View Full Version : Darkness Rising

Diego Varen
07-18-2006, 04:59 PM
Hello all, this is a new Fic I plan to write soon. It will be set after TSL and will star the Exile, Jaden Lennon (Named after my idol John Lennon from The Beatles). He is a Jedi Consular and will also be a Jedi Master (When I get to that stage of the game). I've currently started a new game with him and plan to start writing this Fic as soon as possible. One question though. Should he had a blue Lightsaber or a green Lightsaber?

Jason Skywalker
07-18-2006, 05:22 PM
Green. Or Viridian, it's cooler. :P

Master Jimmy
07-18-2006, 06:20 PM
well both our exiles have the same idea, mines page, yours is lennon. anyway lookin forward to it.

07-18-2006, 08:32 PM
Sounds fun. Make his sabre cyan, it's a balance of green and blue. At least in RGB colour standards.

Diego Varen
07-19-2006, 02:02 AM
I'll decided to go with green. Just to let you know, my Exile is the one that looks a lot like Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon Jinn. Sorry if this first Chapter is short, but I just wanted to introduce it, so nobody gets bored. Also this isn't KOTOR III. This will be set before that.

Chapter I
Happy Landings

The Ebon Hawk sped through space at an uncontrollable speed. Inside the Ebon Hawk, the alarms had sounded, causing everyone to panic. Except the captain of the Ebon Hawk, Jaden Lennon, who was once an exile. He ran into the cockpit to see his friend, Atton Rand having trouble trying to control the ship.

“What happened?” Jaden asked.

“I don’t know,” Atton told him, “But something has gone wrong with the ship.”

“Do you know what?” Jaden asked.

“No and at the moment I don’t want to know, because we need to get to Telos soon.” Atton told Jaden.

Bao-Dur entered the cockpit. He was a Zabrak who was an experienced engineer, during the Mandalorian Wars. He had also served Jaden.

“General, I’m sorry I interrupted your argument,” He told Jaden, “We’ll have to crash land somewhere if we want to survive.”

“Well where are we going to crash land Mr. Fix-It??” Atton asked sarcastically.

Atton and Bao-Dur continued to argue, while Jaden looked on the Galaxy Map. There was only one Planet to crash land on. This Planet, Jaden had hoped never to go there again. Korriban. A Sith Planet. Jaden sighed out loud, hoping Atton and Bao-Dur would stop arguing. They wouldn’t. Jaden decided to do something he didn’t normally do.

“Be quiet!” He shouted.

Both Atton and Bao-Dur flinched at hear their friend shout.

“Now, we’ve only got two choices,” Jaden continued, “Korriban or die here. Choose now.”

Jaden thought he sounded like his master, Kreia. She was an old woman, who helped Jaden relearn the ways of the Force. There was one thing, Jaden and his friends didn’t know at the time and they didn’t find out until too late. Kreia was using Jaden for her plans. Jaden never fell to the dark side, during his time with Kreia and not even when he was exiled after the Mandalorian Wars.

“We’re crash landing on Korriban.” Atton told Jaden.

“Brace yourselves.” Bao-Dur continued.

Jaden watched out of the window as he felt the Ebon Hawk descend onto Korriban’s surface.

Ouch! Jaden thought, This pain will last for a while. Jaden awoke to see everyone watching him.

“What happened?” He asked.

“You were knocked unconscious from the crash.” The Handmaiden, Brianna told Jaden.

“The rest of us managed to stay conscious.” The once apprentice of Darth Nihilus, Visas Marr continued.

Well Jaden’s question was answered. He had to figure out how to leave Korriban. He assumed they were still there. Jaden decided to get up, but he felt a staggering pain in his stomach. It hurt so much, that Jaden needed to lie back down on the medical bay's bed.

“Please relax.” Visas told Jaden, cushioning him.

“We’ll figure a way to get off Korriban General,” Bao-Dur continued, “T3 and I shall fix the ship, the best we can.”

Jaden smiled weakly. He doubted his and everyone else’s efforts.

“Thanks Bao-Dur,” Jaden said, “Another happy landing.”

And with his last words, he drifting off into a long deep sleep.

Stay tuned for Chapter II The Mysterious Ghost

07-19-2006, 04:43 AM
w00t! RotS quote! :D
good work, Pottise, looking forward to more.

Jason Skywalker
07-19-2006, 05:05 AM
Yeah Pottsie, another good one.
Also, i was the one that started the Jaden Exile trend. :p

07-19-2006, 09:52 AM
Good job, Pottsie. That was an interesting start. Keep it up.

Diego Varen
07-19-2006, 11:11 AM
Thanks for all the comments. Yeah, Jason started the Jaden Exile trend, but I've got quite attached to the name, since The Sith Lord. Also the ROTS Quote, I liked and I usually use it for the first Chapter and something for the main Character to say.

Now preparing to write Chapter II.

07-19-2006, 01:13 PM
I don't know what to make of it yet, but I'm interested to see where the story will take us.

Jason Skywalker
07-19-2006, 03:07 PM
What's the ROTS quote anyways? Cuz i haven't seen ROTs in a good long time. :p

07-19-2006, 03:23 PM
when Obi Wan, Anakin and Palpy crash land on coruscant after the space battle in the beginning, Obi Wan says it. gotta luv it :D

Jason Skywalker
07-19-2006, 03:25 PM
I asked what was the quote. :D

I'm guessing it's the Brace yourselves?

07-19-2006, 03:40 PM
oh, that. no, it was
"Another happy landing" :D

Jason Skywalker
07-19-2006, 03:51 PM
OH, that. Thanks.

Master Jimmy
07-19-2006, 06:09 PM
Wowey..... Awesome man, that's some good stuff.

Diego Varen
07-20-2006, 02:40 AM
Thanks Revanscool. Here's Chapter II.

Chapter II
The Mysterious Ghost

A day had passed since the Ebon Hawk’s “happy landing” had occurred. Bao-Dur and the Utility Droid, T3-M4 were busy trying to repair the engines, but to no avail. Jaden had been lying on the medical bay’s bed, trying to recover from his serious injuries. The rest of the crew had done nothing important. Then again, there was nothing for them to do.

Nightfall soon arrived and everyone had gone to his or her dormitories to sleep. Except Jaden. He felt restless. He wanted to get up and do something, but he was still injured. He sighed out loud and grabbed a spare component. Feeling frustrated, he threw the component to the other side of the medical bay.

“Somebody is angry.” A deep, feminine voice echoed around the room.

Jaden looked around and he could see nobody there. He knew the voice was familiar. It was a voice that he thought he would never hear again.

“Who is there?” Jaden asked.

“Someone you know,” The voice echoed, “Or someone you once knew.”

Jaden then knew who was speaking to him. But how? She had died along with Malachor V.

“Kreia?” Jaden asked.

A ghostly form of his former master appeared in front of him. She wasn’t Darth Traya this time. Now she was Kreia. The Kreia that Jaden knew before she revealed herself as Traya. She smiled.

“Your insights serve you well,” Kreia told Jaden, “You seem restless.”

Jaden sighed. He knew she was right, but he didn’t want to tell her. Whatever Jaden said to her, she always seemed angry.

“You could say that,” He told her, “Let’s just say that ever since I destroyed Malachor V, things have been falling apart.”

Kreia seemed interested in what Jaden was telling her.

“I thought that now that Malachor V was destroyed, the echo in the Force would be over.” Jaden continued.

“Oh trust me, it is,” Kreia told Jaden, “You’ve saved the Galaxy from destruction for a moment, but you haven’t saved yourself, nor your friends. Or even the Galaxy, not truly”

Jaden seemed confused. Had the destruction of Malachor not removed the echo of the Force from him? Did it mean nothing? Were there more threats in the Galaxy? As if reading his mind, Kreia answered Jaden’s questions.

“The echo has been separated from you, but even now you, your friends and the Galaxy are at the verge of destruction. Malachor’s destruction was nothing. There are more Sith worlds in the Outer Rim and the Unknown Regions. The most dangerous of the Sith are the True Sith.”

“The True Sith?” Jaden asked, “What are they?”

“You’ll soon find out.” Kreia told Jaden, fading away.

“No Kreia don’t go!” Jaden called out, “Don’t go! Don’t go. Don’t.”

Jaden’s frustration returned. Why wouldn’t Kreia tell Jaden anything? Was he supposed to find out everything himself? That night, Jaden had trouble falling to sleep.

That night, Jaden had a dream. Or was it a vision? Either way, it wasn’t a very nice dream. Jaden saw himself on the top of a cliff, surrounded by thousands of mindless disciples of the dark side. One of the disciples walked towards Jaden and spoke in a language, Jaden didn’t understand.

“What do you want with me?” Jaden spat.

