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Zoom Rabbit
02-20-2001, 08:15 AM
Once upon a time, there was a farmer who was showing his farm off to a visiting news reporter. Out in the animal pens, he was pointing out his prized livestock. 'That's my blue-ribbon geese,' he said proudly.

The reporter walked up to the geese and asked them, 'So, what is life like here on the farm?'

To the farmer's utter astonishment, the geese replied, 'Fine, fine. We get lots of feed, and the farmer keeps us safe from coyotes.'

'Uhm,' said the farmer, 'I didn't know geese could talk.'

'Why, of course they can!' laughed the reporter. 'So can this cow, too!'

'Yes, indeed,' spoke the cow. 'And I would just like to say that I get plenty of hay, but what I'd really like is some corn!'

By now the farmer was aghast. His animals were talking.

'Heck, they all talk,' the reporter went on. 'Let's go over there and talk to the sheep--!'

But before he could get there, all of the sheep emitted enormous bolts of electricity amongst themselves, crackling fiercely in the afternoon sun, then burst into flames.

'I forgot to tell you,' said the farmer, 'I have electric sheep.'

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif

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http://www.geocities.com/area51/cavern/3129/awingtrs.gif

'Oh, no--you did not shoot that green s**t at me!'

Plasmo
02-20-2001, 08:46 AM
I don't get it http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/confused.gif

Zoom Rabbit
02-20-2001, 09:30 AM
Oh.

Howzabout this one, then?

Q: 'How many electric sheep does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'

A: 'Zero--electric sheep provide their own illumination.'

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

Zoom Rabbit
02-20-2001, 09:34 AM
Or even...

Q: What do you call an electric sheep with no legs?

A: Grounded.

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

Rogue Nine
02-20-2001, 10:11 AM
I think Zoomie's been drinking again...

milkshake
02-20-2001, 05:56 PM
Correction, Zoomie HAS been drinking again

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Self proclaimed Forum 90's Dude
milkshake@milkshake.co.uk

'Now, if I could just say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker.

Admiral Zaarin
02-20-2001, 05:58 PM
Second Correction: Zoomie has immersed himself in a tank of pure alcohol again.<font size=-2>

[This message has been edited by Admiral Zaarin (edited February 20, 2001).]

Psycho Tycho
02-20-2001, 06:07 PM
That reminds me of Pokémon. There's an electric sheep called Mareep.

<font size=1>

[This message has been edited by Psycho Tycho (edited February 20, 2001).]

Zoom Rabbit
02-20-2001, 07:33 PM
Baa! Baa! *Fzap! Crackle!* Ba-aa!

Admiral
02-20-2001, 07:55 PM
shots the sheep in the head. Problem solved.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

Zoom Rabbit
02-20-2001, 07:59 PM
*(Static backcharge electrocutes Admiral)*

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif When are you going to learn that the animals I bring onto the forum are A: dangerous, and B: infinite?

*(Cloned electric sheep arrive in large numbers. The power supply problem for California is solved.)*

Zoom Rabbit
02-20-2001, 08:11 PM
Zen electric sheep riddle:

'What is the sound of one electric sheep arcing?'

Rogue Nine
02-20-2001, 09:07 PM
Go away, Zoom.

Darth Sceltor
02-20-2001, 09:07 PM
*Shakes head in amusement/wonderment*

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

Andromeda
02-20-2001, 09:09 PM
a better sheep joke: http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

a blond woman gets sick of all of the blond jokes and everyone making fun of her so she dyes her hair brown. one day she is driving along a country road when she spies a sheep farm, with the shepherd out with the herd. she pulls over her car and walks to the fence.
she calls out to the shepherd, "if i can guess how many sheep you have, can i pick one and take it home with me?"
the shepherd agrees to this, thinking she won't guess the number.
the blond says, "you have 342 sheep."
the farmer is flabbergasted. "that's right!" he exclaims.
"can i pick my sheep now?" the blond asks.
"i suppose," says the farmer, and she picks out the cutest sheep from among the herd.
the farmer thinks for a minute and then says to the blond, "if i can guess your natural hair color, can i have my dog back?"

hahahaha http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

Admiral
02-20-2001, 09:58 PM
ha ha http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

Rogue Nine
02-20-2001, 10:35 PM
That's byoo-tee-ful, Andy.

Admiral Zaarin
02-20-2001, 11:15 PM
That's the best blond joke I've heard in a long time.

Commander 598
02-20-2001, 11:37 PM
Zoom=Very Bad Joke
Andy=Much better joke thatn Zoom


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http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/3129/tieadv.gif
"Oh, yes I did shoot that green s**t at you!"

emupiett
02-21-2001, 12:31 AM
I agree one hundred percent. I was going to say that the best joke yet was NOT by zoom!

