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Shmargin
03-14-2005, 02:14 PM
March 14, 2005 Ex-Fan To Suggest LucasArts Name Change! After reading through the last 5 years of press releases from LucasArts, it has come to our (my) attention that LucasArts no longer makes games, just merchandise, so in celebration of LucasArts giving up all hopes of being an original company, and deciding to only release games that include at least one "Battle Of Hoth" scene, we (I) have decided to suggest that "LucasArts" formally change their name to "Star Wars Crap Ltd.," or SWC Ltd., for short. We'll (I'll) be looking forward to this years E3 where representatives from Lucas should announce the name change inbetween telling us how to sell the same crappy Star Wars games to fan-boys (and girls!) over and over again through cutting edge market research and subliminal messaging.


Yay for Lucas:



February 8, 2005 Star Wars® Knights of the Old Republic® II: The Sith Lords

January 20, 2005 LUCASARTS ANNOUNCES NEW PC TITLE STAR WARS®: EMPIRE AT WAR™

November 23, 2004 STAR WARS® KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC® II: THE SITH LORDS™ GOES GOLD

September 21, 2004 LUCASARTS BLASTS ONTO STORE SHELVES WITH THE RELEASE OF STAR WARS BATTLEFRONT™ FOR THE PS2, XBOX AND PC

September 2, 2004 STAR WARS BATTLEFRONT™ GOES GOLD

ugust 25, 2004 LUCASARTS AND ELECTRONIC ARTS K.K. AGREE TO LAUNCH FULLY-LOCALIZED STAR WARS GALAXIES™: AN EMPIRE DIVIDED™ IN JAPAN

July 27, 2004 LUCASARTS FOCUSES THE FORCE ON UPCOMING STAR WARS®: EPISODE III VIDEO GAME

May 4, 2004 LUCASARTS E3 2004 LINEUP TO INCLUDE
STAR WARS® KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC® II: THE SITH LORDS™

April 21, 2004 LUCASARTS ANNOUNCES DETAILS OF STAR WARS GALAXIES®: JUMP TO LIGHTSPEED™

March 15, 2004 LUCASARTS TO DEPLOY MERCENARIES™ (yeah, more point and shoot games, thats what the market needs)

February 13, 2004 LUCASARTS REVEALS DETAILS ON STAR WARS REPUBLIC COMMANDO™

January 13, 2004 LUCASARTS ANNOUNCES DETAILS ON STAR WARS BATTLEFRONT™

July 9, 2003 Star Wars®: Knights of the Old Republic™ Available July 16!

July 3, 2003 The Most Successful MMO Launch: Star Wars Galaxies™: An Empire Divided™

June 17, 2003 Star Wars Galaxies™: An Empire Divided™ Will Release June 26, 2003

May 14, 2003 LucasArts' Acclaimed Rogue Squadron® Series Returns in Star Wars® Rogue Squadron® III: Rebel Strike™ for Nintendo GameCube

May 13, 2003 Announcing Star Wars®: Republic Commando™, a Dark and Intense First-Person Shooter

May 2, 2003 Announcing Fall 2003 Release for PC Version of Star Wars®: Knights of the Old Republic™

April 11, 2003 LucasArts Announces Dantooine as Planet for Star Wars® Galaxies™: An Empire Divided™

April 3, 2003 Highly Acclaimed Jedi Knight Series Returns With Star Wars® Jedi Knight®: Jedi Academy™

February 5, 2003 Star Wars®: The Clone Wars™ for Xbox Live This Spring

December 20, 2002 LucasArts Confirms April 15, 2003 Release for Star Wars Galaxies™: An Empire Divided™

August 14, 2002 Star Wars® Galactic Battlegrounds Saga

May 21, 2002 Star Wars® Jedi Knight®II: Jedi Outcast™ Coming to GameCube™ and Xbox™

May 16, 2002 Star Wars®: The Clone Wars™

April 26, 2002 Star Wars® Jedi Knight®II: Jedi Outcast™

April 4, 2002 Star Wars® Jedi Starfighter™ TV Ad Campaign

March 21, 2002 Star Wars® Bounty Hunter™ Coming in Fall 2002

March 19, 2002 Star Wars® Jedi Starfighter™ Coming to Xbox

February 28, 2002 LucasArts Chooses Xbox and PC as Platforms for Star Wars®: Knights of the Old Republic™

February 14, 2002 Star Wars® Galactic Battlegrounds™: Clone Campaigns™

December 5, 2001 Star Wars® Rogue Squadron® II: Rogue Leader™ Blasts Away Competition

October 25, 2001 Star Wars® Jedi Starfighter™

October 4, 2001 Star Wars® Starfighter™ for PC Windows

May 17, 2001 Star Wars® Jedi Knight® II: Jedi Outcast™

May 17, 2001 Space-Based Expansion for Star Wars® Galaxies™

May 17, 2001 Star Wars® Rogue Squadron® II: Rogue Leader™

May 17, 2001 Star Wars® Racer Revenge™

May 17, 2001 Star Wars® Obi-Wan™

May 17, 2001 Star Wars® Starfighter™ Special Edition

May 17, 2001 Star Wars® Galactic Battlegrounds™

January 24, 2001 Star Wars Battle For Naboo™ for PC

November 29, 2000 LucasArts Announces Star Wars Galaxies

July 25, 2000 Star Wars® Knights of the Old Republic™

May 10, 2000 Star Wars Starfighter™


Yeah, and so on and so forth. I wonder if one day, some one will show the new guys that run LucasArts the games that made them famous (maybe we should send them a CD with ScummVM on it so they can play them) and they might decide to do something new, since even when they release a non Star Wars title, its still a half assed action game that gets played for a week then erased off the hard drive for lack of replayability...Even though I still enjoy playing Day of the Tentacle....

Skinkie
03-15-2005, 05:21 PM
I always find it disturbing to look at the difference between 1997 and the following years here. (http://mixnmojo.com/php/site/gamedblist.php)

Shmargin
03-16-2005, 04:04 PM
I came up with 2 possible ideas:

Idea #1: I goto college and take business management, and computer programming, from there, I apply at LucasArts as an intern. At this point, once inside the belly of the beast, I will begin dropping hints that all their stuff sucks. After a while, I would use my master programming skills to wow them with something like a Battle of Hoth scene. After they hire me for coming up with an amazing Battle for Hoth scene, I will present them with nothing but amazing looking and humerous adventure games, and create my own market research data to prove to them it will sell, then I become president of LucasArts and return them to the days before they sucked and we become the most popular game developer for the PC.


Idea #2: Run into LucasArts extremely drunk, and shouting, yelling about how "I remember when you guys were cool" and then break down in tears on the floor and get arrested. Mixnmojo then has to post the news article about my drunken rampage, and out of pity, LucasArts makes us an adventure game that doesnt involve finding keys and mowing down bad guys with a machine gun.

So what do you guys think?

edlib
03-17-2005, 08:59 PM
My vote is for Idea #3... which is identical to #2, except it involves running through the halls armed to the teeth with assault weapons, as well as strapping yourself with explosives and canisters of biological agents.

Say you got the idea off of one of thier latest games.

Skinkie
03-17-2005, 11:12 PM
That is quite possible the smartest idea I have ever heard in my life. What if we all did it? Would that be even better? I'll let you decide.

Shmargin
03-20-2005, 04:16 AM
we better be careful, the us government is gonna read that post and say were with bin laden and come arrest us for being terrorists...But yeah lets do it, PREPARE TO EAT YOUR OWN TEETH LUCASARTS....Wait...theyre in California, you guys buy me a ticket, and I'm there....

Metallus
03-20-2005, 04:36 AM
Wait a minute, there's a NEW Mexico?

toenail1
03-20-2005, 09:43 PM
:confused: A new mexico?!?!?

Isn't one enough?:(

SMNMX
03-20-2005, 10:16 PM
As resident Californian mental patient at this board, I make it my job to run screaming through LEC's halls. I cannot, however, guarantee the state of my clothing (or lack of) at any given moment.

Setion
03-21-2005, 05:05 PM
Tell them fantasy games are old hat.

Then submit the nerd argument that deals with how Star Wars isn't science fiction.

Also, make a case involving not only the bias shown in the games released, but the emoticons being heavily Star Wars related. I mean what the **** is that thing with ears? Are those wings? Did something deficate on it's sassy expressioned head? That'll hit them right in the pants.

What works best, in my opinion, is getting real awnry on a message board.

Here:

Star Wars sucks balls, and LucasArts should be renamed LucasFarts. (I'd use Lucas****, but it wouldn't be as catchy)

Deep in the belly of the internet, I stab at thee!

SyntheticGerbil
03-22-2005, 04:06 AM
This reminds me of the time when I made fun of that kid by saying STAR WARS GAME DEVELOPER after he said it.

I bet you guys don't remember that. My joke was way cool compared to this thread.

Man am I golden.

Setion
03-22-2005, 05:02 AM
And yet I'm diamond coated einsteinium.

Funny how that works.

Ray Jones
03-22-2005, 11:18 AM
Funny how we three are representing the peaceful together.

SyntheticGerbil
03-23-2005, 02:25 AM
Man, Ray, you really love this thing.

Shmargin
03-23-2005, 11:44 PM
blah blah blah

**insert reply**

I like to eat toenails

Shmargin
03-25-2005, 11:24 PM
did i say i like to eat toenails....i dont remember saying that....maybe i did...maybe i was drunk...weird....

Skinkie
03-26-2005, 01:27 AM
Well you definately said it :¬:

Edit: So abused.

Shmargin
03-26-2005, 04:33 AM
Well i asked for it, its cool.

toenail1
03-26-2005, 10:52 PM
I'm appalled...

SyntheticGerbil
03-27-2005, 04:55 AM
Ew... cellar door. Ew. Darko.