The disciple continued to speak, but Jaden still couldn’t understand what he was saying. By the sounds of it, it didn’t sound good. The disciple reached into his pocket and took out an old vibroblade.

“You may have trapped me, but I can still use the Force to help me!” Jaden shouted at the disciple.

He tried to find his Lightsaber, but couldn’t feel it. Where was it? Then Jaden noticed that one of the disciples had it. He turned around to see the first disciple lifting up his vibroblade, ready to strike. Jaden shouted out as the disciple’s vibroblade crashed onto him.

Jaden awoke in the medical bay again and screamed out loud, hoping nobody would hear. Unfortunately somebody did. They weren’t really somebody. They were two Droids. T3 and the Assassin Droid, HK-47.

“Statement. My counterpart and I heard some screams from here.” HK told Jaden.

Jaden sighed.

“Yes HK,” Jaden told him, “Did I disturb you both?”

“Answer. Quite the contrary, we needed a bit of excitement in our lives.” HK told Jaden.

T3 beeped his agreement.

“Maybe you two better return to what you were doing?” Jaden told them.

“Annoyance. Fine.” HK muttered, hoping Jaden wouldn’t hear.

Jaden sighed once again when HK and T3 left. He felt slightly better now, so in the morning, he’d get up and try and find a way off Korriban. Maybe there would be some parts somewhere. Hopefully luck was on his side. For once.

Stay tuned for Chapter III Danger!

07-20-2006, 03:23 AM
good chapter once again, Pottsie, but the HK dialogues are quite different. firstly, there is a ':' mark after "Statement" or "Answer" or whatever. secondly, i dont think he uses the term "annoyance:" :)
anyway, the rest of the chapter was good. Looking forward to more!

07-20-2006, 05:30 AM
Nice one, but I agree with RC when it comes to HK-47, I don't think he'd say something like ''...we needed a bit of excitement in our lives'', I think he'd more likely say something like ''No master, it always cheers me up to hear a meatbag scream in horror.'' :) (By the way, if you want to change HK's line feel free to use this one and if you have trouble thinking of something for him to say don't hesitate to ask.)

Jason Skywalker
07-20-2006, 06:16 AM
Bah, you're just saying that cuz you're both HK maniacs. :p
What can i say, it's the usual.

07-20-2006, 06:32 AM
no problemo, we HK maniacs are ready to help :D. seriously, dont hesitate to ask.

07-20-2006, 08:46 AM
Very nice.

I'm in no way a HK maniac, and in fact I don't like him, as he is much to annoying. But I do agree that he should say something like what igyman suggested and there should be a ":" after stuff like Statement: Answer: Question/Inquery: Annoyance:, etc.


07-20-2006, 11:15 AM
Good job, Pottsie. That chapter sets up the story nicely.

Diego Varen
07-20-2006, 11:57 AM
Thanks for the comments all. I'm not the greatest person with HK, but I tried my best. I'm no HK obsessed person. I couldn't think of anything to say for HK's line. God I need to play the game again. :lol:

I'll start writing Chapter III soon.

07-20-2006, 12:36 PM
and in fact I don't like him, as he is much to annoying.

Statement: Assassination protocols initiated. Prepare to die, meatbag! :xp:

Jason Skywalker
07-20-2006, 03:21 PM
Statement: For not liking me, this meatbag is my primary target and will be eliminated at all costs...maybe not all. :p

07-20-2006, 09:20 PM
Statement: Junkpile droid can blow up for all I care. I happen to like being a meatbag because I actually am an intelligent lifeform. ;) (beat that!)

Jason Skywalker
07-21-2006, 05:22 AM
Statement: Ahhh...you stink! *runs away*

07-21-2006, 06:16 AM
I just started reading this Fan-fic, and i really like it :)
Keep them coming!

07-21-2006, 08:45 AM
@ Jason&Yaggles: Statement: Mods no like spam! :D

Jason Skywalker
07-21-2006, 10:35 AM
Statement: You are right. Meatbag named Pottsie, are you working on the next chapter?

Diego Varen
07-21-2006, 12:36 PM
Statement: You are right. Meatbag named Pottsie, are you working on the next chapter?

As I mentioned before, I've started working on it. I've finally broke up for the Summer Holidays, so I'll hopefully write more. Also thanks for all the comments and no HK spam now please.

Jason Skywalker
07-21-2006, 03:19 PM
Alright. It was getting kinda boring now.

Diego Varen
07-21-2006, 04:46 PM
This next Chapter that I'll post as soon as possible, will include a new person who will join Jaden and the others. He has been inspired by the Doctor off Doctor Who and has the same powers, but he isn't a Time Lord. Hopefully Canderous will return in either Chapters IV or V.

Diego Varen
07-21-2006, 05:19 PM
Chapter III

The next morning had arrived quicker than Jaden expected. Now he would have to find the parts to repair the Ebon Hawk’s engine on Korriban’s surface. The only problem was that the chances of finding some parts for an engine were a million to one. Especially now that Dreshdae was gone.

Jaden’s friends were in the main hold, waiting for him to arrive. They had been waiting for an hour now.

“Something must be wrong,” Visas murmured, “He wouldn’t take this long.”

“For once I think you’re right.” Brianna told her.

Jaden appeared. He had been using his Stealth Field Generator to remain invisible. He had heard everything his friends had said.

“I didn’t know everyone was worried about me.” Jaden told them, laughing to himself.

“Well Mira and I weren’t, but the others were crying out for you.” Atton told him sarcastically.

“Statement. Don’t forget myself and my counterpart Meatbag!” HK shouted at Atton.

Jaden sighed. He had to go soon and he would need some help.

“Okay, I’m going to go onto Korriban and search for an engine,” Jaden started, “And I may need some help, so…”

Jaden stopped speaking to expect everyone begging to go with him. Kreia had told him that he was a born leader. However, nobody offered to go with him. Even Bao-Dur didn’t offer. He then spoke.

“I’ll stay and work on the ship.” He told Jaden.

T3 beeped.

“Statement. My counterpart and I shall protect this meatbag,” HK told Jaden, “Just in case if you know what I mean.”

“Yeah and I will protect the cockpit,” Atton told Jaden, scratching his hair slightly, “And play Pazaak. With myself.”

Nobody else said anything. Jaden was getting worried now. Had all his friends lost faith in him, since the echo within him had gone? Surely if Canderous the Mandalore leader was here, he would go with him?

“Well if nobody is coming with me, I guess I’ll go on my own.” Jaden said finally, before leaving the Ebon Hawk.

From the top of the high, Korriban mountains, a strange man watched over the Valley of the Dark Lords. He was covered with a battered black robe, which covered his whole body and even his face. He had seen the ship land on Korriban. He felt as if he had seen this ship before, over ten years ago. The man watched as a man who wore a Jedi robe look around Korriban. Now was his chance to see this man. The man who he had once trained with during the Mandalorian Wars.

Jaden sighed. This must be the one hundredth time I’ve sighed today, He thought, I’m getting pretty sick of it too.

“Jaden wait up!” A voice called out from behind him.

Jaden turned around to see Brianna, along with Visas and the Bounty Hunter Mira.

“What are you three gorgeous ladies doing here?” Jaden asked.

“We decided to come with you.” Visas told him.

“We’re with you to the end.” Brianna continued.

“Yeah, besides it was getting boring shooting Atton’s left leg for a while.” Mira said.

Jaden smiled.

“Okay then let’s go.” Jaden said finally.

He walked off, with the three ladies following behind him.

As the man was climbing down the mountain, he noticed the Jedi’s three companions. This maybe harder than I thought, He thought, before returning to descending down the mountain.

After two minutes of walking through the Valley of the Dark Lords, Jaden stopped as he finally reached the top of the hill. The windy path that he and the others had arrived to had led them to the old Sith Academy.

“I remember this place.” Brianna told everyone.

“I can still feel the hunger of the dark side.” Visas said.

“Yeah it sort of gives me the chills.” Mira said, shivering slightly.

Jaden laughed slightly. That was the exact same thing Atton had said when he was with him and Brianna on their last visit.

“Come on, let’s go inside.” Jaden told them.

However, before he could pick the lock, a man had landed in front of him. He wore a black robe that resembled one a Sith Lord would wear. Jaden immediately got his Lightsaber out and ignited the green blade. Brianna ignited her double-bladed silver Lightsaber and Visas got out her red Lightsaber. Usually Mira would use her two purple Lightsabers, but instead she got out her two-blaster pistols.

“Who are you?” Jaden asked.

The man didn’t reply.

“I don’t want to have to kill you, but I will if I have to.” Jaden continued.

The man removed his hood to reveal long, untidy black hair and sharp blue eyes. He had a crooked nose and his mouth was so dry, it looked like he hadn’t drank anything for a long time.

“I have no name Jedi.” He told Jaden.