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"Intensify forward firepower!!"

Keyan Farlander
02-21-2001, 04:16 AM
This thread is...really weird.

Jabba The Hunt
02-21-2001, 06:43 AM
yeah i could tell any number of sheep jokes but the ones i know would probably get not only my ip banned but milkshakes, coffees, etc... aswell so i wont

rather pointless post really

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"Life - dont talk to me about life"

Zoom Rabbit
02-21-2001, 07:33 AM
...But I'm not finished yet!

Q: why did the electric sheep cross the road?

A: Negative sheep charge on the other side.

Outta here! http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif *Zoom!*

Gold leader
02-21-2001, 08:10 AM
I got a much better blond joke:

A blond woman goes to the barber's and says: "I'd like to get a haircut." And the barber says: "How do you want it?" The blonde: "Just a bit shorter please. And watch out that you don't cut through that small black wire."
The barber starts cutting. But after a while he suddenly gets distracted and cuts right through the wire. He thinks by himself: "I hope she didn't notice anything. I'll just carry on and pretend that nothing has happened."
Thus the barber continues to barber his client. But after a few minutes, the woman falls out of her chair and lies still on the floor. The barber tries to keep his head cool and checks her pulse. He comes to the awful conclusion that she's dead. But when he sees that the cut wire leads to a walkman that now lies next to the body, his fear changes into curiosity. He puts the tape in a stereo and hears: "Breathe in.........breathe out.......breathe in........breathe out......."

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

[This message has been edited by Gold leader (edited February 21, 2001).]

Zoom Rabbit
02-21-2001, 08:25 AM
I'll bet Gold Leader's seen a few electric sheep in his day! *(Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.)*

Actually, the punch line to the very first sheep joke at the top is supposed to be: (instead of the sheep catching on fire.)

The farmer said, 'No, consarnit--everyone knows that sheep lie!'

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

Plasmo
02-21-2001, 08:33 AM
Gee, I'm glad I'm not a) blonde or b) a sheep http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

Zoom Rabbit
02-21-2001, 08:45 AM
I like blondes, but I'm ambivalent toward sheep.

Electric sheep, on the other hand, are loads of fun!

Mary had a little lamb;
its fleece was white as snow.
But when it rained, the power grid the lamb was bound to blow!

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif

Rogue Nine
02-21-2001, 11:04 AM
Oh Lordy...

Zoom Rabbit
02-21-2001, 11:34 AM
Do I smell burning lanolin? *Sniff!*

Cmdr. Cracken
02-21-2001, 12:46 PM
i'm scared.

I'm scared that Zoom is out there.... somewhere.... doing who know what...........

Keyan Farlander
02-21-2001, 04:52 PM
I nearly electrocute myself on a weekly basis in my electric circuit lab for school. I suck http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/cool.gif

Psycho Tycho
02-21-2001, 05:00 PM
<font color="yellow">Yeah.</font>

Admiral
02-21-2001, 06:39 PM
I agree.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

Zoom Rabbit
02-21-2001, 08:54 PM
'If a sheep in the woods is struck by lightning, and there's no one around to hear it...what does this say about the conductivity of sheep?'

Also, I would like to mention that Thomas Edison was known to experiment with wool as a filament material for his most famous invention, the lightbulb. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif

*(Runs and hides)*

Darth Sceltor
02-21-2001, 09:10 PM
*Thinks of the BABE movies for some reason*

BAAAAAAAH RAM EWE!

Rogue 9
02-22-2001, 01:01 AM
what happens when it rains on your sheep -- one who is named after a pod racer

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Leader of 3 Flight
Don't Click Here=&gt; http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/net/ani_smiles.gif (http://www.fungrams.com/haha.html)
Behold the Smiley of Death, Cower in my Shadow, Unworthy ones.

