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View Full Version : Last Line in RotK (Parody)


Boba Rhett
12-09-2003, 09:01 AM
OK, here's how this works, make up the funniest ending line/scene you can for RotK. I'll give some examples:


1.Frodo and Sam make it to the heart of Mordor, where they discover tin-faced Doctor Doom waiting for them, stripped from the waist down, bent over and peering over his shoulder at them sheepishly. With heavy hearts they both soon realise that, "Mount Doom" was not a location, but a command.

2. Pippin: "You know? I wonder whatever happened that evil old Saruman?"

Merry: "Who?"

3. "Frodo: I'm about to throw the ring in, Sam. Any last words?
Sam: Yes, Mr. Frodo. Let me see that ring before you toss it in. I've never gotten to even hold it.
Frodo: Here you go...
Sam: Sucker! Now I shall rule all of Middle-Earth!"

Samwise rules the land with malice and spite forever more.

4. Legolas: "What are you going to do now Aragorn that you are the true King of all men?"
Aragorn: "Gandolf, or maybe Merry and Pippen. It's good to be the king."

5. Sam: "After all we've been through Frodo, do you know what the best thing is?"
Frodo: "What might that be, Sam?"
Sam: "I just saved a ****-load of money by switching to Geico!"

6. Aragorn finally answers the age old question as to whether elf booty got soul, in a 25 minute sweaty sexcapade featuring Aragorn, Arwen, Galadriel, Merry, Pippin and twenty three gallons of lime Jello.

7. Unnamed Orc: "DAMN, Hobbit tastes good!

8. Aragorn: "Tell me Eowyn... are you at all familiar with the term... Mènage A Trois?"


Ok, now your turn. :D Annnnnnd GO!

XERXES
12-09-2003, 09:26 AM
And as Frodo, Sam and Gollum walked up the path into the firey chasm of Mt. Doom...a white hot light is searing out of the mountain...with his eyes shielded Sam helps Frodo into the mountain of doom.

Once they enter...a strange figure appears before them. The figure becomes more clear and is shaped like a man with splendid white robes draped all over him and flowing in the wind. He has a white crown uppon his head which seems to gleam with sunlight. Before anything else happened the thing spoke "My children, behold for I am Manwë, the Lord of the Breath of Arda. Hand the ring over to me and I shall see that in the halls of Taniquetil it will be forever guarded until we decide to pass it out to an unnamed human and let him have fun with it. Thank you for your troubles have a nice day."

*Frodo and Sam both recieve 400000 xp*

Frodo: WOOHOO level 40!!!! Immune to disease and posion, hide in plain sight...hell yes you know this is going to rule right Sam?

Sam: damn it...I rolled a 1 for HP. *calls out* Manwë, can I re-roll for HP?

Manwë: NO!

Sam: damn it.

Gollum: WTF NO FAIR, I DIDNT GET ANY XP!!! *slips and falls into mt doom's firey pit*


SERVER: Server is reseting in 5 minnutes, you have 5 minnutes to log out completely, all your characters will be lost, everything is lost and reset back to how it was before The Hobbit took palce. We are accepting accplications for main characters starting now, goodluck.

Darth Rythe
12-09-2003, 09:28 AM
Sam: Ok, I want to throw in the ring, give it to me frodo

Frodo Umm.....

Sam You have got the Ring? Please tell me you have the ring?

Frodo Umm... it has to be here somewhere.

Sam Oh, ****!!!

Pie™
12-09-2003, 05:54 PM
Originally posted by Chase Windu
http://istari.dyndns.org/~henke/rotk/sam8.jpg
Sam:Oh baby! Mr. Frodo, you're hot.

(you have to look at the pic to get it.) :rofl::lol: hehe :D

wassup
12-10-2003, 01:52 AM
*ROTK SPOILERS AHEAD!!*



















http://istari.dyndns.org/~henke/rotk/frodosam12.jpg
Sam: Oh isn't this the most romantic place Mr. Frodo. The smoldering rocks, the choking ash, the burning sun...
Frodo: Oh Sam, kiss me.

http://istari.dyndns.org/~henke/rotk/elrond2.jpg
(Hmm...does this need to be put into words? :eyeraise: )

Rumor
12-10-2003, 02:13 AM
lol i roffl'd on all of those.

Darth Rythe
12-10-2003, 10:00 AM
Frodo: Woops, I droped the ring in the the lava!!!

Sam: Don't worry Mr Frodo, i'll get it.

STTCT
12-10-2003, 10:13 AM
Well...I know what would definately be funny

If Sam and Frodo Finnally made the 3 hour journey to get rid of the ring -

Cue to pitch black

"To Be Continued"

hahahahahahahahahah




*gets stoned to death

Darth Rythe
12-10-2003, 10:22 AM
Actuall STTCT, I've been told that, they might be making 'The Hobbit'

Sivy
12-10-2003, 10:46 AM
why is that a spoiler? :D

i think return of the king should finish like this..



the ring is about to be destroyed when Frodo and Sam see a blinding white light.. suddenly they find themselves standing in a room surrounded by monitors..

