View Full Version : [Fic] [FIC] Secrets of the Force

Renegade Angel
10-23-2005, 09:21 AM
Wow, I've decided out of boredom to create a KotOR fic. (My first actually)



A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.....
KotOR: Secrets of the Force

It has been four years since the end of the war. Malachor has been destroyed, The three sith lords are dead, along with Mira and Hanharr. The exile, Gus Kenobi, has followed the path of the light along with his companions, The Handmaiden, Atris, Bastilla, and Admiral Carth. The group of Jedi have been wandering the galaxy for quite a while now, and they have gotten a call from Dantooine. It appears that a new council has formed and they have decided to lift Gus's exile.

Renegade Angel
10-23-2005, 10:12 AM
Gus awoke from his deep sleep and opened his eyes. His head fell back onto the pillow. "Come on... get up!"
Gus rubbed his eyes and looked around. Atris was hovering over him. Her normal apperance. White robes and her hair in a ponytail. Wow, Gus thoguht Does she ever wear anything else? Atris walked out of the room casually. Instead of sitting there wondering, he got up and slipped on his Brown Jedi Robes. His white tunic was faded and old, and the robes had many different tears in them. He looked at his lightsaber, which was in the very bottom of his footlocker, and frowned. It's hilt was cracked and it was missing a color crystal. He put it around his waist and his door opened as he neared. He turned the corner into Bastilla's room and opened her footlocker. He took out a green color crystal and slammed it into the old hilt. He shut the slot and ignited it. The weapon answered by showering him with golden sparks. Still needs some work... He thought. He sighed and clipped it back onto his belt. He exited the room and walked down the hall. He finally came to the cockpit, where Carth and Bastilla were piloting the course to Dantooine. "So, How far?'' he asked
"Not much" Answered Carth.
Bastilla looked up from her controls and swiveled her chair around to face him.
"So, everyting okay?"
"Yeah, I guess.... I still mis them, still have dreams about them..." Gus was referring to his old friends. Mira had been killed by Hanharr, Mandalore had returned to Dxun along with a larger army, Atton had left in search of his home world, Kreia was killed on Malachor, Bao-Dur went back to help with the Telos Restoration Project, Visas left to be trained by the Jedi, and G0-T0 left to find a new master. At that time, T3 entered the room. "Bee-Wee-Ooop-Eee?"
"Yeah T, we're almost there."
"Bee-Eee Woop-Tee."
"Hyperdrives are fixed? Thanks, good job by the way."
T3 rolled back out of the room. Gus decided to go search for HK. "Master?"
Gus sighed. "Yes, HK?"
"I've upgraded the Nav Computer, fixed this... ''Bastilla's'' glow sword and finished packing the cargo."
"Thanks, HK." HK left the room and headed for the Cargo hold.

The ship landed in the Courtyard. Gus, Atris, and Bastilla walked out of the ship and looked in awe at the new academy. It was massive and many Jedis walked in and out of the huge metal doors. "Well, here we are." Gus said, interrupting the silence. They walked towards the door and it slid open. They walked throught the halls until they found the council chamber. It was an exact replica of the one he had been exiled in. Those thoughts brought back horrible memories. He forgot them and walked further in. A small council. Atris and Bastilla sat down in their chairs.
Master Bastilla, Master Atris, Master Shadow, Master Shyarn, and Master Vash. MASTER VASH!? "Vash, How'd you... But you were.... how!?"
"The force has it's secrets, Gus...."
"Yes, Master." Gus walked into the center of the room and found his original lightsaber in the center stone.
"Take it." said Shadow.
Gus grabbed ahold of the hilt and pulled with all his strength. The lgihtsaber flew out and he stumble dback a few inches. The dark blue glow lit the room with a luminescent light. The hilt was perfectly intact.... everything was as he had left it. He took out his other lightsaber and ignited it, too.
The council stood and raised their palms so they faced him. Gus felt the force flow through him. It was stronger than ever. He fell to his knees and closed his eyes.
His eyes hammered open and he stood. The council sat back down and looked at him.
"Jedi Knight, Gus Kenobi." said Atris.

Renegade Angel
10-27-2005, 03:46 PM
"Okay boys, this is were all hell brakes loose!"
The door shattered to peices and the makeshift Republic Strike Team burst in. a dark jedi and a dozen elite soldiers uncloaked themselves and attacked. The rest of the Republic forces ran in as more and more joined the fight.
"Hold 'em off! This is were we make history!" More and more soldiers attacked and hostile vehicles and fighters flew across the long, narrow canyon to join. The Valley Of Echos. The academy they had just fought through exploded behind hem as a Republic Hammerhead Cruiser burst into the scene. It destroyed a few fighters and then released more troops. "Sniper on the ridge!"
"For the republic!"
"Hold them!"
All sorts of voices bounced off the canyon walls and faded. The sound of blaster fire stopped and he looked around. No one. No one at all. There was no one around him, nothing. "Foolish Jedi!" A dark jedi jumped out of his cover and slashed at Kataru. He dodged and sliced the man in half. He jumped back up and pulled out his blaster. Damnit. One of those Dark Mind Tricks. A vision. More red laser shots flew by as troops fell. One by one, dozen by dozen, millions by millions. If he could hold his ground this long, he was ready. "End!"

He stood up and took off the helmet. "Good Job, a nine rating." came a voice from outside the walls. He opened the door and wiped the sweat off of his face. "Not good enough." The Jedi Training Vision was a new breakthrough which allowed the Jedis to train in a virtual world. Kataru jumped into his fighter and burst off towards Dantooine.

10-27-2005, 03:47 PM
Nice beginning. Vash? o.O Please continue.