Admiral
02-22-2001, 01:21 AM
well I did, and I don't think it was annoying, All I did was hold down the enter key.......find a funnier one next time.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

Rogue 9
02-22-2001, 01:33 AM
heres a new one but its not much better, if you know of any others tell me, i'll post them in RS.net first

------------------
Leader of 3 Flight
Don't Click Here=&gt; http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/net/ani_smiles.gif (http://www.fungrams.com/haha2.html)
Behold the Smiley of Death, Cower in my Shadow, Unworthy ones.

rosencrantz
02-22-2001, 02:26 AM
a sheep joke (sorry, not electric though my zoom bit)

warning: this joke has been posted by myself on this same forum many many moons ago

<font size=+3> Q. </font size=+3> <font color="red">what is the difference between a rolling stones song and a scottish shepherd?</font color="red">

<font size=+3> A. </font size=+3> <font color="white">the rolling stones song says "hey you, get offa my cloud!" and the scottish shepherd says "hey McLeod, get offa my ewe!"</font color="white">

ewwww http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/cwm/disturbed.gif

Admiral
02-22-2001, 02:43 AM
bad image, very bad image. thanks a lot Ros, you gave me a very bad pic.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

Zoom Rabbit
02-22-2001, 08:58 AM
Rogue 9: you obviously missed my take on 'Mary had a Little Lamb' just eight posts before yours... http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/rolleyes.gif

As for the rest of it...I would just like to mention that using electric sheep in that fashion would involve a great deal of personal risk. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif *!*

Rogue Nine
02-22-2001, 01:22 PM
Seriously, Zoom, you and Plas should hook up...

http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/cwm/disturbed.gif

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Love people. Use things. Not vice versa.
XWA's Resident Finance Manager

Cmdr. Cracken
02-22-2001, 01:46 PM
is Plas a girl or a guy.............?

Rogue 9
02-22-2001, 01:53 PM
I don't think he cares


------------------
Leader of 3 Flight
Don't Click Here=&gt; http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/net/ani_smiles.gif (http://www.fungrams.com/haha2.html)
Behold the Smiley of Death, Cower in my Shadow, Unworthy ones.

Rogue Nine
02-22-2001, 02:37 PM
You tell it, brotha 9.

rosencrantz
02-22-2001, 03:10 PM
<font color="maroon"> !!!!!!!YOU HIJACKED MY SMILEY! </font> http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif
and also, yes plasmo is a female. she is a real-life friend of mine! arent we all pleased that i do not bring milky's-friends type of people here (steals back smiley) http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/cwm/disturbed.gif

Gold leader
02-22-2001, 03:17 PM
What kind of world are we living in. Everybody randomly claiming smilies for her/his personal use. Shame on you all!

Rogue Nine
02-22-2001, 03:21 PM
I'm special, that why I can hijack your smiley. And anyone elses!!! http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

Nute Gunray
02-22-2001, 05:07 PM
Originally posted by rosencrantz:
plasmo is a female

i concur.

K_Kinnison
02-22-2001, 05:32 PM
Plasmo sounds too masculin.. i think she shoudl change it to Plasma http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif

Okay, here is my sheep joke...

A Texan is vacationing in Scotland. He is hiking thru the hills when he see's a farmer going at it with one of his sheep. The texan isn'ttoo shocked, but says "Ya know, we're we come from we usally Shear our sheep"

The Scotsman looks at him, puzzled, and says "Ack ye be daft man, Aye ain't gonna sheer Dis sheep w't anyone"

(sorry if i offended any scots, i am 1/8 scot myself)

Zoom Rabbit
02-22-2001, 07:53 PM
YOU PEOPLE ARE HIJACKING A SILLY THREAD WITH EVEN FURTHER SILLINESS!!! http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

"An electric sheep goes into a bar and sez to the bartender
'Hey, buddy, any women around?' The bartender sez 'Why don't ewe look for eweself?' so then the electric sheep discharges 112,00 volts of electricity into the bartender, killing him instantly."

I believe that plasma is an electricity-associated phenomenon. http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/ruinkai/bunny.gif

Rogue 9
02-22-2001, 08:06 PM
that depends on the type of plasma, blood plasma has nothing to do with power except in horrible accidents involving power plants and diet soda

Zoom Rabbit
02-22-2001, 08:13 PM
It goes: solid, liquid, gas, plasma, energy...the state of which is directly dependent on its vibrational index.

I believe that blood plasma is of the second category, mine is the fourth and an electric sheep has unusual access to the fifth.

Baaa-aa! *Zap!* http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

Rogue 9
02-22-2001, 08:23 PM
is Vibrational INdex a real measurement or are you trying to out BS me.

------------------
Leader of 3 Flight
Don't Click Here=&gt; http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/net/ani_smiles.gif (http://www.fungrams.com/haha2.html)
Behold the Smiley of Death, Cower in my Shadow, Unworthy ones.

