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OfficerDonNZ
02-27-2006, 03:17 AM
Pretty crappy title I admit. needs something better :) I'm taking a bit of a difrent tack with this so it may work out and it may not. Still needs grammer and spelling to be fixed up but thought I'd post this first bit to see what everyone thinks. Enjoy :)


Rating: PG
Spoilers: For the games KotOR and maybe KotOR II
Category: Romance/Drama
Disclaimer: Own nothing as all belongs to Mr BioWare and Mr LucasArts. However the interpretation of the events of the game KotOR are my own.

The Force always seeks to balance the Dark and Light. Did the Force do this just with a redeemed Revan? No, the Force was at work long before Revan had been redeemed. As any Jedi Master or Sith Lord will tell you the Force takes its time more often than not. As such things and been set in motion during Revan’s fall and the Mandorlain wars. Revan’s redemption is well known and well documented for the most part. Everyone knows about Carth Onasi the man who won Revan’s heart, Bastila Shan the Jedi who captured Revan and the rest of the crew of the Ebon Hawk.

The actions of two people behind what is generally known about the fall and redemption of Revan assured that she would be redeemed in time. The story of Revan has been told. The story of Jedi Knight Qui Gon Kenobi and Pilot Rynn Solo is about to be.

Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Kenobi stood quietly on a grassy hill over looking the Jedi enclave on Dantooine. Qui-Gon was a tall man as he stood six foot six, was well built and was very good looking or so he’d been told on more than one occasion. He often came up here to think and he’d been doing that a lot lately. Ever since he’d returned with Bastila and the strike team that had boarded his old friend Revan’s flagship or rather Darth Revan’s flagship as she now called herself Dark Lord of the Sith. All that had happened less than a year ago.

Qui-Gon could still recall the final conversation he’d had with Revan on the Republic Command Cruiser not long after the Mandalorains had surrendered. That had been what three or four years ago now? Had it really been that long?

“Revan why are we wasting time on this wild goose chase through space? You know well as I that there are no Mandalorains out here.” Qui-Gon asked bluntly “I for one want to get home again we’ve been fighting too long as it is.”

Revan smiled “I want to make sure Qui-Gon that is all.”

Qui-Gon narrowed his eyes at his friend “Revan there is something amiss. You’re not yourself what is going on my friend?”

Revan sighed “I can’t fool you can I? You know me too well it seems. Can I trust you?” he merely nodded. She smiled and continued “I’ve found the location something connected to the Force Qui-Gon. Something of great power.”

As Revan spoke a cold feeling gripped the male Jedi “But what side of the Force Revan?” he asked softly. Now things slowly began to make scance. If he remembered correctly not long after the final battle with the Mandorains Revan and Malak had left for a time but when they had returned something about them had changed.

She turned away from her friend “I… I don’t know. I’m not sure.” Revan replied

Qui-Gon stepped closer and put a hand on her shoulder “Then why risk seeking it out? We should turn round and head home. Something’s are not worth the risk.”

Revan turned and looked up into his eyes “But what if it is worth finding? Can we not afford to take the risk?”

Qui-Gon sighed. She could be so single minded when she wanted to be. Even he hadn’t been able to dissuade her from fighting the Mandorlains “You know as well as I that some things are best not found. I don’t want you to lose your soul Revan. There is something not right here I can feel the Dark Side as I’m sure you can. We all must be careful of our darker side and that of the Force.” He hoped he wasn’t too late for all their sakes.

“You really are worried about me aren’t you?” she said a smile on her lips

Qui-Gon grinned “Of course I am I wouldn’t be much of a friend if I wasn’t?”

However he wasn’t grinning for long as he heard Revan draw her Lightsaber. Qui-Gon jumped back drawing his own saber and that’s when he saw that Revan wasn’t who she had been she had changed. He could see the darkness round her but she wasn’t lost yet. He would fight her as long as he had to but he would try and save her he owed her that.

“I’m sorry Qui-Gon but I won’t let you stop me now I’m close to finding the Star Forge.” She then attacked but the taller Jedi easily blocked and parried her strikes

“What has happened to you? What has taken hold of you?” Qui-Gon asked as he put Revan on the defensive backing her into a corner.

“I’ve lost my soul Qui-Gon your warning is a bit late.” She used the Force to smash her friend into the far wall stunning him for a few seconds.

“No you haven’t. Not completely. I can see it in your eyes Revan.” Qui-Gon said as he sprang to his feet parrying another attack. “You can still turn back to the light!”

“No! It is to late more me and I won’t let you leave here alive!” Revan yelled as she attacked her friend again.

Qui-Gon shook his head sadly but said nothing. This was to going to be a hard fight and not just because Revan was a good fighter. This was going to be hard because Qui-Gon and Revan had trained together most of their lives. Qui-Gon considered Revan his sister and now he had to fight her until one of them won. The battle lasted half an hour and ended when Qui-Gon got lucky knocking Revan out cold by slamming her into a bulkhead using the Force. He knelt by her unconscious form and spoke softly “Don’t lose your soul my friend whatever happens don’t lose your soul. You are not lost yet.”