“Surely you must have a name,” Brianna said, “Do you have a title or…”

“No!” The man shouted, before calming down to say, “As I told you, my name isn’t important. For now.”

Jaden put away his Lightsaber and everyone else put away their weapons.

“Can you at least tell me why you’re here?” Jaden asked.

“You need help,” The man told Jaden, “I know about you and your adventures.”

“You look familiar.” Jaden said.

“My name isn’t important.” The man told Jaden once again, “Now please, stay here. You’ve arrived late at night here. Please remain here and I shall protect you all.”

Jaden decided to do what he said. He seemed to know best. However there was something about him that Jaden knew. As soon as everyone was comfortable, the man sat on the floor, in the pose of meditation. His meditation created a large force field around them.

“Relax.” He told them.

Jaden watched him murmur some strange things and it made him feel drowsy.

Stay tuned for Chapter IV Truths of a Stranger

Jason Skywalker
07-21-2006, 05:29 PM
Another good one, and, i wonder who that guy is.

Diego Varen
07-21-2006, 05:41 PM
You'll find out soon enough.

07-22-2006, 09:24 AM
Good chapter, Pottsie. I liked the point of view changes.

07-23-2006, 01:46 PM
Aye 'tis a mighty fine fic indeedlio. ;)

You have a few issues with your punctuation and capitalisation, but they're not too much. PM if you want examples or editing.

<_<I'll bet $5 CDN on the man being Revan.>_>

Jason Skywalker
07-23-2006, 02:13 PM
Yeah...i mean, long untidy black hair? That sound like Mullet Dude!

Diego Varen
07-23-2006, 02:26 PM
Wow, I didn't think anyone would think he was Revan. Although that would be an interesting concept, it isn't Revan, so I would put that $5 CDN back. As I mentioned in a previous post, he is like the Doctor off Doctor Who, who has the same powers, so he can't be Revan. Don't worry, we'll find out who this man is soon enough. Thanks for the advice Hall.

Diego Varen
07-23-2006, 02:56 PM
My longest Chapter yet. Five pages on Word and it was 1363 words long.

Chapter IV
Truths of a Stranger

As soon as the morning arrived, Jaden, the man and the others returned to the Ebon Hawk. Everyone had been weary of him, though he had found the parts for the Ebon Hawk and Atton even told Jaden that he should go into the cargo hold, until Brianna reminded him that that was her quarters in the ship. In the end, Jaden gave him permission use Kreia’s old dormitory. Jaden hadn’t learnt anything about the man, for he refused to tell him or anyone else anything. Maybe in time, he would tell Jaden something.

Later that day, Jaden was at the cockpit with Atton.

“So where do we go now?” He asked.

“Dxun.” Jaden told him.

“What about Telos?” Atton asked.

“I’ll apologise to Admiral Onasi over the com,” Jaden told them, “I need to see Mandalore.”

“Fine by me.” Atton said.

Atton set the coordinates for Dxun and the Ebon Hawk left Korriban. As the Ebon Hawk entered space, Visas entered the cockpit.

“May I speak with you for a moment Jaden?” She murmured.

“Sure.” He told her.

“I need to speak with you privately, away from the ears of the crew.” She told Jaden.

“Okay then,” Jaden told her, “Atton ask Bao-Dur to speak with Admiral Onasi please.”

“No problem.” Atton told him.

Jaden nodded thanks to Atton and went off with Visas.

Admiral Carth Onasi paced around his office on the Telos Citadel Station, waiting for the Exile to return. Where was he? Carth thought, He wasn’t usually this late. Bastila Shan, a Jedi Knight who had helped him and Revan, during the Jedi Civil War, interrupted his thoughts.

“Are you alright Carth?” She asked.

“Fine,” Carth told her, “I’m just wondering where the Exile is.”

“Are you worried?” Bastila asked.

“Something must have happened,” Carth told her, “Otherwise he would have been here by now.”

The comlink was ringing. Carth went over to it. A picture of Bao-Dur was there.

“Admiral Onasi,” He started, “It is good to see you again.”

“Bao-Dur?” Carth asked, “I haven’t seen you, since the beginning of the Restoration Project. Where have you been?”

“I’ve been with the Exile,” Bao-Dur told Carth, “He has trained me in the ways of the Force and I’m the engineer on the Ebon Hawk, but that isn’t what I needed to talk to you about.”

“What is it then?” Carth asked.

“The Exile might not be on Telos for a while,” Bao-Dur told Carth, “He has to meet with an old friend.”

“When will he be back?” Carth asked.

“I have no idea,” Bao-Dur told Carth, “He’ll be back as soon as he can.”

Carth sighed. However he wondered who the Exile’s old friend was. Maybe it was someone from the Mandalorian Wars.

“Bao-Dur please stay on the comlink,” Carth told Bao-Dur finally, “I have a proposition for you.”

Visas led Jaden through the Ebon Hawk and they eventually arrived in the starboard dormitory. Visas immediately sat on the floor.

“Please sit with me.” She told Jaden.

Jaden decided to do what she said.

“I need to show you something,” She continued, “Something about last night, with our mysterious friend. Now please close your eyes and let me show you…”

Soon Jaden felt like the time he was training with Kreia, however this was different. This showed the past twelve hours.

Jaden saw himself back on Korriban, however he was asleep, along with Brianna and Mira. Visas was the only one awake and the man was meditating, protecting them all with his large force field. The man stopped mediating, causing the force field to stop and he walked over to Visas.

“Not asleep yet, Miraluka?” He asked coldly.

Visas stood up.

“Why should it matter if I’m not asleep?” She asked.

The man licked his lips and smiled.

“Nothing wrong, I was just wondering how a Miraluka like yourself survived the attack on Katarr.” The man told her.

“I was taken in by my master,” Visas told her, “But that isn’t the point. You’re the last of your species why are you interrogating me?”

“I loathe Miralukas,” He told her, “Most my of my species adored your species, however I hated them ever since the Mandalorian Wars.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Visas asked.

“You are one of them,” The man told her, “When I was a Jedi Knight, some of your species had joined Revan and Malak and became Sith like them. My master was killed because of your species.”

“Is this why you hate Miralukas?” Visas asked.

The man licked his lips again and smiled, however now he was angrier.

“Partly yes, but because of your species, I would have been killed by them, but the only way to survive was to join Revan and Malak,” The man told her, “I became a tool of evil, being my species caused me to regenerate into another person and I survived through the Jedi Civil War and the Sith Civil War here on Korriban.”

“Please calm down,” Visas told him, “Nobody can change the past and you can’t blame my species or anyone else for that.”

“I suppose you’re right.” The man said.

“What is your name?” Visas asked.

“I’m Zor Krel of the Immortalis race.” He told Visas.

Both Visas and Zor remained quiet for several seconds and suddenly Zor used the Force to choke Visas. Visas was choking so hard, she couldn’t even breathe. Zor gritted his teeth to drown out Visas’ cries. Soon Zor let Visas go and Visas didn’t say another word. Visas decided to go back to sleep. As soon as Visas went to sleep, Zor had one last thing to say.

“Sleep well Miraluka,” He told her, “If you ever tell anyone about our confrontation, I shall kill you by the stroke of my Lightsaber.”

The vision stopped and Jaden saw himself return to the present. He could sense Zor behind him. Jaden immediately turned around and his predictions were right.

“I’m sorry did I disturb something?” He asked.

Jaden suddenly felt angry and got out his Lightsaber. He raised it to Zor’s chin. Zor immediately withdrew his Lightsaber. It was a blood red colour, similar to Nihilus and Sion’s Lightsabers. Zor’s Lightsaber clashed with Jaden’s. Jaden immediately pushed him back.

“If you ever threaten my friend again, I shall make sure I drop you off on the next asteroid we pass, do I make myself clear?” Jaden threatened him.

“Of course,” Zor told Jaden, “It’s your call.”

Jaden withdrew his Lightsaber as soon as Zor left and Visas put her hand on Jaden’s shoulder. Jaden turned to see her.

“Thank you for protecting me Exile.” She told him.

“Please just call me Jaden Lennon,” Jaden told her, “No wait, just Jaden.”

Jaden and Visas felt weird and they felt themselves lean in for a kiss… Until Brianna interrupted them.

“We’ve arrived at Dxun.” She told them.

Jaden and Visas immediately pretended as if nothing happened and pulled themselves away from each other.

“Thank you Brianna.” Jaden told her.

Brianna watched Visas leave and she went to talk to Jaden.

“What are you doing?” She asked, “I thought you loved me.”

Jaden sighed.

“I do, but can’t I have as many lovers as I want?” He asked.

“No, you told me that you loved me and only me.” She told Jaden.

“Well I have feelings for Visas as well,” He told her, “But I love you most.”

“You sound like Atton!” Brianna shouted, before she left.

