View Full Version : shredded-human-flesh-milkshake

12-01-2003, 01:05 AM
If you could go back in time what when would you arrive and what would you do?

I'd go back to when my parents were conceiving me. I'd run into the bedroom, arms flailing, and spank my dad hard on the buttcheeks and scream "I'm your son from the future! HAHA!!!" then run, arms still flailing, out of the room, laughing like an idiot.

And you?

(yeah i copied Dane for that one.)

12-01-2003, 01:16 AM
I think I'd go back to right after I was born and strongly advise my mother to get a hysterectomy.


I'd probably go back to the point where I had my braces off, and then, disguised, threaten the thirteen-year-old me to ALWAYS wear her retainers...or...else. And I'd probably tell her not to get to know any of her neighbors beyond Shiv, because it's just flat not necessary. :dozey:

Orca Wail
12-01-2003, 01:25 AM

I go back and visit my kindergarden self. I'd walk up to me, tear the drawings out of her hands, and break her pencil.

She'd look at me and cry.
I'd say "THERE'S NO WAY I am going thru artist hell again in grammar school. Here, learn to dance around with these..."

I hand myself some pom-poms and a uber-short skirt.

...Naw. Artist hell was worth it.:)

I'd go back and screw with HG Well's mind.:D

And get Jules Verne to play DOTT...i wonder...

12-01-2003, 02:49 AM
I would go back in time to when my father had just conceived me(edit: ...what?), and I would tell him to take me off to a small, secluded island where no one lives. He would then train me in the arts of soccer (my sport), all musical instruments, and all fighting techniques. I would train for 23 hours all day every day for 16 years. I would have grown up thinking that everyone did this, and wouldn't think I was living a terrible life. When I would be released into the real world, I would be the perfect fighting/athletic/musical genious. I would then commence my fame-gathering process.

With alot of father's ass slapping. Yes.

12-01-2003, 04:38 PM
Isnt that Michael Jacksons life story?

12-01-2003, 05:40 PM
I would go back to 7th grade, and smack the sh*t out of my younger self, and force him at gunpoint to ask this girl julie out. ^^
not that it would have worked, but hey, I still regret never talking to her. but now, I am not an outcast/loser anymore, and we are friends....good friends...strangly enough....
Unfortunatly, I can never tell her I like her and have for years...hence......well...anyways....I would force myself to be popular, wear the right clothes, beat up the dumbasses that gave me a hard time back in jr. high......and..well....if I still didn't get the girl, I would stop my dad from being born. Thus cutting the line of losers short.

and no

I wouldnt slap his ass.

12-01-2003, 06:20 PM
I would go back to the beginning of this thread and totally point out that anyone who posts entirely in italics is not cool.

12-01-2003, 06:46 PM
That is so not true!!

12-01-2003, 07:52 PM
Yeah it is!


Yeah it is!

12-01-2003, 09:05 PM
I would go back to Wednesday night at the Spitalfield/Billy Talent concert and tell myself to not be dumb and give this guy I met my number. Or perhaps back to the Eve 6 show where I was guilty of the same thing.

12-01-2003, 09:49 PM
Originally posted by scabb
I would go back to the beginning of this thread and totally point out that anyone who posts entirely in italics is not cool.


I feel so alone.

12-02-2003, 03:30 PM
Mmmm, I would go back in time and not save the damn cat what was on our garage roof and broke my foot when I jumped off it.
Once I jumped down with the cat it then jumped back up on the roof.:D

12-02-2003, 05:42 PM
Go back about two hundred years and step on an ant. That ought to be a good one.

12-02-2003, 08:00 PM
Go back about two years and advise my then-younger self to stay at least three feet away from a certain friend at all times--or get my head slammed in a car door and front tooth broken, which ultimately resulted in an exceedingly painful crown, overly sensitive teeth, and a fear of any and all people who wish to poke dental equipment into my mouth.

I'd also advise my younger self to practice parallel parking more, so that I could have my driver's license now.

Maybe I'd go back a year and tell myself not to go out on that date with that...one guy who turned out to be a complete loser who made my life miserable for the rest of the year due to his stalker-like tendencies.

12-02-2003, 09:55 PM
What a title, you people are sick.....ha ha ha, only joking, it attracted me, thats a good thing right, oh hang on it could be a bad thing, hey what am I talking about, I really don't know, I feel a little screwed up at present.
Maybe I should go and find my little brain, thats if I can find it, oh boy what a mission to find my microscopic brain, mmm I think I spelled that right. never mind, anyway im off and going to stop talking crap.

I think.:confused:

12-02-2003, 10:28 PM
anyway im off and going to stop taking crack.


12-03-2003, 01:51 AM
I'd go to the dawn of time and open my very own shredded-human-flesh-milkshake stand. Then come back and collect the millions my company had created over years.

12-03-2003, 02:19 AM
I'd go back to a day before Hitler was conceived. I would then have sex with his mother, forcing her to be pregnant with my babies vs. with the real Hitler. My child would be basically the same guy, starting the same war, but would be able to hold his breath for 10 minutes. And instead of the Blitzkreig, he would have a team of Insult-Sword Fighting master.

The horror makes me wince in shame.

12-03-2003, 04:05 AM
i could go for some coca cola.

12-03-2003, 04:46 AM
Whoever writes my 'Post Subject' is gay. I wish he would just...shut up.

12-03-2003, 06:59 AM
I'd buy a lot of stock in Microsoft....

other than that I would kick my younger self and tell her to FLIPIN STAY IN COLLEGE or else!

12-03-2003, 04:50 PM
I'd go back and tell myself to do certain things and not do others. I probably wouldn't pay any attention to myself though.

