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Lost Welshman
08-18-2003, 05:54 PM
In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions on consumer products :

1. On a blanket from Taiwan -
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

5. On a New Zealand insect spray -
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO
WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE
PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL
FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
OPEN OTHER END.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

11. On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter special!)

12. On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
(And that would be how?)

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(Too late! You lose!)

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

15. On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to....?)

17. On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
(Now I'm curious.)

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

20. On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

22. On some frozen dinners
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box
FITS ONE HEAD.

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.


*sigh* Post any that you know/find out

Reclaimer
08-18-2003, 06:02 PM
Saw this no a site.

WARNING- CHILDREN MIGHT TRY TO DO THE WARTHOG JUMP WITH YOUR CAR. KEEP ROCKET LAUNCHERS OUT OF CHILDRENS REACH.

Like we have Rocket Launchers.:rolleyes:

swphreak
08-18-2003, 06:29 PM
Of course we don't. . . .

*coughs*


We're doomed I tell ya! Doomed!

Kstar__2
08-18-2003, 06:41 PM
yes, man is pretty stupid in general :D

keep out of children, rofl

Matt-Liell
08-18-2003, 06:50 PM
Originally posted by Lost Welshman


21. On a child's superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!....not that I ever wanted to be superman...)



On the whole most of em are stupid, but as stupid as it seems, they have to print this one becuase once a young child jumped out of a hotel in New York wearing a superman costume cause he was a huge fan, he of course died and it was very tragic, now they have to print this by law.

Lost Welshman
08-18-2003, 06:54 PM
That's kinda sad...let's all have a moment's silence..... .... ... .. .



Anyhoo, I'll edit the post a bit

Jed
08-18-2003, 07:09 PM
Still...who isn't watching their damn kid enough to stop them from doing that?

*sigh*

Very, VERY funny list Welsh ;)

I'm still pondering about that chainsaw one...:indif:

Matt-Liell
08-18-2003, 07:14 PM
Originally posted by Jed
Still...who isn't watching their damn kid enough to stop them from doing that?


Well it was at like 1 o'clock in the morning and his parents left the window open a tiny bit for air while sleeping I guess, and he crawled out of bed to go fly around New York.:(

WolfmanNCSU
08-18-2003, 07:20 PM
"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.

"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.

"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.

"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

RoguePhotonic
08-18-2003, 09:55 PM
. On a New Zealand insect spray -
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

I don't see what is wrong with this one...it's not tested on animals...it was only tested on humans..so what's the big deal?...the spray is for humans after all.