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View Full Version : Announcing my candidacy for the governorship of California


Zoom Rabbit
08-08-2003, 09:43 AM
:dozey: This is just getting silly. Gray Davis has to run for his own position twice, and now Arnold Schwarzenegger, Larry Flynt and Gallagher--Gallagher!--among others (not to overlook Gary Coleman there) are all running for his seat. This isn't politics anymore, folks, it's a drunken Las Vegas mob wedding, with Bin Ladens on the guest list. Actors, porno publishers, comedians...

So why not a rabbit? :max: I am therefore running for governor!

I have a vision for the state of California which outstrips any of the feeble reasonings of movie stars or 'seasoned opinions' of the 'real' politicians. Turn the racketeers and porno hustlers out, for Zoom Rabbit has the higher future in hand.

California must be bulldozed and turned into a giant feral parrot habitat. By reducing the human population, we would also reduce our need for social services and use of overburdened natural resources. What few Californians fail to take the hint and move elsewhere can be housed in giant underground worker hive communities, where frail and squinty-eyed troglodytes can be put to hard work, turning out a number of hemp fiber products (grown in our Humboldt county hemp farms, of course) cheaply enough to make the Chinese look downright greedy. Our profits can be used to buy crackers for the feral parrots, and the rest secreted in a Swiss account for 'emergencies.'

Let's face it. :dozey: No one wants to live in California anymore. We should therefore raze the whole thing and give the parrots a shot at it for awhile. The citizens of the state will be grateful.

So, forget Arnie. Forget Davis, or any of the mobsters likely to show up on that ticket...vote for ME, Zoom Rabbit, as your write-in candidate for the governorship of California. You probably won't be sorry.

Thank you for your time. :max:

(My apologies to anyone who already read my candidacy speech at GB.Com. Vote for me anyway.)

STTCT
08-08-2003, 10:02 AM
I'd vote for you. I live in this state obviously ran by money whores. I hate Gray Davis. With an undying passion. He ran our state into the ground and into financial hell. He fired countless teachers and took tons of money away from good programs only to make up for his big mistake from the energy crisis. I'm sorry but this guy is an idiot. It is also a joke that so many damn famous movie stars want to get their career on the road by becoming the govenor. I will probably vote for Arnould. He has nothing to gain as far as $$ goes. He can't **** it up as bad as Davis has either.

HertogJan
08-08-2003, 10:02 AM
Hey, you stole my idea :mad:

I'm a better governor! I promised free beer for everyone in California... That's right, even ZBomber ;)

Zoom Rabbit
08-08-2003, 10:06 AM
Hertogjan...EVERYONE stole your idea! :D That's my point.

I will take the free beer, though. :max: Yoink!

HertogJan
08-08-2003, 11:19 AM
Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit
Hertogjan...EVERYONE stole your idea! :D That's my point.

I will take the free beer, though. :max: Yoink!

Nuh-uh, only if you vote for me will that happen :) And yeah, they are all rip-offs of me... Heineken, Budweiser, Warsteiner... In the beginning was only one beer... MY BEER :mad: Or were you talking about something else ;)

ZBomber
08-08-2003, 09:26 PM
Originally posted by HertogJan
Hey, you stole my idea :mad:

I'm a better governor! I promised free beer for everyone in California... That's right, even ZBomber ;)

Alright! Go me! :p

Darth Eggplant
08-08-2003, 11:50 PM
make it manditory state law for Oingo Boingo to have to get together once a year to play a Halloween gig and you've got my vote Zoomy.

yolkboy
08-09-2003, 12:00 AM
Originally posted by HertogJan
Hey, you stole my idea :mad:
I'm a better governor! I promised free beer for everyone in California... That's right, even ZBomber ;)
Ummm... Beer. HertogJan Beer of course though. :D and another vote to Zoom Rabbit. For in my imaginary election, I can vote twice ;)

Redwing
08-09-2003, 12:25 AM
Originally posted by STTCT
I'd vote for you. I live in this state obviously ran by money whores. I hate Gray Davis. With an undying passion. He ran our state into the ground and into financial hell. He fired countless teachers and took tons of money away from good programs only to make up for his big mistake from the energy crisis. I'm sorry but this guy is an idiot. It is also a joke that so many damn famous movie stars want to get their career on the road by becoming the govenor. I will probably vote for Arnould. He has nothing to gain as far as $$ goes. He can't **** it up as bad as Davis has either.

Hear, hear.

Zoomie: I protest. I mean, hey, I like feral parrots as much as the next gal/guy, but I also like having a home! ;)

BigTeddyPaul
08-09-2003, 01:23 AM
The reason I like Arnold is that he isn't a lifer in politics. This is just something to do for fun and to put on his resume. There are a few good candidates out there who might do a good job but you never know.

BigTeddyPaul

Eldritch
08-09-2003, 04:46 AM
I got a couple of campaign slogans for ole' Arnie:

Arnold dresses as the Terminator from Terminator 2... menacingly walks towards the camera, giving it a cold, hard, robotic stare. He then extends his hand, and in it is clutched a California Registered Voter Card. He then adlibs one of his lines from T2.
"Vote for me if you want to live."

