View Full Version : Cantina: The Holiday Special 3!!!!!!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's that time of year again, with it being the first of advent and all...so...let the crazy, hilarious godmode festive fest begin!
*Deac is sitting in the Cantina, writing some cards. It is snowing outside*
Deac: Hmmmm. Snow. That means it's a holiday special.... what are those evil little Darkstars planning now?
11-28-2004, 09:01 AM
*Hal wonders in with Allessa on his arm.*
Hal: At this rate you'll be in the main thread before New-year's
Allessa: Does that mean I get paid more
*Flax is already crying in a corner.*
*A mail-man enters*
Mail Man: Here you, Mr Starkiller
*Deac reads the letter*
Deac: OH NO!
12-02-2004, 01:54 PM
Matt: What's wrong?
Director: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! YOU AREN'T FROM THIS UNIVERSE!
*disappears in a puff of smoke*
Greer: That's odd....I felt something familiar about him, as if though we were created by the same person. Oh well. What's that letter say Deac?
12-04-2004, 11:27 PM
((Holy sh---umkeys, I didn't even SEE this thread. :D
Will reply later :xp:))
12-05-2004, 06:30 AM
Nom laughs at Greer.
"It's highly likely," he said. "I've spoken at times to my creator. He has so many others running around that I just don't know how he can stand it."
"Some have gone inactive, of course," Tarila added. "It's only logical that when a specific universe drops out of sight, the people in it would be inactive."
((Tarila is speaking of when threads go off the page:D ))
12-05-2004, 09:47 AM
*Someone comes flying through the window, it's Jammes. He picks himself up and dusts himself off.*
*Sellenna walks in.*
Sellenna: Has anyone seen Taklin, what ever you don't let him have any...... Oh no.
*Flax has just downed another beer.*
Flax: Berr, id god!
Sellenna: He still has berevement issues.
Deac: This time...it's worse than ever!
As you know, as part of the festive season it's up to me, Reletha
-And me, Lokpihet
To try and ruin it for you all by hatching a crazy half baked plot that would get me banned in any other thread but gives you an excuse to get all your old mates together and stop us.
But not this year. This year, we've taken steps to make sure we actually win for a change.
We've kidnapped Deac."
Orthos: Hey, that's not right...you're right there!
Deac: "By now you will have noticed you have not been kidnapped, but the English Guy who started the cantina and named you after him. In this way we will control what gets posted so we win. MUAHAHAHAHAHA" It goes on in that vain.
Orthos: What dastardly egotistical plot is this?
*Notices he has been stabbed again*
Orthos: Crap. Guess they mean business. Help.
12-06-2004, 12:38 AM
*Hal pulls out the knife and Allessa heels the wound.*
Allessa: I'd tell you not to do anything too energetic for a couple of days but....
12-06-2004, 06:56 AM
"Well that was peculiar," Tarila muttered. She shrugged and turned to Nom. "Do you have any idea what's going on here?"
"Not a clue," he answered.
How are we supposed to know?
"Who was that?" Tarila demanded. (I laugh)
Must you ask, Tarila? It is I! Your creator is speaking to you.
"Oh, I see!" she exclaimed. "I thought I was getting voices in my head again.
What do you think I am if not voices in your head?
"Good question," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "I have no idea."
And that's as it should be. Back to you ignorance with you...
"Love how he just pops in, says absolutely nothing and leaves again," Nom muttered.
12-06-2004, 06:32 PM
Zey: Where the hell am I?
Deac: Come on guys! We have to save...Syrnl!
Deac: Damn! They've got control of him!
12-07-2004, 10:13 AM
*Rwos teleports in*
Rwos: I sense something...elusive...
*He sniffs the air*
Rwos: Oh. It's the Holiday Special. Let's go caroling!
Deac: No time for that now...we have to save the Cantina itself! To the writing offices!
Orthos: We have offices now?
Deac: I think so. Either that or writer Deac is just some dude sitting at his computer chuckling maniacally.
12-07-2004, 03:25 PM
"If you ask me, that's the most likely possibility," Tarila huffs, replying to what Deac said.
