View Full Version : You might be a LucasArts employee if...

04-09-2004, 01:13 PM
Okay, I'm gonna give it a go with some LucasArts bashing here. You have probably heard jokes like this before. Let's see how many we can come up with.

If you like fiscal analysis, you might be a LucasArts employee.

04-09-2004, 02:16 PM
...If you like cancelling decent games, you might be a LucasArts employee!

04-09-2004, 02:21 PM
If you love making children cry, you might be a LucasArts employee.

04-09-2004, 02:55 PM
If you love developing games set in space with no plot or decent gameplay whatsoever, you might be a LucasArts employee.

04-09-2004, 03:10 PM
Hey wait, despite cancelling Sam and Max, I still applied for an internship at LEC.

I mean, they're still a cool company...sort of?

04-09-2004, 03:35 PM
If you still believe LucasArts is still a cool company, you might be a desperate intern.... wait...

04-09-2004, 05:16 PM
You might be a LucasArts employee if...

you're feeling unappreciated, unsatisfied and suspect your new boss is Satan.

04-09-2004, 08:03 PM
You might be a LucasArts employee if...

... you suck.
... you haven't resigned yet
... you are too loyal and faithful to your company that ****s in your face.
... you havent got it yet that you are making a mistake to stick around.
... not above applies, you cum watching the Star Wars movies and yerk off to Leia.

04-09-2004, 09:21 PM
You might be a LucasArts employee if you work at the LucasArts building in California.

This game is fun :D

Hold on...

04-10-2004, 11:02 AM
If you think Mike Nelson is sexy, you might be a LucasArts employee.

Well I'm glad you like it :)

04-10-2004, 01:14 PM
..if you think the real secret of monkey island is a giant monkey robot

04-10-2004, 01:49 PM
You might be Mike Nelson if...

...you don't think there's enough Star Wars games already on the market.
...you enjoy pulling a game from production a few months before its release.
...you don't mind alienating two decades worth of hard-core fans.
...you're secretly working for another software company and are trying to take down LucasArts from the inside.
...you don't find Sam N Max funny and refreshingly different.
...you enjoy torturing small animals.
...you get an erection when you think about money.
...everyone in the company you head up hates your guts.
...there's several hate threads on previous LucasArts fan sites mentioning your name.
...you've just cancelled Sam N Max 2.

04-10-2004, 04:32 PM
You might work for Lucasarts' sales department if.....

...you like locking yourself in a small room and ignoring what's going on in the outside world with fans
...you feel happy and proud when you eradicate your loyal fan base
...you think any game in space will sell (hence allowing RTX to ship)
...you're idea of "what people buy" is so warped that a game called "Dead Mouse" which comes with a dead mouse, will be a hit seller!
...you think adventures are too complicated for your own low IQ and therefore must be cancelled, because people only enjoy plot-less mind-less FPS games.
...you worship Mike Nelson and his "wise decisions"
...you like to make stupid decisions, thinking that there will be no consequences
...you say "Boycotts? They can't do anything!" with pride.
...you're Hitler or Osama Bin Laden or Lenin or Mike Nelson, all of which equally evil

04-10-2004, 04:55 PM
You might be a LucasArts employee if... you don't find this (http://wwhs.fangames.co.uk) amusing.

04-10-2004, 05:25 PM
If you wash your hands with vinegar, you're a LucasArts employee

04-10-2004, 10:09 PM
If you keep trying to sneak an application for another job, but keep getting caught.

04-10-2004, 11:38 PM
... your check stub says "Lucasfilm, LTD." on it.

04-12-2004, 04:29 PM
You might be a Lucasarts Project Leader if the game you're working on actually needs about another three months worth of work and the vp's decide to ship it tomorrow anyway.

04-12-2004, 05:19 PM
...If you wake up in the morning and cry to yourself saying "I don't want to create a model for another ****ing at-at"

...If your reflection in a mirror causes you to question yourself, and question why in the Lords name they cancelled that Sam n Max 2 game you slaved for MONTHS on

04-12-2004, 07:35 PM
If you have no size perception (COUGHgalacticbattlegroundsCOUGH)