Ok, then, when the smear campaigns start, Arnie can dress up as the Terminator again, and using a combination of special effects and CGI, he can use a shotgun to shoot each of his CG'd opponents. Then he adlibs another of his lines:
"Hasta la vista, candidates."

Come on people, this stuff is GOLD! Work with me here! :D

Lil Killa
08-09-2003, 05:25 AM
ROFL Eldritch you should be a director....

I vote for Arnold I mean coomon my name IS John Conner or.... wait...

Kylilin
08-09-2003, 05:33 AM
I'd like to announce my candidacy for Lieutenant Governor under the Zoom Rabbit administration. I like parrots.

Mex
08-09-2003, 08:39 AM
Originally posted by Eldritch
I got a couple of campaign slogans for ole' Arnie:

Arnold dresses as the Terminator from Terminator 2... menacingly walks towards the camera, giving it a cold, hard, robotic stare. He then extends his hand, and in it is clutched a California Registered Voter Card. He then adlibs one of his lines from T2.
"Vote for me if you want to live."


I got that card through my mail today.
http://www.gongoozler.com/images/arnold.jpg

XERXES
08-09-2003, 08:57 AM
I think its funny, I want to know what he can really do though. Not just look all mighty and powerful.

Ray Jones
08-09-2003, 09:07 AM
ok zoom i vote for you..

but i hope it wont turn out to be a mistake if some predators will arrive earth during your governorship..


:D

btw.. i like arnold he sometimes has this funny look that makes you think ..

"his face ist actually baled to a fist.. isnt it??"

Ratmjedi
08-09-2003, 09:21 AM
Originally posted by STTCT
I'd vote for you. I live in this state obviously ran by money whores. I hate Gray Davis. With an undying passion. He ran our state into the ground and into financial hell. He fired countless teachers and took tons of money away from good programs only to make up for his big mistake from the energy crisis. I'm sorry but this guy is an idiot. It is also a joke that so many damn famous movie stars want to get their career on the road by becoming the govenor. I will probably vote for Arnould. He has nothing to gain as far as $$ goes. He can't **** it up as bad as Davis has either.

You know he is actually going to finance his campaign. I also will not vote for you Zoom. I like my state the way it is without the financial problems. California is a great state to live in.

:lsduel: :duel:

Zoom Rabbit
08-09-2003, 11:18 AM
Don't get me wrong...I love California! It is a never-ending source of amusement.

Redwing: As I said over at GB.Com, I will appoint you 'King of the Feral Parrot People.' :D We'll leave Disneyland intact, so you can have that as your house. The tourists will leave, I assure you, when the feral parrots get to them.

Kylilin: I like your style, son. :max: You're in.

I heard an anti-Schwarzenegger radio ad today with Nazi marching music in the background...something about his father. :dozey: Classy stuff.

I have an idea (of my own.) HertogJan, how about if we run a 'California Governor' election right here in the Swamp? We can wait until the day of the election, then post a poll with the candidates' names to see who becomes the *Swamp California Governor.*

HertogJan
08-09-2003, 11:28 AM
Darn I'll never win!! Not enough beer drinkers in here :( How about I throw in:

- free tequila for everyone too, but ONLY 16 years and above ;)
- more free days, like 'beer day', 'star wars day' and a 'everybody party on for 36 hours day' :)
- no ridiculous games or movies rating systems, that won't allow 12 year old ppl to see Matrix Reloaded
- free broadband internet access is REQUIRED for all californian citizens

More to come :D

Eldritch
08-09-2003, 02:01 PM
Originally posted by Kanjo past
I got that card through my mail today.
http://www.gongoozler.com/images/arnold.jpg
LOL... not exactly what I had in mind, but close enough!

Ray Jones
08-09-2003, 07:04 PM
Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit

I heard an anti-Schwarzenegger radio ad today with Nazi marching music in the background...something about his father. :dozey: Classy stuff.




..
:p
yeah arnold and nazis ..

*pretending arnolds terminator voice*

he you nazipeople.. my race is better that yours blamblamblam .. i wont need to come back ..

:D:D:D:D

RoyTordesLegend
08-09-2003, 08:34 PM
I vote Ray Jones!!

Heres Rays flier.....

http://www.costumes.org/tara/photoalbum/alicerocky99/MVC-023F.JPG

VOTE RAY!!!

Ray Jones
08-09-2003, 08:43 PM
DAMNIT ROY TORDES LEGEND!!!!!!!!!!

where did you got that picture from!!!!!!! it thought i destroyed the negative..

(grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. if i'd only had WEBSPACE)

:p

hey roy.. *looks down* :dozey: youre standing in a swamp.. :D:D:D


but nice to see you like that since :dozey: i do it to ..


*roy and ray standing in a swamp*

:wavey: :wavey:



:D

btw: do you remember if i did those chicks on the pic??