Jaden sighed again and went to see everyone in the main hold.

“Mandalore, the Exile is here.” Kelborn told Mandalore.

“Thank you Kelborn,” Canderous the Mandalore told him, “Send a scout to bring them here.”

Jaden left the Ebon Hawk along with Atton and Zor. The Mandalorian scout greeted them.

“It is a pleasure to see you again,” He told Jaden, “I shall take you to the base. Please follow me.”

The Mandalorian scout left with Jaden, Atton and Zor following them.

Stay tuned for Chapter V Hanharr's Survival

Diego Varen
07-23-2006, 03:19 PM
Immortalis means Immortal in Latin.

07-23-2006, 05:26 PM
I just started a profile here! I read what chapters you have so far and it was great! Keep updating!

Jason Skywalker
07-23-2006, 05:29 PM
Wow, i would have never guessed. :xp: Jk. Good chapter, liked the confrontation and discussion parts the most.

Diego Varen
07-23-2006, 06:02 PM
Thanks for the comments and welcome to LF LordRevan123, I hope you have a good time here. I see you've also posted in Revanscool's Fic (They are good). Feel free to check out my other Fic, The Sith Lord.

Anyway, the next Chapter shall take sometime, but I'll try to get it out as soon as possible.

07-23-2006, 09:07 PM
For u, I will wait until I am 42! :Prplgh: (I'm serious.)

07-24-2006, 02:06 AM
great chapter, Pottsie, its good to see another baddie in there :D
although, the dream part was a bit rushed, IMO. you wrote that Visas decided to go to sleep after the guy had stopped choking her. i dont know about anyone else, but if someone choked me just like that, i would have gladly ripped his entrails out right then :D or at least, i wouldnt go back to sleep while he was present. its your call, though

Diego Varen
07-24-2006, 04:33 AM
Thanks for the comments RC. The dream part maybe rushed, but that was because Visas isn't usually the type of person to blab it all out. Until the Exile is awake.

07-24-2006, 07:18 AM
Interesting point Posttsie. Didn't think about it that way.

07-24-2006, 09:08 AM
Good chapter. This opens up the plot a bit more.

Diego Varen
07-24-2006, 04:05 PM
Sorry if nobody likes this really short Chapter, but it will create a new Story for Mira later. I wasn't going to do this, but I had bad Writer's Block, trying to bring Mandalore back. I'll do that next. Anyway, here it is.

Chapter V
Hanharr’s Survival

Anger flowed through the Wookiee, Hanharr’s mind. Anger at the Exile. Anger at the Jedi. And anger at the one who accompanied the Exile. Mira. Why did she spare him? Why? She could have easily killed him on Malachor V, when the moment was right. Because of her decision, Hanharr had a new goal. To kill Mira once and for all. His question was how to kill one such as her. He thought he was free, from the old woman, but now he had a new leader. His new leader was an ex Jedi Knight from the Mandalorian Wars. His name was Zor Krel. Hanharr remembered his confrontation with him, prior to the destruction of Malachor V.

Hanharr watched as Mira walked off into the vast darkness of Malachor V, leaving him alone. As soon as Mira vanished from his sight, Hanharr could hear the sound of hands clapping from behind him. Hanharr immediately turned around to see a Human. He walked towards Hanharr.

“Excellent Wookiee, excellent,” He said, “Well played.”

Hanharr growled angrily at the man.

“What do I want?” The man asked, “I’m Zor Krel, an Immortalis, not a Human, though I do look like one. I think I’ve found my new employee.”

Hanharr growled and asked the man what he was talking about.

“You hate that woman don’t you?” Zor asked, “I can feel your anger rising within you and I can feel your anger begging to kill. I have a proposition for you my friend.”

Now Hanharr was on the way to a forbidden mining facility, near the Unknown Regions. There he would wait for Mira and the Exile to arrive at the mining facility.

As Hanharr’s “lent” ship approached the mining facility, he noticed that the mining facility was known as Station 5. According to Zor, Station 5 was a mining facility for the lava Planets, Mustafar and Sarapin. How could that be though? Both Planets were near the Republic, not near the Unknown Regions. Hanharr forgot the question and his ship stopped. Station 5 wasn’t a pretty sight. It looked like an asteroid, that had just been under attack. There were bodies everywhere, broken mining Droids and even faulty power. How Hanharr would have loved to have wrecked the place. He knew that he would soon be killing though. Hanharr went to the detention centre and prepared himself for the task at hand.

Stay tuned for Chapter VI Mandalore’s Return

07-24-2006, 05:04 PM
Aye it's good, and I'll give a better comment when I'm not so nervous (I have a job interview today:whacked: ).

Edit: As JM12 pointed out, Jaden is behaving a little oddly. And does everyone use the shall in the Star Wars universe? Keep up the good-tacular work. :)

P.S. I didn't get the job.

07-24-2006, 05:34 PM
Uh oh. Just remain calm Hall. They are not that bad, at least not as bad as presenting in front of several hundred people.

Pottsie: This is and interesting story so far and a nice turn of events after the destruction of Malachor. That bit about the no volunteers was interesting. Those comments he said to Brianna makes Jaden seem a bit perverted. What's up with that?

Diego Varen
07-24-2006, 05:51 PM
Good luck with your Job Interview Hall. Anyway, Jaden loves Brianna, so that maybe why Jaden loves her so much. He can be a bad man when he wants can't he? Anyway thanks for the comments all and I'll try to get the next Chapter out as soon as possible.

07-25-2006, 09:43 AM
Nice chapter! But I have a question. How could Hanharr stand up to Mira and Jaden since they are both Jedis? Oh and Jaden can be bad, because girls like bad boys!!!!!! Lol! Jk!

Diego Varen
07-25-2006, 01:22 PM
Nice chapter! But I have a question. How could Hanharr stand up to Mira and Jaden since they are both Jedis? Oh and Jaden can be bad, because girls like bad boys!!!!!! Lol! Jk!

Hanharr will only see Mira. Jaden has never met Hanharr and he never will. Also for those who haven't played TSL, Hanharr is one tough Wookiee and he is the toughest Non-Jedi Party Member in the game.

Jason Skywalker
07-25-2006, 02:26 PM
Good one, altough short. A new side story, how fun.

Jae Onasi
07-25-2006, 10:01 PM
Nice story going. Every fic you write seems to improve in terms of descriptions, dialogue, and grammar.

07-26-2006, 05:21 AM
Haven't read this one in a while, but I see things are progressing quite well. Keep up the good work.

07-26-2006, 09:13 AM
This chapter was very good. It is aiding the development of the story.

07-26-2006, 09:28 AM
Thanks for answering my question. But I bet Mira could sill beat the beans out of him! Lol! Don't stop updating!

Diego Varen
07-26-2006, 09:58 AM
Thanks for answering my question. But I bet Mira could sill beat the beans out of him! Lol! Don't stop updating!

I won't stop updating, don't worry. At the moment, I'm concentrating on the Entertainment Center Awards 2006. As the host, it is important to add new catergories for the Awards and I'd like to thank Jason Skywalker for his suggested two catergories.

07-26-2006, 01:29 PM
Go Jason :king1: :clap2: :D :roll1: (Have no idea who that is.)

Jabba da Butt
07-26-2006, 02:26 PM
I like :). Can't tell much about the story yet but it seems like an interesting story so far, I'll definately be reading this one.

Oh, and the story with Visas and Briana was kind of weird but I guess the Exile can be bad sometimes cant he?

07-26-2006, 03:11 PM
yeah, somewhat like the Star Wars version of archie :D. now all we need is Visas to be a blonde XD.
any news on the updates, Pottsie?

Diego Varen
07-26-2006, 04:27 PM
yeah, somewhat like the Star Wars version of archie :D. now all we need is Visas to be a blonde XD.
any news on the updates, Pottsie?

I'm hopefully near the end of the next Chapter. I'll get it posted as soon as I can. RC, I don't think we'll see Visas blonde. I don't even know if she has any hair. Also I thought you didn't have TSL.

Diego Varen
07-26-2006, 05:04 PM
Chapter V
Mandalore’s Return

Clan Ordo leader, Mandalore waited for Jaden and his friends to approach him. Mandalore felt pleased with his accomplishments over the past fortnight. Clan Ordo had increased its number of Recruits and the base was being rebuilt into a much stronger fortress for the Mandalorians. Mandalore felt that Clan Ordo was stronger than it was during the Mandalorian Wars.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again Mandalore.” Jaden told him, bowing towards him.

“Likewise,” Mandalore told him, bowing back to him, “Kelborn told me that the Ebon Hawk was landing, so I knew who would be coming.”

“It wouldn’t be anybody else eh?” Atton asked.

Mandalore ignored Atton and returned to speak to Jaden.

