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Leper Messiah
11-22-2004, 05:31 PM
did a thread a while back on cartoon quotes, but ill cast the net elsewhere on this one and ask what are the best quotes you've heard in your own experience (rather than on tv etc)

my current favorite is a mates:

"The other day I found out my best mate slept with my girlfriend and my sister in the same week"

*awkward silence for a few seconds*

"Not on really is it?"

Squee-sithguy
11-22-2004, 06:45 PM
One of my favorite quotes is a John Lennon quote

"I only tried drugs once.........after that I did them"

:p

--ZeeMan--
11-22-2004, 08:02 PM
what goes up will keep going up if it's thrown hard enough

El Sitherino
11-22-2004, 08:11 PM
"dude, your mom is hot"

Leper Messiah
11-23-2004, 02:23 AM
Originally posted by InsaneSith
"dude, your mom is hot"

i dont think anyone wants to hear their friends say that, especially not girlfriends saying that as famously happened to someone in my school

Boba Rhett
11-23-2004, 02:30 AM
"YOU CAN ADJUST DEPTH OF PENETRATION AND ANGLE OF ATTACK"



"We were stranded in the snow.... our radio was broken... for the love of god, we had to eat SOMETHING!"

Mike Windu
11-23-2004, 02:45 AM
"East? I thought you said Weast!"

"I am the dark underlord of evil... they call me... PEACHES!"

Patrick: You're a man now, SpongeBob, and it's time you started acting like one.
SpongeBob: Yeah. Oh, but I'm not sure how.
Patrick: Allow me to demonstrate. First, puff out your chest.
[SpongeBob puffs out his chest]
Patrick: Now say, "tax exemption."
SpongeBob: Tax exemption.
Patrick: Now you must develop a taste for free-form jazz.
[Both listen intently to jazz music]
Patrick: Okay, you're ready.

ManRay: Excuse me sir, but I believe you dropped your wallet.
Patrick: It doesn't look familiar to me.
ManRay: What? But I just saw you drop it. I am trying to be a good citizen, and return it to you.
Patrick: Return what to who?
ManRay: [Reaching into the wallet and pulling out Patrick's I. D] Are you a Mr. Patrick Starr?
Patrick: Yep.
ManRay: And this is your I. D.
Patrick: Yep.
ManRay: And I found it in this wallet, and therefore, this must be your wallet.
Patrick: Makes sense to me.
ManRay: So, take it.
Patrick: It's not mine.

Barnacle Boy: We won. And the superhero-supervillain rules require you to do what I say.
ManRay: World domination. Ask for world domination.
The Dirty Bubble: Make him eat dirt.
[Man-Ray gives him a curious look]
The Dirty Bubble: In addition to the world domination thing.

Patrick: Liar, liar, plants for hire.
SpongeBob SquarePants: It's pants on fire, Patrick.
Patrick: Well you would know, liar.

Patrick: 24
[SpongeBob and Patrick giggle]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [giggling] Hey Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24.
Patrick: Let's hear it.
SpongeBob SquarePants: 25.
[both burst out laughing]

Patrick: We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or hijacking, here. WE STOLE A BALLOON.

Mr. Krabs: I didn't want to tell you this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Am I a pretty girl?
Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, you're... you're beautiful.

IG-64
11-23-2004, 03:01 AM
I know, I know, no cartoon quotes, but I have to slip in a few Family Guy ones :p

Tom Tucker: Now let's go to Greg The Weather Mime. OK... it's going to be cold... lots of wind... and it looks like parents are going to throw human fecal matter from the rooftops onto their children ... oh, GOD. That's awful. No wait, it looks like rain. Yes, rain.

Peter: That was then and this is now. And this is a chair. And that's a lamp. And you have boobies. And I'm gonna find that trophy.

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

XD

And, uh... I can't think of any personal quotes >.>

Mike Windu
11-23-2004, 03:07 AM
just fer you IG :D

Sandy Cheeks: Don't you DARE take the name of Texas in vain.
SpongeBob SquarePants: You mean we can't say anything bad about dumb old Texas?
Sandy Cheeks: No, you can't!
Patrick: Well, can we say that people from Texas are dumb?

[SpongeBob has shaped himself in the form of Texas to irritate Sandy]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, Patrick. What am I?
Patrick: Stupid?
SpongeBob SquarePants: No, I'm Texas.
Patrick: What's the difference?