12-07-2004, 07:38 PM
Rwos: That would be our creator..."Redwing". Speaking of which, nice how s/he cribs a character's name because s/he was too lazy to think of hi/r own original screenname. On the other hand, your creator did the exact same thing...*He pauses for a moment* I also like how s/he edits what I'm saying to prevent me from revealing hi/r gender.
Me: Ha ha. ^_^
*Rwos shakes his head* Some people can just be really annoying. [Me: Hey!] Anyway. You say your creator has a writing office?
12-08-2004, 01:11 AM
Hal: If the Darkstars have Deac we're going to need some more firepower.
*Drago appears, then Daskin and PtH Jammes.*
*Allessa taps her foot.*
*She continues tapping.*
Alleassa: You are going to bring Flax out of that.
*Flax wimpers and blubs.*
BD: How am I supposed to do that? I'm not a God!
*She continues tapping.*
BD: Okay, OKay, WOMEN!
Sophae: What? Did my contract finally get renewed?
BD: Get Flax out of the druken stupor and then do not "destract" him.
Deac: Perchance Deac was a name he already used and so decided to name himself after him and then create me.
*Walks into wall*
Earth, Darkstar Tower
Lokpihet: So how much was this evil base again?
Reletha: Dirt cheap. Some business wanted rid of it. A shame. They had potential
*She scratches the word "Enron" from the wall*
Lokpihet: And our illustrious creator?
Reletha: In the box.
*She taps a large sealed box*
Real Deac: Ummmm...please let me out?
12-08-2004, 10:32 AM
It sounds like somebody's confused.
Tarila: I'd imagine there are more than one of us confused!
Nom: Both of us are! It seems our creator might be as well.
You're correct. Let's bring in somebody else to help out.
(Alyssa Renolin Solo blinks into view and looks around.)
Everybody, meet my first character ever to appear on the wide and wonderful world we call the Internet.
Alyssa: A wonderful introduction, sir, but I must ask... where am I?
Tarila: What does it matter? You're smart, right?
(Alyssa nods slowly.)
Alyssa: What does that have to do with where I am, though? And who are you??
Tarila: You'll meet my brother and I in another year or so, but for now, understand that you're not in your own universe any more.
Calm down, Alyssa. You know you're smart. I know your smart. You're here to help us make some sense out of whatever is going on.
(Alyssa looks around uncertainly.)
Alyssa: Which is what exactly?
Nom: Nobody knows.
Alyssa: This will take a while...
12-10-2004, 02:27 PM
Rwos: *thinks about that for a moment* Nah. *Looks up* So, it would be nice to have a bit of firepower whom I actually know the names of, y'know. I'm not in PtH.
Me: I don't think Jammes is either, actually...
*Chere, Cody, Jason, and K'Warra pop in*
Rwos: Uh...interesting choices.
Me: What? I was just writing them! They happened to be hanging out at the moment!
Rwos: All the same, some other Blades would be nice...
Chere: What, are we not good enough for Beakface here?
Rwos: I choose to ignore the tone of that comment.
Jason: Excuse me, I'd like to get back to moping---er, *cough*, grading papers. Besides, no one here knows who I am.
Me: Fine. *Snaps fingers. Jason vanishes*
K'Warra: So much for the prat. Ah well.
Chere: No one here knows me, either. Or Cody. Right?
Me: Hey, you're gonna be in PtH, so they will...
Chere: And K'Warra is a mind-controlled automaton in Cantina at the moment, am I wrong?
Me: I...er...geez! I can't win here! *Snaps fingers. Chere and Cody vanish. Glares at K'Warra*
K'Warra: Hey, I have no problems with you leaving me out from under mind control. Besides, you know that's getting to be a serious continuity violation, right?
Me: That's because Sejhan doesn't exist in your 'real' continuity. That would be copyright infringement.
K'Warra: No excuse.
Me: Shut up. *mutters something about conjuring time warps to solve the situation*
K'Warra: So, Rwos, looks like it's just you and me. We'd better not push it, or our not-so-illustrious creator might get her/himself kidnapped along with Deac.