Zoom Rabbit
02-22-2001, 08:33 PM
Energy manifests itself as vibration (heat) on the physical plane, right? Add energy to matter and you change its form.*

Really. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

<font size=1>*Melt an ice cube--it goes from solid, to liquid, to gas, and even (if you heat it enough) to plasma form. According to Einstein, energy and matter are interchangeable, which gets us that fifth state.</font>

Rogue 9
02-22-2001, 08:37 PM
Light is energy yet it does not exsist on the physical plane and does not cause friction by itself...I think

------------------
Leader of 3 Flight
Don't Click Here=&gt; http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/net/ani_smiles.gif (http://www.fungrams.com/haha2.html)
Behold the Smiley of Death, Cower in my Shadow, Unworthy ones.

Poor Bastard
02-22-2001, 08:59 PM
This thread is BORING.

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The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

Zoom Rabbit
02-22-2001, 09:04 PM
'Light' is actually lots of little things called photons, which exhibit properties of both a particle and a wave. The energy contained within the photons manifest as heat when the photon is absorbed by something (like a sidewalk on a sunny afternoon.)

Boring? http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/eek.gif If you aren't into the physics, then we could always go back to the electric sheep jokes...!

Rogue 9
02-22-2001, 09:07 PM
does a photon have mass, I know they have been duplicated by some scientists in australia

Rogue Nine
02-22-2001, 09:16 PM
There will be NO physics discussed on this board! I've had enough of AP Physics B and I don't need you people talking about it!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH HH!!!

Zoom Rabbit
02-22-2001, 09:16 PM
It's been suggested that Australian scientists are second in the world only to the Scots when it comes to researching electric sheep.

*!*

Admiral
02-22-2001, 10:51 PM
and you lead the research.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

Rogue 9
02-22-2001, 11:02 PM
No I lead it. I am investigating the posibility of integrating them into the California Power grid to try to ease the Power shortage problems...

Psycho Tycho
02-23-2001, 12:34 AM
Hey Zoomie, your "electric sheep" can be helpful. They can generate electricity for California.

But, they probably got their electricity back any way. Too late. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

Admiral Zaarin
02-23-2001, 12:44 AM
hey, Zoom, are any of those electric sheep for sale? I could do with a few to power the new weapons on my SSD...

Admiral Zaarin
02-23-2001, 12:46 AM
Then again, I heard there may be some electric salamanders going cheap on the mass production market....<font size ="-2">

[This message has been edited by Admiral Zaarin (edited February 22, 2001).]

Cmdr. Cracken
02-23-2001, 01:03 AM
electric salamanders? ha! my electric ELEPHANTS already power the world!

Darth Sceltor
02-23-2001, 01:31 AM
I'm surprised electric weasels haven't made their way into this thread yet.

emupiett
02-23-2001, 01:43 AM
Obviously, they just did. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

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"Intensify forward firepower!!"

Psycho Tycho
02-23-2001, 01:48 AM
Just wait until my electric monkeys come in here and terrorize!

Rogue Nine
02-23-2001, 01:50 AM
You people are nucking futs.

Admiral
02-23-2001, 02:24 AM
I don't need elcetric animals, I use humans. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

Rogue 9
02-23-2001, 02:44 AM
Hamsters power my DEATH STAR. No reactor port to hit on My ship...MWahahahaha

Admiral Zaarin
02-23-2001, 03:21 AM
I have a bountiful supply of electic Ewoks if anyone wants a few...

Keyan Farlander
02-23-2001, 03:36 AM
Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit:
YOU PEOPLE ARE HIJACKING A SILLY THREAD WITH EVEN FURTHER SILLINESS!!! http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

"An electric sheep goes into a bar and sez to the bartender
'Hey, buddy, any women around?' The bartender sez 'Why don't ewe look for eweself?' so then the electric sheep discharges 112,00 volts of electricity into the bartender, killing him instantly."

I believe that plasma is an electricity-associated phenomenon. http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/ruinkai/bunny.gif

First of all, voltage is a measure of electric potential. Secondly... "112,00" isn't even a number.

Nute Gunray
02-23-2001, 03:38 AM
he could have been using the european method of decimal notation. 112.00=112,00

Keyan Farlander
02-23-2001, 06:52 AM
Sure.

Zoom Rabbit
02-23-2001, 07:54 AM
112 watts wouldn't startle a housecat. I meant to say watts, and the number was supposed to be 112,000. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/rolleyes.gif

and whay hasn't anyone brought out any electric rabbits? Hah? *(Plugs himself in.)* Look! I light up! http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

Keyan Farlander
02-23-2001, 08:12 AM
It's the current that really gets you. Even 80 mA of electric current could be enough to kill you.

Zoom Rabbit
02-23-2001, 08:47 AM
How powerful then do you estimate a sheep's capacity if used as a capacitor? Could it store 112,000 watts or not, regardless of the limited amperage implied by the insulating qualities of its wool?