Don't take it too seriously, they're just sea creatures:p

IG-64
11-23-2004, 03:15 AM
... Dumb sea creatures >.>



:xp:

KBell
11-23-2004, 03:56 AM
Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?

Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.




"Alcohol, the cause and solution to, all of life's problems"
Homer Simpson

Leper Messiah
11-23-2004, 04:23 AM
damn you infidels we already did the cartoon quotes!

CapNColostomy
11-23-2004, 06:08 AM
A patient where I work-

"I'm tired of the staff around here treating me like I'm an @$$hole!"

My boss turning to look at me-

"He must not know how we really treat *******s around here."

El Sitherino
11-23-2004, 09:50 AM
Originally posted by CapNColostomy
A patient where I work-

"I'm tired of the staff around here treating me like I'm an @$$hole!"

My boss turning to look at me-

"He must not know how we really treat *******s around here." XD that was great.

Mike Windu
11-23-2004, 02:09 PM
*Squidward plays clarinet*

*knock*

Doctor: "Yeah, uhh...I'm with the pet hospital down the street and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises..."


Squidward: *SLAM* (door closes)

Agen
11-23-2004, 03:39 PM
"That which does not kill me, only postpones the inveitable"

stingerhs
11-23-2004, 07:44 PM
ahh, the sweet sound of stupidity from the folks that come through my drive-thru....

Me-"What would you like to drink with that #1?"
Guy-"Mayo"
Me-"Umm, what would you like to drink?"
Guy-"Oh, umm, do you guys have any Tabasco sauce?"


(i get this one quite often, and remember, this is a drive-thru window)
Me-"Welcome. Can I take your order?"
Somebody-"Ya, umm, I'll have a burger and fries....to go."


Somebody-"Let me have a double-cheeseburger with fries and a Coke. Oh, and uhh, no cheese on that burger."


Me-"Welcome. Can I take your order?"
Somebody-*ignores me and talks on a cell phone for two minutes*
Me-"Can I take your order??"
Somebody-*two more minutes pass*"Hang on, I'll call you back. (to me)Umm, ya, give me a minute."

--ZeeMan--
11-23-2004, 07:57 PM
oooooh if we're doing food service stupidy but memorable quotes the games over and i've got it captured...


these are actual questions i've had to answer....

Does pepperoni come of a veggie lovers?

Do onions come on a meat lovers?


this next one takes the cake and eats it too....


Do you accept cash?

- No I'm sorry, fine jewels and first born children only....

Mike Windu
11-23-2004, 08:31 PM
Maybe they like to pay in bubble money?




:D


"Bubble Buddy says this drink tastes a little funny, what do you think Squidward?"

"Oh... silly me... I got the DIET shampoo..."

stingerhs
11-23-2004, 08:44 PM
you guys outa hear some of the stuff the 3rd shift manager has recorded (yes, recorded. he found the drive-thru frequency and hooked up a radio to a tape recorder)

those drunks say some of the most insane stuff.....

(note-manager is married with children and male)
manager-"Welcome. Can I take your order?"
drunk chick-"Ya, uumm, *giggles* I want, no, wait, we want *giggles* 6 cheeseburgers, plain, with an ice to drink."


(at the window, true story, and the same drunk chick)
manager-"Your total is (some number over $20)"
drunk chick-"But we don't have that much. *giggles*I'll tell ya what, I'll flash my boobies at you, and you can take $5 off the price."
manager-"Sure you can flash me all you want, but your total is still gonna be (whatever the price was)."
drunk chick-"Well, that just f***in sucks. What if me and you went into the bathrooms, and had a little bit of fun..." (i censored what she acutually said at the end there. its just a tad graphic)

i hate my store being open 24 hrs. :mad:

Writer
11-23-2004, 09:02 PM
Ever get asked if your business takes Quest cards? I have.

We used to, but now there's a sign on the front of our register that clearly states that we don't... how stupid can some people be?

Another thing: people will come in and order a pizza. We'll make it for them and give it to them. They'll stare at it for a minute and then say, "Don't you cook them here?"

No, dummies, it's take and bake! Read the signs "Fresh Ready to Bake" not "Already Baked":p

Kain
11-23-2004, 09:32 PM
This is from my job.