Rwos: No chance of other Blades, then?
Me: Hey, they're all busy. Doing whatever they do when they're not in my head.
K'Warra: The imagination shudders.
Me: Hey, I could go grab a couple other characters to keep you company...I think Lily is obliquely flirting with Farran in the lounge again...
Rwos: *quickly* No, no! That'll be fine. *coughs* Just fine.
Deac: Ummm...one question....how do we get out of here?
Orthos: Pffft. Not being dead for more than 24 hours you wouldn't know!
*Goes to the non-alcoholic beer cabinet and opens it, revealing the exit*
Orthos: It's all there.
Deac: Didn't we just drive to Earth last time.
*Syrnl enters. Live studio audience cheers*
Deac: Oh brother....
Enron Darkstar Towers
Reletha: Ahhh. They're coming here. Excellent. Then we make our demands.
Lokpihet: What demands?
Reletha: We'll think of something.
12-13-2004, 01:06 AM
Flax: I feel we need more punch on this mission.
Sophae: So you've finally stopped moping?
Flax: Well since you're here.... besides, BD said he'd [Censored due to secrecy] I still think we need more....
Sophae: BD doesn't have anymore characters!
Flax: But what about....
BD: Flax, shut it or I'll make you shorter than you already are!
12-13-2004, 03:44 PM
Alyssa clears her throat, alerting her creator to the fact that she wants to speak with him.
What is it?
Alyssa: Am I really needed here? After all, I don't know anyone and they don't know me.
Tarila: We already established the fact that my brother and I know you, though you don't yet know us. We have also established the fact that you're smart. Therefore, perhaps you may have overlooked the fact that you do seem to be needed.
Tarila has a point there, Alyssa.
(Alyssa answers crossly)
Alyssa: Well fine then! It's not like I had anything else I was doing... not like taking care of Cat is anything important.
Oh, so you want him too?
(Alyssa begins to protest, but a full grown tiger appears suddenly and approaches her, growling at the others.)
Alyssa: I told you not to!
And I did... oops!
Alyssa: Oh, shut up and take him back.
(The tiger, meanwhile has pinned Nom to the floor and is growling menacingly at him.)
Nom: Ugh! I just wish you were from a few years later! You'd know me by then!
(The tiger growls again and Alyssa calls him off.)
Alyssa: No! Cat, come back now.
(With a final growl, the tiger returns to Alyssa's side.)
Alyssa: If you're not going to take him back, then maybe we should get on with this.
I would, but I have no idea what we're doing.
Tarila: Aha! It comes directly from his mouth!
(The tiger growls again.)
Alyssa: Shut up, Cat. (It obeys)
Nom: So does anybody really know what we're doing?
Deac: We're going to see the boss!
*Deac runs through the open door and into...*
Deac: Hey wait! This place isn't real either!
*Notices a hastly scratched message in a table*
Deac: Hmmm. It's a web address...
Deac: Good lord!
12-14-2004, 11:02 PM
Kal: What is it, Master?
12-15-2004, 05:56 AM
(Alyssa enters the room, followed by Cat. Nom and Tarila are not far behind.)
Alyssa: Care to share it with us?
Deac: Not only has a mysterious L. Okpihet taken over the former Enron building, but you don't even have to pay to read our adventures!
12-15-2004, 07:41 AM
Tarila: Go figure.
12-15-2004, 10:33 AM
Flax: So at least we know where we're going.
12-15-2004, 10:53 AM
Alyssa: Sort of... what's Enron? And more importantly, where?
I sort of forgot to inform my characters of my planet's history...
Tarila: Who cares? It's just a building, right?
Alyssa: Will somebody answer me??
12-15-2004, 10:58 PM
Sophae: Enron was an evil corperation based on Earth, however this planets lawyers are much more insiduous and they managed to force Enron into bankruptcy. In the Emperor ever tryed to take over Earth he'd be sued for infringing civil liberties.
Deac: Quick! To the Deac mobile!
Orthos: You have a mobile?
