View Full Version : [FIC] [WIP] Knights of the Old Republic: The Shadow War

07-20-2006, 01:52 PM
This is my second attempt at writing a fic. My first one wasn't so successfull, but i'm going to give this one more shot. Comments and criticism are much welcomed. This story is set 6 months after the end of KOTOR II, and follows the continuing journey of the exile, who is named Krystyna Starblade.

Knights of the Old Republic:
The Shadow War

Chapter 1

“Krystyna, why are we here?”
Krystyna Starblade looks over at Atton Rand. “We’re meeting with Admiral Onasi.”
The door opens and Admiral Carth Onasi walks in. “Master Starblade, Jedi Rand. What can I do for you?” Carth takes a seat across from the two of them.
Krystyna nods her head to Carth. “Admiral Onasi, thank you for receiving us. We are preparing for a journey, and I am gathering those who need to go with us. I believe that there is something that you can do to help us with this.”
Carth frowns. “What is this journey Master Starblade, and what can I do to assist you?”

Krystyna leans forward. “We are heading for the Unknown regions. I need to find someone. There is a threat looming in the distance. One that will be the greatest the Republic has ever faced. A lone Jedi has gone ahead to find that threat. I need to find him, and face this threat with him.”

Carth stands up and walks to the view port, looking out at Citadel station, then looks back at her. “You are going to search for Revan aren’t you?” Krystyna nods affirmation. “As much as I would like to help you find him and this threat, I don’t know that there is anything that I can do for you, other than outfit you and your ship for this journey.”
Krystyna walks over to Carth and looks him in the eyes. “There is much more you can do Admiral. Where is Bastila?”

Later, Krystyna and Atton are standing in landing bay A1 as Republic soldiers load provisions into the Ebon Hawk. “Krystyna, do you think Onasi was telling us the truth about Bastila?”
“No, he was lying to us. He knows where she is. In fact, she is on Citadel station right now.”
Atton looks surprised. “How do you know that?”
Krystyna smiles. “I can feel her in the Force, she is close. Right now, I’d bet you a hundred credits that she and Onasi are discussing whether or not she should join us.”

“Do you think that she believed me?” Carth looks at Bastila, who shakes her head.
“No, she knows that you were lying to her Carth. I could sense that. She also knows that I’m on the station. The only question is whether I should go with her or not.”
“I’m surprised that’s even a question Bastila. I figured that you would jump at the chance to go search for Revan.”

“ As much as I want to, there are other things to consider Carth. The Republic is still in a fragile state. Even though Krystyna defeated the Sith lords, the Sith are still out there. We don’t know when they will strike again, and even though Jedi are now coming out of hiding, there are still very few of them. My task should be to start rebuilding the Order.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I need to talk to Krystyna and hear what she has to say before I decide that Carth.”

Krystyna sits in a meditation chamber aboard the Ebon Hawk when she feels a disturbance in the Force. She stands up and heads towards the boarding ramp. She arrives and finds a woman standing there. The two of them smile and Krystyna steps forward and gives the woman a hug. “Bastila, it’s been a long time.”

“Krystyna, good to see you again my friend. I’m glad to see that you've reconnected with the Force.”
“Come, let’s sit down and talk.” The two of them walk into the main salon and have a seat. Bastila looks around. “You’ve changed a few things. I noticed you added new compartments to the port side.”

“Yes, I decided to make a few changes so the Ebon Hawk would be more suited to Jedi traveling on missions. I’ll get right to the point Bastila. The time has come to find Revan. During my final battle with Kreia, she revealed some things to me about the threat Revan searches for, and what needs to be done.”

“Are you sure you can believe what she said? She was a Sith after all.”
Krystyna nods. “Yes, I believe her, for three months ago, I had a vision of what lies ahead. We must go, or the Republic will fall. Of that, I am certain.”
Bastila frowns. “You know that the future is always in motion Krystyna. Your vision may never happen. As much as I want to find Revan, I need more than that. The Republic needs us here. The Order needs to be rebuilt, and we should be seeing to that. There are too few of us.”

“You are right, the Order does need to be rebuilt, but not by you or me. Others, who are now returning, along with the Knights I have recently trained, will rebuild it. WE need to go on this journey. The Sith here, the ones we have faced for years, are Sith in name only. The true Sith, the ones who are an actual race, are the real threat to us. I have spent the last couple of months conducting research. I was able to download a wealth of information from the Trayus academy before it was destroyed. In its archives was extensive information on the Sith Empire, which lays beyond the unknown regions.”

