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Joetheeskimo
04-22-2005, 02:06 PM
(dumbwarnings.com)

A list of actual labels on different products:

Christmas Lights - For indoor or outdoor use only.

Komatsu Floodlight - This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark.

Fire Extinguisher - Caution: Non-Flammable.

Earplugs - These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe.

Mattress - Warning: Do not attempt to swallow.

Matches - Caution: Contents may catch fire.

American Airlines Peanuts - Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.

Lava Lamp - Do not ingest.

Block of Lead (One Ton) - Do not eat or inhale, if so induce vomiting.

Diving Board - All divers must land in water!

Hair Coloring - Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Tampons - Final step: "Pull up underwear".

Mentadent Dual Action Mouthwash - WARNING: If an amount considerably larger than being used is swallowed, seek professional assistance or contact a poison control center immediately.

Dial Soap - Use like regular soap.

Air Conditioner - Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

Blow Dryer - Warning: Do not use while sleeping.

Japanese Food Processor - Not to be used for anything else.

Vacuum Cleaner - 1. Do not use to pick up gasoline or flammable liquids 2. Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning.

Various Computers - Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue.

Japanese GameCube Instruction Manual - Do not attempt to stick head inside deck, which may result in injury.

Sony Vaio PCV-J200 Computer - Warning! Disconnect telephone lines before opening!

Tesco Fruit Juice Carton - On bottom side: "Keep Upright".

Silk Soy Milk - Shake well and buy often

Volvic Natural Mineral Water - Bottle exclusively designed for the use of Volvic Natural Mineral Water. Do not refill.

Moet White Star Champagne - Warning: Remove label before placing in microwave.

Slush Puppy Cup - This ice may be cold

Coca-Cola Bottle (Croatia) - Use only for drinks.

Mark and Spencer's Bread Pudding - Warning: Product will be hot after heating.

Mama Instant Noodles - Keep dry, out of sunlight and chemicals.

Dolly Madison Bakery Cherries - Artificially Flavored Real Fruit!

Heinz Ketchup - Instructions: Put on food.

Hormel Pepperoni - Do not eat packet.

jon_hill987
04-22-2005, 02:20 PM
This is so old it saw the dinosaus die out... that said it is still funny.

Dagobahn Eagle
04-22-2005, 02:23 PM
Christmas Lights - For indoor or outdoor use only.
Old.

American Airlines Peanuts - Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
Even older.

Air Conditioner - Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
:D

Mark and Spencer's Bread Pudding - Warning: Product will be hot after heating.
No?! You're kidding me!

Heinz Ketchup - Instructions: Put on food.
That's meant to be funny. Other labels include "Not Green". I don't see what it's doing on this list?

IG-64
04-22-2005, 04:23 PM
http://img254.echo.cx/img254/7363/crank7mt.jpg

But still good. :^:

TheMadDoofer
04-22-2005, 04:45 PM
My favorite one isn't listed:

Chainsaw manual: Do not try to stop blades with hands or genitals.

Joetheeskimo
04-23-2005, 03:07 PM
Originally posted by Dagobahn Eagle
That's meant to be funny. Other labels include "Not Green". I don't see what it's doing on this list? [/B]

It's dumb.

My favorite one isn't listed:

Chainsaw manual: Do not try to stop blades with hands or genitals.

:rofl:

Rogue Nine
04-23-2005, 03:23 PM
Mentadent Dual Action Mouthwash - WARNING: If an amount considerably larger than being used is swallowed, seek professional assistance or contact a poison control center immediately.

This one actually makes sense.

Joetheeskimo
04-23-2005, 03:27 PM
Originally posted by Rogue Nine
This one actually makes sense.

Not quite...this was posted because it was mistyped (though it's probably been fixed since):

Mentadent Dual Action Mouthwash - WARNING: If an amount considerably larger than being used is swallowed, seek professional assistance or contact a poison control center immediately.

How can you swallow more than you put in your mouth? They meant to say "larger than recommended usage amount..."

IG-64
04-23-2005, 04:52 PM
Originally posted by joetheeskimo5
Not quite...this was posted because it was mistyped (though it's probably been fixed since):



How can you swallow more than you put in your mouth? They meant to say "larger than recommended usage amount..."

"using" mouthwash isn't the same thing as "putting it in your mouth".

If you swallowed too much mouthwash you'd have to contact a poison control center, or you'd probably die.

In otherwords, don't chug it.

El Sitherino
04-23-2005, 04:57 PM
The side effects of frivolous lawsuits. Gotta love them, eh?

Like the slip 'n' slide's "Do not use unless slide is wet"

BongoBob
04-23-2005, 05:20 PM
Old, but still freakin funny :D

Matress:Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

But it looked so tasty :p

jebbers
04-23-2005, 08:53 PM
Craftsman Electric Wood Plane- Do not stand on and/or ride.:confused:


i seen it when i read thru my grandpa's instruction manuel...i laffed so hard....

El Sitherino
04-23-2005, 11:49 PM
I remember back when cd-r's were relatively new, you'd find some labels that said "not for physical burning. Do not place near or in fire"

jon_hill987
04-24-2005, 05:42 AM
This one was in the book that came with my mouse:

pg1:
HEALTH WARNING!
Use of a keyboard or pointing device may be linked to serious injuries or disorders.

The rest of this page is about the disorders

pg2:
conecting your mouse for dummies

pg3:
Using your mouse for dummies

pg4:
cleaning your mouse for dummies

pg 5-11:

The healthy computer guide, this bit is really good, it tells all about how to sit and use your computer so you don't get as many of the aforementioned disorders.

THE WORLD HAS GONE MAD

BTW: I bet you can guess the manufacturer of my mouse...

Dagobahn Eagle
04-26-2005, 02:46 PM
DATA CD-R For Computer Burning
:D

http://img175.exs.cx/img175/3711/19xk.jpg
Garage with room for four cars (if you put one of them on its side;)). Actual ad, I believe.

Thanks to Battlefield.no:cool: .