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif

Keyan Farlander
02-23-2001, 08:55 AM
Capacitors store energy, not power, f00.

Zoom Rabbit
02-23-2001, 08:59 AM
Baaa-aa! *(Head butt)*

*(Electrocutes Keyan with exactly 112,000 watts of electricity.)*

Keyan Farlander
02-23-2001, 09:01 AM
That was simply rude.

Zoom Rabbit
02-23-2001, 09:04 AM
Not as rude as naked hillbilly women, drunk on moonshine and shooting up the town with rusty shotguns.

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

What?

Nute Gunray
02-23-2001, 01:22 PM
where i come from that's not rude. it's called "friday."

Rogue Nine
02-23-2001, 02:45 PM
YAAAGHH...that was funny!

ROFLMAO!

Rogue 9
02-23-2001, 03:49 PM
The day will come when animals are sick of our interference in their sophisticated society and they will cause massive thermo-nuclear destruction on a planetary scale while they are all safe in ther eships flying pack to PLuto...No, there after me...I didn't mean it...I won...*BARK**BARK**SCREAMS*

[This message has been edited by Rogue 9 (edited February 23, 2001).]

Admiral
02-23-2001, 08:11 PM
and I will be aboard my starship when that day comes.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

Zoom Rabbit
02-23-2001, 09:09 PM
Pluto?!? The cartoon dog?

Well, I'm a rabbit with a sword. Send in the dog! *(Dresses as bull-fighter.)*

Commander 598
02-24-2001, 12:59 AM
*Whistles*
*Armored Great Dane comes out of a room with mounted auto-targeting laser cannons on its back and sides*
http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/tongue.gif
http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

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http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/3129/tieadv.gif
"Oh, yes I did shoot that green s**t at you!"

Rogue 9
02-24-2001, 01:02 AM
Looks alot like an AT-AT doesn't he...

Darth Sceltor
02-24-2001, 03:17 AM
Trip that dog!

Rogue Nine
02-24-2001, 03:24 AM
I see fuschia monkeys...

Rogue 9
02-24-2001, 03:50 AM
he flamed my airspeeder down, I will now go to the Cantina Scenerio and order a drink

[This message has been edited by Rogue 9 (edited February 24, 2001).]

Zoom Rabbit
02-24-2001, 08:43 AM
Cantina? Space fizzies? Good idea! http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif

Can't take the robot with us, though. They don't serve 'his kind.'

Hey, anyone want this severed dog's head? I'll trade it for a bottle of bactine... http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

Zoom Rabbit
02-24-2001, 09:48 AM
Wally the space dolphin would just like to say that not only are electric sheep real, but provide a solid clientele base for his retail sheep insulator industry.

Wally uses those profits to derail American presidential elections with vote-stuffing, but that's another can of worms...

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif

Darth Sceltor
02-24-2001, 07:29 PM
I bet it was Wally that caused my tyrranical principal to come into power! Him and the nun/librarian with 1 inch-think glasses.....

:suspicious:

Cmdr. Cracken
02-24-2001, 08:05 PM
Electric Lambs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rogue 9
02-24-2001, 08:26 PM
Are they "Silent" Cracken

milkshake
02-24-2001, 09:27 PM
Silence of the lambs...

-Baa!
-Shh!
-Baaaaa!
-Shh!!!
-Baaaaaaaaa!
-Shhhhh!!!!!
-BaaaaaaaaaaAAAAA!!!!!!!
-DINNERS READY!

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Self proclaimed Forum 90's Dude
milkshake@milkshake.co.uk

'Now, if I could just say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker.

Rogue 9
02-25-2001, 01:04 AM
Zoom, is Wally a Democrat from Missouri

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Leader of 3 Flight

"So long and thanks for the fish" - HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy - I liked that book.

Nute Gunray
02-25-2001, 01:23 AM
SHOOT THE HOSTAGE

Zoom Rabbit
02-25-2001, 01:40 AM
FOR GREAT JUSTICE

Commander 598
02-25-2001, 01:41 AM
BLOW UP THE HOSTAGE

Nute Gunray
02-25-2001, 01:46 AM
i hope that AYB dies soon...

Zoom Rabbit
02-25-2001, 07:29 AM
I think we should all just consider ourselves hostage to the constant but underrated danger posed by objects (meteors, airplanes, pianos, etc.) falling from the sky without warning.

Zoom Rabbit
02-25-2001, 09:51 AM
I have just finished some major experimentation, and would like to share the results with the forum.

When you inject sheep with caffeine, then subject them to electric shocks, air horns and strobe lights, the bleating sound they normally make begins to sound like a dolphin's chatter.