*Manager on intercom*
The store will be closing in 5 minutes.
*Customer to me, not 5 feet from manager*
When do you guys close?
*Me staring blankly*
*Manager*
10PM.
*Customer*
How much longer, I mean.
*Me staring blankly a little bit more*

*Me standing next to 50lbs bags of dogfood*
*Customer*
Where is your dog food?
*Me staring blankly at dog food for a few seconds*
3 aisles over that way.
*Customer looks*
That way?
*Me*
Yes...that way.*leaves aisle*

*Me standing in Health and Beauty, 2 aisles from Electronics which has a huge wall of TV's on display*
*Customer*
Where do you guys sell TVs at?
*Me pointing in wrong direction*
Back corner of the store.

*Me trying to move a 35" TV alone, obviously struggling*
*Customer*
Is that heavy?
*Me, with so much sarcasm in my voice it pained me*
Nope, just trying to get it to stretch its legs out.*muttering*Shmuck.

*Me sitting in Cafe, eating a burger, obviously on break*
*Customer*
Can you help me with something?
*Me*
I suppose I could...if I wasn't on break.
*Customer*
Well can you come off of your break?
*2 other employees walk by*
Ask one of them.
*Customer visibly aggitated*
I didn't ask them, I asked you.
*Me, taking huge bite from burger so I don't have to respond for a minute*
And I didn't ask you to ask them, I told you to ask them.
*Customer, red cheeked*
Where is your manager?
*Me, grinning like the Chesire Cat*
Why?
*Customer*
I want to report how rude your being!
*Me*
Hey (manager's name), this customer has something to tell you.
*Customer explains situation*
*Manager looks at me and shakes his head*
I could write you up for this.
*Me*
He's only being a dick because he's my brother.
*Manager shakes his head and leaves*
*Customer*
I ain't your ****in brother.
*Me, chewing on burger*
Yea, but he doesn't know that.
*Customer*
Well, I want you to explain to him that I ain't your brother.
*Me*
Well, I want you to piss off but it just ain't happening, is it?
*gets up and goes into the employee lounge*

I never did get in trouble for that either.

Rogue15
11-23-2004, 09:56 PM
awesome!!!

Darth Groovy
11-24-2004, 12:17 AM
Jules: "English mother****er, do you speak it?"

Brad: "What?"

Jules: "What ain't no Country I ever heard of, do they speak English in What?!"

Brad: "What"

Jules(now pointing a gun at Brad) :"Say what one more god damn time! I dare you mother****er say what again?"

Jules: "What does Marcellis Wallace look like?"

Brad: "He's bald.....he's black...."

Jules: "Does he look like a bitch?"

I love that bit!

Pulp Fiction is VERY quotable, and so is Apocalypse Now; "I love the smell of napalm in the morning...."

Sabretooth
11-24-2004, 02:16 AM
"My testicle is covered by ants." - Homer Simpson

Darth Rythe
11-24-2004, 03:03 AM
All these were said by mates of mine:xp:

"Nothing is faster than the speed of light...
To prove this to yourself, try opening the refrigerator door before the light comes on."


"Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak."


"Some people talk in their sleep, teachers talk while you sleep."


Chris: I want them to multiply our votes by our IQ.
Thomo: What, you want a dictatorship?


"Whatfs the difference between a cat and a mouse?
They both start with eCf except the mouse."


"Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square! "


"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it."


"I drowned my fish last night."


"Lets talk politics; do you think John Howard is hot?"


"She has bigger balls than me..."


Faulkie: Joelfs being an anti-heterosexual.
Mr Megal: Wellc youfll just have to put up with it.


gTeagan, guess what I have of yours? It starts with ediaryf.h


gRap has a silent eCf at the front.h


gWhy are we learning English? Ifm never going to England.h


Cftof: "What type of magnet?"
Thomo: *blank look*
Cftof: "A chick magnet, my next project"
Thomo: *laugh*
Cftof: "All I have to do is find a way to attract dense objects"


"Is infinity odd or even?"


"'C' is for Cookie!"

"0n = n∆ where n0" (The Cftof theory)

"'n' is for Cookie!'

Thomo: What isn't for cookie?
C'tof:


"Time flyfs when you throw the clock out the window."


gThe window of opportunity is closed, wherefs the crowbar?h


"Keep Australia green, have sex with frogs."


