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View Full Version : Ode to Max Pain


whitedragon
09-16-2003, 08:11 PM
I got the inspiration for this this morning when i saw my empty
chex mix bag on my computer desk so this story came out of nowhere lol. im not finished yet but ill keep posting more of the story




*I walked into the best buy knowing this wouldent end well. the place was empty for everyone except one clerk*

Clerk: how may i help you sir

*she said in that robot souless voice that they seem to acuire on there first day at work. stareing into her eyes was like stareing into an empty chex mix bag on your computer desk that you had eaten the night before while watching die hard*

Ian: can you tell me where jedi knight 3 is.

*her fake grin widend like she just thought of a crule joke at my expence*

Clerk: isle 3 next to serious sam

*the joke was defenitly on me*

Ian: NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOO!!!

*they were gone, there was nothing i could do. i never knew there were so many starwars fans...i felt like shooting the **** out of something.
two weeks later i started working at a local video game store h4X0rS kitchen where i got a strange phone call*

Voice: hello do you know who this is.

Ian: GOD!!?

Voice: no this is your old pal jacob. i want you to meet me at your store.

Ian: how do you know i work here.

Voice: i have my connections but mostly because im standing right behind you.

*jacob always was one for dramatics. he looked the same with his red headed curly hair that made him look like spike spiegal with glasses and hair dye*

Jacob: when are you going to work for me Ian.

*jacob was head of the SSS stoners secret service*

Ian: youde probley put me in some hell hole and make me steal reefer everyday besides i cant i got a family to take care of. see last joint its bad for the baby

*i put the joint out in a nearby ashtray*

Jacob: uh you dont have a baby

*i stupidly picked up the joint and lit it again*

Jacob: well i guess ill see you later

*jacob walked out the door and i went back to my work...someone has to play soulcalaber 2 while everyone works. later that day i got home to find my house empty. i dident like how the show started, i had gotten the best seat in the house, front row, center.*

Ian: honey im home...

*i saw a note on the table just sitting there. it almost looked hostle like watching a dark jedi look at you and twirl his lightsaber as he waits for you to make the first move. the note read as clear as day that i need to pay more attention*

Jamies note: hey ian im at that concert with grecia ill be back at 12:00 tonite love you...dont tell me that you dont remember i told you last night...dont look at me its not my fault you cant remember...chear up ill bring you a souviner.

*my wife thinks of everything.*

Ian:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOO OOOOO *cough chough....ehem* OOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOO!!!