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View Full Version : My first fanfic- [FIC]The fall of Revan


Jeremia Skywalk
01-30-2006, 03:36 PM
This is my first ever made fan fiction about star wars, so dont go hard on me, just read and tell me your opinion, i have now finished only chapter 1 but this will be way longer. I decided to make a fic about this, beacause i realy don't like all those people thinking, that Revan will be in kotor3, this fanfic will later on show how did Revan died. This is taken a little after kotor 1, if dark side ending.

The Fall of Revan



Chapter I

"Knight's Story"
Name:Aram Sadaan
Age: 24
Species: Human
Sex: Male
Homeworld: Tatooine
Republic ID 120342-00123456-873544222-12345642
Occupation before: None (Says to be a "Jedi knight")
Blood Group: Blood test is not needed
Special notes: Sensing special light comibg from him. Cross like scar on left eyebrow, over eye, to middle of face,unusal powers, extra dangerous and
needed to take special caution.

This is happening two years after Revan reclaimed his title of dark lord. One of darkest times in republic, Jedi are allmost extinct, and hunted everywhere. Sith is capturing one world after another and enslaving or killing people there. There are noone to rebel, few remaining jedi are hiding in unknown places. Revan have destroyed many worlds, and seemingly there is noone to stop him. The republic, is doomed once again. Only this time noone has any hope- Revan is just too powerfull. A Young Jedi knight Tried to
attack star forge, but was stopped by an armada of sith forces, but being exeptionaly good in force persuasion he managed to convince the sith who captured him to put him in high security prison, instead of killing him right away. After few weeks, he isn't anymore too happy about his choice- here no persuasion was possiblle- Noone visits this place- most of them
starves in few weeks, and even Araam had no choice to survive much longer, he had no cellmate, he couldn't use force to help him no way. He was as doomed as republic,or so it seemed. After a while he saw a young scroundel like looking guy, who tried to bypass security of his cage cursing loudly, but having no success. For a minute it seemed, that he would
succeed, but it was impossible, so he just sat back on floor of the cell. All the place was cold and stank repulsivery. He knew that cell lets no sound to go throught, so, beacause of nothing to do he tried an old tric his master taught him- to read the mind of that scroundel what he heard was "Taking a pazaak card with number 5, now would make a totala of.. 23, if starting
game i have twelve i would take another card having something between 14 and 20, so..." "What a weird guy." Araam thought. wondering does he have any reasons to count pazaak in his head, or is he just nuts. Than he remembered another force power thaught him by his master and
thought that this could help him unlocking the cell, so he focused strongly, thinking about force and linking his mind with scroundel's. This power should grant user with qualities of a heroic people, but it somehow also helps in many slicing tasks and unlocking doors. He could imagine scroundel saying "YES! of course! of course!" And after a few minutes the force cage
went down. But the scroundel weren't going to open other cages, and Araam understood, that if he wouldn't let him out, than they both would be doomed, knowing, that jedi shouldn't use their powers like this he tried to force persuade Scroundel to open his door as well, Scroundel sensing this ovbiously got to his cage and after few minutes opened it.
-"Hello, my name is Araam Sadaan and i am a jedi..."
Not waiting till Araam finishes what he wanted to say Scroundel attacked Araam, it seemed he knew all his weaknesses, like he would been killing jedi for ages. He struck at his collar bone, breaking it easily, than did a quick hit to his neck stunning him effectively, Araam barely concentrated force to snap out of it, before Scroundel broke his neck, he understood,that there is no peacefull way to end this, so he got up and kicked him in head, knocking him out with one single hit to temple of head. He tied up Scroundels hands and used some of his healing abilities, to get back him on feet.
-"Ok let us start over again. My name is Araam Sadaan and i am a Jedi Knight"
-"Go tuck yourself in! I dont care about your name and i ain't telling you mine"
-"You have two options- to do so and stay here, or tell me your name and we can leave this darn place together, or you can try to get out of here on your own."
-"Alright, alright, my first name is Atton, and that is all you need to know"
-"Thats a start, nice to meet you, Atton. I understand, you have quite great knowgledge about mechanics and locks and i might need your help, but i cannot untie you, untill you swear me not to strike me again, some of my bones are broken, they will fix faster with force, but still, it hurts a lot and i don't want to go throught this again.
-"I swear, i ain't gonna do this!"
-"Are you sure, i sense the taint of dark side in you."
-"Do you think i would be here, if i were of sith? I ain't telling you anything else, but well tell, how you ended up here?"
-"Ok we have to spend time somehow, untill some sith arrives. I was ordered, with a group of remnants of jedi order, to try the last time to destroy the star forge and defeat Revan, we knew this was not far from suicide mission, but we had to try. It went great, we had a clear run right to command center, encountering a realy few sith troops, we used our lightsabers and the force, and defeated them all, but when we got to Revan... It was far more than we could have ever imagined. He killed my Master with a single well aimed blow, then chocked to death my other companion and stunned me said he senses something special about me and said that i must be killed in a way that would be realy safe, then i convinced the guards not to kill me, i thought that everything went great until i got here and found myself left to rot. I spent many weeks meditating, to reduce the need of food, and so i have survived for now 17 days. But honestly im not sure how long i can hold like this, we need to find a way off here. Now!"
-"But how? They rarely bring anyone new and we are on a barren wasteland, not much better than this prison, only thing we will find here will be hssasis dragons. I know this world, it used to be my training place- Korriban. You don't wanna come here. Only chance is, if they bring some
new captives, or if Darth Revan himself shows up. Both cases hapens realy rarely, but we are speaking about force if you are realy a jedi, than things can get most unexpected ways. We have to stay there and hope..."
-"I surely am not hoping to get another meeting with Revan, there is no chance for me to escape anymore if Revan comes. Althought. As you said. Force tends to work in mysterious ways."