12-04-2003, 06:54 AM
I would probably have told myself to entirely avoid dating anyone in my freshman year of college.

I guess.

Or maybe I'd go back in time to see what old-fashioned sailor/pirate life was really like, rather than the romanticized version. Then again, I may be better off this way.

12-04-2003, 09:26 AM
easy... last Saturday, do the lottery.
oh yeah, and give my father's ass a slap as well. seems thats compulsory.

12-04-2003, 12:47 PM
I'd go back 150 years and then present all now-known scientific facts, equations and such as my own inventions. Afterwards I'd live the rest of my life in immense praise and glory.

Yeah, Branik is back. Or at least tries to be. The YO-tests are closing in fast (kind of an equivalent to the SATs you americans love so much, but as I'm told, a bit more difficult) and so I've been cramming like hell. All those ****ing equations and grammar rules are coming out of my ears, I'm goin' nuts!

12-04-2003, 02:40 PM
Originally posted by Branik
I'd go back 150 years and then present all now-known scientifical facts, equations and such as my own inventions.
Like V2 rockets, nukes and Pop Idol?

12-04-2003, 06:49 PM
Originally posted by Alien426
Like V2 rockets, nukes and Pop Idol?

Yeah, and don't forget The Simpsons, US belligerence, starvation, AIDS, etc. No, seriously, quantum physics, genetic engineering, stuff like that. Or I could just go a few years back in my own life and tell myself to stop being such a wuss with the girls.

12-04-2003, 08:36 PM
I'd go back to yesterday and delete the "Headlong Hall" part of my address that I sent to somebody.

12-05-2003, 01:53 AM
I never had to take the SAT's here in the midwest we use the ACT's which are supposed to be easier. Life is good.

12-05-2003, 01:24 PM
I don't actually know what the SATs are that well, it was just an example, like A-Levels in Britain.

You did some other test? How's that possible?

Orca Wail
12-05-2003, 01:26 PM
Originally posted by Skinkie
I never had to take the SAT's here in the midwest we use the ACT's which are supposed to be easier. Life is good.
*smacks you*

12-05-2003, 10:09 PM
Someone around her gets to take both the ACT AND the SAT. AND took the PSAT a year early. He gets to take that again NEXT YEAR!


12-05-2003, 10:49 PM
Quite clearly, you yahoo.

12-06-2003, 04:29 AM
I took the PSAT, they told us the SAT is optional as all the colleges in this area only take the ACT scores anyway. Their not really that different, just different scoring techniques mostly. Like on the SAT if you get a question wrong they subtract from your positive score. ACTs you can guess all you want, and it can't hurt you negatively.

12-06-2003, 06:27 AM
Ok, now I'm confused. Could some of you yanks clear this out for me? How come you have several tests? Are they different level, overlapping, what? What do they consist of?

In where I come from, everybody does the YO-tests at the end of lukio (highschool). It includes finnish and at least 3 of the following:

Math (advanced or intermediate, up to you)
1 foreign language (most have chosen it to be english, like me)
"Real-test" (crappy translation, consists of all the other subjects besides languages and math, like biology, physics, history & social science, chemistry, philosophy, psychology, religion and geography)
And most of the important international languages, like german, french, russian, spanish and italian.

In the "real-test" you can choose which subjects' questions you answer. I'm going to concentrate on physics and history, and do finnish, swedish, english, german and math as well.

12-07-2003, 04:58 AM
Ok, there are two different tests you can take in high school to try to convince colleges to accept you. They are the ACT and the SAT. In some schools you can take the practice tests called the PLAN test or the PSATs late in your 2nd year or early in your 3rd year. They are just to give you some sense of what the real tests will be like, your scores on them have no actual bearing.

The ACT is used primarily by colleges in the mid-west and I think the east cost. It's broken up into sections of English, Math, Reading, Science & Reasoning. The score is figured by adding the number you have correct. Wrong answers don't count against you. There's time limits for each section, and many people have trouble finishing in the time, and it is encouraged to guess to hopefully get some last points right. Your total score is figured to give you a number up to 36. around 18 being standard for many college admissions.

The SAT is used by colleges in the west and maybe more, not really sure. I never took this oneso I don't know as much about it, but I took the practice one so I'll give it a shot. It's broken done similarly into categories wach with a time limit. However here the scoring is done something like 1 point for every right answer, 0 points for an unanswered question and -1/4 points for every wrong answer. People taking it are encouraged not to answer questions they don't know the answer to or don't have time to answer before time is up(no guessing). Scores are given in like the 4000s or something, this I really have no idea about, and could be wrong about. Somebody help me out.

12-07-2003, 07:13 AM
Reading and science & reasoning? Sounds a wee bit easy. And by the looks of it, I'd guess you have multiple choice questions, right? If it's so, I should be envious, since we don't have any. In here it's essays everywhere, in every subject ("Analyze the language used by Jean-Paul Sartre in the following excerpt." or "Kirchhoff laws", stuff like that). Try writing 8 of them in 6 hours.

Darth Groovy
12-07-2003, 08:12 AM
I'd go back to your last birthday and shoot you in the face with a bazooka. If possible, I'd keep going back to the same moment, and do it all over again, repeatedly until it was all of out of my system...

12-07-2003, 03:31 PM
You live in Toilet, IL.

Darth Groovy
12-07-2003, 07:43 PM
Originally posted by Ernil
You live in Toilet, IL.

Whoa, that was hilarious...

Hey, LOOK AT THIS! (http://www.themanipulation.com/room.jpg)

12-07-2003, 11:33 PM
Humor? No no. Merely thinking. I'm quite envious.

Are you Reegan Pufall?

EDIT: Has anyone else noticed the name of this thread?

12-08-2003, 01:48 AM
i'm regan pufall.