“Come with me,” He told Jaden, “I need to talk to you in the privacy of my chambers. Your friends can wait out here.”

Mandalore led Jaden through the base and soon they ended up in Mandalore’s private chambers. It was a big room. It was as big as the Ebon Hawk’s main hold.

Outside, Atton and Zor walked around the base, looking at all the Mandalorians practising their fighting techniques.

“Wow,” Atton said, “It reminds me of my Echani days.”

“Right.” Zor muttered.

Zor felt anger towards the Mandalorians. Because of them, his master died and because of them that he had become a twisted tool of evil. Soon Atton had led them both to the Mandalorian Battle Circle coach.

“You must be friends of the Exile,” He said, “Feel free to watch or participate in the Battle Circle.”

“We’ll watch thanks.” Atton told him.

Atton and Zor watched the many battles taking place in the Battle Circle.

“So why are you here?” Mandalore asked.

“I… No the Republic needs your help.” Jaden told him.

“My help?” Mandalore asked, “Why?”

“Well actually, the Republic needs all the Mandalorian support we can get,” Jaden told him, “The True Sith have returned and they will soon have the fate of the Galaxy in their hands.”

“So what does that have to do with me and Clan Ordo?” Mandalore asked.

“Right now, the Republic hardly has an army to help them,” Jaden told him, “I thought that the almighty Clan Ordo might be able to assist.”

“Well I’d have to talk to the Republic Admiral and sort things out, but I’ll be glad to assist.” Mandalore told Jaden.

“Thank you Mandalore,” Jaden told him, “I’ll call Bao-Dur and tell him to get the ship started.”

Zor felt his hand grab his Lightsaber. He felt like igniting it and killing the Mandalorians. Now he had to wait for the right moment. He noticed Atton talking to the Mandalorian Battle Circle coach and Zor knew what his first target was. Kill the Mandalorian Battle Circle coach. Zor immediately felt himself leap up, high into the air, preparing to crash down onto the Mandalorian Battle Circle coach. However before he could strike at him, Atton blocked Zor with his yellow Lightsaber.

“What are you doing?” Atton asked angrily.

“Don’t you see?” Zor asked angrily, “The Mandalorians are scum! We must kill them all and place their heads on sticks to show to the Galaxy!”

“You’ve got a sick mind!” Atton shouted at Zor and immediately pushed him backwards with his Lightsaber and then he let his Lightsaber crash onto Zor’s left leg.

It left a burn in Zor’s left leg. Zor yelled out in pain. Atton laughed slightly.

“Surely it can’t hurt that bad?” Atton asked.

“What’s going on out here?” Mandalore asked angrily.

“Mandalore, the Exile’s friend tried to kill me, but this guy saved me.” The Mandalorian Battle Circle coach told Mandalore.

“Who Atton?” Jaden asked.

“Don’t sound so surprised.” Atton told Jaden.

Jaden started to feel angry. He couldn’t afford the Mandalorians to despise him now. Not while the Galaxy was under threat.

“Atton take Zor back to the Ebon Hawk,” Jaden told him, “Mandalore and I shall catch you up.”

Atton decided to do what Jaden said. He knew when Jaden was angry. Atton put away his Lightsaber and grabbed Zor by his arm tightly. Atton left with Zor and Jaden returned to speak with Mandalore.

“We better be off.” Jaden told Mandalore.

“I agree,” Mandalore said, “Everything shall be fine here and Kelborn has already had his share of leading experience. Let’s go.”

Jaden and Mandalore left the Mandalorian base, hoping to catch up with Atton and Zor.

On the Ebon Hawk, Visas was meditating alone in her dormitory. Little did she know that Brianna was standing in the doorway. Visas immediately stood up, because she could sense Brianna’s presence behind her. To be honest, it made her feel a little uncomfortable.

“Do you want something?” Visas asked.

“You know why I’m here,” Brianna told her, “It’s about Jaden.”

“The Exile?” Visas asked, “What about him?”

“He isn’t an exile anymore,” Brianna told her, “I found out that you love him also.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Visas told her.

“You and him were about to kiss each other.” Brianna told her.

Visas thought for a moment. Then she remembered the day that Jaden had protected her from Zor.

“Listen to me Brianna, I have no feelings for him, I never have,” Visas told her, “We’re just friends, nothing more. I’ve never loved him.”

Brianna started to get angry. This was the first time anyone had ever loved her in her life and now she felt like she was in a competition with Visas over Jaden. She didn’t even know if Jaden loved her.

“Okay Visas, I believe you for now,” Brianna told her, “I don’t want to lose him, because of my love for him and I don’t want anything to threaten our relationship. If I catch you two together again, it may break my heart.”

Brianna left the room and Visas decided to return to her meditating. Perhaps it was best if she didn’t speak to either Jaden or Brianna.

Atton and Zor returned to the Ebon Hawk. Zor was really angry with Atton. He didn’t know why though. Maybe it was from that burn or maybe it was when he tried to kill the Mandalorian Battle Circle coach. Atton took Zor to the cockpit of the Ebon Hawk.

“Why did you bring me here for?” Zor asked angrily, but he felt his voice grow softer.

“To talk to you,” Atton told him, “What were you doing and what’s the matter with your voice.”

Zor looked at him.

“What are you talking about?” Zor asked.

Atton sighed.

“Don’t give me that,” Atton told him, “I worked for the Sith Lord Revan once and I became a Sith Assassin under his command, I think I know how to interrogate people.”

“I…” Zor shouted, as he started to stagger backwards, “I also worked… for Revan. I… never met any… Atton Rand there though.”

“I was known under a different identity then,” Atton told him, his voice growing angrier “And I won’t give you the pleasure of knowing it.”

Suddenly Zor slipped backwards onto the floor and a yellow beam of light shot out of his mouth. It lit up the whole of the cockpit of the Ebon Hawk. Atton was wondering what he was seeing in front of him.

“Are you okay Zor?” Atton asked.

He didn’t reply. Bao-Dur ran to the cockpit, looking at what was happening.

“I haven’t seen anything like this, since the Mandalorian Wars.” Bao-Dur told Atton.

“What’s happening?” Atton asked.

“He is being reborn,” Bao-Dur told Atton, “He will have a new voice, a new face and a slightly different personality. It is cheating death, as I call it. That is why his species is called the Immortalis.”

The beam of light suddenly stopped and Zor returned. However, his face was different. His hair was also different. Instead of the old long, untidy black hair, he now had short dark brown hair. He tried to speak, but his voice had become much more gruff, showing a sign of old age.

“My rebirth,” He told Atton and Bao-Dur, “I think I’m okay.”

Atton didn’t say anything. He just backed out of the cockpit, leaving Bao-Dur alone. Zor suddenly felt ill and started coughing. Bao-Dur picked him up.

“I’ll take you to the medical bay,” Bao-Dur told him, “I’ll treat you as soon as I can.”

Jaden and Mandalore finally arrived. They entered the Ebon Hawk and Jaden ran to the cockpit. He set the course for Telos. Mandalore entered the cockpit.

“The old ship doesn’t change much.” Mandalore commented.

“Well, I’ve been too busy for spring cleaning,” Jaden told him, “Goodbye Dxun and hello Telos. I hope we don’t leave anyone behind.”

The Ebon Hawk took off from Dxun and sped off to the next destination. Telos.

Stay tuned for Chapter VII Alone Again

07-26-2006, 05:15 PM
Hello all, this is a new Fic I plan to write soon. It will be set after TSL and will star the Exile, Jaden Lennon (Named after my idol John Lennon from The Beatles). He is a Jedi Consular and will also be a Jedi Master (When I get to that stage of the game). I've currently started a new game with him and plan to start writing this Fic as soon as possible. One question though. Should he had a blue Lightsaber or a green Lightsaber?

blue. definietly.

Diego Varen
07-26-2006, 05:26 PM
blue. definietly.

Bit late to post about that now. Talking of Lightsabers, here is what the Ebon Hawk Crew have in terms of Lightsabers.

Jaden Lennon (The Exile): Green Lightsaber
Atton Rand: Yellow Lightsaber
Bao-Dur: Double-Bladed Blue Lightsaber
Brianna the Handmaiden: Double-Bladed Silver Lightsaber
Visas Marr: Red Lightsaber
Mira: Two Purple Lightsabers
Zor Krel: Red Lightsaber

Jason Skywalker
07-26-2006, 05:42 PM
Good one. Nice to know the saber colors. Also, thanks LordRevan. :D

07-26-2006, 08:24 PM
Nice chapter. I especially like how you show Zor get out of control. I was surprised that Bao-dur popped out of nowhere to explain about the Imortalis. That rebirth thing, did you base that off the legend of the phoenix?

Diego Varen
07-27-2006, 04:40 AM
Nice chapter. I especially like how you show Zor get out of control. I was surprised that Bao-dur popped out of nowhere to explain about the Imortalis. That rebirth thing, did you base that off the legend of the phoenix?