Deac: I'm hoping real Deac does
*Goes outside to find a bicycle in Deac's parking space*
Syrnl: Stupid environmentalist. Or maybe he's to stupid to drive.
Deac: Heck. We'll just hot-wire Redwing's car.
12-16-2004, 06:46 AM
Alyssa: We could take Wildjedi's... after all, I don't think he'd have much of a problem. It's not his. It's his mom's!
Tarila: It's that one! The silver mini van there.
Nom: And Wildjedi has the keys!
Again, shut up...
12-16-2004, 07:09 AM
((OOS: [Ya, in this thread? Who would've thought? ;)] If I recall correctly, real-Deac lives in England...if not, I'll correct my post :D))
Rwos: I'd be all for that, except 'Redwing' doesn't have a car...
K'Warra: That's right. She, or he, or it, or whatever, rides the bus. *Grins* Two hours every day to school. We can steal 'its' bus pass if you want.
Me: ...Shut up. >< *Hides*
K'Warra: On the bright side, I know all about Earth. Because I live here! In an alternate universe, anyway...
*K'Warra walks across the street to the first vehicle he sees. Breaks the lock and opens the door*
K'Warra: Hey! We're in England! Bloody Brits driving on the wrong side of the road...
Rwos: Aren't you English?
K'Warra: Ya, but I haven't really lived here since the Middle Ages. Someone else want to drive? I get shotgun.
12-16-2004, 07:13 AM
Alyssa: Umm... I'd say yes, but this thing has wheels under it... I'm not sure I could.
(Nom and Tarila agree)
England? No, no. I couldn't either. It's the wrong side of the road! No, somebody else can volunteer. In fact, I think I've said too much already. I'll leave you all to whatever madness you're about to encounter and go... um... study BIOLOGY!! Yeah, that's it! Biology!
Alyssa: I hate it when he does that...
[It is indeed correct. They are in England...BUT Enron/Darkstar tower is in the U.S]
Deac: That's right. We need to cross the ocean.
Orthos: But how?
Deac: To...the airport!
*After a long and difficult bus journey there [this is English public transport after all...]
Attendant: Welcome. Where would you like to fly today?
Deac: New York, please.
Attendant: How many tickets.
Deac: This many *Points to everyone*
Attendant: Please remove any metallic items you are carrying.
*Deac walks through the metal detector. It goes off*
Attendant: Do you have any metal limbs or plates?
Deac: Several...*begins pointing them out*
Orthos: We'll be here a while...
12-16-2004, 09:30 AM
(Tarila frowns and begins to remove all metal items... this includes two swords, six knives of various lengths, and two pouches of throwing knives. Nom removes his sniper rifle, along with the other assorted rifles he has strapped to his back. Then, he removes the long knife hanging at his side. Alyssa removes two lightsabers and a long metal pole she'd been carrying on her back. Cat merely growls)
(The attendant screams at the sight of the tiger and runs away.)
Alyssa: Do you think that means we can take our weapons back?
12-17-2004, 12:49 PM
*Greer passes through without any problems, then turns off metal detector disabeler*
12-17-2004, 12:53 PM
"Showoff," Alyssa mutters, taking her weapons and going through the metal detector caring very little about the thing going off since the attendant had run off. Nom and Tarila did the same. Cat simply followed Alyssa and was the only one of their little party who did not set off the metal detector since he had not metallic objects to carry. Not many tigers do:p
12-17-2004, 01:26 PM
K'Warra: So, you really think they'll let us on the plane now, geniuses?
Rwos: Deac, you up for some Jedi mind tricks?
Deac: Awww. I stink at those.
Syrnl: So do I...hmmm...
Deac: I'll try anyway... You want to let us on the plane
Attendant: Hey! You're like that guy out the movie!
Syrnl: Hey...we're going to a convention. In New York. These are all just plastic. Come on...who has a "real" lightsaber anyways!
12-19-2004, 05:49 AM
Alyssa: Good gracious, do you really think you'll get us on like that?
(Then, after raising her voice, she uses a mind trick)
Alyssa: We have tickets.