Architect: Hello Frodo
Frodo: Who are you?
Architect: I am the Architect. I created the ring. I have been waiting for you. You have many questions and although the process has altered your consciousness you remain irrevocably human, ergo some of my answers you will understand and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question maybe the most pertinent you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.
Frodo: Why am I here?
Architect: Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent in the programming of the ring. You are the eventuality of an anomaly which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden deciduously avoided it is not unexpected and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you inexcerably here?
Frodo: You haven¡'t answered my question.
Architect: Quite right. Interesting, that was quicker then the others.
Frodo: Others?
Architect: The ring is older then you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next. In which case this is the sixth version.
Frodo: Then there are only two possible explanations, either no one told me, or no one knows.
Architect: Precisely, as you are undoubtedly gathering the anomaly is systemic. Creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations.
Frodo: Choice, the problem is choice.
Architect: The first ring I designed was quite naturally perfect; it was a work of art, flawless, sublime. A triumph equaled only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being. Thus, I redesigned it, Based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature. However I was again frustrated my failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus the answer was stumbled upon by another and intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the father of the ring, she would undoubtedly be its mother.
Frodo: Galadriel?
Architect: Please, as I was saying she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99 percent of all test subjects accepted the program as long as they were given a choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at an unconscious level. While this answered function it was obviously fundamentally flawed thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly. That if left unchecked might threaten the system itself, ergo those that refuse the program while the minority if unchecked would cause an escalating probability of disaster.
Frodo: This is about the shire
Architect: You are here because the shire is about to be destroyed. Its every living inhabitant terminated, its entire existence eradicated.
Frodo: hobbit poo!!
Architect: Denial is the most predictable of all human responses. Your 5 predecessors were by design based on a similar predication a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species facilitating the function of the ring bearer. While the others experienced this in a very general way your experience is far more specific, Vis a vie love.
Frodo: Sam
Architect: Apropo, which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed and the anomaly revealed as both beginning and end. There are two doors, the door to your right leads to the source and the salvation of the shire, the door to your left leads to the destruction of the rings and the end of your species. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know we you are going to do don't we? Already I can see the chain reaction the chemical precursors that signal the onset of an emotion designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason. An emotion that is already blinding you from the simple and obvious truth. Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.
Frodo: If I were you, I would hope that we don't meet again.
Architect: We won't.

Darth Rythe
12-10-2003, 10:59 AM
Because some people might not want to see what I typed.

Not so, I lie. I wanted to see if I knew how to do the spoiler thingi.

Darth Eggplant
12-10-2003, 11:28 AM
Sam and Frodo walk into a fissure in the side of Mount Doom
they walk through a tunnel towards a firey ledge, at the edge
of the ledge they find 2 Polynesian men in large colourful head dress, both of which are drinking Orange Crush. They see Sam and Frodo approach, and one of the Polynesian men wipes his mouth with his hand, and looks at Frodo, and then trepidatiously he asks:
"are you Joe?...Joe Banks?"

Druid Bremen
12-10-2003, 12:07 PM
Originally posted by wassup
*ROTK SPOILERS AHEAD!!*



















http://istari.dyndns.org/~henke/rotk/frodosam12.jpg
Sam: Oh isn't this the most romantic place Mr. Frodo. The smoldering rocks, the choking ash, the burning sun...
Frodo: Oh Sam, kiss me.

http://istari.dyndns.org/~henke/rotk/elrond2.jpg
(Hmm...does this need to be put into words? :eyeraise: )


Rofl.

Alegis
12-10-2003, 12:13 PM
Before Sam and Frodo entered Mt Doom, they saw a ring shop right in front of it.

XERXES
12-10-2003, 07:05 PM
everything ends and you see one more scene...

Sauron: Damn it, I'll just have to make another ring then *sigh* good thing I wrote the directions down.

BawBag™
12-10-2003, 08:04 PM
Woah Siv.............. :D

DarkLord60
12-10-2003, 10:03 PM
Originally posted by wassup
*ROTK SPOILERS AHEAD!!*



















http://istari.dyndns.org/~henke/rotk/frodosam12.jpg
Sam: Oh isn't this the most romantic place Mr. Frodo. The smoldering rocks, the choking ash, the burning sun...
Frodo: Oh Sam, kiss me.

http://istari.dyndns.org/~henke/rotk/elrond2.jpg
(Hmm...does this need to be put into words? :eyeraise: )

LoL those are great but where did you get those pics.

wassup
12-11-2003, 12:28 AM
Originally posted by DarkLord60
LoL those are great but where did you get those pics.

Here. (http://istari.dyndns.org/~henke/rotk)
(MAJOR SPOILERS)

Darth Rythe
12-11-2003, 07:30 AM
He wont die, I don't think