RoyTordesLegend
08-09-2003, 08:56 PM
I believe you did Ray, even though you were informed that they were (imagine this in the Alan Partridge stylee) "aaahhhh Ladyboys".....

Anyway, what are your core policies Ray? Can we expect to see the compulsory wearing of all underwear on the OUTSIDE, and the reclassification of Cats as Dogs?

Ray Jones
08-09-2003, 09:18 PM
:D lets see ..

pantees is a must for all .. nothing but pantees ..

cats would stay cats and dogs dogs.. but i would start a program to build up a big city where they can live in a big comunity.. :)


plus you would be my personal advisor and vice governor because i am heavy busied with my current position as
*Tam Tam* aresen imperial court jester *TAAAAAAMMMMM*

RoyTordesLegend
08-09-2003, 09:34 PM
Sorry Ray - I just don't believe in your policies, that one about the Cat and Dog Community is just craziness.....Ferretts, a community of Ferretts......now THAT would make sense!!!!

In any case Ray, I haven't got a gold campaign thong - I'd need one of those if I were to join the team!!!!

Ray Jones
08-09-2003, 09:53 PM
*points at roytordes 'insane' stamp on his forehead*

you joined already .. :D

RoyTordesLegend
08-09-2003, 10:13 PM
...oh YEAH!!!

What about campaign freebies Ray?!

Arnie and Gary Coleman have already offered me a hell of a lot of great TV and Film related merchandise to join their teams.....Arnie offered me a cardboard cutout of Robert Davi!!!

......what do I get for being on the Ray Jones team?

Domo-Kun
08-09-2003, 11:09 PM
I'll vote for you

Sam Fisher
08-09-2003, 11:22 PM
I'll vote for anyone if they ask ;) as long as its not for something like governor Texas(that's where I live:))

So you got my vote.

Father Torque
08-10-2003, 01:44 AM
I dont feel that the californai crisis is a Las Vegas mod wedding. I feel differently. i just got back from a republican picnic for King County (Washington). And this cival rights guy, who is very very good. Dont remember his name though. Briefed on the california crisis, and started talking about how the many many candiadtes feel that they can change California. Its not for a bunch of actors to get popularity. Its just that people like Arnold have plans to turn Californis around. And who knows. Some actors and celebrities may be smarter than the actaull frm political figures. So, i guess thats my opinion. And ummn... down with Davis, up with Arnold:D

Ray Jones
08-10-2003, 06:06 PM
Originally posted by RoyTordesLegend
...oh YEAH!!!

What about campaign freebies Ray?!

Arnie and Gary Coleman have already offered me a hell of a lot of great TV and Film related merchandise to join their teams.....Arnie offered me a cardboard cutout of Robert Davi!!!

......what do I get for being on the Ray Jones team?

I can offer you a liver cutout of Gary Coleman AND my exclusive pantees collection ..

oh.. and the most important thing you'll get .. you can tell everybody that you are part of the Jones team ..

if youre not believing in my policies .. it is ok..
since i do change my goals after my election for governor
i'll find a way to convince you to my methods of rulership..

hmm.. during that sudden LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG offlineperiod that i enjoyed (my prov has gone offline) i asked me the question(s):

1. has someone like me the right to candidate for governour of california??
2. what will zoom rabbit do if i use his thread for my purposes
3. let makes things interesting.. i announce YOU to candidate for the governor of california.. :D:D:D

Zoom Rabbit
08-10-2003, 09:09 PM
*(Looks at Ray. Shrugs.)* I would probably spray paint you yellow and glue deer horns to your head. :D

Also, I wish to endorse RoyTordesLegend as my choice for the governorship. :max: Never mind a reason--reason is a ship that sailed long ago, when the recall petition went through...

There are around 150 candidates registered in California. :) Is it even possible for me to make more fun of this situation than it already is doing itself?

Ray Jones
08-10-2003, 09:27 PM
Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit
Also, I wish to endorse RoyTordesLegend as my choice for the governorship. :max: Never mind a reason--reason is a ship that sailed long ago, when the recall petition went through...


oh roy THAT looks good for you.. we have a new candidate!! :p

from now on ladies and gentlemen my two favorite candidates are RoyTordesLegend and Zoom Rabbit !!!

vote as you 'like' but vote for one of them .. !!!! :D


*rubs his hands cause now he can play them both off against each other and gain money from it*


..

*remembers he just used zooms thread for his plans*

*shrugs*

i like glue. :) :)

RoyTordesLegend
08-10-2003, 10:45 PM
I cant be a candidate......unfortunately.....

.....Rays offer of his entire panty collection means I must withdraw from the race so I can join Rays team and claim my prize!!!

Ray Jones
08-11-2003, 03:10 PM
submit to your fate. your sucked in right now ..

but lets see.. YEAH.. there is a task i have for you (and maybe Das). But more for that LATER .. i am going on vacation at the end of the week.. .. you better watch your PM!!

what?? :D oh you will like it..!!!!! .. ok.. only that much: Panties involved..! ;)

RoyTordesLegend
08-11-2003, 06:35 PM
You're a sick and twisted man Ray - thats probably why we get on!!