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Kain
08-24-2004, 03:22 AM
Well, I just wasted 2 hours watching this movie called Doppelganger, and let me tell you, I have no idea whats going anymore.

Anyone else seen this abomonation of motion pictures?

What movies do you all hate?


Expand your Imagi-Nation

KBell
08-24-2004, 03:25 AM
I rented Godsend last night, and it was God-awful.

Tyrion
08-24-2004, 03:55 AM
Those weird moveis you see on the Disney Channel. Aside from that, a pretty bad movie I saw lately was Manchurian Canidate...

Evil Dark Jedi
08-24-2004, 04:39 AM
I really hate Freddy vs Jason.All they did (they as in the makers of the movie)was face 2 horror movie characters against each other.

RpTheHotrod
08-24-2004, 04:47 AM
Dreamcatcher.....awful......awful film. That one new "lake" film..forgot the name.....which had nothing to do with a lake...but about a murder mystery where the dad wants revenge on his daughter's murder..........boring..drawn out...pointless....not to mention....awful ending....

Tyrion
08-24-2004, 04:56 AM
Originally posted by RpTheHotrod
Dreamcatcher.....awful......awful film. That one new "lake" film..forgot the name.....which had nothing to do with a lake...but about a murder mystery where the dad wants revenge on his daughter's murder..........boring..drawn out...pointless....not to mention....awful ending....

Cabin Fever?

RpTheHotrod
08-24-2004, 05:28 AM
No..the name is... something something Lake.......or something. Some Mafia dad's daughter dies and the dad wants revenge and...

thinks it's one of his childhood friend's that he grew up with for like 20 years, and kills him...to find out the next morning the "killer" was actually a bunch of kids who was playing with a gun and accidentally shot his daughter

Druid Bremen
08-24-2004, 06:19 AM
Originally posted by RpTheHotrod
No..the name is... something something Lake.......or something. Some Mafia dad's daughter dies and the dad wants revenge and...

thinks it's one of his childhood friend's that he grew up with for like 20 years, and kills him...to find out the next morning the "killer" was actually a bunch of kids who was playing with a gun and accidentally shot his daughter

Wtf.. Already it sounds boring.

Tyrion
08-24-2004, 06:30 AM
Originally posted by RpTheHotrod
No..the name is... something something Lake.......or something. Some Mafia dad's daughter dies and the dad wants revenge and...

thinks it's one of his childhood friend's that he grew up with for like 20 years, and kills him...to find out the next morning the "killer" was actually a bunch of kids who was playing with a gun and accidentally shot his daughter

Ohh, Mystic Lake? I didn't see the movie, but I read the first chapter of the book.

Lightsaberboy
08-24-2004, 06:38 AM
three words:

You.

got.

Served.


*shudders*

Sabretooth
08-24-2004, 07:03 AM
Saving Private Ryan. No, I don't say that it was a bad movie, just, I failed to understand it. :indif:

Icemaniax
08-24-2004, 07:26 AM
Originally posted by Sabretooth
Saving Private Ryan. No, I don't say that it was a bad movie, just, I failed to understand it. :indif:

teh?

I thought it was a wonderful movie.

Evil Dark Jedi
08-24-2004, 07:28 AM
Originally posted by Sabretooth
Saving Private Ryan. No, I don't say that it was a bad movie, just, I failed to understand it. :indif:

I have never seen it but ive heard of it.

edlib
08-24-2004, 08:23 AM
"Mystic River" is the movie you are all looking for. I didn't think it was terrible,.. just overrated.

Titanic was the worst movie of all time. Period.

The fact that it also happens to be the biggest-grossing movie of all time as well just goes to show you why such awful movies keep getting made.

My favorite "Ed Wood-ian movie that is just so very bad that it's great" award goes to a really terrible piece of film called "Road Games"
It stars Stacey Keach and a very young Jamie Lee Curtis,.. and if you ever find it get all your friends together to watch it!

HEY! I just found out it's now on DVD!!!! COOL!!! Get it!!!!!!!!!

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000844JR/102-2221864-8536152?v=glance#product-details

:joy:

Astrotoy7
08-24-2004, 08:32 AM
Originally posted by Sabretooth
Saving Private Ryan. No, I don't say that it was a bad movie, just, I failed to understand it. :indif:

pfft ! what kind of a general are you :p !

in a nutshell, Saving Private Ryan is about the horrors of war and a tribute to the generation of brave men and womenwho served their countries in WW2 !