Wally is currently attending a ping-pong tournament at the bottom of the ocean and is unavailable for comment. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

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'It takes forty-seven muscles to frown...but only two to pull the trigger.'

milkshake
02-25-2001, 12:39 PM
How do you play Ping pong underwater?

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Self proclaimed Forum 90's Dude
milkshake@milkshake.co.uk

'Now, if I could just say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker.

Cmdr. Cracken
02-25-2001, 01:14 PM
Very carefully. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

Zoom Rabbit
02-25-2001, 09:11 PM
Wally says that the balls are filled with a combination of seawater and gasoline for the proper buoyancy. Paddles don't work, so the combatants are armed with claw hammers.

Wally also says that there are many bizarre and outlandish things going on at the bottom of the ocean that 'air-breathers' like us can only imagine about.

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

TheRogue 3000
02-25-2001, 10:16 PM
I have a question. What does Wally breathe when in space?

------------------
Official Forum Lord of Salmon
and Emmisary of Goats
To save time, let's just say I know everything.

JR2000Z
02-25-2001, 10:21 PM
Helium from the sun of course!

Thats what makes him squeak!

TheRogue 3000
02-25-2001, 10:26 PM
Ohhhhhhhhhhh...

Zoom Rabbit
02-26-2001, 09:14 AM
Wally breathes...dolphin gas!!! http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif Here, have a snort--!

milkshake
02-26-2001, 03:07 PM
I'll have some of that

/me takes a sniff.
/me passes out.

------------------
Self proclaimed Forum 90's Dude
milkshake@milkshake.co.uk

'Now, if I could just say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker.

Admiral
02-26-2001, 05:52 PM
Jumps up and down on Milky limp body

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

milkshake
02-26-2001, 07:16 PM
/me vomits over idiot stamoing on me.

------------------
Self proclaimed Forum 90's Dude
milkshake@milkshake.co.uk

'Now, if I could just say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker.

Admiral
02-26-2001, 10:30 PM
damn it milky those are my favorite boots.

Makes Milky drink what he threw up. Then goes off and cleans boots far away from milky.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

Darth Sceltor
02-27-2001, 12:25 AM
How can Wally be a Democrat from Missouri? I'm a <s>Communist</s> <s>Progressive Element</s> person from Missouri and I've never seen him!

milkshake
02-27-2001, 05:38 AM
Right then! Who wants to join my angry mob to kill Sceltor the communist (Sceltor need not apply) http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

------------------
Self proclaimed Forum 90's Dude
milkshake@milkshake.co.uk

'Now, if I could just say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker.

Plasmo
02-27-2001, 08:39 AM
I'm a fascist myself. Long live dictatorship!!

Zoom Rabbit
02-27-2001, 08:58 AM
I'm a samurai. My social philosophies are sharp and incisive. http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/splarka/As-one.gif

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

[This message has been edited by Zoom Rabbit (edited February 27, 2001).]

Zoom Rabbit
02-27-2001, 09:04 AM
Bah!

Could someone help me, and tell me (the clueless one) why my favorite smilie won't work? http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/rolleyes.gif

Or is it just on my (also clueless) computer that it won't work?

Admiral
02-27-2001, 06:00 PM
I think it isn't working becuase your comp doesn't like you.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

Poor Bastard
02-27-2001, 06:02 PM
Originally posted by milkshake:
Who wants to join my angry mob to kill Sceltor

I would die a happy man if I made Sceltor die a slow, painfull death.


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The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

Nute Gunray
02-27-2001, 07:21 PM
Originally posted by Plasmo:
I'm a fascist myself. Long live dictatorship!!

hmmm, a true fascisti would NEVER want longevity of their glorious nation-state, for as one of our slogans goes "Better to live one day as a Lion, than a thousand years as the Sheep."

Zoom Rabbit
02-27-2001, 08:53 PM
'It is better to live one day as an electric sheep than to live a thousand lion-lifetimes!'

The benefits of energized grazing cannot be underestimated. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

Note: lions aren't properly insulated to dispatch electrified prey.

Jem
03-05-2001, 08:18 PM
Over here in Sénégal it's the special time of year where for once, sheeps are the center of attention. What I mean by that is that poor lonely sheeps are adopted by caring families who take care of them and feed them well until the day of "Tabaski" arrives. On that very special day the cute and lovely animal is held by the head of the family who happens to have a knife and cuts the sheep's throat wide open thus ripping apart the entire neck and its inner structure and letting the blood leak, slur, flow, spread, belch forth, spew at a incredible rate: blood will follow blood and so on.
It's very interresting to see, trust me. Goats will also be sacrified, you see the coran says that does who don't have enough $$ to kill a sheep can slaughter a goat.

