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Boba Rhett
01-15-2004, 04:13 AM
Fake.. but funny! Everyone remember this if you ever fill something out. :D

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is . . . no.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.


lol :D

WolfmanNCSU
01-15-2004, 07:21 PM
Damn it, I should have put that on my applications here. Then maybe I might be getting that requested salary. :D

Darth Homer
01-15-2004, 10:28 PM
I'm seriously thinking about grabbing an app to McD's and fill it out according to the blue print... :D

Compa_Mighty
01-18-2004, 12:17 AM
That's hilarious Rhett.

Hermie
01-18-2004, 02:05 AM
:rofl:

Snafu7
01-19-2004, 05:57 PM
lol, that's hilarious

Sivy
01-20-2004, 12:49 PM
:lol:

and heres the letter he probably got back....

Dear Sir:
Congratulations! You got the job! That is probably what you were hoping this letter would say. But it doesn't, because you didn't.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department

or maybe

Dear Sir:
A few days ago, you phoned us about the job you applied for with our company, and we told you that you did not get the job. However, we are now writing to inform you that you did not get the job. We wanted to make sure you understood that.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department

last but by no means least...


Dear Sir:
It has come to our attention that an employee in our department has been sending you unauthorized and inappropriate letters. We have told him not only that he is fired but that we are hiring you in his place. He left here in an uproar, swearing that he was "going to find (you) and crush (your) head like a walnut." (Some of us think he said "like a peanut," but most think he said "walnut.") If he shows up at your apartment, please explain to him that we were just kidding; we would never hire you.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department


:D

Sam Fisher
01-20-2004, 10:02 PM
Haha, another funny thing by Rhett:P