Thanks and I'll explain somethings.

1. Bao-Dur was working around the Ebon Hawk and let's just say he was in the main hold, he could hear Atton worrying over Zor.

2. The rebirth thing was slightly based on the legend of the phoenix and the other half was based on the regeneration on Doctor Who.

I hope I've explained everything to you.

07-27-2006, 09:26 AM
I agree with JediMaster12. It got pretty exciting when Zor did his rebirth thing! I honestly was expecting him to blow up! lol!

Diego Varen
07-27-2006, 09:39 AM
Thanks for the comments. I may end this Fic soon, as it is near the end now, but it is only something to be set in between TSL and KOTOR III (Whenever that comes out or if it ever does).

I've got two ideas for new Fics, so don't worry. Ideas are listed below:

1. A descendant of Revan (Who is Female, because I want to try something new) has a mission, which if she succeeds she will become a Jedi Knight and little does she know the threat that she has to find. It is set eight years before TPM.

2. This second idea is a lot like RC's HK Fic, but instead it stars T3. It could become a Trilogy, of T3's new adventures. This first one would be set ten years after ROTS.

Suggest which idea I should pick and why. After a small tally I shall write it.

07-27-2006, 10:59 AM
I am so sad that it is almost done. :ball: :cry8:

Jason Skywalker
07-27-2006, 11:10 AM
Sad to know that fic is almost over. I choose the first but i have and idea. A fic about yourself, like Jan is writing and i will. Your choice though.

07-27-2006, 11:10 AM
if youre doing a T3 fic, i suggest you research all you can about what happens to him so that you can set your story in the correct storyline.

Diego Varen
07-27-2006, 11:43 AM
if youre doing a T3 fic, i suggest you research all you can about what happens to him so that you can set your story in the correct storyline.

I just looked on Wikipedia on T3 and it said that T3's fate was unknown, other than taking the Exile into the Unknown Regions to find Revan. I'll come up with a good excuse though. I think I'll do the T3 story. The working title at the moment is Tales of T3.

07-27-2006, 11:47 AM
i'm suddenly getting the odd feeling that i've heard that particular name somewhere. did you think it up?

Diego Varen
07-27-2006, 11:58 AM
i'm suddenly getting the odd feeling that i've heard that particular name somewhere. did you think it up?

No, I saw it as a suggested name for KOTOR III in an Unknown Regions Thread.

Diego Varen
07-27-2006, 01:49 PM
Chapter VII
Alone Again

Carth noticed the Ebon Hawk landing in Dock Module 2. Finally the Ebon Hawk and her crew were finally here.

“Lieutenant Grenn, please escort the Exile and his friends to my office.” Carth told Lieutenant Grenn.

“Right away Admiral.” Grenn told Carth.

Grenn left Carth’s Office and ran to Dock Module 2 to greet the Exile and his friends.

Jaden got out of the Ebon Hawk. Atton, Bao-Dur, Brianna and everyone else, except Mira had decided to come. Mira had wanted to go to Nar Shaddaa. She said there was one left Bounty to do, before she could forget about her past. Even Zor decided to come, even though he was still in pain from his rebirth. Grenn arrived in Dock Module 2 to greet them.

“It’s a pleasure to see you all again,” He told them, “Admiral Onasi is expecting you all in his office.”

Bastila went to speak to Carth.

“Is he here?” Bastila asked.

“Yes,” Carth told her, “The Exile has finally arrived. He has brought his whole crew with him too.”

Bastila sighed.

“What’s the matter?” Carth asked.

“I remember when Revan did similar things,” Bastila told him, “I miss him a lot.”

Carth put his hand on Bastila’s shoulder.

“We all do.” He told her.

“Carth, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call the Exile the Exile anymore,” Bastila told him, “He is no longer an exile. He is Jaden Lennon, one of the greatest Jedi Knights in the history of the Jedi.”

“That is his name?” Carth asked, “Was he friends with Revan?”

“At one time yes,” Bastila told him, “Before he was exiled. I doubt he would care about him anymore.”

“I’m sure he still does Bastila,” Carth told her, “Trust me, I’ve seen a lot worse.”

“I suppose,” Bastila said, “I must speak with Jaden after your discussion.”

“Okay then.” Carth said.

The door opened and Jaden and the others were here.

“Grenn you know the drill.” Carth told him.

“Right away Admiral.” He said, leaving the office.

“I best leave too.” Bastila told Carth.

As soon as Bastila left, Carth spoke.

“It is great to see you all again. Especially you Jaden.”

“How did you know my name Admiral?” Jaden asked.

“A friend told me,” Carth told him, “At this point, the Republic is well on it’s way to becoming great again.”

“I don’t think so Admiral,” Jaden told him, “I had the same vision as Revan had five years ago. About the True Sith.”

“Was it as bad as Revan’s dream?” Carth asked.

“Worse,” Jaden told him, “The True Sith are becoming stronger, feeding on the Force itself, plaguing those who feel the Force.”

“What does that mean?” Carth asked.

“I must find Revan and help him confront them.” Jaden told Carth.

“Okay,” Carth said, “However, your companions are staying here I believe.”

Jaden seemed confused. Were they? Was this something Carth had organised? Was it something everyone else wanted to do? Or was it the fact that they had all become bored of him after two months of travelling together?

“Are all my companions staying?” Jaden asked.

“I don’t know,” Carth told Jaden, “Bao-Dur has agreed to stay on Telos to help with the Restoration Project…”

“I need to speak with Admiral Onasi.” Mandalore interrupted.

“I need to go back to Nar Shaddaa,” Atton told them, “There are some old friends there who might consider helping the Republic.

“Atris has called to me, through the Force,” Brianna told them, “She wants something for me to do.”

“So you’re all abandoning me?” Jaden asked, feeling slightly upset at the fact they were leaving him, “What about you Visas? HK? T3? Zor?”

T3 beeped silently. Jaden knew that T3 was saying no.

“Are you kidding?” Zor asked, “I’m injured and need rest.”

Jaden sighed. Everyone was leaving him.

“Statement. I may consider staying with you Master.” HK told Jaden.

“Really?” Jaden asked.

“HK, I could gladly use some assistance here on Telos.” Bao-Dur told him, a little too overconfidently.

“Query. What for Meatbag?” HK asked.

“Well, let’s just say that many people want to have me killed and I will need someone to…” Bao-Dur started.

“Statement. Deal Meatbag!” HK shouted.

“What about you Visas?” Jaden asked, hoping that somebody was going to stay with him.

“I felt a disturbance in the Force,” She told Jaden, “On Katarr, I must go there.”

Jaden sighed. Kreia’s predictions of the future were coming true. Did that mean Mira would die too? Jaden had to find out. He knew that she had gone to an old mining facility, near the Unknown Regions. He had to find her and stop her. Maybe Kreia was also right about Jaden going into the Unknown Regions to find Revan. It might be the last time, he ever saw his friends again.

“Okay then,” Jaden told them, “This maybe the last time I’ll see you all. Brianna, I just want to express my feelings towards you and I want to do it in front of all my friends.”

Brianna walked towards Jaden. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her in for a long kiss. There was big reaction from everyone. The main reaction was from the Droids though. Jaden could hear T3 beeping wildly in excitement.

“Statement. Master, please get a room!” HK shouted, “I think I’ll have to erase these last thirty seconds now!”

Eventually Jaden pulled away from Brianna and whispered something to her.

“I’ll miss you Brianna. There is one last thing I want you to do for me. Rebuild the Jedi Order on Coruscant. The dark side of the Force is rising and the Republic will need all the assistance that they can get.”

Before Jaden could leave, Brianna whispered something to him.

“Anything for you Jaden.”

Jaden smiled and walked off. Little did he know that Bastila was following him.

Stay tuned for Chapter VIII The Final Battle

07-27-2006, 01:54 PM
Nice chapter! Are you going to kill Mira of?

Jason Skywalker
07-27-2006, 01:58 PM
Really good one, pity that the fic is almost ending.

Diego Varen
07-27-2006, 02:02 PM
Really good one, pity that the fic is almost ending.

Don't worry, I shall make the end better than The Sith Lord. I have it all planned out and I'm writing it out now. I don't want to spoil anything, but three people will die in this final Chapter. I won't reveal who and I don't want anyone guessing as it may wreck the Fic for others. It maybe a bit too obvious though.

Jason Skywalker
07-27-2006, 02:06 PM
Ok Pottsie. Can we guess in spoiler tags?

Diego Varen
07-27-2006, 02:13 PM
Ok Pottsie. Can we guess in spoiler tags?

I would let you, but I want to keep this secret until the end. Don't worry, I won't abandon this Fic, so near the end.

