View Full Version : 20 Ways to Confuse Santa

Commander 598
12-23-2000, 07:17 PM
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."

Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.

While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.

Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. " Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa. "

Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.

While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.

Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.

Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.

Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.

Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.

Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."
The place was gettin low on the humor side.

Official XWA Gundam Pilot

Darth Sceltor
12-23-2000, 07:59 PM
hah hah hah

12-23-2000, 10:45 PM
You do those things too?

12-23-2000, 11:24 PM

"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

12-24-2000, 12:20 AM
You forgot the most easy and obvious way to confuse Santa:
Leave the fire in the chimney on...

12-24-2000, 12:42 AM
I don't think that's possible. You see, after doing some mathematical calculation, if you count all the catholics in the world, santa would have 1/1000th of a second to get to each house, fill the stuffings, put the presents, and eat the cookies. The acceleration that Santa would suffer from the sled would be so high he'd turn into a pink blolb of flesh. TYhe sled would have to go so fast that the reindeer would literally burn in the air, like an asteroid entering the earth's atmosphere. Plus, he'd need so much space to carry the gifts that he'd need a sled the size of New York to get it all in one trip.

There! the explanation of why Sanat doesn't exist (unless he can defy the laws of physics).

And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale, horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him

12-24-2000, 12:50 AM
You finally fugured that out?

Besides,I dont know how the number of Catholics fit into your equation.

12-24-2000, 12:39 PM
The only solution would be that there is not only one Santa but millions of them: it's a conspiracy !! http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif

12-24-2000, 02:57 PM
don't forget that you don't have to be catholic to celebrate christmas, anyone can so I think the true time would be 1/10000000000000 of a second in each house.

"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

12-24-2000, 05:33 PM
about that conspiricy....

maybe nutes in it!

12-24-2000, 05:40 PM
Duh, you guys...Santa's MAGIC!!!!! http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

12-24-2000, 05:57 PM
Magic has nothing to do with it, It's a conspiracy I tell ya. I'm gonna sue the Santa corp...

12-24-2000, 06:16 PM
Aaaawwww.Jem's not going to get any presents from Santa this year.

12-24-2000, 06:18 PM
First I will wait for my presents afterwords I will sue... http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

12-24-2000, 08:35 PM
I dont think were going to do the elf rank thing again.

Sgt. Cole
12-24-2000, 09:58 PM
Good. I wear my current rank with pride.

To Learn. To Serve. To Advance.
Sgt. Cole, R. 101st RCACS

12-24-2000, 10:23 PM
Hey, It's Christmas over here... right now it's 12:14 AM
So Merry Christmas !
http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/cool.gif http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/tongue.gif

[This message has been edited by Jem (edited December 24, 2000).]

Darth Sceltor
12-25-2000, 01:38 AM
I bet Santa didn't visit you, though.

12-25-2000, 03:55 AM
Whew!!! That was close...Santa pulled out a toy gun and the poeple in MY 'hood out UZIs and 45 auto mags. Ever seen a sled with eight tiny reindeer scratch off???

Boldly going...Nowhere

12-25-2000, 03:12 PM
So your not going to be Nitro again?I thought your time is up.

OK.What did everybody get?

I got MI2 DVD,2 Gundam Wing DVDs,The Matrix CD,Tommorow Never Dies CD,wallet,bunches of sweat shirts,Voodoo5 3D card, and money.

And I got a box of crayons from you guys. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif
Thank you.

12-27-2000, 09:11 AM

Okay, what did little Sante bring me this year:

First and most important Santa was so kind to kick some butts so I get that high speed internet connection ready! So I can finally surf like everybody else!
Secon, I got this cool long black leather coat. (We're talking real letaher, and Matrix long and cool http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif )
Then I got 128MB RAM for my Laptop, some movie tickets from my sis, and of course some money from my grandma 'n stuff...

All in all I must say it was pretty good this year...

Murphy was an optimist!
Webmaster of the X-Wing Alliance Upgrade Project (http://www.xwaupgrade.com)

Flying Beastie
12-27-2000, 12:59 PM
Rommie's (That's Andromeda, for those of you who don't watch the show) right; Santa is a sorceror. Time-freeze is one of the most useful spells there is.

As for what I got, see the Merry Christmas thread. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/cool.gif

"Do fish-people eat fish, or would that be like humans eating monkeys?"
"Humans do eat monkeys. In fact humans eat other humans. . . Y'know, as a species, we are really quite unpleasant."

12-28-2000, 12:55 AM


*Joker, to the helicopter gunner*

"How can you shoot women, and children?"
"Easy! You just don't lead 'em so much!!!"
-Full Metal Jacket

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