“I thought I’d find you up here Qui-Gon.” Rynn said softly bringing her friend out of his thoughts.

“It seems you know me too well Rynn. Not that it’s a bad thing.” He replied turning to face her.

“You’re thinking about her again aren’t you?” She asked.

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow “Am I really that obvious?” he asked mildly shocked.

Rynn smiled “To those who know you it is as obvious as the head tails on a Twi’lek dancing girl.”

“Oh thank you so much for that image.” Qui-Gon replied dryly “Yes I’m thinking of her again. I still feel I should have been the one on confront her on the bridge and not Bastila. Instead I was stuck making sure that Bastila and her strike team had a route out of there.” He sighed.

“But if you had confronted Revan you wouldn’t have been able to help heal her mind.” Rynn quietly pointed out. She knew how protective of Revan Qui-Gon was. He’d partly come up with the idea of assaulting Revan’s flagship but the unforeseen aftermath of the boarding action had really brought out his stubborn streak where Revan was concerned. Qui-Gon had locked horns with Master Vrook more than once over Revan but the rebellious Knight had allies in Masters Dorak, Vandar and Zhar.

Qui-Gon wasn’t like most Jedi. He was a bit of a renegade that much Rynn had leant over that past few years ever since she found herself mixed up in the Mandalorain wars. Sure he followed the Jedi code but he had his own way of doing things a lot of the time. Then of course he had the close friendship with Revan. Rynn had often wondered if the two Jedi were lovers and she’d gotten bold enough to ask Qui-Gon. The look on his face had been worth it. He’d laughed saying that no they weren’t but he did admit to having a bit of a crush on her when they had been younger and more rebellious however Rynn had seen something in the Jedi’s eyes that made her think that there was more than what there seemed. Qui-Gon wasn’t afraid to admit that he did love Revan like a sister and he’d do almost anything in his power to protect her as dangerous as that was for a Jedi. That is why he’d gone with Revan to fight the Mandroains. He had reservations just like the Jedi Masters had. He hoped he could keep her safe. He hadn’t or at least not in a way that he’d have expected too.

“You’re right Rynn but still this latest plane has got so much that could go off the rails. Bastila dosen’t know the first thing about commanding a warship much less an entire squadron!” He knew he shouldn’t really speak about Bastila like that. She was gifted with the rear power of Battle Mediation. Without it the boarding of the Sith flagship wouldn’t have happened. “The only good thing is that Commander Onasi is on the Endar Spire as an advisor. I just hope he can handle Bastila.”

“You’re brooding again.’ Rynn said “Come on. I need you to help with the Falcon and finish working on those upgrades you promised me. Keep your mind off Serena for a while at least.” She turned and walked back down the hill towards the enclave.

Qui-Gon followed her. She was right he was brooding again. Rynn was a very attractive woman. She was just under six feet tall but her leg hugging dark brown leather pants made her seem taller then there was the cream coloured shirt and brown leather jacket the long dark red hair tied back into a ponytail, eyes the colour of green sabre crystals and the blaster that never seemed to leave her right hip. But she just wasn’t a pretty face there was an intelligence under all the beauty. She was a crack shot and an excellent pilot. Rynn was no saint however as there were more than a few shady dealings in her past but on the whole she was a good person.

As Qui-Gon walked back to the enclave he wondered why Rynn had stayed. After the Mandorain wars a pilot with her skill and abilities were in high demand. Instead of that she had made Dantooine her home. Rynn’s ship the Sliver Falcon was a well known sight. If you needed something transported Rynn was the woman to see. Many of the settlers on Dantooine who couldn’t afford the services of the bigger freight companies came to find Rynn and the Falcon. Word had quickly spread of the woman and her ship based at the Jedi enclave who had yet to turn someone away just because they didn’t have enough credits.

The Jedi and the pilot were just about to enter the enclave when they were both knocked off their feet by the Cather Padawan Juhani who was running as fast as she could. Qui-Gon called after her but she just kept running. Helping Rynn up he said “There is something wrong. Come on.” As they entered the courtyard they saw Blayna crying “Blanya what happed? Why has Juhani ran off?”

The young padawan looked up at Qui-Gon “She and Master Quatra were practicing their dueling. However things got out of hand and Master Quatra has been badly hurt. She’s in the medical bay. Juhani has run off thinking she has killed Quatra.”

Qui-Gon broke into a run “By the force what was she thinking?” was all he said has he headed for the enclave’s med bay. Rynn sat next to Blanya “Come on girl. Looks as though need a warm drink. Then you can tell me what happened.” Rynn led the shaken Padawan back to her quarters where Rynn hoped she’d be able to settle her down.