"Did you know that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population?"



"There is no way you could be a virgin, your face is totally rooted!h *prepares to defend himself*


"It has been statistically proven that the more birthdays you have the older you get."


"Donft drink drive; washing detergent is bad for your health."


"I had a wet dream about you last night, I dreamt that you were hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing."


"Chris is stupid to entertain himself; Tony is stupid to entertain us all."


"How do we save the worlds problems? Let the hungry eat the homeless. And don't let Tony breed."


gWhatfs better than a gold medal in the Para Olympics? Legs.h




The others I have would more than likly get me kicked off, so i wont bother;) Enjoy.

jebbers
11-24-2004, 03:33 AM
*looks down at sig*

my favorites...

Boba Rhett
11-24-2004, 03:39 AM
Wow. You're a terrible person, Kain. :eek:

Awesome.

LightNinja
11-24-2004, 07:36 AM
"yupiyayei soon of a b*tch" - Die hard

Mike Windu
11-24-2004, 10:09 AM
Originally posted by Kain
This is from my job.

*Manager on intercom*
The store will be closing in 5 minutes.
*Customer to me, not 5 feet from manager*
When do you guys close?
*Me staring blankly*
*Manager*
10PM.
*Customer*
How much longer, I mean.
*Me staring blankly a little bit more*

*Me standing next to 50lbs bags of dogfood*
*Customer*
Where is your dog food?
*Me staring blankly at dog food for a few seconds*
3 aisles over that way.
*Customer looks*
That way?
*Me*
Yes...that way.*leaves aisle*

*Me standing in Health and Beauty, 2 aisles from Electronics which has a huge wall of TV's on display*
*Customer*
Where do you guys sell TVs at?
*Me pointing in wrong direction*
Back corner of the store.

*Me trying to move a 35" TV alone, obviously struggling*
*Customer*
Is that heavy?
*Me, with so much sarcasm in my voice it pained me*
Nope, just trying to get it to stretch its legs out.*muttering*Shmuck.

*Me sitting in Cafe, eating a burger, obviously on break*
*Customer*
Can you help me with something?
*Me*
I suppose I could...if I wasn't on break.
*Customer*
Well can you come off of your break?
*2 other employees walk by*
Ask one of them.
*Customer visibly aggitated*
I didn't ask them, I asked you.
*Me, taking huge bite from burger so I don't have to respond for a minute*
And I didn't ask you to ask them, I told you to ask them.
*Customer, red cheeked*
Where is your manager?
*Me, grinning like the Chesire Cat*
Why?
*Customer*
I want to report how rude your being!
*Me*
Hey (manager's name), this customer has something to tell you.
*Customer explains situation*
*Manager looks at me and shakes his head*
I could write you up for this.
*Me*
He's only being a dick because he's my brother.
*Manager shakes his head and leaves*
*Customer*
I ain't your ****in brother.
*Me, chewing on burger*
Yea, but he doesn't know that.
*Customer*
Well, I want you to explain to him that I ain't your brother.
*Me*
Well, I want you to piss off but it just ain't happening, is it?
*gets up and goes into the employee lounge*

I never did get in trouble for that either.

:rofl:

I think somebody's up for a promotion!

"I'm ready... promotion. I'm ready...promotion..."

maybe that was a spongebob quote, maybe it wasnt <_< >_>

Doomie
11-24-2004, 10:53 AM
http://www.quotationspage.com

'nuff said.

but if you insist:
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." - Bill Watterson, cartoonist, "Calvin and Hobbes"

mima kake
11-24-2004, 11:18 AM
every disadvantage has its advantage.
(C. Cruyff)


Time is comming.
But never gets realy close.
(M. Kake)

SeleneRayne
11-24-2004, 04:52 PM
Funny babe :D. Work treats you so horribly. They deserve it :devburn:

Quoets:

Homer Simpson as he's eating Bart's dinner:
"Where's Bart? His dinner is getting all cold and eaten."

Gir:
"Mmm.. I like madness."

Cyborgninja
11-24-2004, 04:58 PM
Originally posted by --ZeeMan--
oooooh if we're doing food service stupidy but memorable quotes the games over and i've got it captured...


these are actual questions i've had to answer....