Renegade Angel
10-27-2005, 03:49 PM
(( Vash's return will be explained soon. BTW, Ch 2 is up, but it's very short ))

10-27-2005, 04:39 PM
I just read it. Man, you're really fast.

Renegade Angel
10-27-2005, 04:52 PM
Lol, I don't know what happened there! I posted Ch 2, and you hadn't replied yet, I came back like a minute later nad you hadn't seen 2 yet. weird.

11-01-2005, 12:17 AM
Nice. This looks interesting.

Renegade Angel
11-01-2005, 03:30 PM
I'll post more later, my g-friend and I are going to a skate park.... in the middle of heavy rain... well... I suppose it'll be interesting...

11-01-2005, 03:43 PM
:dozey: (j/k)

Renegade Angel
11-01-2005, 05:31 PM
That was like freakin awsome... we sat down for a minute to take a brake and she put her head on my shoudler and I looked at her and she freaking kissed me! I mean... holy... BEEP.... that was sooooo cool! Well..... I'm glad I went! Dude, my first kiss was in the rain... how romantic.... well....

I'll get a pic of her if I can... sweet....

11-01-2005, 06:41 PM
Good for you! But this is the Fan FICTION and ART section, NOT a chit-chat section. :bluidea: I have an idea! Talk about it in Ahto. :D

Renegade Angel
11-01-2005, 06:43 PM
Yeah, I'll get to that....

11-01-2005, 06:50 PM
I am sorry. I didn't mean to insult you.

Renegade Angel
11-01-2005, 07:09 PM
You didn't

11-02-2005, 02:52 AM
I like it. This is the first Fan Fic I've read and I enjoy it. It could use some tweaking (I'm an excellent tweaker ;);)) but I like it :) Keep it up

Oh, congrats on your first kiss i s'pose

Renegade Angel
11-02-2005, 07:04 AM
Thanks guys, Chapter 3 should be up after school.

(JediKnight, PM any tweaks you'd like to mention, I'd love some ideas)

11-02-2005, 08:25 PM
I'll do that (if I can find the time...I hate 8th grade :()

11-02-2005, 09:02 PM
Pretty good so far. Er...I might sound like a total idiot right now, but...in chapter two...who's Kataru? I thought this was about Gus the Exile...confused...
And like JK said, there are a few things that could use tweaking. Bastila is spelled with one 'l' and, unless you were going for that effect, try and make your sentences longer or w/e.
Otherwise, its really not that bad...keep going with it!

Renegade Angel
11-03-2005, 03:39 PM
Thanks for the advice guys.

BTW, Kataru is another main character to the story, he and the Exile eventually meet.

Renegade Angel
11-03-2005, 03:50 PM
Gus headed for the ship. When he boarded, he was suprised to find.... "Julie!" He shouted in joy as he saw his former best friend sitting in the co-pilot's seat. They had been best friends at the acdemy, and then lovers... adn then they were split apart, and this was his first time in three years seeing her.
"Gus!" She yelled, throwing her arms around him tightly.
"I missed you, Gus..."
"I... I missed you too." Carth and Bastila walked in and ignored the two. "We'll be my room." Said Gus as he pulled Julie with him. The door slid open and they seddled down on his bed. "Julie... I haven't seen you in years."
"What happened to us?"
"We were split, the academy was attacked and we fled..."
"Well, we're here now, and that's all that matters." Said Julie quietly.
They layed back and Gus gave a deep sigh and he yawned. They felt the ship take off as they slowly fell into a deep sleep...

Julie sat up immediatley. She looked down and saw Gus still asleep. She combed a hand through his hair and walked to the cockpit.
"So, what were you two doing, eh?" Asked Bastila, sounding annoyed.
"Nothing... We talked and-"
"Leave the exile alone." sdaid Bastilla through clenched teeth. She stood and put a fist near Julie's face. "Stay away."

(WWOT, Catfight!)

11-03-2005, 04:22 PM
WooT! Catfight! :D

11-03-2005, 10:24 PM
lmao thats good :) Go Julie!!! (thats the name of your girlfriend ;)) But please just make them kiss, kids do go to these forums ;)

11-03-2005, 11:30 PM
No kissy, all the way :naughty: great story BTW.

Renegade Angel
11-04-2005, 07:11 AM
I think you guys'll enjoy the next chapter. (wink Wink)

11-04-2005, 10:17 PM
Awesome!!!! Can't wait!!! and no congrats for recognizing the fact that Julie was the name of your girlfriend??? I think I deserve a little credit :)

Renegade Angel
11-05-2005, 08:19 AM
Congrats, but you saw the locked thread, didn't you? Anyways, I'm working on writing some ideas down, I'll try to get Chapter Four by Monday.

11-05-2005, 08:32 AM
this is cool dude, its definitley one of my favs.

11-06-2005, 11:15 PM
Congrats, but you saw the locked thread, didn't you? Anyways, I'm working on writing some ideas down, I'll try to get Chapter Four by Monday.


*ahem* No, I didn't......what thread........
Keep it up :)

Renegade Angel
11-07-2005, 06:49 PM
Lol, yeah well.... I'm gonna hold off till tommorow for Chapter 4, I have SERIOUS writer's block. (I write funny stories about my friends and I, so I get writer's block alot, it really sucks...)

11-07-2005, 11:12 PM
^^ I know what you mean. Man it sucks. Keep up the good work tho :)

Renegade Angel
11-08-2005, 12:08 PM
Sheesh... it figures... I'm home sick today, I have one hell of a cold...

11-09-2005, 11:34 PM
I feel your pain, I was sick today too :(

Renegade Angel
11-10-2005, 03:37 PM
Noooo! I still can't write because my girlfriend BEGGED me to go to her house today! AHHHH! I had to except of course..... I've never seen her house, but I know she lives by my friend, Matt.

11-20-2008, 01:43 PM