Anyways, I wanted to know:
can the "Electric Sheep" survive Tabaski ??

millions of sheep and goats will die slaughtered in about 24 hours, for now I can still hear my neighbour's but not for long. For that I have no school tomorow.
<font size=1>



[This message has been edited by Jem (edited March 05, 2001).]

Zoom Rabbit
03-05-2001, 08:21 PM
To answer your question, electric sheep need a more varied diet than mere tabasco.* They usually graze wild on zap-grass and voltweed, but in captivity they usually get by on plain, old AC current straight out of the wall. This is where you must be absolutely sure that yours is an electric sheep, because normal sheep react quite differently when introduced to 220 AC!

Note: when dispatching these animals, it is important to be well insulated from the ground and wear proper electrician's gloves. I would suggest using a rubber-handled knife as well, for added safety.

Have a safe and fun killing spree. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif

<font size=1>*'Tabasco' is a hot pepper sauce made in the US.</font>

Rogue 9
03-05-2001, 08:32 PM
trys to cut in to sheepp <FONT SIZE=5>*ZAPPPP!*</FONT>lies stunned on ground. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif <FONT SIZE=1>

[This message has been edited by Rogue 9 (edited March 05, 2001).]

Jem
03-05-2001, 08:34 PM
Ok, I will pass along the message because we don't do the Tabaski stuff, not our culture...

And what would come out instead of blood?? and if it's a 110 AC sheep is there no problem using an adaptor to plug it as a 220 or is the electric sheep equiped with one?

Zoom Rabbit
03-05-2001, 08:56 PM
Most electric sheep have internal adapters--it should say on the plug-in. Some newer models even come with their own modems for internet access. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

Do they bleed? Of course they do...it's just that the iron in their blood is highly magnetized.

Jem
03-05-2001, 09:07 PM
Forsooth, I now understand although I doubt that many people here can afford an electric sheep for Tabaski.

Zoom Rabbit
03-06-2001, 04:55 AM
If one were to take that last sentence of Jem's and paste it up somewhere, out of context, it would be the craziest thing anyone has ever seen!

I can't believe we're still telling electric sheep jokes six pages later... http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

Keyan Farlander
03-06-2001, 05:09 AM
From Mozart's Don Giovanni

Donna Anna:
Tu sei!... perdon, mio bene -
L'affanno mio, le pene...
Ah! il padre mio dov'è?

Don Pecora Elèttrico:
Il padre? Lascia, o cara,
la rimembranza amara.
Hai pardre e pecora elèttrico in me.


If you didn't get that, trust me - it was hilarious.

Jem
03-06-2001, 12:44 PM
I am currently analysing and decoding your joke, I will soon laugh.
Oh yeah: I made a mistake, the sheep/goat slaughtering was this morning (about 8 hours ago)
and not this night like I thought.
Millions of sheep/electric sheep/goat are now dead.
<font size=1>

[This message has been edited by Jem (edited March 06, 2001).]

Rogue 9
03-06-2001, 01:19 PM
Was that Italian?, if it was it must lose something in the translation

Psycho Tycho
03-06-2001, 01:20 PM
Dude, it's not a joke, it's a song.

Admiral
03-06-2001, 01:34 PM
and this is the funny part http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

Jem
03-06-2001, 02:07 PM
Originally posted by Keyan Farlander:

Donna Anna:
Tu sei!... perdon, mio bene -
L'affanno mio, le pene...
Ah! il padre mio dov'è?

Don Pecora Elèttrico:
Il padre? Lascia, o cara,
la rimembranza amara.
Hai pardre e pecora elèttrico in me.


translation brought to you by Jem

Miss Anna:
Tu sei!... pardon me, my dear sir -
My anxiety, sorrows you...
Ah! father of mine where art thou?

Sir Electric Sheep:
The father? Gone, or cara,
you remember loving.
To have father and electric sheep in me.

