View Full Version : A skit, revel!

03-10-2004, 12:51 AM
Hi kids and legal adults! I'd thought I'd share a peice of drama I wrote for my school. You see on April 7 (Or so) my school is having a "Service Learning Celebration" for, well, Service Learning, and they asked the Drama Club to write a play, and I jumped on the opportunity. The end result is this:

(Note: I'm the only male character and I play "Reporter 1")

Service Learning Skit
By Charlie Gebow
With Help From: The Drama Club, but especially: Kenna, Heather, Emma, and Katja.

Anchor 1
Anchor 2
Field Reporter 1-3
Weather Person/Sports Person

(Scene: Atypical News Desk, the two anchors sit and the broadcast starts, The others are off on some corner of the stage, they’ll step forward when they speak)

Anchor 1: Good morning, and welcome to Channel 5.5 news, I’m Anchor 1 alongside Anchor 2

Anchor 2: Our topic today: Service Learning. Does it provide students with a better understanding of the world around them, or is it just another liberal pyramid scheme designed to fuel the Free Masons with their needed supplies for world domination?

(Anchor 1 is staring at Anchor 2 dumbfounded the whole time, then shakes head)

Anchor 1: Before we get to that, let’s check on our weather with The Weather Person!

Weather Person: (spaces out for a few seconds) Oh! Well, it might rain it might not. It might be hot it might not. Go step outside if you’re really that interested, schmuck.

Anchor 1: (Looking at Weather incredulously) Well, That was informative, but now lets go out to Reporter 1 who is currently standing in the Multi-Purpose-Room of Howenstine High Magnet School, Reporter 1 how’s it going there?

Reporter 1: I’m standing here right here in a throng of disciples learning about their service, or something. Later I will be getting an interview from someone. For now, I will attempt not to be engulfed by these learners. Back to you.

Anchor 2: (holding ear as if something coming through on an earpiece) This just in, No I still won’t go out with you, Reporter 1.

Reporter 1: Don’t say its over, baby!

Anchor 2: “Over”? It never started! You’ve been bothering me for months about this. Face it; I don’t like you in that way. Sure , I’d have liked to stay friends, but you just kept pushing it!

Reporter 1: One date?

Anchor 2: No!

Reporter 1: (Pauses, looks down then darkly) I didn’t want to have to resort to this, but I guess I have to. (To offstage) Cue the music!

Anchor 2: (To offstage) Cut his mic!

Reporter 1: (Singing Badly) I want you to want me… I need you to need me… I’d love you to love me… (Gets cut off)

Anchor 2: (Sighs)

Anchor 1: Anyway… Let’s go to the Sports person for the latest scores and stuff

Sports Person: Muhammad Ali scored a knockout on Ronald Regan in a nursing home yesterday, Mr. Colby still doesn’t understand the “Pace Car” concept, Latvia beat Andorra 10-4 in the “Obscure European Countries Curling League”, and George Steinbrenner has annexed New Jersey, Rhode Island, and Vermont with the intent that they will play for the Yankees. (Starts looking up at the sky blankly)

Anchor 2: We now go to Reporter 2, stationed somewhere in Siberia and is coming to us live via videophone. Reporter 2, how’s it going?

(Enter Reporter 2, who wearing a heavy coat and is visibly shaking from the ‘cold’)

Reporter 2: Hard to say, I lost feeling in my left leg about an hour ago, I had to eat my cameraman to survive. I’ve fought off quite a few Yeti in my quest for survival. All in all a grim situation.

Anchor 1: Tell us, how does Service Learning affect that region of the world?

(Reporter 2 starts getting angry)

Reporter 2: You send me out here in the middle of nowhere, I have about three hours left to live, and you want to know about service learning? I bet the Russians around here don’t even have service learning; they’re probably concerned about not freezing to death. I hope you’re expensive electrical equipment in your cushy heated studio short circuits and water gets poured on you somehow. That will make me happy you….

(Reporter 2 is cut off and exits)

Anchor 2: We seem to be having some technical problems with Reporter 2; we’ll get back to her later in the show. (Laughs nervously), but with that, let’s go to commercial.

(They pause for a second, then relax, enter Producer)

Anchor 1: How do you think we’ve done so far?

Producer: Well it’s good, and people should be watching but there is one problem.

Anchor 2: And that is?

