View Full Version : I rock, here is a list of why.

02-18-2004, 01:20 AM
- It's my birthday Sunday

- I'm ranked Number 4 overall in my class, and Number 1 amongst all males

- At the aforementioned Birthday I get to hang out at cool places all day on other people's money

- I get to speak at an assembly about standardized testing on Friday, and here is my speech in its whole:

Good morning, I hope you are enjoying yourself during this gathering. Now, Mr. Scott (The Principal) wanted a student perspective on this whole AIMS (Arizona Institude to Measure Standards) thing, and he wanted a Student Council member. And since the Moreno twins (The two people ahead of me on the Student Council chain of command, both named 'Moreno') seem to have gone AWOL, youíre stuck with me.

Now you probably arenít asking, ďGee Chuck, whatís your secret to test taking and all that wonderful stuff?Ē Well, to be honest, there isnít one. Standardized tests are like any other tests, except they have the word ďstandardizedĒ in front of it. The only other difference I can think of is the fact that your AIMS and CCSA (Some test you take as a Freshman) and whatnot have bubbly things that you can fill it, but I really hope you know how to do that already. If you donít, you have my sympathy.

Now the lawmakers in our wonderful state (Arizona) seem to love the standardized test concept, and until we vote them out for more progressive ones, weíre stuck with this. But donít worry; itís only a test that you freshmen and sophomores have to pass to graduate. Not that Iím rubbing it in. Despite all the awful things you read about the AIMS, such as people complaining that you have to have a 200 IQ to pass it or that some kid broke their leg while taking it, you heard it first from me: ITíS NOT THAT HARD! AND YOU CAN TAKE IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

Not that Iím saying you should blow off the AIMS. I mean, if you do that, youíll have to take it again, and you donít want that. Wouldnít you rather get it one and done over with? Wouldnít you rather only spend one time in a classroom for hours on end taking a test instead of two or three? I sure would, but Iím not you.

This is not a test of the emergency broadcast system! This is not a drill! Donít fret over the AIMS, despite what your local doomsayers say in their doom-like way. This may seem like sacrilege that Iím telling you this, but in my mind, it is true. Donít let anxiety over the AIMS overwhelm you because THERE IS NONE! ďHistory will be kind to me for I intend to write it!Ē Winston Churchill once said. And while that soaks in, Iím gonna go over here *point to left of stage*

Like Ashton Kutcher, I am awesome!

Darth Homer
02-18-2004, 04:46 AM
I notice a distinct lack of ninjas in your report. Put in more ninjas.

02-18-2004, 11:26 AM
What'd you say....

Oh and

Wouldnít you rather get it one and done over with?

correctly speaking

done and over with

Just making sure your speech notes in check...

I agree more ninjas

02-18-2004, 01:04 PM
There will be a John Woo-esque ninja fight in the background while I deliver the speech, this much has been promised to me.

02-18-2004, 01:22 PM
female ninjas fighting in mud right?

happy birthday for sunday :cheers:

Ray Jones
02-18-2004, 02:54 PM
Originally posted by Siv
female ninjas fighting in mud right?

where is the "naked" or "bikini"word?


02-19-2004, 09:29 AM

Can we have a nearly naked Cabana Boy fanning the naked girls while they mud wrestle in the background with Ninjas?

Darth Homer
02-20-2004, 08:20 PM

*runs over Cliff*

*appologizes to Cliff, then runs far away*

02-20-2004, 08:58 PM
I gave said speech today. I made one revision: instead of "broke their leg" I changed it to "was possesed by the devil", which got a huge laugh. I have a nice Stalin-esque following now :D

02-22-2004, 12:21 AM
I remember when you were considering suicide, Clefo. Luckily, like a true friend, I was there when you needed me. I always told you things would get better, and lookie here, they did!!

j/k (maybe that was in bad taste and wasn't funny at all - oh well)

Happy Birthday, d00d. You must be turning *GASP* 17!

02-22-2004, 01:22 AM
Rommel, long time no see. Congrats Clefo, glad everything is turning out so great.

*Maybe each one of us should make a thread about why we are so great, don't you think? :D *

Darth Homer
02-22-2004, 02:25 AM
Originally posted by Clefo
I gave said speech today. I made one revision: instead of "broke their leg" I changed it to "was possesed by the devil", which got a huge laugh. I have a nice Stalin-esque following now :D

See? Right there, perfect opportunity for Ninjas! You coulda put in "was attacked by Test-Ninjas" or just regular ninjas...*sigh* another ninja opportunity missed...

02-23-2004, 12:18 AM
Dude! Stop the presses! Rommel posted twice in ONE day! This is unheard of! Welcome back you ole lurker!

And Happy Birthday and congrats on the Stalinesque following Clefo! :D

03-02-2004, 06:35 PM
Well, I am going to have to agree with the majority...

More ninjas.