What's so Hilarious?? it's kinda 'ebete

and while I was decoding all of that thanks to my knowledge and pocket dictionary I supposed you meant pena instead of pene
you see pene means: well I don't want to risk getting in any trouble but this shoud help you: take pene and replace the last e with is and that's what pene means.
and it would be too weird for her to say:
My anxiety, to your pene

Rogue 9
03-06-2001, 02:13 PM
I decoded it with Altavista Babel fish, the internet makes it so easy to be lazy

Keyan Farlander
03-06-2001, 02:21 PM
Originally posted by Jem:
What's so Hilarious?? it's kinda 'ebete

and while I was decoding all of that thanks to my knowledge and pocket dictionary I supposed you meant pena instead of pene
you see pene means: well I don't want to risk getting in any trouble but this shoud help you: take pene and replace the last e with is and that's what pene means.
and it would be too weird for her to say:
My anxiety, to your pene


I don't speak Italian - I copied that part from elsewhere on the web and replaced the needed parts, so that pene thing was not my fault http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif

It's funny if you are familiar with this opera. Since it is one of the most famous operas, I thought most people would know this part. What makes it great is that you imagine an electric sheep singing to Donna Anna. That is funny! She is very sad over the death of her father, and Don Ottavio says she will have both a husband and father in him. In this new version, an electric sheep tells her she has both father and electric sheep in him. Get it? No? Well, I laughed when I thought of it...

[This message has been edited by Keyan Farlander (edited March 06, 2001).]

Rogue 9
03-06-2001, 02:27 PM
umm, yah, ok, sure...SECURITY!

edlib
03-06-2001, 02:28 PM
So, if androids dream of electric sheep, what do electric sheep dream about?

Rogue 9
03-06-2001, 03:03 PM
Hi-Energy Capicitors, Alternators, and Power Plants

Keyan Farlander
03-06-2001, 03:19 PM
Dang you all!

Rogue 9
03-06-2001, 03:50 PM
I wish you twice what you wish for me

Zoom Rabbit
03-06-2001, 07:11 PM
Edlib, eh? New unit in the house! http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif Welcome, and please be careful around the sheep...they are charged with high-voltage electricity!

Pecora elettrico, eh? Friggin' hilarious, dood. Plan on sharing any of that? http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

Zoom Rabbit
03-06-2001, 07:12 PM
Edlib, eh? New unit in the house! http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif Welcome, and please be careful around the sheep...they are charged with high-voltage electricity!

Pecora elettrico, eh? Friggin' hilarious, dood. Plan on sharing any of that? http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

edlib
03-06-2001, 11:49 PM
Thanx Z.R. Glad to be here.
Hey, I got a love ballad that I wrote for my electric sheep, and I think it gonna be a big, big hit. It's called "I Get A 12,000 Volt Kick Out Of Ewe"


Er.... Sorry. I had to. Please don't hurt me.

Besides, it's the amps that'll kill ya.

Keyan Farlander
03-07-2001, 12:48 AM
Originally posted by edlib:
Besides, it's the amps that'll kill ya.

Zoom and I went through all that already http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

edlib
03-07-2001, 02:48 AM
Yeah, well... Like they say in the old country: "There's nothing like flogging a dead horse". Or should that be "unplugged sheep"? I sure don't want to be the one the take an already silly thread into far uncharted territory. Maybe I should leave the sado-masochistic necro-bestiality subtext for another forum. What think you?

Zoom Rabbit
03-07-2001, 08:00 AM
Are you suggesting that the addition of electricity enhances the, uhm, domestic qualities of sheep? http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/eek.gif

That's horrible! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! *Zap!*-self! *Zap!*-self!

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

Jem
03-07-2001, 06:17 PM
Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit:
I can't believe we're still telling electric sheep jokes six pages later... http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

hum, make that seven pages later...
The electric sheep is immortal!

Zoom Rabbit
03-07-2001, 10:09 PM
Well, the rechargeable ones are, anyway...

Rogue 9
03-07-2001, 11:17 PM
*Silently Wonders Why this Thread is Still Here*

------------------
Leader of 3 Flight
IAN_CDT_Rogue9, RA_Rogue9

Admiral
03-07-2001, 11:30 PM
Experiment:

Materials needed: 1 Electric Sheep, 1 DS, 1 bucket of water.

Procedure attach DS to the Electric Sheep and throw water on the two, record results.

Data http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/redface.gifnce water was thrown on to DS and the Electric sheep DS was electricuted.

Conclusion:repeat as many times as possible, for better experiments used larger sheeps.

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

Rogue 9
03-08-2001, 12:15 AM
For Best Result Preform on Humid Day with Loudspeaker and Cattle Prod... http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

Zoom Rabbit
03-08-2001, 08:06 AM
I'm trying to reproduce your results, but don't know what a 'DS' is. I ran the experiment once with Darth Sceltor on a hunch, and now I can't get him off the thing.*

Perhaps I will try a Death Sword next...

http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/wink.gif

<font size=1>*Electromagnetism, you perverts.</font>

Admiral
03-08-2001, 07:13 PM
A DS, is Darth Selector.

you can't electricute a sword http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb