View Full Version : Confused Wifey Writes All Knowing Role Players

10-20-2004, 06:49 PM
I have a problem, and it may really be just that - my problem....
My husband's been playing SWG since Feb this year and me, I'm usually online surfing but I'm no gamer. I've never role played, don't understand it, and quite honestly I don't know what to make of SWG. Im pretty used to him getting engrossed in PC games, but this is his first online game and every free second is devoted to it.
Just a few wks ago he told me his character has a romance-slash-cozy-relationship going with a female character, and his guildmates are suggesting they marry. I was really taken aback, since I didnt know a) that his character had a relationship with another one, and b) didn't even know characters could marry! So why would any married OR single roleplayer seek an IC relationship unless it gave useful in-game advantages? From what I see in the SWG forums, marrying doesnt give major benefits (aside from potentially having the support of that character, which is what guilds are for) Marriage is merely for entertainment value. Naturally I wondered who the person behind his characters (oy vey).... um... girlfriend is. He knows only her age and location, that's all.... I know I'd probably be able to deal with this a bit better if it was at least a coworker of his or someone I knew (?) She apparently knows equally as little about him, like his gender, age & general location but not that he's married... I guess neither has asked the other their marital status is RL (?) Is that not odd when you know the other details about the other player ? He said it just never came up in conversation ..... (??give me opinions on this please??) He says I'm over-reacting to this character relationship, that I just don't get RPGs and to chill out its only a game. But for me, I dont see it as just a game, I see interactive chats with things like *kiss* sweeatheart, (((hug))) love you, and that boils my blood ! I cant follow between IC and OOC chat because often they dont use brackets, or say IC or OOC so Ive no idea when comments are either which way ....(sigh-groan-grumble) .....Can someone shed some light on this for me and tell me if this all makes sense ? Im finding comfort in the concept that "she" is actually a large fat hairy sweaty gay man that really......really enjoys their chats. Thank you so much....... theoutsider:rolleyes:

Jan Gaarni
10-21-2004, 12:25 AM
Hey Outsider, and welcome to the forums. :)

Well, many think the same way you do when they hear about someone getting married in a game. :)

I really don't know where that came from.

But, people do it, usually for the RPG value of it. Role Playing Games such as these is awhole nother world on it's own. They have everything real life has (well atleast alot of it :) ), drama, tradigy, relationsships (sometimes real drama, tradigy and relationships, but usually it's all "fake". Acting in a play you might say), action, economy (yes, even an economy :) ) etc.....
You might see your character being married for instance as an important point in it's life. She may leave him one day for instance, or vice versa, which will evolve and devlop your character further.
For others it's about having a very close ally within the game, one you can share certain stuff about ingame things, without risking it being spread across the galaxy for all to read. Stuff you as his not-playing-SWG can't help with. I'm not talking about personal matters, but events that unfold within the PA (Player Association, same as a guild) or from outside the guild. It's not always fun and games in these games, some people take it very seriously, others just wants to hurt peoples experience. Remember I said games like these have alot of the same real issues we deal with in real life, both fake and real? Well, I forgot to add stealing, scamming, cheating, stuff like that really happens in this game. And it happens alot more than you would think. The standard excuse is, it's a roleplaying game, I'm roleplaying a criminal. :rolleyes:

Anyway, the point of this game, and others like it, is it gives you chance to live out your dreams, in this case (for the most of the players that play it anyway) it's the fact you finally get to live and explore the Star Wars Saga, which is a powerfull drive in itself. I can't explain it, but there's something that just sucks you into this world. You need to like Star Wars to really understand the drive it creates. :)

But anyways, I wouldn't worry too much about all the *kisses* and hugging. It happens all the time, even between people who arn't "romantically" involved, wether it's real or not.
Internet and the aninymity (sp?) and the freedom the Internet gives you, makes most people dare more, be more outspoken, and show more of the feeling side. It also can bring the worst out in people, like being more verbally abusive than they would have dared in "real-life", face to face with the guy or girl he/she is thrown **** about/towards.

Basically, if this is happening without any attempt of covering it up I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Of course, you're allowed to express your concern about it and be able to ask maybe for him to tone it down somewhat if it is excessive. :) He should have no problem complying to that.

That's my view on the matter anyway.

10-21-2004, 06:38 AM
Thanks Jan I appreciate your input..... :eyemouth:

I'm glad I posted despite ridicule; it was my last resort. I've talked, I've written it down, I've explained, I've cried forever and I miss him. I miss him a lot. It's a painful catch 22; if you express your loneliness you're ignored further, then resented. Yet the more you're ignored, the more you ask why is this more important, why is it more consuming than reality?
Granted, you are absolutely correct. Living vicariously through role playing characters has great creative and therapeutic advantages, as does anonymity online. The downfall being that RL still does exist, it can't be paused, cloned or deleted & it doesn't just "logoff". You can only learn limited social tools and act out situations in character in a controlled, designed environment which can set up unrealistic expectations when translated into reality.

SWG role playing is a very idealistic and comforting world to live in. Thankfully its peppered with supportive imaginative online and RL friends who know the balance in "living multiple lives". It's a matter of recognizing that one life is affecting the other, and which one is of greater value.

It is, after all, just a game.

It's the "role" we all play in reality that has priority. Period !


Wraith 8
10-21-2004, 09:29 AM
well i understand your ... point of view :)

(welcome btw)

im one of the people who got married in game... twice :p
i have 2 characters ingame... and i married the 2 characters of a female player. my girlfriend knows this and is a bit jealous at times.... i mean i also used teamspeak a lot and whenever i was talking to jan's sister online she get all jealous :p ;)
(btw jan's sister already lives with her boyfriend.... im not interested in her in a relationship kind of way anyway :p)

i dont know why bothers people. its really a game. sure it happens from time to time that people really fall in love IRL... it happened to 2 people ingame i know.

but... what im trying to say is... i roleplay my mariage ingame. i like to roleplay :)...

i shouldnt worry to much. if you love your Hubby as much as he loves you you have NOTHING to worry about.

Corzip Dinn

Sounds Risky
10-24-2004, 05:18 AM
Dunno how anyone could fall in love with those ugly avatars . . .