~End of chapter one~

cypork
01-30-2006, 04:01 PM
Not bad! I liked the quote "go tuck yourself in!" :D You had a few spelling mistakes though but I guess that didn't spoil the reading. Keep it up. Looks like a good start!

Jeremia Skywalk
01-31-2006, 11:59 AM
Here it is the chapter number two. I worked a little harder on this one, i Believe this is even darker than first one, that is not how the fic was originaly intended. Anyways, this chapter talks about how Revan and bastila comes to Korriban. so here you go- enjoy


Chapter 2

Revan

He had been thinking a lot at this times. Did he realy enjoyed the power he had? And Bastila? Did he even love her anymore? He couldn't tell, he was so sure that this power he is having is his, and noone can stop him. He thought
that he will rule the galaxy and will be... happy? Maybe. He was having more and more flashbacks about his life before the jedi council destroyed his memories. He remembered, how he, with all his heart wanted to save, the very same Republic, he is destroying now. He started to think, if he isn't doing all those cruelities, beacause of he thought, that this should be the duty of a sith lord. He remembered leader of Hidden Beks back on Taris, which he had so senselessly killed. He knew it wasn't the way of light, he had followed, as he thought than, all his life, It wasn't even the way of the sith, sith wouldn't kill for nothing, unless they could gain a great profit from it.
"No, I did right, i let my hate and anger out in full fury!" He tried to convince him, that he is the allpowerfullSith Lord, Darth Revan.But it didn't go too well.
-"We are closing to Korriban, I cannot wait to show that foolish Jedi, how to mess with our guard's minds."
Bastila, was even more embracing the Dark side. Revan thought, that one day, sooner or later she will try to kill him and wont stop, untill one of them is dead, but he couldn't think of that.
-"Yes we will, my love. But i realy think that the Prision will show him that better than we ever could, besides i am here to meditate in the tomb of Naga Sadow, powerfull aura there allways fills me up with the power of dark side"
He knew, if he would show any signs of weakness of light side, she wouldn't hestitate to stap a lightsaber throught his chest and usurpre the mantle of dark lord, no he had to rule for some more, there are many worlds left to
conquer. Closing the Korriban he felt the dark side returning to him. This feeling was very well known to him, he felt burning heat up his stomach, than going up throught his lungs up in brain corrupting his mind and giving him
much of pain. Pain made him stronger. It helped to maintain focus, and the rush of it... almost as strong as on the Star Forge. Yes! That was the power he is looking for.
-"Hmp. For your own sake i hope you realy know that he would not escape here. I would surely enjoy watching his torements, killing him slowly, feeding up on his life energy. Anyways, if you want to meditate, than we will land right next to the tomb."
Revean didn't quite like the attitude of Bastila's attitude, she refused to call him master, he tried to make her callhim that, but he couldn't hurt her that much, of course he had to punish her now and than for her failures, but he knew-when the time will come he will not be able to kill her. He hoped, that she felt the same way. He went to her and kissed her, she didn't respond as passionate as usually, Revan thought, that she was starting to feel changes in him. He knew, that there were no way to go back on the path of light, so he knew that he has to get rid of bond of love, and one of force, actually that was the reason he wanted to come to Korriban, he wanted to stop loving Bastila, beacause it leads to such weaknesses as forgiveness and all that comes with it,and than he could kill Bastila. But he wasn't sure,
that he can do that, or that he wants to. They were allready in the atmosphere of planet, ship landed slowly. He didn't know the real reason, why he wanted to keep flying with his old Vessel- the Ebon Hawk, he just knew that Ebon Hawk is way better, than any other vessel he could get.
-"I think we should practice in the tomb for some time, it will be interesting to test your skills, enchanced with the power of those tombs. You have to have strong force inside you to even feel the presence of it. But if you listen
carefully you will hear it. And when you will- your battle possibilities will become inhuman. You have to let all the angst in there right throught your ears in your head, before our fight we will meditate for couple of days, and than you will have to strike me with all the anger inside you. You have to learn to hate me, the power of hate will cloud your mind, but you will be more powerfull than ever. "
-"As you command, dark lord."