07-27-2006, 03:03 PM
Well, at least the ending will be better than The Sith Lords. I am so mad because KOTOR II will probably be on xbox 360! :(

Diego Varen
07-27-2006, 03:18 PM
Well, at least the ending will be better than The Sith Lords. I am so mad because KOTOR II will probably be on xbox 360! :(

KOTOR III, LordRevan123. I hope it is on PC, because I don't have an Xbox, but I hope it would be on PS2, because then I wouldn't have to worry about requirements to have on the PC. The last Chapter shall be posted as soon as possible.

07-27-2006, 03:22 PM
Sweet chapter. I look forward to the last battle. Perhaps before you post I can beta read it for you and help in terms of description. Up to you however.

Diego Varen
07-27-2006, 03:56 PM
Sweet chapter. I look forward to the last battle. Perhaps before you post I can beta read it for you and help in terms of description. Up to you however.

Sure. You've been one of my greatest advisors over Fanfics. The others have been Jae Onasi and RC.

Diego Varen
07-27-2006, 04:27 PM
Actually JM12, I've declined your offer. Feel free to say whatever here though. All the electronics, shut itself down for no reason and then came back on again. Anyway here is the next Chapter.

Chapter VII
The Final Battle

Jaden sat at the cockpit of the Ebon Hawk. So many thoughts plagued his mind. Thoughts about his friends, thoughts about his past and thoughts about his future. All of these three things would affect his future. He knew this was true.

“Jaden.” A voice called.

Jaden stopped to listen to the voice.

“Who’s there?” He asked.

“Bastila Shan,” She told Jaden, entering the cockpit, “Do you remember me?”

Jaden thought for a moment and he suddenly remembered her from when he was training as a Jedi, almost ten years ago. He had practised duelling with her and he had even helped her on missions.

“Yeah I remember you,” Jaden asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I needed to speak to you.” She told him.

“Why didn’t you say back on Telos?” Jaden asked.

“I would, but you were busy at the time,” Bastila told him, “Listen, I wish to join you and Revan.”

“Bastila you can’t,” Jaden told her, “The Jedi Order needs to be rebuilt and I seriously doubt my friends efforts to do it on their own.”

Bastila put her hand on Jaden’s shoulder, comforting him.

“They’ll be fine,” Bastila told Jaden, “Now where are we going?”

Jaden returned to the controls of the Ebon Hawk and looked at their current location. They had just passed Dantooine.

“We’re on our way to an old mining facility, just on the edge of the Unknown Regions.” Jaden told her.

Suddenly a blaster shot hit the Ebon Hawk, causing it to rock slightly. It reminded Jaden of the last time he and his friends had been shot down.

“What was that?” Bastila asked.

Jaden looked out of the window. A Republic fighter was attacking them. But how? Why would someone from the Republic attack Jaden? Jaden knew this wasn’t right. He sped off, hoping to avoid the fighter.

Mira walked into the detention centre of Station 5. This was were the Bounty was. She wondered who the Bounty was on. It must be someone who could hide well. Mira had her hands on her pistols, being aware of the environment around her. She had left her Lightsabers back on the Ebon Hawk, for she could never trust them. A good pistol was a lot better than a glowing stick to her. Mira could feel heavy breathing on the back of the neck. She immediately turned around to see her worst nightmare.

“Hanharr!” She shouted, “What are you doing here?”

Hanharr growled at her.

“I’m the Bounty?” She asked, “No, this isn’t right, you’re the…”

Hanharr growled at her again, telling her that this time he would win against her in the duel that he should’ve won on Nar Shaddaa.

“Bring it on!” Mira shouted, getting out her two pistols.

“Do you think we’re alright?” Bastila asked.

“I think so,” Jaden told her, hoping that nobody else would attack them, “Let’s get to that mining facility.”

Jaden drove the Ebon Hawk forward, hoping to save Mira’s life.

Hanharr got out his two vibroblades and ran towards Mira. Mira did the same, shooting Hanharr, but he seemed to endure all the incoming shots. Hanharr sliced through Mira, injuring her badly. Mira fell to the floor, shouting in pain. Hanharr silenced her by stabbing both his vibroblades through her heart. Hanharr roared out victory and pulled his vibroblades out of Mira.

“You are one sick twisted Wookiee.” A voice said.

Hanharr turned behind him to see a hooded figure. It looked like a Jedi. This must be the Exile, Hanharr thought angrily.

“I’m sorry were you expecting someone?” The man asked, taking off his hood, “By the anger I sense in you, I think you were expecting someone, a little younger.”

Hanharr started to feel angry and he growled at the man, asking him who he was.

“Who am I?” The man asked, “Surely you must have heard of me. I’m Revan.”

Suddenly he ignited his blue Lightsaber and threw it straight into Hanharr’s heart. Hanharr roared in agony and fell to the floor, landing next to Mira. Revan used the Force to pull his Lightsaber out of Hanharr’s body. He put his Lightsaber away.

“Well done Lord Revan,” A voice said, “You’re as ruthless as always and you’ve just removed a very big problem for me. Now I won’t have a moving carpet following me for the rest of my life.”

Revan turned around to see a man with short dark brown hair.

“You were using this Wookiee?” Revan asked angrily, “Wookiees are people too!”

“Ah, this Wookiee, known as Hanharr was born to kill,” The man told Revan, “And die too. My name is Zor Krel. I once served under you during the Mandalorian Wars.”

“I can’t say I remember you.” Revan told him.

“Don’t think too hard my lord,” Zor told him, “I shall make your death quick and painless.”

Revan reached for his Lightsaber and ignited it.

“Not if I have anything to say about it.” Revan told him.

Zor ignited his Lightsaber and ran towards Revan.

The Ebon Hawk landed in Station 5. Jaden prepared to leave the Ebon Hawk.

“Jaden, you can’t possibly go by yourself.” Bastila told him.

“Trust me, I’ve done worse,” Jaden told him, “Wait here.”

Jaden walked off, hoping to save Mira and find Revan.

Revan and Zor had been fighting for five mintutes. Revan immediately blocked Zor’s strike and Revan used his strength to force Zor to the floor. Revan smiled and tried to stab him, but Zor rolled over to the side, causing Revan to fall over. Zor saw this as his chance to injure Revan and he slashed at his body, then he slashed at his arm. Revan shouted out in pain. Zor smiled to himself and he circled around the wounded Revan. He circled around him at a slow speed, like a Kath Hound when it has found it’s prey. This was were Revan would die, a most painful death. The bloodshed tonight would be the living Force that Zor would feed on.

“Say goodbye to your life, Lord Revan, my old friend.” Zor told Revan, preparing to bring his Lightsaber onto Revan.

“Zor!” A familiar voice shouted.

Zor immediately turned around to see Jaden.

“What are you doing here?” Zor asked angrily.

“I’m here to stop you from killing Revan,” Jaden told him, ignited his Lightsaber, “I knew there was something strange about you when you joined me, but I didn’t bother thinking about it.”

“It’s a good thing you didn’t,” Zor told Jaden, “Otherwise you would’ve figured it out.”

“What out?” Jaden asked, “Wait a minute, you shot my ship down the first time on Korriban and you were shooting at my ship awhile ago.”

“Well done Jaden,” Zor told him, “You’ve finally figured it out. I used you. I’m a Sith. And I’m now the greatest Sith in the Galaxy.”

“Not if I can help it Zor!” Revan shouted, then he looked at Jaden, “Take this Lightsaber friend!”

He used the Force to guide his Lightsaber to Jaden and Jaden grabbed it. He used both Lightsabers to attack Zor. Zor was very good defensively. He could see things before they happened. That would work to his advantage. Jaden knew that he would slip up though. Both Jedi and Sith weren’t that great. Zor immediately used his Lightsaber to destroy Jaden’s Lightsaber. This left him with Revan’s. Jaden blocked all of Zor’s incoming hits, focusing on his next move. Jaden brought his Lightsaber down onto Zor’s, hoping to force it out of his hand, but Zor had a strong grip. Zor then kicked Jaden in the crotch and cut off his arm. Zor then used the Force to push Jaden backwards. He landed on Revan.

“Prepare to say goodbye Revan, Jaden,” Zor told them, “I shall feed on the Force gladly tonight.”

But before he could do anything, both Revan and Jaden could see a Lightsaber stuck through his body. Zor didn’t say anything. He just looked at his body to see the tip of a yellow Lightsaber sticking through him. He turned around. Revan and Jaden noticed that Bastila was there. She pulled her Lightsaber back to her. It was a Double-Bladed Lightsaber. Zor yelled out in pain and fell backwards, falling into the bottomless pit below.

Bastila ran towards Revan and Jaden and helped them up.

“Thanks for saving us Bastila.” Jaden told her.

“Bastila, it is so good to see you again,” Revan told Bastila, kissing her, “But what are you doing here?”