Producer: Well, you haven’t talked about Service Learning in itself; all you’ve done is mention the phrase then talk about something else. The people have a right to know what it is, how it benefits people, that sort of thing.

Anchor 1: I see what you mean, instead of sensationalizing; we just get to the point!

Producer: Exactly! You’ll benefit your target demographic that way (Motions towards the audience)

Anchor 2: Can we pull random facts out of thin air?

Producer: I don’t think that’s very professional…

Anchor 2: Why not? A random chart makes people pay attention more.

Producer: No!

Anchor 2: Come on, Bill O’Reilly does it all the time, and people love him.

Producer: (looks deep in thought) Oh fine, fudge it.

Anchor 1: We’re on in 5.

(Exit Producer, the ‘broadcast’ comes back on)

Anchor 2: Service Learning, it can cure 90% of most fatal diseases, it can substitute for butter in many recipes, and is the focal point of many third world religions, but what is it? Our Reporter 3 has more.

(Enter Reporter 3)

Reporter 3: "Service-learning means a method under which students learn and develop through thoughtfully-organized service that is conducted in and meets the needs of a community and is coordinated with an institution of higher education, and with the community; helps foster civic responsibility; is integrated into and enhances the academic curriculum of the students enrolled; and includes structured time for students to reflect on the service experience." I assure you I wrote that (Eyes shift)

Now, from the volume of big words in there, you know it’s important, but it doesn’t really explain anything about it, but I’m standing here with someone involved in a process at HHMS.

(For the interviews, I think we should follow the following line of question, or something similar:
“What does your Service Learning group do?
“How did your project get started?”
”How does this benefit you personally?”
“Would you recommend this project for someone else, why or why not?”
Reporter 1: Do you think Anchor 2’s playing hard to get?
Reporter 2: Isn’t it ironic that we’re both out here?
Reporter 3: "I don't understand the creative process. Actually, I make a concerted effort not to understand it. I don't know what it is or how it works but I am terrified that one green morning it will decide not to work anymore, so I have always given it as wide a bypass as possible." Am I a genius or what?)

(After first interview)

Anchor 2: Well, let’s mosey on to…

(Producer barges in)

Producer: Mosey? CUT! That was awful, do it again!

(Anchor 1 and 2 look at each other)

Anchor 1: Uh, Chief, we’re live.

(Producer looks at the audience)

Producer: (Throws hands up in the air) Oh crap! (Starts walking off stage)

Producer: (mumbling) This sucks.

(Before Reporter 1’s first interview)

Reporter 1: (Still singing) Didn’t I, Didn’t I, Didn’t I see you crying? (Realizes he’s on) Ummm.. Yeah I’m here with

(After another interview)

(Producer enters)

Producer: (While pacing) I’m surrounded by idiots! I’m surrounded by idiots! (ad nasuem)

Anchor 1: Boy, Service Learning is an important step in our educational process, and can help students prepare for the future, eh?

Anchor 2: I guess.

Anchor 1: “You guess?” didn’t you find our reporters informative?

Anchor 2: Aside from the fact that one of them is the world’s biggest plagiarist, one can’t buy a clue, and wolves have probably eaten the last by now, I’d say they were informative.

Anchor 1: That’s all the time we have today so…

(The whole cast assembles)

Anchor 1: From all of us…

Anchor 2: To you…

Sports/Weather: We hope you found this service learning report…

Producer: …Informative and witty.

Reporter 1: Hope you enjoy…

Reporter 3: The rest of the festivities today, and have a good day

Reporter 2: Help; don’t forget about me, I’m still out here and freezing!

(The rest look at Reporter 2, then laugh heartily)

Producer: That’s a wrap!


03-15-2004, 01:53 AM
It looks like you've got a career in the leading edge of humor-writing from what I've just read Clefo. Seriously. Reminds me alot of the humor stylings of a friend of mine who went of to college. Alot foy uo knew him as Chuckles the Wonder Wampa who would briefly possess my computer and write random things on the message boards.

Very well done, but it could use a ninja reference. :cool:

Darth Homer
03-15-2004, 02:33 AM
Originally posted by Artoo
Very well done, but it could use a ninja reference. :cool:

EVERYTHING could use ninja references! :D

"And thus did Itazawa, the black ninja under orders from Bilbo, smite the dragon Smaug."

See? How cool is that?? :p