Attendant: You have tickets. Show them to me.
Alyssa: We have already shown them to you.
Attendant: You have already shown them to me.
Alyssa: We may board now.
Attendant: You may board now. Have a nice flight.
(The attendant then sees Cat and runs away screaming. Alyssa laughs.)
Alyssa: Cat seems to be the only thing we need around here... everybody runs at the sight of him.
(As the attendant runs away...)
We have a large party of... people. They've got a tiger with them and they're boarding the next flight to the US! Let US customs know what's headed their way... and see if you can get rid of that tiger before it kills somebody!
12-19-2004, 05:12 PM
*Kaildor was sitting in his isle seat when Deac and co were boarding*
Kaildor: Keep it down will ya, some of us are trying to sleep
*pulls a brown hat over his eyes*
Kaildor: Bloody Tourists
Passenger: Don't I know you from somewhere.
Deac: I just have one of those faces...er... I'm playing JC in Deus Ex the Movie.
12-20-2004, 10:11 AM
(Alyssa smiles and nods, but when she gets the chance, she whispers to Deac.)
Alyssa: You're what who in what the what?
Hmm, yes it's me again. I must say, I don't bother educating my characters in video games or any other form of technology or entertainment which exists on my home planet... sorry, you'll have to do quite a bit of explaining.
Tarila: And of course, you don't have the time to explain it yourself... typical.
Nom: You'd hope our creator would have the time for us.
Shut up! I've got to finish about 11 modules of a biology book within the next 2 days!
Alyssa: Mmmhmm, sure you do. That explains perfectly why you're here talking to us right now.
Give me a break! I'm taking a little break, so what?
Nom: So finish up so you don't have to take a break!
Oh, fine... I'll be back [/Governor Arnold]
Tarila: Don't you love it how we can boss him around?
[Time to get this moving]
*The plane lands and they arrive at the Enron building*
Deac: In there? That's a long way to go.
*Begins climbing stairs*
Syrnl: Anyone else want to take the lift?
12-22-2004, 06:43 AM
Sophae: The lift is broken, this is Earth, remember? Nothing ever works.
Allessa: Well would one of you boys like to fix it.
Flax: That's for when your car breaks down, we're not all that stupid. How the hell do you expect me to fix a lift? I don't even have a hydro spanner.
Hal: I'll fix it for you!
Dasken: No, I'll fix it for you!
Hal: No, she's my fiencee, I'll do it.
*They begin to fight.*
*Flax puts his head in his hands and drags his fingers down his face.*
Deac: Then...the stairs...
Syrnl: Yes the stairs, and then?
Deac: Up, up up and up. And then...
Syrnl: The tunnel...
*Deac looks puzzled*
Deac: No, the office.
Syrnl: Yes, the office. We meant that.
*Starts climbing stairs*
12-23-2004, 09:32 AM
(Alyssa turns to Deac)
Alyssa: You spend time with some very strange people...
(Cat bounds up the stairs ahead of everybody)
Alyssa: No, CAT! Get back here!
(Cat growls, but returns to Alyssa's side.)
Tarila: Strange people abound here. You talk to an overgrown cat.
(Nom and Tarila chuckle and head up the stairs.)
12-23-2004, 01:46 PM
*Flax and DRago climb the stairs, folled by Sellenna and Sophae, Hal and Dasken continue to fight.*
*Deac, Syrnl and Orthos burst in the head office to see a large struggling crate and a figure sat in a chair with their back turned*
Deac: Alright, Lokpihet, hand over Real Deac
*The case shudders*
Lokpihet: We're in here
*The chair turns and is occupied by none other than...*
Deac: REAL DEAC!
Real Deac: Yes. You see, I masterminded this whole scheme to make a good holiday special. As you can see, it didn't go quite as planned.
Syrnl: Well with those yanks and their finals...