Does pepperoni come of a veggie lovers?

Do onions come on a meat lovers?


this next one takes the cake and eats it too....


Do you accept cash?

- No I'm sorry, fine jewels and first born children only....

LOL god THAt IS HIRLAIOUS

BongoBob
11-24-2004, 09:14 PM
*me after playing halo 2 with my friend for 15 hours straight, stopping twice for 10 minutes for snackage*

So what are you gonna do on friday?

*my friend after playing halo 2 with me for 15 hours straight, stopping twice for 10 minutes for snackage*

Well, I'm gonna fly around the world bonk hitler with a crouqet mallet go home shove pills up my nose do the mexican hat dance burn the barn eat the crops catch the priest throw him in the well kick him in the nards beat halo on legendary throw it in the air throw it in the air bleach my hair and do the white boy dance, in that order.

Kain, that's just plain f***ing cool.

Kain
11-24-2004, 10:19 PM
Originally posted by BongoBob
Kain, that's just plain f***ing cool.

Thats nothing.

Today it was sleeting, raining, and about 5 degrees in the wind, mind you the wind didn't stop for about an hour and only for about 10 seconds. I'm getting carts - pieces of plastic with METAL handles, and I've got no gloves, my coat and pants are soaked, half of my face is soaked, my feet are soaked, and I'm pushing about 10 of em. It gets difficult after 6, no less in freezing temperatures and sleet. Some stupid ass ****ing **** tard looked at me for about 2 minutes, shivering my little white ass off, and has the audacity to ask "Aren't you cold?" I turned so slow and coldly to this woman I could have frozen a lake with that stare and said plain as I could speak "Not at all, I just get my jollies from getting carts for ****heads like you."

Boba Rhett
11-24-2004, 10:25 PM
They're not trying to be mean to you or hurt you. So what if they say something stupid? Why must you be so terribly cruel to them? It's disturbingly immature of you.



Why are you not fired yet?

BongoBob
11-24-2004, 10:30 PM
So what? Stupid people annoy me, and obviously annoy, nay, piss off him.

:D

Still, it's like an act of god that you aren't fired yet.

Kain
11-24-2004, 10:31 PM
Originally posted by Boba Rhett
They're not trying to be mean to you or hurt you. So what if they say something stupid? Why must you be so terribly cruel to them? It's disturbingly immature of you.

Why are you not fired yet?

To answer that first one: I've had alot, A LOT, of horrible days that have had sooooo many stupid people in them that I've felt my IQ drop. Not to mention my job isn't truley customer service in that I have to help the customers - I have to clean up after the stupid ones who let their kids deface the store.

To answer the second one: There are 3 other guys who do my job. One makes a better cashier, another makes a better Sporting Goods operator, and the last one is so incompetent that they dubbed him "Two Cart Tony" because of his lack of an ability to get more than 2 carts from outside at a time. And I'm the strongest one they have so it makes furniture carry outs go alot quicker.

Which reminds me very little of thee dumbest customer I have seen to date. This woman comes in asking for a cable jack to R/V converter. For those of you who may not know, R/V jacks are the red, white, and yellow plugs common to most consoles, and a cable jack is where you plug in your(ironically enouigh) cable. So I show her the one we have(mind you I don't work in electronics, so I don't even remember how I got into that department to help this lady). She asks me how it works - a fair question. I explain you take the cable cord(I even show her an example) into a plug and take the other end of the cord into the TV, then you just plug the R/V jacks from the system into the jacks provided(this thing is made so that people with older TVs can play new-age systems and DVD players). Damned it all if I don't have to get it out of the package and show her the plugs and STILL have to spend a half hour explaining it 20 different ways - each time making it simpler and simpler for her to understand. I finally got it through to her how it worked and she asked how much it cost. 16.99. Oh no thats too much. Good god this stupid stupid broad...good thing her husband was there to tell her to buy it anyways or Kain woulda had to choke a bitch.

I kept my patience in check after that little cart fiasco, but if she woulda wasted my time with that...*shudders with anger just thinking about it* Need to beat someone down...Smackdown! or Halo is a must...*twitches*No time to find them - Defiance will suffice...*twitches* BloodRayne 2 is in - it must suffice...schoolgirl outfit...yum yum.

Boba Rhett
11-24-2004, 10:34 PM
Bongo, So what?

