17-2003, 07:25 AM
i thought it was a bit wierd...