Real Deac: Yes...a shame. No matter, I think we got the intended job of the holiday special done
*Reletha and Lokpihet get out of the box*
Lokpihet: Oh yeah, this was just a plan to lure you all...to the Christmas party
*Streamers fall from the ceiling and a band begins to play*
Deac: Is this just random or a total cop-out ending
*Walks into wall*
*Real Deac chuckles*
12-24-2004, 06:30 PM
*Alysara walks in on Cracken, who is sitting infront of giant red button that says "Push only to Destroy the Planet Deac is on. (In small print) Only if you really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really want to."
Alysara: So, dad, you gonna waste 'em?
Cracken: Nah, i'll just watch them get around earth. it'll be funny.
Then i'll blow 'em up.
*Camra pans out to reveal.... The Crimson Star! as the Earths moon!
DUN DUN DUN!!!*
Crimson Star: Hey, wasn't i blown to heck awhile back?
Me: Yeah, but i'd be funny. That, and i haven't used a WMD in a bit, so i'm feeling quite bored. Besides, Europe sucks.
12-26-2004, 07:25 AM
*Craken hears feet tapping behind him.*
Sellenna: So Euope sucks, huh?
Sophie: I believe the Earthlings have a technichal term for where you are right now, "Deep ****."
*The rest of BD's characters stand in the doorway. Including a very irate Agamarian Army.*
Real Deac: Europe sucks eh?
*He types some more and Cracken walks into a wall*
Real Deac: I can godmode real bad when the urge takes me.
*Syrnl grabs the keyboard*
Syrnl: Give me that!
12-26-2004, 11:59 AM
*Rwos looks up at Earth's moon*
Rwos: That's no moon! That's a---God, I can't finish this. Who exactly is writing my lines?
Me: That would be me, you know, the person whose head you live in. And who doesn't make you pay rent.
K'Warra: So are we all going to mysteriously appear on the moon now? I think someone needs to save BD's overrated army from Cracken's overrated Sleeper.
12-26-2004, 04:19 PM
Alyssa looks around...
Alyssa: Um, Wildjedi? Are you there?
Of course, I am!
Alyssa: That's great. Can Cat and I get back to our time period now?
Oh, I suppose.
Alyssa: Thank you!
(Alyssa and Cat vanish in a bright flash.)
Nom and Tarila really don't get much action... Alyssa will be joining the main thread soon...
Tarila: Oh, good. She's cool... for a Jedi.
12-26-2004, 04:49 PM
(((Now what in gods name is this madness?)))
12-27-2004, 05:40 AM
*The Army cradle their blaster rifles.*
Flax: Prepare the heavy weapons!
Hal: Uh, Dad? The Tanks don't fit through the corridors.
Flax: Then make the corridors fit.
Drago: Oh I'm going to enjoy this.
12-27-2004, 07:10 AM
Kaildor wanders into the office where the christmas part and picked up a small glass of champigan and began talking to the potted plant in the conner
12-27-2004, 08:55 AM
Cracken: I didn't say Europe sucks, my author did!
Me: *Unseen voice from above* well... he's got a point, a really bad one, but it's true.
Cracken: so HA! Ya'lll better leave or i'll get the hose......
Alysara: Dad, there are no hoses...
Cracken:... thanks hun, that was my bluff ya know.... now i just gotta kill them all in a rediculusly overkill kinda way. (sighs)
*Insert mass glowy and screaming type stuff here, ending in a big giant OMFGWTFBBQ blast emiting from Cracken, killing everyone, and blowing up the Crimson star*
*The characters are left in an endless void*
Deac: Great job. No more sequels for us now. Oh well
Orthos: Who's up for Dungeons and Dragons!
12-28-2004, 08:09 AM
((Heh, D&D. A year ago I didn't know what that was...then my friend's soon-to-be-stepdad got her into it, and she got me and a bunch of our friends into it, and I got a shiny new Player's Handbook for Christmas ;) and did I mention I won't be around New Year's Day because of it? :D
It's an interesting system, and since I love world mechanics I've played around with converting various races like my gargoyles to D&D...and maybe "Blade" would be interesting as a template + prestige class...too bad the magic system is way different from the Aetherverse (Rwos' universe) :D
[Just got the money to order the complete rulebook set....]
vBulletin®, Copyright ©2000-2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.