“I want to help you,” Bastila told him, “You and Jaden.”

“You can’t Bastila,” Revan told her, “You must help rebuild the Jedi Order.”

“Exactly what I told her.” Jaden commented.

“I’ve waited four years Revan,” Bastila told Revan, “I couldn’t wait anymore. I love you Revan.”

“I know you do,” Revan told her, tears falling from his eyes, “You must help Carth, help the Republic, rebuild the Jedi Order. Only you can do this. That is how you can help me, do you understand?”

Bastila nodded, tears were falling from her eyes, like Revan.

“I understand Revan,” She told Revan, “But let Jaden help you. He is strong with the Force and he once served you during the Mandalorian Wars. He has had the same visions as you had four years ago.”

“Okay Bastila,” Revan told her, “Listen, take the Ebon Hawk, I…”

“We.” Jaden interrupted.

“Okay, we won’t need the Ebon Hawk, I have a ship,” Revan continued, “When the time for war comes, you’ll know.”

Bastila nodded. She and Revan embraced in a long kiss.

“Goodbye Revan.” She whispered.

As soon as she disappeared, Revan spoke.

“Goodbye Bastila.”

Jaden comforted Revan.

“I’m not usually one for romantic goodbyes, so that was good,” Jaden commented, “Come on, we better leave this place.”

Before Jaden was about to leave with Revan, he picked up Mira’s body and carried it to Revan’s old, but comfortable ship.

“We’ll find a nice place to give her a funeral.” Jaden told Revan.

“I know,” Revan told him, “I miss Bastila.”

“I know you do,” Jaden told him, “I miss all my friends, just like you do. This isn’t the time to be missing people. We must fight for the Galaxy.”

Revan smiled for the first time in years.

“You’re right,” He said, “We better do what the Force sent us to do.”

Revan went over to his ship’s controls and Jaden sat at the co-pilot’s seat.

The Galaxy was preparing for war. Darkness was rising.

The End

07-27-2006, 04:48 PM
Nicely nicely well done. That intense moment before Zor trues to kill them and then Bastila comes to save the day. Nice touch. Mira I am still confused. If I remember correctly, Kreia says that she would die helping people and have no regrets. I was thinking in terms of a planet as only a Jedi would do. Anyway, good job and I see that you are submitting for the Archives. Great job.

Diego Varen
07-27-2006, 04:56 PM
Thanks for the comments JediMaster12. Well Kreia's predictions can't always be true can they. They could veary. Like the weather for example.

This is my second piece in The Jedi Archives. The Heart Of The Guardian should be posted there too. Have you voted in the Entertainment Centre Awards 2006 yet or are you waiting for awhile?

Jason Skywalker
07-27-2006, 05:05 PM
Good ending chapter. Sad to see Mira go away. Hope the T3 one is as good as this! ;)

Diego Varen
07-28-2006, 03:48 AM
Good ending chapter. Sad to see Mira go away. Hope the T3 one is as good as this! ;)

Thanks, but I might change my mind about a T3 Fic. I might do the other one, because it hasn't been done or I might think up something else. Take a look at this in the Jedi Archives.

Jae Onasi
07-28-2006, 09:31 AM
Pretty good fic, Pottsie. The only thing that jumped out at me was the continuity error--Jaden gets his arm cut off, but then he picks up Mira--he'd need 2 arms for that, even if she's really light. And they'd also want to get him to a hospital ASAP, despite lightsabers cauterizing wounds and stopping bleeding.
However, the fight scenes are exciting, and the reason for Zor's need to kill is very interesting.

You and stingerhs both have 2 fics there as of this posting time. :)

Diego Varen
07-28-2006, 10:17 AM
Pretty good fic, Pottsie. The only thing that jumped out at me was the continuity error--Jaden gets his arm cut off, but then he picks up Mira--he'd need 2 arms for that, even if she's really light. And they'd also want to get him to a hospital ASAP, despite lightsabers cauterizing wounds and stopping bleeding.
However, the fight scenes are exciting, and the reason for Zor's need to kill is very interesting.

You and stingerhs both have 2 fics there as of this posting time. :)

So we do :lol:. Anyway, I have a good excuse for the mistakes. It was late last night and there were small powercuts that made the Computer restart and I was in a hurry to finish this Fic off. If I have time to redo this, I will. Thanks Jae.

07-28-2006, 11:15 AM
Its a bit strange that Jaden is just like, "Oh we'll give Mira a good funeral." I would be crying buckets!!!

Diego Varen
07-28-2006, 02:23 PM
Its a bit strange that Jaden is just like, "Oh we'll give Mira a good funeral." I would be crying buckets!!!

Jaden just didn't want to show how upset he would've been. Besides if Brianna had died, then he would crying in buckets.

Diego Varen
07-29-2006, 07:33 AM
I have an idea for a Fic for me to write. It would be set in between KOTOR and TSL and it would star the Jedi Master that some people despise. Master Vrook. He would fall to the Dark Side after Revan left for the Unknown Regions and he has sworn revenge against the Jedi. The Fanfic would show his Dark Side and it would show him returning to the Light Side. It would be called Vrook Lamar - Fallen Jedi Master or something like that. What do you think?

Jason Skywalker
07-29-2006, 09:31 AM
Your damn right i despsise him! But...Dark Side? I'm all for it! :)

Diego Varen
07-29-2006, 10:14 AM
Your damn right i despsise him! But...Dark Side? I'm all for it! :)

I don't know how I would do it though. I'll have to think of something else...

Jason Skywalker
07-29-2006, 10:25 AM
*coughMandalorianWarsorJaden'slifeafterhewasexiled ficough*

Diego Varen
07-29-2006, 10:33 AM
I think I won't do that idea. I'll have to think of something else.

Jason Skywalker
07-29-2006, 10:34 AM
Hmm, something with Kyle?

Diego Varen
07-29-2006, 10:38 AM
Hmm, something with Kyle?

That could work. It would be set in between Outcast and Academy. There could be another Sith loose. Not a Dark Jedi wannabe like Tavion. Thanks Jason. I'll see if I can come up with something.

Jason Skywalker
07-29-2006, 10:40 AM
D'oh! I just had the idea of the sequel of Darkness Rising, in which Jaden and Revan joined the new Jedi *coughJorranorBavanCorral* and destroyed the True Sith. Bleh, you would probably reject it anyways.

Diego Varen
07-29-2006, 10:44 AM
D'oh! I just had the idea of the sequel of Darkness Rising, in which Jaden and Revan joined the new Jedi *coughJorranorBavanCorral* and destroyed the True Sith. Bleh, you would probably reject it anyways.

Not necessarily, I could do that. Maybe after this Kyle Fic though. It may include a cameo from Jaden too. The Working Title is Jedi Knight: Jedi Chronicles.

If anybody can think of a better title than Chronicles, please post. It has to be one word only. I considered Forces, but that reminds me of my old Fic.

Jason Skywalker
07-29-2006, 10:58 AM
Adventures, Masterhood? I'm not really good at names. :xp:

Diego Varen
07-29-2006, 11:08 AM
I must be having really bad Writer's Block, because I can't think of a good Fic to write. I don't feel like writing another Jedi Academy Fic or anything right now. For awhile, I think I will relax and take a look at other people's Fics.

Jason Skywalker
07-29-2006, 11:09 AM
Yeah, you do that.

07-29-2006, 01:24 PM
we all know what that means :D

i'm sorry i didnt reply sooner, Pottsie, but i finally got through it and i think you've done very well. but, as LordRevan said, i thought Jaden was being a bit too cheery about Mira's death. other than that, its done well. i'll go through it again and see if there's something i dont like :D

07-29-2006, 02:04 PM
I've been busy too, but I've finally finished. :D Good fic. I liked it.

Diego Varen
07-29-2006, 03:49 PM
Thanks for all the comments. I may edit that last Chapter. If I do, I'll let you all know.

Anyway, I've done a Fic for:

A. Jedi Knight Series

B. KOTOR Series

I hope to do a Battlefront style Fic or something in the Star Wars Saga. They may have elements from KOTOR, you never know with me, :lol:.

Jason Skywalker
07-29-2006, 03:51 PM
I know, how about a NJO series?

Diego Varen
07-29-2006, 03:52 PM
I know, how about a NJO series?

I've never read any of the New Jedi Order Series, so I don't know much about that. Sorry.

07-29-2006, 06:39 PM
You could do an Ebon Hawk fic?

Diego Varen
09-09-2006, 04:59 PM
Sorry to ressurect another of my old Fics, but since I've started the RP for it, I've been reading this and was I an idiot. Some mistakes and other things which didn't make sense. Perhaps, once I finish The Sith Lord Special Edition, I may do a Darkness Rising Special Edition and sort out the grammar, etc.