First day: She sat down on the hard ground in the tomb. She closed her eyes and tried to listen to force. All she heard was the silence. She was sitting like that for many hours, she started to feel the force flowing in her. She felt pain, and anger, she started to feel like she is sitting here for millenium, she fellt doomed, bringing fear to her. She heard screams of thousands of dieing jedi and sith, all who had died from the time this tomb was built. She wanted this to stop. She felt like falling in darkness, with nothing to fall on. Pain pulsed throught her all the time. She knew she would be too weak to face Revan if she would stop, and he would kill her, if he would sense weakness. She was aware of any minute she was there.She was hoping for something different- she thought that she would fall in sleep-like trans, like usualy meditating on the Star Forge, but she didn't felt like sleeping, but like being tortured, like when Malak turned her to the Dark side.

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion," said Revan loudly "throught passion i gain strenght" He sat and yelled allready, he felt dark side wawing strongly on and in him. "Throught strengt i gain power," He said in voice, which made the tomb be ten times more scary, his voice itself was full of dark side of force "Throught power i gain victory," He said, as his voice turned from threatening, to vicked and wheezy. It sounded as if someone would come in room, he would die from fear "Through victory my chains are broken!" He yelled with all power he had, than he collapsed on ground.

Second day: "I... Have to... Focus..." Bastila thought. She had ran out of all power. She felt like she could be crushed by all the force in this tomb. She felt a great strenght coming in, but it was too overwhelming. She was screaming now and than. Her screams echoed in the emptieness of tomb. She felt so very cold. She thought that this cannot make her more powerfull, that Revan have decided to get rid of her, and this is how he is weakening
her. She felt every bone in her body deforming and finaly she felt it. She was feeling, as if she was getting of the ground and than she felt something like sleep.

Revan studied records of the sith, that were still left in tombs. Last day he got rid of force bond with Bastila, now he had to do something much harder- he had to sewer his love. He wasn't sure he wanted to. He couldn't find anything about breaking love bonds, he tried to meditate, to make himself hate her, but he just couldn't. He came to a conclusion. "I have to get far. Real far from here. Out of Republic, to places where noone of the
Republic have stepped foot."

Third day: Bastila woke up- she knew she was ready. She got to the part of the tomb where Revan was training. She suspected him to be meditating, he always held his focus longer than her, but she found him stufying on a holocorn. She told him- "I believe I am ready."
-"Exelent, we shall begin our training at once."


~End of chapter 2~

cypork
01-31-2006, 12:24 PM
Very very good. A lot better than the first part. But there's one line I didn't agree with - "It wasn't even the way of the sith, sith wouldn't kill for nothing, unless they could gain a great profit from it." I think sith sometimes kill just to gain pleasure and power from seeing the suffering and pain of someone. I'm not sure if I'm right,but I think sith do kill because then they could gain a mental profit. But yea very good. Keep it up.

Jeremia Skywalk
01-31-2006, 12:27 PM
Well what i meant, is that, the sith in kotor series kill way too much, i know that sith sometimes kills for fun, but killing him was quite useless, besides you were following someone's orders, plus, you could have use of him and kill him afterwards.

cypork
01-31-2006, 12:29 PM
Well what i meant, is that, the sith in kotor series kill way too much, i know that sith sometimes kills for fun, but killing him was quite useless, besides you were following someone's orders, plus, you could have use of him and kill him afterwards.

True. Can't disagree

Jeremia Skywalk
02-01-2006, 10:56 AM
third chapter. Maybee you could see what is coming a bit too easy, but that was the plan anyways, so here Bastilas training and Aram Sadaan's and Attons escape from that wicked place. I realy liked chapter 2 better myself, but this is essential to storyline. so here goes:


Chapter 3
Escape


It was three weeks, since he had last had a meal. Araam could handle it meditating, while Atton, who had been here for shorterperiod of time, but knew nothing about meditating seemed to starve to death any of coming days. They had to get out of this prision, or else they were both doomed, but even tho they had got out of their cells it still were nearly impossible for them to escape. Korriban had no settlements, they couldn't find water anywhere, while here at least some of water were accessable, so getting out of her would just make things harder. Meat of creatures on this planet were poisonous and not eatable, so their only hope were, that someone will land on this planet and get them out of here. But oftenly noone comes here for years and they cannot hold their lives that long. Aram tried to help Atton with the force, but he resisted it and there were nothing else for him to do. He felt helpless. "Dammmit, a jedi should find a way out of here, but why i can't do that? Only way in was throught the ceiling of the place which was so high, that even with force he could jump only a realy small part of the total height of this enourmous room.


