View Full Version : How about some humour?

12-15-2003, 10:23 PM
I was just thinking, I haven't posted a thread in a loooooooong time, so I searched for some worthwhile material.
Beware , maybe. :p

Condom Slogans
# Cover your stump before you hump.
# Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.
# Don't be silly, protect your willy.
# When in doubt, shroud your spout.
# Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
# You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong.
# If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
# If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
# If you slip between her thighs, condomize.
# It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
# She won't get sick, if you wrap your dick.
# If you go into heat, package your meat.
# While your undressing venus, dress up your penis.
# When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse.
# Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
# Never ever deck her, with an unwraped pecker.
# Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
# The right selection, is to protect your erection.
# Wrap it in foil, before checking her oil.
# A crank with armor, will never harm her.
# If you really love her, wear a cover.
# Don't make a mistake, cover your snake.
# Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.
# If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.
# No glove, No love.

Ok, and there's been condom jokes like this but now it's viagra, I guess.
Consider a merger of VIAGRA with:

AT&T whose motto is "Reach out and touch someone".

or Burger King - "Home of the WHOPPER"

You get the idea.

Here are some more:

Chevrolet - "Like a ROCK".

Energizer Batteries - "Keeps on going, and going, and going......."

U.S. Army - "Be all that you can be".

Don't forget McDonald's, where you can "Supersize for just $0.39".

MCI can give a new twist to their "Friends and Family" circles.

With Timex, it "Takes a licking and keeps on ticking".

Les Schwab Tires offers "Free Beef".

Surge pop says "Feel the rush".

VISA - "It's everywhere you want to be".

IBM provides "Solutions for a small planet"

With Allstate Insurance, "You're in good hands".

The Marines are "Looking for a few good men".

AM/PM minimart boasts "Too much good stuff".

Nostalgia: "When man finds the past perfect, and the present tense"

All found at:


Anyone wanna add anything?

12-15-2003, 10:27 PM
beat? what do you mean you'll be beat me?


12-15-2003, 11:10 PM
Yes Burger. Humor at it's most valuable.

12-15-2003, 11:23 PM
beat you? What are you talking about? *Rereads my post* :p

<Edit: When I had copied and pasted I only got part of the condom slogans because I was pasting them bit by bit on IRC or it would disconnect me for flooding, but I added the rest I forgot>