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View Full Version : Razputin's Life:Chapter 2 (pt.2)


zelda 41
02-19-2006, 12:27 AM
Refresh your memery:Lili is at the circus. She finds Milla at the circus.

" Milla!!" It was her! Lili's heart did flips over and over.

"Milla, why are you here?" Lili asked.

"Your father called me to come with you, darling!" Milla explained.

"Okay, lets go," Lili said. So, the two walked across the parking lot to the big tent,that was just starting the show.

"Hey,Milla?" Lili asked,"Why does this circus suck?"

Milla answered,"Because, it just does, sweetie."

---
Just then, the young boy, Raz, walked into the big tent.

"Okay. I'm ready."


End of Chapter 2

KingCheez
02-19-2006, 12:32 AM
Only one god damn topic for your story.

Smon
02-19-2006, 12:35 AM
Please... or make a blog and post chapters there, just please, please, please, quit making more or my companions in the educational god pantheon (that's right, I'm a god and a superhero, like Thor.) will beat on you. Like Albegra, god of math, and Kemiko, god of science.

As well as my personal lackeys Crammar and Punch-uation.

zelda 41
02-19-2006, 12:37 AM
SHUT THE HECK UP!!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, STOP READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

zelda 41
02-19-2006, 12:39 AM
Again, STOP READING IT!!! GOD!!!

Smon
02-19-2006, 12:50 AM
I don't read it, I never do.

It's probably a good story, just don't make a new goddamn thread each time.
http://mirkon.sneezepower.com/images/dateline/phoenix3.jpg
Don't make another one!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v445/Smon/censored.gif

DarthAve
02-19-2006, 12:57 AM
OMG, it's so weird.....It reminds me of Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory.

KingCheez
02-19-2006, 01:16 AM
http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/699/objection9bf.png

Only say it once!

We like it, but we want you to get better. You know, critique.

DarthAve
02-19-2006, 01:18 AM
Yeah, what the crazy guy above me said!

Smon
02-19-2006, 01:22 AM
http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/699/objection9bf.png

Only say it once!

We like it, but we want you to get better. You know, critique.
Do you have that game? I need it... I'm currently bidding on eBay for it...

KingCheez
02-19-2006, 01:23 AM
http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/699/objection9bf.png

Stop being a whiny asshat about me having a few fits of ADD!

Smon
02-19-2006, 01:25 AM
http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/699/objection9bf.png

Stop being a whiny asshat about me having a few fits of ADD!
Yeah! I too be crazy but noone be insulting me! or else... (http://www.geocities.co.jp/gyakugene/Obj_God.swf?InputStr=Yeah%21+I+too+be+crazy+but+no one+be+insulting+me%21+or+else...)

DarthAve
02-19-2006, 01:30 AM
What did I say???? I call everyone crazy. Mom, my science teacher, my future boyfriend(for giving that dang Allie a box of freggin' chocolates on Valentine's Day), everyone.

Smon
02-19-2006, 01:32 AM
What did I say???? I call everyone crazy. Mom, my science teacher, my future boyfriend(for giving that dang Allie a box of freggin' chocolates on Valentine's Day), everyone.
OBJECTION! That doesn't excuse you! You owe us pie now. (http://www.geocities.co.jp/gyakugene/Obj_God.swf?InputStr=That%20doesn't%20excuse%20you !%20You%20owe%20us%20pie%20now.)

DarthAve
02-19-2006, 01:35 AM
I'm sorry, I still have to afford the surgury. I've got some identity-stealing to do. He'll never know which one is the real Allie, the one to give the chocolates to, MWAHAHA!!!!!........sorry, it hurts me.

KingCheez
02-19-2006, 01:49 AM
http://mirkon.sneezepower.com/images/dateline/phoenix3.jpg

Darth_Ave just shut up you call us crazy.

DarthAve
02-19-2006, 01:54 AM
I'm not crazy, you're calling me crazy, I'm not crazy. I just want somthing I can never have and am planning to steal it from the snobby bitch who'm everyone loves and adores! I swear!!!How would you feel Cheez if your girlfriend didn't like you, and she never would go out with you because you a little different than everyone else. And by that she meant you were ugly, fat, and everything about you will never become anything important and she wished you were dead!

KingCheez
02-19-2006, 02:43 AM
I'm ugly and fat, it's called personality.

http://img114.imageshack.us/img114/6006/tryit1yn.png

Seriously. Be funny, be weird in public, don't be afraid to do things, and it's all good.

Klia
02-19-2006, 03:10 PM
SHUT THE HECK UP!!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, STOP READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have every right to critizice it. If we don't like the people beating up other people does that mean we should ignore it?

Okay, extreme and quite silly but you get my point.

I don't hate you, I don't think you suck, I'm not trying to attack you, I just think you need to brush up on your writing. If you need help get a beta. I am a beta myself and would be glad to guide you through writing techniques and such.

kaecla
02-19-2006, 08:58 PM
SHUT THE HECK UP!!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, STOP READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If this was posted in your own personal blog, that would be a valid complaint. But since you posted it in a public forum, it's open for critique.

Klia
02-19-2006, 09:20 PM
If this was posted in your own personal blog, that would be a valid complaint. But since you posted it in a public forum, it's open for critique.
Even then no. If this was in their personal diary yes. But once something is on the internet all hell breaks loose.

Smon
02-19-2006, 09:42 PM
Even then no. If this was in their personal diary yes. But once something is on the internet all hell breaks loose.
One day God created the internet, and everyone viewed this as a bad idea.