***

"We will begin, with testing- how much power have came to you, while you were meditating. you have to resisteverything i do to you." Saying this and not waiting untill Bastila will answer he threw an enourmous boulder at Bastila. Fear made her react quicker, also enchanced her force a little, and with that plus the power of tomb she could make the boulder move its direction, that it didn't smash her head, but only brushed her ear.
"Good, my apprentice" Revan said more wishing, that she couldn't do that, as than he could test his will and see if he could do what he was intended to. Not thinking much about that he used lightning on her, she could barely stand on feet, but he continiued doing it, untill she collapsed.
"Still, your progress is most surprising, your powers have doubled since death of my old apprentice. Now get up and get your saber!" Bastila was using her laigrek-eye red doublebladed saber, with most powerfull modifications possible. Revan used the Force to throw many rocks, impact of any, if it would do, would kill Bastila instainly, but revan couldn't make any of the rocks fly, so they would be realy lethal. Bastila whirled her saber, so fast you couldn't see it and used the force to block other rocks, she was holding great, but the real thing about this lesson is that it went on for many hours, but Bastila didn't know that,
"How... much... more?" She whispered, after half an hour, Revan just stood there, with his arms wide open, rocks flying to Bastilas side seemed to have no end. Bastila got down of one of knees, still avoiding or crashing rocks with lightsabre. She stood in this ground for an hour more, and than she got hit to the right hand with one of rocks. She fell on ground, her hand was broken and she was crying. But Revan wouldn't stop traning over a such minor accident.
"That was not as good as i suspected. One way or other we must duel now, until one of us dies."
"No... i cannot... why?" Revan felt sorry to bastila. No! A sith Lord cannot feel sorry, he must take their apprenticesto limits, to learn them to hate, but than he thought "I don't want Bastila to hate me." He was feeling like two huge forces were rippin him apart. Than he took out his saber and attacked defenseless Bastila. With the last remains of life in her she took out her saber, and bloced the strike very last moment. Bastila couldn'tuse both her hands, she could barely resist Revans attacks. She was starting to feel anger flowing throught her head. After few minutes she was already raging. She delivered one strike after another, She stroke with all her strenght, she tried to remember The feeling in toomb, the feeling of power, she unleashed lightning, weakening Revan, than struck and cut his entire left hand from shoulder off. She thought she had won, but she was the one who couldn't proceed. Many day torements in sith tomb, the lightning, in which Revan held her for more than ten minutes, than her broken arm, she just coildn't rise her arm to kill him. She colapsed on the barren land of Korriban. They were found by sith near to death. Ebon Hawk weren't.



***

He felt a major disturbance in the Force somwhere near. He remembered such kind of disturbance from only once. When he faced Lord Revan on the Star Forge. He felt anger, but he resisted them without much problems. He knew-someone had landed on Korriban, and he hoped, as he had hoped ever before that wouldn't be what he thought. He understood- he have to try get out of here. H tried to use his force jump, but that only drained his power even more. He remembered wath his masters taught him, but he couldn't find anything of use. than he heard something it came from afar. But it came from outside the prison "Beep be-ep boop?" Sound was nearly hearable, but Aram, messing with droids since he can remeber him recognized that ths was a T3 model droid. He was happier than ever, beacause his exelent knowgledge in droids and force allowed him to control droids programmming, making them do whatever he wants. This was the time he had to. He focused all his force energy to the little droid far far up. He told it to go inside his master's ship and fly with it to the floor of prison. He held crossed fingers, as he knew, that only a few ships can be flyable by a droid, and only a few droids can fly it. "Atton! Wake up! I think we are getting off this planet." Atton barely got to his feet and then they stood waiting for a few minutes. Than they saw a vessel slowly landing on the floor.
"Alright! we depart now!"
As they went aboard the Ebon Hawk Aram escorted Atton to medbay, there he fell in sleep like coma immidietly. Aram told T3-M4 to take a good care of him and informed the little droid about what have happened to him. Then he went to cockpit and got the engines running. He pulled the vertical engine lever and they floated out of the Prison. He had no real idea where could they go- Jedi Temple On Coruscant was in ruins, Dantooine was bombarded many years ago, But he had always had good relationships with wookies. So he decided to go to Kashyyyk, to resuply and think about some kind of plan. He knew he had to find some of jedi masters, before they all dissapear. But he didn't know where to look. "Maybe Sith's astromech droid knows something..." He thought. He punched the Hyperspace coordinates in and went looking for him, he couldn't find it, he looked everywhere, but a hidden compartment he didn't even notice. It seemed, that T3 had left him on Korriban somehow. Atton slowly recovered, and after a few days in hyperspace he woke up.
"How are you?"
"Ern. Yes much better. Just ummm sorry about attacking you before, I used to... Nevermind."
"Come on- tell me, you can trust me."
"I just don't feel like talking about it. Anyways where are we going?"
"To Kashyyyk, we will have to land on other part of planet, as those Czerka guys have realy ruined the homeworld of wookies, however, there are many wookie tribes they haven't enslaved, so we are going to one of those tribes."
"I don't realy see any use of those wookies. Why not hit the road and go to Coruscant?"
"If we will go to Coruscant, we will not find any friendly people, only sith. I have had enough sith for this month. However, wookies can help us, and as well maybe we could find a way to help them. Besides, there could be one of the last jedi knights, all wookies actualy enchance their strenght and longevity byusing force instinctively, without knowing that and that of course makes jedi extremely hard to find there."
"Blah i still think there is nothing to see- only trees and some more trees, why can't we go to Nar Shadda for example? We could resupply there as well."
"Fight all you want, but i have already plotted a course to Kashyyyk, and we are going to have to go there."



~End of Chapter 3~

Jeremia Skywalk
02-03-2006, 06:56 PM
I aint writing a thing till someone posts some revievs- good or bad, it's just i don't have no stimulation to write, i mean to try harder or keep up.

Jeremia Skywalk
02-04-2006, 05:44 PM
Ok despite not very active readers of my fic, i will still continiue to post parts of my fic- this should be better than the others, but now, when i am writing this- it is realy just coming to me, but i have the right inspiration.


Chapter 4.
Workooowo wookies

It is hard to describe the feeling of hyperspace to one who has never expirienced- althought all the stabilazers makes the ship stop shaking almost entirely, if you look out of window, you sense that something is not right, that it is not usual. It wasn't realy a feeling, but something beneath it, it was something you couldn't feel, just sense it's presence. They were both sleeping. Atton was getting well realy fast. Aram felt, that something just were even more wrong than usually in those times. They had found enough food, to get to Kashyyyk, some blasters, light blades and some medpacs, if they would meet sith, they could hold them off without much of trouble, even in space, turret's were allways operating and anyways sith wouldn't attack the Ebon Hawk, they would be just scared, to make a mistake they would regret later. Only real threat could be Revan himself or his apprentice, but possibility, that they would meet them were very low, but still, force sent Aram this wrong feeling and force was always right. Decided to meditate on this later he woke up and stoped- they were close to Kashyyyk. Aram ploted landing course on the other side of planet- wery near to the ocean of this planet. They landed after a few hours on a beach, Aram woke Atton up.
"Come! We must leave to the Workooowo village, the sooner the better, grab a blaster, i will take this sword and we're off."
Atton yawned and answered: "How fare have we got to go?"
"Not realy far, if we walk fast we will be there after three to four hours."
"Talk about not too far..."
They got off the Hawk and took course down the beach, to the south. They walked couple of hours. on the right side there were sea to horizon, many vicious creatures lived there, but they were not the real threat- right when the sand ended, the forest started. Usually visiting Kashyyyk you cannot realy say, how high are the trees, but if you could watch from ground, in daylight- the view was incredible. You couldn't actualy see the tops of trees, and they were so broad, that you should walk for hours, to walk around just one of them, but despite how good they looked, right when crossing the line of forest, a nightlike darkness appeared and all daylight dissapeared, and may vicious creatures lived there, they had no reason to cross boarder of forest, so usualy they didn't, but if they would notice Aram or Atton, they would propably be used as an easy pray, so they had to use stealth generators, which made walking far more than very slow.But they didn't want to risk their lives with no reason, so they decided to use stealth. After three hours of walking they could still see the Ebon Hawk, while the wookie village weren't visible nowhere near horizon. Aram hadn't counted on the fact, that trees would block all the sunlight, right when the sun passes the trees, so they had to make a camp for night. Of course it wouldn't get more dangerous than that, but they had no choice, as proceeding in darkness would be just plain stupid, beacause moving target would be much easier to notice, and those creatures much often went out of woods in night, when the sunlight isn't so strong. They decided to stay in guard changing twice. Aram stood first, while Atton took a nap. Aram sat and sat for many hours, but nothing more dangerous than a couple of taches weren't visible.after few hours they switched. Atton sat up many hours, now and than taking a shot of juma juice, he found in a compartement of Ebon Hawk, darn those Kashyyyk nights were cold. Kashyyyk is a realy large planet, thus the night was longer than usual. They changed two more times untill daylight, and then they saw something realy unpleasant. A wookie corpse. Some katarns was eating it.
Aram almost let anger in him, he realy hard time resisting hating those mindless slaughterers. They sensed new smell and jumped to attack, atton shot one of them in the head and than Aram easily finished it off with a sword cutting its throat. Aram hated blood, he of course could still fight, but he didn't like the thoutght of killing. While he was thinking about that the other katarn jumped in attack to Aram, knocking him of his feet, he kicked animal hard in stomach and Atton shot it in the back of skull, killing it. They decided to continiue walking without stealth and in late lunch time. With wookies they were welcomed also by a woman, she was quite good looking, wore a causual outfit, and was smiling brightly.
"Hello, welcome to Workooowo village, why have you came here?"
"I am Aram Sadaan and i am searching a refuge from the sith, i am friend of wookies here. Anyways I was going to ask you how come, a human, between wookies, why are you here?"
"Realy? Well, we here are no friends of the Sith, as you propably know. I am a researcher, i came here to research, how wookies live and so on, and i have gained most incredible things about them, of course someone like you would find that boring, but for me this is realy exiting. You seem to have something in common with someone i think i know, i just cannot recall."
"Oh... Yes, realy? And, i don't know your name yet. This is Atton, over here"
"Oh, oh right, I am sorry, this must be very impolite, but I have been away from civilization for quite long time, so i guess you cannot blame me. I am Arlea Mareen an this over here is Rwoookash, he helps me communicate with his people, beacause they wouldn't listen to a human, you know."
"Pleased to meet you both. Raaaaaawraaarght."
Wookie answered his hello, and said his pleasent surprise about knowing their people language. He told that they can sleep in one of huts, on the forest ground, they can access all food they want, but when asked, if he had seen another human exept him, Arela and Atton here by last two years, he answered realy weird- he told, that he has no wish to tell it to him. For couple of months they stood in wookie village. Aram realy liked Arlea, he resisted his feelings, but he had to take all the teachings of masters, to do that, by the time he found out, some things about Atton, but nothing realy important, he found out, that he have fought in many battles and he knows echani fighting. But the next day would make them to take action.

~End of chapter 4~

JediMaster12
02-06-2006, 05:16 PM
Very interesting. I like it. I often thought of what would happen if Revan turned darkside. Keep it up. I like where it's goin'. :)

Jeremia Skywalk
02-20-2006, 04:36 PM
Ok after a break i have made another chapter. It talks about what Revan did after waking up. Next chapter will be big fight.

Chapter 5

Revan's turn

Revan was recovering slowly in his kolto tank. He had many nightmares and visions sent to him by dark side of force. He saw how the Star Forge collapses, how his best ships explodes, he saw many things, but only thing he remembered was a voice. it said "Destiny... Kashyyyk... You must go..."
As he woke up he felt, that his left arm is very light, something is wrong with it. He slowly recalled what happened on Korriban. He screamed loudly an unhearable scream in his breathing system, which allowed him to breathe in kolto tank, he tore it off and smashed the thick glass and fell on floor. He felt anger for his loss, yet he was surprised, that Bastila didn't finish him off. Anyhow, this wasn't the time to think about it. They had to go to Kashyyyk to fullfill his destiny. He got out of medbay, put on his robes and went to the command bridge.
"Plot the course to Kashyyyk, other things can wait and are not as important. Where is Bastila?"
"But we control everything on Kashyyyk, don't we have more important things to do?"
"Fool! How dare you questioning my orders? Now plot that course and say bastila to stop whatever she is doing and tell her to come right here. You have tasted power of dark side, and i dont think you want to try some more."
"N-no sir, of course, yes i will do what you told right away."
"Tell your men to select best hundred of troops for a strike team, we need all kinds of professionals- scouts, heavy weapon specialists, soliders, and they better be good fighters, or you will be the one responsible."
"Right away, sir"
After the course was ploted Bastila came to the command bridge, as Revan commanded. She had new scars and she looked tired and terrified. She knew that she could have killed him physicaly, but she just couldn't do it- love had brought her the weakness of mercy. Revan could not forgive her that.
"So you are here. We will think of your punishment later, more important matters are now on hand. We are going to Kashyyyk. You will come with me."
"Yes. As you wish, master."
"Exelent. So, captain, in what condition is the Ebon Hawk and what has happened about droids. It would be quite a loss to us if something had went wrong with them."
"Sir... The Ebon Hawk... It... It couldnt be found."
"I should have killed you, but you are less brainless than others of my men. Have you at least tracked it down? And what about the droids?"
"T3-M4 is at the droid bay. HK-47... It seemed, that it was still on the ship, when it took of. Ebon Hawk have went to Kashyyyk"
"Hmm... HK-47 , might help us a lot in this case. Track him down exactly and activate it's assassination protocols."
Many light years away a silent, almost unhearable sound appeared on the empty Ebon Hawk's hidden compartement "Assassination protocols: activated"

clone command33
02-26-2006, 04:39 PM
Please continue this story!Don't just leave me hanging!

Jeremia Skywalk
03-18-2006, 11:37 AM
ok i will try to continiue it, i just don't get the inspiration now for some reason...

darklord_malak
06-15-2006, 01:48 PM
why did u stop

Jeremia Skywalk
06-27-2006, 05:50 PM
Alright i have made up my mind- i will try and continiue it.

Chapter 6: Fall of Workowooo

This morning was usual. Realy, nothing was wrong and there were no reason to be aware of everything, however, Araam had an awful feeling that something terrible is about to happen. He had learnt to trust his feelings. The Force was telling him to be aware and so he was. He went to the wookie chieftain and told him:
"I have a bad feeling and you, out of all know, that it is highly important. I think it would be best for me to leave."
"Stop talking this nonsense! You will stay in this village and we will help you. i will tell my men to tighten the defences of the village, you get ready for battle too and warn your friend, but i do not allow you to leave!" Chieftain answered.
"I will not try to change your mind, for i know it is futile... But you must know one thing- i haven't had such bad feeling ever before, so be on guard."
When those words were said they heard a sound of a crash. Then everything fell silent. chieftain grabbed his bowcaster and threw Aram a lightsaber:" I almost forgot you gave this to me." Visibly relieved Aram turned his saber on and they both rushed out of the hut they were in. What they saw was more terrifiying than any sort of monster, any war machine, any blaster assault- there were a single crash pod right in the middle of the village. some wookies were getting closer to examine. Aram tried to yell at them to stop, but it was too late. The door crushed out with a terrific power, turning the closest wookie in a bloody pile of flesh. wookies threw torches in the pod, feeling that it is futile. With flames glowing brightly under his feet there he stood- Darth Revan. he choked one wookie. he kept choking it until it droped on ground dead. Only then everybody understood what had happened. Wookies let out a howl of war and rushed towards the pod despite warnings of Aram. Without much effort Revan slayed the closest wookie with a lightsaber, as wookie was still letting out a howl of pain Revan killed two others of his tribe with a single lightning. Aram yelled at Revan: "Why dont you pick on someone your own size!" "Very well.", Revan answered. He jumped to Aram in less then a heartbeat. Even though Aram could survive Revans attacks and block the more lethal ones he was still feeling as he was outnumbered. He had no chance of defeating Revan and nor did the wookies- Revan was using one of his sabers to fight Aram and other to deflect bolts. Aram didn't have a single chance. Finaly, ovbiously feeling let down Revan pushed Aram in a tree, knocking him out and continiued slaughtering wookies and burning the village. He than felt, that he had stepped on a mine. One wrong movement would mean death now, even for a sith lord. So he jumped, faster and higher than the fire. Something was still wrong. Suddenly, out of blue he sensed that poison has filled his lungs. he cursed himself for not noticing earlier, but all he could do now was keep fighting with poisoned body. He felt much weaker, yet he knew, that in direct fight noone is match for him and he cannot be killed in any other way. As he fell on the ground a blaster bolt, more importantly a blaster bolt he hadn't noticed flew right past his left cheek. He saw the gunner for a tenth of a second but then, he understood, he had used stealth field generator. He returned to killing and destroying... Village was destroyed in matter of hours, there were no surviving wookies left, however Aram was nowhere to be found, so was Atton, Arlea and Rwoookash, the translator wookie.


"Where am I? Where did Revan go? What about the wookies?" Aram gasped. He noticed that it had suddenly became dark.
"Be quiet! The forest creatures might make you impossible to sense, even for one as Revan, but he can still hear you" He heard in his head, definately through the force."
He looked around and saw that they had gotten deep into the forest. He could hear creatures of all sorts around. He sensed, that Atton, Arlea, one of the wookies and another one, definately a jedi... or a sith was very close. he tried to get up, but understood, that not even force could heal broken bones so fast. He knew, that wookies are propably destroyed and he, once again had trouble with resisting anger. Finaly he decided that there is nothing to be done right now and he should rest for now.

*End of chapter 6*

Jeremia Skywalk
07-03-2006, 03:23 PM
Chapter 7: The trees

Several hours passed, as they were sleeping and resting after the fight with Revan. None of them could quite believe, that what happened was reality. The guy was Just too strong.When they woke up noone had any idea about what time it is, where are they or what will happen now.
"Geez. What the hell happened?" Arlea was the first to talk.
"Last thing I remember is i was hearing an explosion in the village." She continiued.
"You see, i ran into the forest, right after i understood there is no way of fighting Revan. Soon after i met her"
Atton waved his arm to the woman who appearently saved all of them. "She helped you and Aram get here, she is ovbiously a jedi."
The woman looked worn down and her clothes were ragged. She had ovbiously spent a long time in the forest. Her hair used to be light, eyes were blue. She was hiding her lightsaber behind a jedi robe, which had turned in dark green from the moss of the forest. Her face was covered with shallow scars, created by branches and sharp grass. Her face was dirty, so was her arms, yet she had a kind look and a warm, bright aura, a knower would know the signs of strong light side affection. Her eyes had a deep look, of people, that have used to live in dusk for too long time.
"I have to say, that even though i hoped to find some jedi on Kashyyyk i am realy surprised, that i realy found one here. My name is Aram Sadaan, he is Atton, that wookie over there, his name is Rwoookash."
"I am Arlea."
"And my name is Drelia Malo" The jedi introduced herself. "What brings you to Kashyyyk?"
"Kashyyyk is just a world, that he knows better than most, he knows wookies and we needed to resuply and think of a plan" Atton rushed to answer.
"I also hoped, to find some jedi here, you know, beacause of the wookies." Aram explained.
"Well, you have found me, what do you ask of me now?" Drelia asked
"Well. That's funny, I haven't thought about it. But one thing is sure, Revan must be defeated." Aram answered.
"I see. You will realy need all the help you can get, if that is what you plan to do. Sure, i will help, not like i have anything better to do anyways." Drelia said
"Well. That is the first good news for quite some time. I will not turn down your offer, but first we need a ship, you see, we came here in a ship that is propably not safe to go back to anymore. still we should take the chance, don't you think?" Aram implied.
"I would think twice about that. I have a bad feeling about it." Atton announced.
"I already did. It is the most possible choice." Aram said, surprised, that Atton sensed it too.
"What is the ship we are looking for?" Arlea joined the debate.
"Well. The ship is called the Ebon Hawk."
After staring at each other and looking with grim looks at each other, calling Aram insane, than understanding the situation they ventured to the beach, far enough to see that is getting a little bit lighter, but not a step further, they didn't sense Revan or any other life forms, but they wanted to be on the safe side, so they continiued walking paralely the coast at the direction of Ebon Hawk. Not too long Aram stopped:
"I sense someting!"
"That is weird, i do not sense anything alive around and, believe me, the creatures of Shadowlands made me careful." Drelia answered to his warning.
"No, it is not alive. It's a droid. Made similar to human. Propably an assassination droid, but i have not heard anything like this, it seems incredibly advanced with all sorts of newest upgrades. It could be a real challange." Aram warned his friends
"That means, any kind of trap or hiding is impossible, he can propably detect us right now. Darn, I hate in droids, even when on your side they cannot be trusted!" Atton expressed his opinion.
"Yes, it can definately detect us. The rifle it is using can be used from very long distance, that means it has an advantage if fighting a jedi, that is, if it is very skilled at rifle shooting. He will be in range in something like five minutes." Aram said.
"A direct attack would be our most possible choice, we have to get close enough to use force or lightsaber. Atton can support us from back with guns." Drelia had already come up with a plan.
"Agreed completely, and Rwoookash will stay here to protect Arelia." Aram told "Alright we need to move in. Now. Atton, follow us!"
"The heck i will! ... Hey, wait up!"

As they aproached the droid shooting started. They could not even see the droid, but it had already opened fire at them. Droid was exelent with the rifle, Aram could barely repel most bolts with his lightsaber and some even went through, but his body was enchanced with force, so he survived. As they had gotten close enough Drelia jumped more than ten metres at the droid, it nimbly dodged her blow and directly hit her to back of skull with the rifle. She was knocked out instantly. While doing that one of Atton's bolts hit the droid, but it ovbiously had some sort of energy shield, so it took no damage at all. Aram was already in meelee range. He tried to attack droid with lightsaber, but droid usualy dodged and even if it didn't heavy plating and energy shield didn't allow saber to cause serious damage. Battle felt like a lost one but Aram swiftly used the force to burn out droid's sensors, than did a little cut with saber, which allowed him to open the droid up. He than did a cut worthy of a surgeon and the droid was shut down. He left the droid standing, took Drelia on his arms, called Atton and they were at the Ebon Hawk at matter of minutes.

"Alright, anyone, any ideas where are we going now?"

*End of chapter 7*

Finaly i have done a bit longer chapter, i had started to make short ones, dont know why, maybe beacause in fast reply screen they look longer :D.
Anyways i will be gone for some time now, traveling to France, but when i get back i hope to get reviews of this chapter and story in general. Don't be lazy, post something. (Just don't be too harsh:))

machievelli
12-04-2008, 01:34 PM
read