...

So what?


Lord. It's people like you, pal. Do you punch retarded people too? Grow up.

If I was an ******* to every stupid person I met, most of you would be banned. People need to be nice to each other. :(

BongoBob
11-24-2004, 10:38 PM
NO I don't punch them. I can tell the difference between a plain idiot and an actual mentally challenged person. Don't you ever watch Bill Engeval? That's how I'm like. And if you don't like it, well, sorry, that's how I am. I don't take it quite as far as Kain, but like I said, think Bill Engeval.

Kain
11-24-2004, 10:39 PM
No. I like mentally handicapped people...atleast enough to not call them retarted. Christ Rhett, I'm only human...and I have a very short fuse which I can usually keep from lighting in the first place. But just some of the people around here...UGH - whatever. You don't know.

Astrotoy7
11-25-2004, 04:34 AM
Originally posted by Boba Rhett
They're not trying to be mean to you or hurt you. So what if they say something stupid? Why must you be so terribly cruel to them? It's disturbingly immature of you.



Why are you not fired yet?

Im absolutely with Rhettski on this one......

Kain, it seems no one can do right by you can they ? You dont like your job ?? Fine. quit it. go get qualified and do something you enjoy.... in the interim, head down, mouth shut and work trooper !

:p

mtfbwya

Doomie
11-25-2004, 07:01 AM
"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever "
- Anonymous

Irony.

Kain
11-25-2004, 07:22 PM
Hey don't get me wrong - I don't hate my job. I hate the customers. Theres a suddle difference. And besides I have more stories of me helping people then I do about me getting pissed at people.

Darth Groovy
11-25-2004, 10:34 PM
"Love is chemical. The sooner you embrace, the sooner you can move past the love, and embrace the chemicals."

_Taro, (AKA Darth Groovy, 2004)

Astrotoy7
11-26-2004, 02:04 AM
Originally posted by Kain
... And besides I have more stories of me helping people then I do about me getting pissed at people.

telling customers not to use a VENTRUE ! HAHA ! A VENTRUE !!!! in Bloodlines is not helping them ! :p

jk :p

..keep on truckin :D


mtfbwya

jebbers
11-26-2004, 07:12 PM
you suck at life - Gothix

Writer
11-26-2004, 10:40 PM
"I got Nut Cancer!"

(said multiple times by multiple people while playing Halo against a guy who used the name 'Nut Cancer'... he now goes by the less vulgar 'Goatman')

The response?

"Sorry to hear that."


:D

Thrawn42689
11-27-2004, 12:40 AM
"Just kill the one with the sword first."
"Ah," Reagan says, raising his waxed and penciled eyebrows, and cocking his pompadour in Shaftoe's direction. "Smarrrt--you target them because they're the officers, right?"
"No, ****head!" Shaftoe yells. "You kill 'em because they've got ****ing swords! You ever had anyone running at you waving a ****ing sword?"

--Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon

narfblat
11-29-2004, 09:59 PM
so many dumb customers, so little forum space.

There's customers that don't listen to the whole question:

me: Would you like that to stay or to go?
customer: yes

me: What would you like to drink with that?
customer: Doesn't that combo come with a drink?
me: what drink do you want?
customer: It comes with the combo.
me: what type?
customer: The combo comes with a large, right?
(I eventually ask if they want Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, etc. This only happens on Drive-thru, where it can be hard to hear sometimes, but you'd think they would get it)

Then there's the ones who expect you to read their minds:

customer: I'd like that new burrito.
me: would you like a drink with that?
customer: doesn't one come in the combo?

Darth Groovy
11-29-2004, 11:54 PM
"Eat a bag of Hell Jed!"

_Kurgan

micks75au
11-30-2004, 01:38 AM
"The officer said i had the right to remain silent.....I just lacked the ability" - Ron White (Blue collar comedy tour)

micks75au
11-30-2004, 01:41 AM
The first lie detector was made out of the rib of a man and they have unable to improve on the model ever since

Its true too

micks75au
11-30-2004, 01:43 AM
The length of a minute depends entirely on which side of the bathroom door you are standing


A man is incomplete until he is married then he is really finished


Ladies its better to have loved and lost than spend your whole dammed life with him


and finally

The reason that doctors wear masks is so when anything goes wrong they can't be identified