* * *
Horrible movies :
*Any of those stoopid Martin Lawrence movies.... Black Knight my a$$ :p

*chick movies : say it isnt so, bring it on, all that shyte

mtfbwya

Crazy_dog no.3
08-24-2004, 09:03 AM
Ha! You guys don't know bad until you've seen the pile of sh*t known as ....

CALIGULA


I came across this in my parents porn collection(!) when I was around 14(!!). I heard that this was meant to be the worst movie of all time, Ebert says it's the only movie he's ever walked out of, it was supposed to be filled with hardcore sex scenes, etc. But nothing could prepare me for what happened next.

There was incest, rape, gay sex (I'm OK with gays but I did NOT want to see them ... you know), necrophilia and the thankfully light scenes of bestiality. It would probably make Ed Gein look away in disgust. Now I've never had anything against sex/nudity in films (Salma Hayek in Desperado :naughty: ) but that was taking it too far.
The acting was painfully bad, the sets mostly all looked the same, historical innacuracy was high (a lawnmower decapitation machine in ancient Rome?) in the script was crap and the editor was probably under the influence of some sort of narcotic substance. I mean we have sex scenes in the middle of extreme voilence and even sometimes in the middle of dialoge. WTF?

Hermie
08-24-2004, 09:50 AM
Daredevil.:( the acting was cool, and the effects was okay, but the rest *shudders*

Oh, and I havent seen Catwoman, but it certianly seems horrible. I saw a clip, and felt as if I was watching a porn movie. Without the porn.

ckcsaber
08-24-2004, 10:37 AM
Uhh, probably some crappy double feature horror flick me and my buds rented for laughs. Unfortunatly, we didn't even get those out of it.

manoman81
08-24-2004, 10:50 AM
Even though it hasn't come out, I think that the new Baby Geniuses (sp?) movie is going to kill the rest of the movie season...

I agree with Titanic sucking huge...uh...thingies.

Daredevil would have been great if it had come out before the first Spider-Man movie. I still liked it though. I understand that they're making another one?

AvP sucked. Sorry to whomever actually liked it. As I said in the AvP thread, there were huge mountains of cheese in that movie. Really could have used some wine.

Again, any of the dancing/chick flick/ teenie bopper movies: Save the last Dance, You Drive Me Crazy, etc. should have never been made.

Anthony
08-24-2004, 11:01 AM
Master of Disguise

oh my freaking god. worst movie ever.

-Zack-
08-24-2004, 11:04 AM
Originally posted by Evil Dark Jedi
I really hate Freddy vs Jason.All they did (they as in the makers of the movie)was face 2 horror movie characters against each other.

I agree, Freddy vs. Jason totally sucked, it was a totally stupid movie.

obi
08-24-2004, 01:05 PM
Originally posted by Kain
Well, I just wasted 2 hours watching this movie called Doppelganger, and let me tell you, I have no idea whats going anymore.

Anyone else seen this abomonation of motion pictures?


!!!

Man, they KILLED that movie on Mystery Science Theater 3000. That episode rocked :D

"I knew he was hispanic, but I didn't know he was CUBAN!"
-MST3k joke

:D

Kain
08-24-2004, 01:23 PM
Originally posted by obi-wan13
!!!

Man, they KILLED that movie on Mystery Science Theater 3000. That episode rocked :D

"I knew he was hispanic, but I didn't know he was CUBAN!"
-MST3k joke

:D

I'll hafta try and find that episode. They tend to blast crap ass movies like that one so hard that I don't quit laughing until they leave the theater.


Expand your Imagi-Nation

toms
08-24-2004, 02:38 PM
I remember us all sitting down to watch Stigmata after a party for that "scary movie" feeling. What an arty load of predictable, unscary, derivative rubbish.

Van Helsing has to be the worst film i have paid to see in a long time.

I actually have a soft spot for bad-but-fun films. Usually.

Acrylic
08-24-2004, 03:06 PM
Originally posted by RpTheHotrod
Dreamcatcher.....awful......awful film. That one new "lake" film..forgot the name.....which had nothing to do with a lake...but about a murder mystery where the dad wants revenge on his daughter's murder..........boring..drawn out...pointless....not to mention....awful ending....

Mystic River is that. Its one of the best movies I've seen this year. I personally really liked it. Its really suspenseful. All you gotta do is pay attention to the story!

El Sitherino
08-24-2004, 03:07 PM
Titanic.

the new Cheaper by the Dozen (I'm sorry but Hillary Duff just kept making me vomit :( )

jebbers
08-24-2004, 11:15 PM
Cold Creek Manor sucked big time....SWAT sucked....theres more but im too lazy/tired to hunt them down.....

TiE23
08-25-2004, 12:36 AM
AotC

and Holly-Wood Homicide


TiE

RoxStar
08-25-2004, 12:37 AM
Originally posted by TiE 23


and Holly-Wood Homicide


TiE

You can hear harrison Ford's knees pop in that movie. A lot.

TiE23
08-25-2004, 12:41 AM
Originally posted by Dave Grohl
You can hear harrison Ford's knees pop in that movie. A lot. Hahaha! Good one :p

TiE

El Sitherino
08-25-2004, 12:41 AM
Originally posted by TiE 23
AotC
BLASPHEMER!

IG-64
08-25-2004, 12:45 AM
Every time I see the commercial for "superbabies 2" I cringe and hiss at its incredible wrothlessness.

TiE23
08-25-2004, 01:20 AM
Originally posted by IG-64
Every time I see the commercial for "superbabies 2" I cringe and hiss at its incredible wrothlessness. I know what you mean. "Can a brother get some water?" HOLY CRAP, WHAT THE ****??!!

TiE

Chewbacco
08-25-2004, 03:25 AM
Originally posted by TiE 23
I know what you mean. "Can a brother get some water?" HOLY CRAP, WHAT THE ****??!!

TiE That is just sad and a waste of money doing that movie. Very bad effects with action and how the babies talk and do adult things such as hand shakes or professional dance moves.
Poor and sad.

Astrotoy7
08-25-2004, 05:38 AM
Originally posted by Crazy_dog no.3
Ha! You guys don't know bad until you've seen the pile of sh*t known as ....

CALIGULA


I came across this in my parents porn collection(!) when I was around 14(!!). I heard that this was meant to be the worst movie of all time, Ebert says it's the only movie he's ever walked out of, it was supposed to be filled with hardcore sex scenes, etc. But nothing could prepare me for what happened next.

There was incest, rape, gay sex (I'm OK with gays but I did NOT want to see them ... you know), necrophilia and the thankfully light scenes of bestiality. It would probably make Ed Gein look away in disgust. Now I've never had anything against sex/nudity in films (Salma Hayek in Desperado :naughty: ) but that was taking it too far.
The acting was painfully bad, the sets mostly all looked the same, historical innacuracy was high (a lawnmower decapitation machine in ancient Rome?) in the script was crap and the editor was probably under the influence of some sort of narcotic substance. I mean we have sex scenes in the middle of extreme voilence and even sometimes in the middle of dialoge. WTF?

Your parents sound cool, with crazy hardcore porn like that....

mmm....crazy hardcore porn[/homer voice]

Ive seen Caligula, no biggie, I've seen Salo, no biggie..... theyre still not as bad as any chick flick :(

mtfbwya

Crazy_dog no.3
08-25-2004, 07:49 AM
Thier other videos were OK though. :naughty:


Another crap (but more well-known) film is The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Apart from Sean Connery, the invisible man and the cool shootout at the beggining, there was nothing to be happy about there.

edlib
08-25-2004, 11:56 AM
A movie that looked so very bad that I could never actually bring myself to see it: "Dungeons & Dragons."
Just the ads I saw on that sold me on the fact that it was going to be horrible.
*Shudders*

Pie™
08-25-2004, 12:07 PM
Originally posted by edlib
A movie that looked so very bad that I could never actually bring myself to see it: "Dungeons & Dragons."
Just the ads I saw on that sold me on the fact that it was going to be horrible.
*Shudders* That movie sucked utter monkey-nuts :barf:

Hermie
08-25-2004, 12:17 PM
Indeed it suck HUGE monkey-nuts. worst part is, theyre making a SEQUEL!! with PARIS HILTON!!!1111111ONEONEONE

At least thats what Ive heard...

Pie™
08-25-2004, 12:23 PM
Originally posted by Herminator_64
Indeed it suck HUGE monkey-nuts. worst part is, theyre making a SEQUEL!! with PARIS HILTON!!!1111111ONEONEONE

At least thats what Ive heard... Sweet mother of Lucifer... :barf:

Another terrible movie was Pearl Harbor :/

Anthony
08-25-2004, 12:31 PM
Yeah, pearl harbour really sucked.

Kain
08-25-2004, 12:58 PM
Originally posted by Herminator_64
Indeed it suck HUGE monkey-nuts. worst part is, theyre making a SEQUEL!! with PARIS HILTON!!!1111111ONEONEONE

At least thats what Ive heard...

Oh sweet mother of all that is good...