Diego Varen
02-27-2006, 12:11 PM
A great first Chapter. Is Qui-Gon Kenobi like a grey Jedi, yet also like Obi-Wan? Is this set after the Mandalorian Wars, but before KOTOR?

I like this. Keep posting.

OfficerDonNZ
02-27-2006, 01:08 PM
A great first Chapter. Is Qui-Gon Kenobi like a grey Jedi, yet also like Obi-Wan? Is this set after the Mandalorian Wars, but before KOTOR?

I like this. Keep posting.

Thanks glad you like :) I guess you could say Qui-Gon is more grey than light but hopefully will be a bit like Obi-Wan. As to when its set its more or less duering the game but the events are seen more from Qui-Gon and Rynn's view point than anything though the crew of the EB do show up from time to time.

JediMaster12
02-27-2006, 01:27 PM
I like it so far. The story behind the story is always an interesting and fun read. I was experimenting with the same idea in a different time setting. Looks good and I hope to get to read more.

Darth_Nihilus
04-24-2006, 10:25 PM
Good one whats nex @_@

Char Ell
04-26-2006, 11:30 AM
This is totally off-topic but I can't help myself...

:eyeraise: Can someone tell me how this thread has only 4 posts but over 1,600 views?

phazer111
04-30-2006, 02:33 PM
I think You've got a great thing going. Where can we get more?

phazer111
04-30-2006, 02:35 PM
Any chance of this becoming a book?

OfficerDonNZ
04-30-2008, 02:40 AM
Good gods I'm suprised to see this still up! After how long? I posted this back in 06? Holy! Gods know if i'll do anymore to this. I've been away from theSW/KotOR scene for quite a while. I don't even have this story on the comp anymore.

And given the fact my current writing project has kind of taken over my life for the past 7 months or so, well I wouln't be too hopeful. And I've got that matrail to write for a mod too.

machievelli
04-30-2008, 07:01 PM
This is totally off-topic but I can't help myself...

:eyeraise: Can someone tell me how this thread has only 4 posts but over 1,600 views?

As one of the only people who has commented on my work, kid, you have to ask?

Bee Hoon
05-01-2008, 02:01 AM
Oh, OfficerDonNZ! I've seen you over at the NWN2 fanfic group! *waves* I suppose I must have joined LF during your absence, since I didn't see you until now:P

Anyway, since I'm here, I might as well leave a review:p His name, unfortunately, is kinda cheesy:P There are quite a few typos, e.g. scance instead of sense, lots of variations on the word Mandalorian, etc. If you're aware of the events in KotOR2, you should also note the fact that canonically, the exile was the *only* Jedi to return from the Mandalorian Wars, and they certainly didn't welcome her with open arms. The way Revan attacked him also seems rather...random. As you pointed out in your story, he always had unsuccessfully attempted to prevent her from going to war, so she would have done whatever she wanted anyway. There doesn't seem to be much motivation to attack her trusted friend.

That having been said, kudos to you for trying to create an original character and fit him into the events of KotOR. It sounds like a promising start, and I would have liked to see where he crosses path with Revan.

Btw, good luck with writing the Neeshka romance mod flirts! I shall read the Knight-Captain's Rogue when I find the time (erm, you misspelled the link in your signature. You might want to fix that).

OfficerDonNZ
05-01-2008, 03:06 AM
Hey Bee, You're right you must have joined up while I've been MIA. And thanks for the review :) Yeah it's far from perfect and I don't have the notes for this anymore. It got abondonded a long time ago. Yeah the Jedi's name is cheesy but I hate making up names for charchters. The pilot's is a bit cheesy too if you think about it.

As for the exile being the only Jedi to return after the end of the Mandorlrain wars, I find that very hard to beileve. This would be a very difrent beast if i were to do it now.

Thanks :) I can tell you writing those flirts isn't easy at all. Hopfully my efforts will be worthj it.

Bee Hoon
05-01-2008, 09:30 AM
Haha, there's always those name generator things. And it's such great fun to mangle other languages to come up with character names!;) Well, it is nice to have something to look back on and see how far you've come in terms of writing:) So is the KC's Roge on hold in the meantime?

OfficerDonNZ
05-01-2008, 01:51 PM
Haha, there's always those name generator things. And it's such great fun to mangle other languages to come up with character names!;) Well, it is nice to have something to look back on and see how far you've come in terms of writing:) So is the KC's Roge on hold in the meantime?

Yeah I look back at this and I shudder :D As for the KC's rogue yeah it's on hold till I get the flirts out the way. Which isn't a bad thing as I can chew over what I want to do next. And then I'd actually better play some more NWN2 as well. It's shocking to admit but I haven't yet finished the NWN2 OC once yet.

Bee Hoon
05-02-2008, 11:00 PM
It's shocking to admit but I haven't yet finished the NWN2 OC once yet.
:O:O:O

I supposed you *really* got sidetracked writing the KC's Rogue. How far did you get in the OC?

Don't worry, I look back at some of the mush I wrote and feel like throwing up >.>