“These Sith have been watching us, waiting for the time to be right, to strike at us. And that the time will soon come, if we don’t go now! We must act, or all will be lost. There is one final piece that has convinced me that it is time for us to go.”
“And what is that?”
Krystyna hands over a datapad. “The Ebon Hawk received this transmission yesterday.”
Bastila quickly reads the message, and looks up with a shocked expression. “This is from Revan!”
“Yes, addressed to me, telling me to gather those who were revealed in my vision and leave immediately.”
“Who is supposed to be in this group?”
“You, me, Atton, T3, HK, and a Mandalorian named Kelborn. I’ve already spoken with Mandalore, and Kelborn will be arriving here on a transport tonight. That is our core group. Others will join us along the way, including one who will become your Padawan.”
“My Padawan? Did your vision reveal who this person is?”
“No, though you will know when you meet them.”
Bastila sighs. “This is a lot to take in. Is there anything else of your vision that you can reveal to me?”
“Not now. When the time is right, you will know more.”
“It’s sounds like you’re hiding something Krystyna.”
“Not hiding. I have told you all that is meant to be revealed at this time. For you to know more would jeopardize our mission.”
Bastila stares across the table at Krystyna. “I sense that you are telling me the truth, so I guess I will have to trust you to tell me more when you feel it is right. Very well, I will join you. When do we leave?”
“As soon as Kelborn arrives.”
“Well then, I’m going to let Carth know that I am going with you and gather my things. I will be back shortly.”
“Thank you Bastila.”

A couple of hours later, Krystyna arrives at the main terminal to meet Kelborn’s transport. The transport soon docks, and passengers start offloading. Krystyna watches as Kelborn steps off the transport and looks around. He spots her and heads in her direction. Krystyna notices that the passengers are giving him a wide berth. As Kelborn reaches her, he nods his head in acknowledgement.
“Starblade, good to see you.”
“Kelborn, glad you could make it. How was the trip?”
“Long and boring. I had nothing to do. Everyone onboard avoided me like the Iridonian plague. Mandalore told me about the mission. Sounds interesting. I look forward to the challenges we shall face.”
Krystyna smiles “And face them we shall. There are many challenges ahead of us. Come, soon our last member of the group will be with us, and I have something I must discuss with you privately.” The two of them head for the Ebon Hawk.

Soon Krystyna, Atton, Kelborn, and the droids are standing in front of the Ebon Hawk as Carth and Bastila approach. As the two of them reach the others Carth tells them, “I just want to wish you all good luck. Where will you be starting your search?”
“Rakata. Admiral Onasi, Bastila, you have already met Atton, and you are both more than familiar with T3 and HK. Let me introduce you the other member of our group. This is Kelborn, a Mandalorian warrior, and an accomplished scout. Kelborn, this is Bastila Shan and Admiral Carth Onasi.”

Kelborn acknowledges them. “Admiral, I have heard of you. You fought bravely against us during the wars. And I have heard of you as well Bastila. Mandalore speaks highly of you.”
Bastila nods back to him. “Kelborn, it is a pleasure to meet you.” She looks at Kelborn curiously, and then turns to Starblade. “Krystyna?”
Krystyna nods. “You noticed, eh? Yes, Kelborn is strong in the Force. He is to be my Padawan.”

Carth looks surprised at this. “Your Padawan? A Mandalorian?”
“The Force knows no race Admiral. Kelborn will be a great Jedi. But that discussion is for another time. It is time for us to leave.” Krystyna looks at the group. “Are all of you ready?” They all nod to her. “Then let’s go.” They turn and board the Ebon Hawk. The boarding ramp closes. Carth stands there and watches as the Ebon Hawk lifts off and departs Citadel station. “May the Force be with you all.” He then turns and leaves the landing bay.

07-20-2006, 09:23 PM
Nice idea, but I don't really like the present-tense thing (e.g. "he walks into the room and says 'hello'.") I like the past-tense (e.g "He walked into the room and said, "Hello!")

But yeah, not a bad story. ;)

07-25-2006, 12:38 AM
I agree with Yaggles, use past-tense, it makes it flow better.
Other than that, its sounds like it could go places.
Keep the chapters coming!!!

07-25-2006, 03:25 AM
i agree with Yaggles and Raven_Onasi, this has potential. I like it, but yeah, use Past-Tense, other than that.


Hope to see more ... :D

07-28-2006, 05:14 PM
Thanks for the comments. I see what you all mean about using the past tense instead. New chapter will be coming up in a couple of days.