*banging*
*head*
*on*
*keyboard*

I can see it now: The Erotic Adventure of Drizzt Do'Urden


Expand your Imagi-Nation

Anthony
08-25-2004, 12:59 PM
Someone should drop a piano on Paris Hilton. ...and her annoying little dog that went missing a couple days ago but was found.:mad:

Darth Groovy
08-25-2004, 04:58 PM
1. The Blair Witch Project

I rank this as the most terrible movie I have ever spent money on. After watching 90 minutes of kids waving flashlights on thier face, sticks and stones, and jerky camera motions, I could almost hear the directors mocking me for the ultimate practical joke of a lifetime. "Ha, you dumb ass, you paid money so we could frighten you with sticks, stones and flashlights....gullable bastards! Truly the most frightning part of the movie, was the angry theater patrons during the credits. The best review of The Blair Witch Project was one man in the front row, hurling his drink at the screen during the end credits.

2. The English Patient

Dumb ass English guy gets burned to a crisp, and we spend the next 3 hours watching his sappy love story, through his crispy awful burned off lips. We watch this guy carry a dead chick through the desert for days....THAT must have smelled good. Very discustin movie.....second worse movie I have EVER seen in my life.

3. Monster

Charlize Theron won an Oscar for portraying the worst character in the third most worse movie I have ever bestowed upon my own eyes. This movie should never have seen the light of day.

Charlize plays a true life character, serial killer; Aileen Wuornos, a burned out haggard prostitute on the verge of suicide. She falls for closet lesbian, Selby Wall, played by Christina Ricci. Charlize decides to do one last trick to make some money to go see Christina.....it goes bad, as her trick decides to knock her out, and rape her with a blunt object. After she wakes up... she freaks out, grabs a gun and shoots the guy. She freaks out, grabs Christina and they run away. After several attempts to get a job fail, she goes back to being a prostitute, only this time, she decides to kill her tricks, and steal thier cars/money/personal belongings.....etc. She keeps doing this until ultimately, her now somewhat estranged girlfriend Christina Ricci, turns her in to the police , in exchange for a plea bargain.

I can't tell if this movie was suppose to make us feel sorry for Wuornos, or glorify her actions. Despite what happened to her....dammit, she's still a cold blooded killer. Who was the first female serial killer to be sent to execution. Hows that for a happy ending? I left that movie feeling both emotionally disturbed, and morally bankrupt.

4. U - Turn

Sean Penn + Jennifer Lopez = bad chemistry experiment. It should have been called wrong movie, because this movie is all about wrong.

5. Titanic

James Cameron steaks his life savings centering his disaster movie around the most hackneyed love story every envisioned. Watching the damn thing sink, redeemed the ticket price, but the love story unfortunately goes on even longer than that damned Celine Dion song.

6. The Exorcist

Why people think it is so scary only proves why the human race is devoid of all logic and reason. This movie has been given better treatment than Casa Blanka, enhanced, restored, redone....yada yada. People line up in droves to watch Linda Blair hurl pea soup and stab her privates with a crucifix. The power of Christ compells you not to watch this movie.

7. Megaforce

Barry Bostwick tries to replicate The Road Warrior in shiny spandex...circa 1982. The whole fiber of this film is as lifeless as the deserts they cross.

8. Dune

This is the 1984 David Lynch adaptation of the Frank Herbert Classic. The result was the record biggest flop of the decade. Though the special effects and costumes are quite breathtaking, the method of story telling wraps your brain into tangled knots, had you not read the story before.

9. Waterworld

Mad max again on a fictional world created by Kevin Kostner, where the polar ice caps have melted, and token anti-hero ALSO played by Kevin Koster agrees to take (Jeanne Tripplehorn) and her adoptive daughter (Tina Majorino) to rumored dry land. The end result is watching how Kevin Koster pisses away $200 million into the sea.

10. Batman & Robin

Director Joel Shumacker, and "actor" George Klooney join forces turning Bob Kane's dark crime fighter into a two hour circus of the stars with big crotch cups, armor nipples, and a whole-lotta really bad dialouge. At the time, if this would have been presented as "Batman on Ice" and marketed towards children, I might have bought it. This movie killed the Batman Franchise, and turned Tim Burton's award winning Dark Night series into a campy costumed clunk head, who made Adam West look like Dirty Harry. The only thing this film did successfully, was prove that the costume, and the logos, don't sell the movie. This is one exception where audiences got smart.

acdcfanbill
08-26-2004, 12:07 AM
nice list groovy, cept for dune and waterwourld. i really liked Dune and i hadnt even read the books, i now own the original movie the two new ones and am planning on reading them sometime :)

also, waterworld wasnt that bad i didnt think, i've seen much worse action movies. yea, the budget was a goof of monu-fecking-mentic proportions, but i didnt think it was a bad waste of a couple hours.

jokemaster
08-26-2004, 12:32 AM
Titanic
Anything with Hilary Duff in it
Every chick flick/teen dance film
Princess Diaries 1 and 2

IG-64
08-26-2004, 12:34 AM
Grooves, you forgot Bats, the Leprecaun series, and Men in Black II

Kain
08-26-2004, 01:01 AM
Hehehe, Titanic. I was forced to see it in the theater and when that guy smoked the propeller on the way down, I swear the people in the next screen could here me laugh. And when Leo died, again, everyone in the building could hear me laugh.

How I do so enjoy laughing at others suffering.


Expand your Imagi-Nation

CapNColostomy
08-26-2004, 05:14 AM
Originally posted by Darth Groovy

4. Wrong Turn

Sean Penn + Jennifer Lopez = bad chemistry experiment. It should have been called wrong movie, because this movie is all about wrong.

Wrong movie. You're talking about U-Turn. And I kinda liked it. Epsecially the characters played by S. Penn, Billy Bob, and Jaoqin (sp?) Phoenix. Hell, I even liked Nick Nolte in that, and I almost always hate him. Anyway.

Darth Groovy
08-26-2004, 06:25 AM
Originally posted by CapNColostomy
Wrong movie. You're talking about U-Turn. And I kinda liked it. Epsecially the characters played by S. Penn, Billy Bob, and Jaoqin (sp?) Phoenix. Hell, I even liked Nick Nolte in that, and I almost always hate him. Anyway.

*goes to check*

Ahh, your correct. My apology. *fixes post*

Originally posted by acdcfanbill
nice list groovy, cept for dune and waterwourld. i really liked Dune and i hadnt even read the books, i now own the original movie the two new ones and am planning on reading them sometime :)

also, waterworld wasnt that bad i didnt think, i've seen much worse action movies. yea, the budget was a goof of monu-fecking-mentic proportions, but i didnt think it was a bad waste of a couple hours.

Dune could have been so much better though. It had the costumes, the budget, the great actors, but that movie fell apart at that seems dude! I watched the made for Sci-Fi channel remake "Frank Herbert's Dune" and loved it. Had it been done more like that, I'd have liked it. Part of the problem was trying to squeeze all that info into a two hour movie, it just doesn't work.

Originally posted by IG-64
Grooves, you forgot Bats, the Leprecaun series, and Men in Black II

MIBII wasn't great, but wasn't terrible either. Never saw the Leprechaun movies, nor do I intend to any time during my natural life. I'm one of those guys that can see the hidden messages on the back of a video box. Something about a killer leprechaun screams, "PLEASE DO NOT RENT THIS".

Actually, I kind of like Bats. I know it is a horrible movie, but it kind of makes me laugh, because it is a good midnight movie, complete with every monster movie cliche' in the book! I also love watching Dina Meyer! :naughty:

toms
08-26-2004, 01:14 PM
I think you are being a bit harsh on Titanic. Admittedly a lot of it is melodramatic rubbish... but the sinking section was amazing on the big screen... which was after all the point of watching it.

Dune... i'm torn... the film is pretty rubbish, but there are a number of REALLY GOOD parts in there (performances, effects, set design) that had a big influence on other films. I've played dune games, read the books and watched the (better) mini-series.. but when i think of worms, ornithopters, shields, baron harkonen etc.. i always imagine it like in the movie. Wasn't it before star wars? that is a long time ago...

The exorcist... i watched with excitement when it came out and found deadly dull... but it was AMAZINGLY POWERFULL when it came out (people fainting, running from the cinema, etc..) so it is a bit unfair to judge it with modern eyes. I prefered part 3 though. :D (Possessed old people = freaky)

Blair Witch project.... I loved this film. I know it has become fashionable to bash it, and once you know all about it, or have seen it once there isn't a lot too it. (It maybe went on about 10 mins too long in the middle as well), but i thought it was one of the most disturbing horror films i had ever seen. It isn't "scary" in the jumpy way that most horror films, but it has a great sense of tension and increasing dread, and i loved the ending. Still, it is one of those films you either love or hate.

Oh, can i nominate Batman Forever (where they turned it from a cool film franchise into a toy series, with cardboard performances from Kilmer and Kidman, nipples on the at suit and a terrible car (and scene stealing carey). ).

Oh, and superman 4.... sigh.

:rolleyes:

El Sitherino
08-26-2004, 01:48 PM
Blair Witch sucked, I couldn't stop laughing from it's idiocy, and crying because I wasted 7 dollars on it.

The Passion of Christ. The movie was alright, but it just bored me a lot. And I'm a big fan of mythology movies. I love Jason and the Argonauts and Hercules and all those kinds of movies, but this was just boring and too I dunno... :bored:

Seabiscuit, movie sucked plain and simple.

jokemaster
08-26-2004, 02:09 PM
I think titanic sucks because it's a 3 hour movie with only 2 scenes I think are worth watching.

Curt-Man
08-26-2004, 03:07 PM
all jaws movies except the first one, and i enjoyed pearl harbor so yeah, you know what was a terrible movie, but hella funny, big trouble in little china, the coolest enemy in the movie just gets so mad he blows up, hahah. anywho, hilary duff, well pretty much all teenage girls suck at acting so yeah.

Nalukai
08-26-2004, 05:55 PM
Captain America
Hulk
Catwoman
Alien VS Predator
Freddy VS Jason
Matrix Revelations
Van Helsing
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Torque (LOL?)
You got Served (ROFL!)
2 Fast 2 Furious
Exorcist: The Beginning

oh and lets not forget these winners... Crossroads and a Cinderella Story

jebbers
08-26-2004, 11:55 PM
crossroads..with britney spears....i like the first coupla minutes cuz shes jumping around her room in panties and a tank top for a few minutes....best part:D

Kain
08-27-2004, 12:32 AM
LEST WE FORGET ANACONDA!!!

And to think it got a MIDGETS!!!...sequel makes me COLORED MIDGETS!!!...sick.


Expand your MIDGETS!!!!...Imagi-Nation

Darth Groovy
08-27-2004, 04:36 AM
There is a few "honorable mentions" that didn't make it to my top ten list.


From Dusk Till Dawn:

George Klooney, Harvey Keitell, Quentin Tarentino, Juliete Lewis, Salma Heyek.

Very big list of actors here. This movie starts out as a thought provoking thriller, as Klooney, and his sociopath brother, take a minister (Keitel) and his daughter (Juliette Lewis) hostage.

I don't remember why anymore, but the journey ends at a nudy bar in bumbletoe Texas/Mexico which is conviently inhabbited by Vampires.

What starts off as being an interesting character study, rapidly turns into a throw away shock slop horror flick of abysmal proportions. I could not run from the end of this movie fast enough, because I could not believe that Robert Rodriguez (Desparado, Spy Kids) directed this bale of rubbish. I still can't believe it.

American Beauty:

This film was supposed to make some sort of a statement about the American Dream, but I am either ignorant, or I missed the point. What I do know, is that it starts out with a knock out performance by Kevin Spacey, and then it ends making you want to jump off the nearest bridge wearing concrete slippers. One of the worst endings I have ever seen.

Sleepwalkers:

Cat people doing crazy cat things. This was the height of the throw away Steven King horror movies, a trend that lasted generations.

Death Becomes Her:

Meryl Streep, Isabella Rossellini, and Goldie Hawn team up for a three way cat fight. Streep and Hawn's ability to offset middle age, with the aid of a "magic potion" created by Isabella Rossellini, leaves the movie open for an impressive special effects extravaganza which is meant to sell the movie, but the movie sells short of anything remotely interesting or entertaining. The FX gags are spread way to thin, and the joke wears off very early in the film.

Clan of the Cave Bear:

Daryl Hannah, stars in this prehistoric neandrothal type movie, where for some ODD reason, looking ever like the life like barbie doll she really is.... strolls into a tribe of thick headed, underevolved looking cro-magnon people. After eventually getting into the tribe, the film becomes a half assed attempt at a battle of the sexes but in the end is devoid of anything.....dare I say "human". The story is told through about 90 minutes of closed captioned grunts and neosyllables. Although the DVD package features Hannah in full blown "Kabuki-esque" make up, don't expect a warrior film, expect an embarassing, attempt to capture the dawn of the civilazation. The end result will make you want to beat yourself over the head with a bone or a rock.

toms
08-27-2004, 11:14 AM
Dusk til dawn rocks!!! it just seems there are a few people out there who don't get the joke...:D
The 2 disc special edition comes with a really cool feature length documentary called full tilt boogie which is one of the best on set documentaries for years.
(Yeah, i know what you mean though, cos desperado was so full of intelligent character study... :confused: )

American beauty was awesome too. As was Big Trouble, although again some people don't seem to get it. It was supposed to be a comedy, a "tribute" to the hong kong supernatural wirework movies such as Zu Warriors from the magic mountain.

ZU WARRIORS Undoubtedly one of the most famous and influential movies ever to come out of the industry, Zu Warriors is the original inspiration for John Carpenter's big-budget smash-hit Big Trouble in Little China, and director Ang Lee borrowed heavily to re-create the stylish visuals for his multi-oscar winning epic, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

Director John Carpenter: I was always a fan of kung fu movies. I had seen Five Fingers of Death and the Bruce Lee movies in the Seventies. Zu (Warriors) gave me a lot of ideas with regard to depicting the nature of Chinese monsters and the supernatural.

edlib
08-27-2004, 11:20 AM
A few more I have thought of:

2010

Took everything that was thought provoking, creative, and original about 2001 and basically threw it away. Ending up with a derivative, silly, confusing, and lame knock-off with a bunch of sub B-list actors.

All of the Star Trek movies except Khan and Undiscovered Country (and that one's borderline...)
Some of the worst sci-fi movies ever made (especially ST I, V and Generations. The rest are mostly just dull or silly.)
On paper even Khan shouldn't work; you have the 2 biggest overactors in history (Shatner and Montalban) facing off against each other in a rather unplausable revenge tale (if Khan's really so hyper-intellegent and he has the most powerful weapon in the universe, why doesn't he hold the Federation government hostage with it until they hand over Kirk to him as a ransom?!??) Yet the movie somehow remains light on it's feet.
And for the love of... STOP KILLING OFF MAIN CHARACTERS AND THEN BRINGING THEM BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! LET SOMEONE HAVE THE DIGNITY OF A GREAT DEATH SCENE FOR ONCE WITHOUT THE WINKING KNOWLEDGE THAT THEY"LL BE BACK IN THE NEXT MOVIE ANYWAY!!! AAAAARGH!!!

toms
08-28-2004, 12:23 PM
i'd agree with those ones.....


I watched a straight to video flic called "revenge of the rollerblade 7" or something that had a cover looking like a mad-max on rollerblades meets 7 samurai low budget exploitation flic... which i thought would be a laugh.

It was awful!!! and not in the good way i hoped. It made NO SENSE at all, was oddly attempting to be arty, and had fight scenes that (honestly) consisted of a guy doing a bad fight in slow motion, then them replaying that same fight (in its entirity, not just each move) at least twice with odd colour filters.... They must have added 30 minutes to the length of the film with these repeats. probably the worst film i have EVER seen.

----

Gone in 60 seconds (the remake, not the original)... i was really looking forward to this. A decent car chase movie, with nic cage who i like. It turned out to be dull as dishwater. Have only about 10 minutes of car chases total (if that, and all at the end) and end with the most stupid CGI jump ever made that just made everyone in the cinema laugh. What a disappointment.

SeleneRayne
08-28-2004, 07:40 PM
Blair Witch Project- WHY?

Jerky cameras making me wanna hurl, stupid whinny kids talking about being scared by little sticks assembled so nicely DUMB

And of coarse, Titanic BORNG< LONG >WHINNY blah blah you get it!!

Darth Groovy
08-29-2004, 09:19 AM
I should have put this in my top ten list, but it is so bad, I almost forgot about it.

The Ring:

The reason this movie is so bad, is that like The Blair Witch Project, it starts off on a really good premise before it all goes kaput.

Based on a Japenese film called "Ringu" , the plot revolves around the death of a teenage girl, and a mysterious video tape.
According to the myth, if you watch this tape, you will recieve a mysterious phone call, and the voice will tell you that you have 7 days to live. Is that cool or what? Even creepier, is the tape itself, which contains alot of strange images, which don't make a whole lot of sense when first viewed in sequence. I'm not going to spoil the plot, because it is not worth spoiling. To make a long story short, a girl investigates a distant realative's death, the teenage girl watched the tape. The girl watches the tape, get's the phone call, and starts seeing **** from the tape in her everyday life. Big whoop-de-doo.:rolleyes:

The ending was so bad, I stood up and laughed in hysterics. I almost wish I had died 7 days after watching that DVD, so that I would not have to remember seeing it. :o

Darth Groovy
08-29-2004, 08:18 PM
Originally posted by SeleneRayne
Blair Witch Project- WHY?

Jerky cameras making me wanna hurl, stupid whinny kids talking about being scared by little sticks assembled so nicely DUMB



One tiny little detail I left out of my para-review was that all of the kids in that forest were so damn stupid, that they really deserverd to die. What kind of tard looses a map, and then crosses the same stream twice?! If they were that lost, they should have followed the stream's current, it would eventually have to lead to some larger body of water right? And most larger bodies of water, have towns near them correct? Losers! I would have killed them myself by gouging they're eyes out with sticks, and smashing them with stones. :rolleyes:

jokemaster
08-30-2004, 10:12 AM
Groovy: From Dusk Till Dawn was also written by Quentin Tarantino.


Also: Just got dragged to go see New York Minute, the new olsen twins movie, DAMN IT GIRLS, THINK UP ANOTHER PLOT FOR ONCE! I mean for chrissakes, they've been doing the same movie for years, two twin girls, one's perfectly organized the other's a rebel, living with a single parent, have an adventure, find a boyfriend and learn that they need to be friends :rolleyes: GROW THE **** UP!

Alegis
08-30-2004, 11:42 AM
The mummy

the mummy si teh suxorz. It's incredibly ridiculous.

jokemaster
08-30-2004, 01:15 PM
I actually thought the mummy was pretty good.

manoman81
08-30-2004, 01:27 PM
My friend rented a movie the other night that sucked soooooo bad. It was called Junior (not the one with Arnie in it). This was supposed to be a horror movie. It made Blair Witch look like an Academy Award Winner....

Astrotoy7
08-30-2004, 01:31 PM
Originally posted by Darth Groovy
..... that all of the kids in that forest were so damn stupid...

Dont be too hard on those guys Grooves. I think one thing the movie was trying to get across was the effect of fear on peoples minds and their responses to it. What you said they should have done were of course the things they needed to do, but that sense of fear(whetever its cause, namely themselves or some evil that permeated the forest ?) started to cause them to act irrationally and bicker etc....those sods were doomed from the minute they stepped in the forest :(

A duo of movies I didnt hugely enjoy was Tomb Raider....especially TR 2 :( I am always really skeptical of game-movie tie-ins, and cant really think of such a movie that was really done well.... (there is hope for FF7 AC tho :) )

mtfbwya

jokemaster
08-30-2004, 01:45 PM
Originally posted by Astrotoy7
Dont be too hard on those guys Grooves. I think one thing the movie was trying to get across was the effect of fear on peoples minds and their responses to it. What you said they should have done were of course the things they needed to do, but that sense of fear(whetever its cause, namely themselves or some evil that permeated the forest ?) started to cause them to act irrationally and bicker etc....those sods were doomed from the minute they stepped in the forest :(

A duo of movies I didnt hugely enjoy was Tomb Raider....especially TR 2 :( I am always really skeptical of game-movie tie-ins, and cant really think of such a movie that was really done well.... (there is hope for FF7 AC tho :) )

mtfbwya
I think the secret for a game movie to succeed is to have the makers of the game DIRECTLY involved with the movie, and make it based on the game's story or something like that, which is what went wrong with the original FF movie. But FF7 AC could succeed cause it has the people from square making it, and it's based on the game,by which I mean it has the game's characters, it's in the same place the game took place, not in another universe

Darth Groovy
08-30-2004, 08:14 PM
Originally posted by Astrotoy7

A duo of movies I didnt hugely enjoy was Tomb Raider....especially TR 2 :( I am always really skeptical of game-movie tie-ins, and cant really think of such a movie that was really done well.... (there is hope for FF7 AC tho :) )

mtfbwya

Yep, Tomb Raider was pretty terrible. I didn't even attempt to see Tomb Radier: The Cradle of Life. Thing is, I actually had high hopes for that one. I was looking forward to Lara Croft picking up where Indy left off, but it was nothing like Indy, Hell it wasn't even as good at the game! :(

toms
08-31-2004, 04:55 AM
Originally posted by SeleneRayne
Blair Witch Project- WHY?

Hmm, unique? innovative? scary? clever? menace? tension? great ending? hmmm you're right, can't see why i would like a film like that... need a film with more leather clad bullet-time uber vampires with guns... ;)

I had to drive home to my house on the edge of the forest at night after watching that film, and i was pretty freaked out as i walked in the dark from my car to the house with the wind whistling in the trees.

---------

I haven't seen the american Ring, i was a bit dissapointed with Ringu (and Ringu 2) as i had been looking foreward to seeing them for ages and i think i had built up my expectations too high.

Ringu wasn't scary in the current "make em jump" style of western horror films, but Sadoka was possibly the scariest movie baddy of all time, it still freaks me out when i think of her. :eek: