View Full Version : "I'm you from the future!"
Got the idea from latest page of The Wotch, anyway, what would you do if a more mature version of you from the future visisted? Would you heed their warnings or team up and pull pranks on people?
08-04-2006, 01:01 PM
I would like to think that I would take the whole thing very seriously, and learn from my future self in order to be a better person. But most likey I would throw things at him and call him, and steal his time portal thing ( Which would be a 1992 Buick Lesabre)to run amok throughout our time stream. I have all sorts of cool ideas for things.
This one time, I put a flaming bag of dog doo right next to George Washington's bed and he freaked out HARD! He tried to put it out with his bedsheets. Which ended up catching fire burning down his house and killing him and lots of others. Then, I brought Steven Segal back in time and he took George's place as first president of the United States.
The country fell apart 30 years later and Canada ended up counquering them. But the new U.S. was totally badass. Everyone was real quite and overweight. And ponytails were the big thing. Also karate. but noone was any good at the karate. Or acting. Also everyone ran real funny. Like retarded monkey-girls. Have you ever seen Segal run in his movies?! He does it all the time, and he looks stupid as hell. Anyways, it was SOOOOOO FUNNY!
Also I would fight an evil robot-headed-Einstein. Bet you weren't expecting that as an answer to this.
Nope, not evil robot-head Einstein.
08-04-2006, 01:10 PM
Just about every robot is automatically evil. Except the non-evil ones.
Just about every robot is automatically evil. Except the non-evil ones.
...DOES NOT COMPUTE. *splodes*
08-04-2006, 01:24 PM
Haha. Oh robot humor. When the time comes that they dominate our species I will be happy. Because their comedians will be so funny, it wont matter that our species killed itself in a massive case of irony.
08-04-2006, 11:09 PM
Three words my friends: Win the lottery.
08-05-2006, 11:46 AM
Future me: I'm you from 2018.
Me: Why's your hair black then?
Future me:I decided to dye it in high school.
Me: Why did you do that?
Future me: Black hair fits in better when hiding in the dark.
Me: Okaaaaay. What happens in the future?
Future me: We fixed global warming, Australia prevented a canadian invasion, Evolution was proved true, we have antimatter bombs, and I (or you) became rich by geting hit by a car owned by a wealthy corporation.
08-05-2006, 12:18 PM
She comes back and still looks way freggin stylish. I'll give you the sceniro when we meet
Me-OMG! I love your dress
Future-I'm you idiot.
Me-Don't call me idiot, idiot!
Future-GOD! I'm such a bitch.
Me-I mean, you know. It's just that time and...
Future-OH!! Yeah, well I just came to tell you that we do become big in fashion. We get the cover of vogue!
Me-HELL YEAH! Do I work at Panara or Starbucks before? Or Cici's
Future-Panara. It was so awesome.
*is sitting on computer when SUDDENLY*
Me-Ah holy hell!
FutureMe-I am you from the future!
Me-Well duh, why else would my wall go KRACKA-THOOM...
FutureMe-...riiiiight... anyway, I just came back to tell you your philosophy on mankind's creation was right.
Me-*gasp* So we really are created by ourselves?
FutureMe-Uh, hello? I'm time-travelling aren't I?
Me-So every religion was wrong!
FutureMe-By the way, I came here to kill your brother. He ends up changing the future into something... horrible...
FutureMe-Don't try to sto- wait what?
Me-I don't like him. I would do it myself, but since you're from the future you'd leave less evidence.
FutureMe-Man, I was a little prick way back when...
Me-Hey! Don't be so hard on yourself!
FutureMe-Heheh, you said "hard on".
Me-Huwha- oh... I did. Heheh.
08-05-2006, 09:45 PM
WHOA FUTURE PYRO MEETS ORDINARY PYRO
Future: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SAVE ME FROM THIS IMBECILE!!!
Me: And you are?
Future: You. When you're twenty.
Me: You sound... Horrible.
Future: Oh. Smoke inhalation is bad, kiddo. It ruins your voice, and you can't play french horn anymore.
Future: Let me put it this way- You're never gonna sing again if you do what you did.
Me: And what do I do?
Future: You set your hockey turf on fire when you find out you can use pyro. And then most of the team dies, and you, Christina and Sophie escape. But your vocal cords are damaged. So you can sing. Ever. Again.
Me: ~pokes future me~
Me: So anyway, what happens in my school?
Future: Mrs Oliver makes sure you fail.
Me: So what are you doing these days?
Future: I'm a janitor.
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!
Future: Who uses her psychic powers to save the world on the side.
Future: And you have a mini.
Future: And you work for double fine writing scripts for their games with Tim Schafer.
Future: I just created a time paradox. None of that stuff will ever happen now.
Me: Wow, in the future, I'm a retard.
08-06-2006, 12:37 AM
ME: Did my game ever get published?
FUTUREME: Hell yeah. It's won pretty much every Game of the Year.
FUTUREME: Mostly because all the fangirls freak out at the fact you can make Dakrov ghey.
ME: I was never gonna add that. That's screwed up.
FUTUREME: Yeah, but do you wanna win GOTY or not?
ME: Well, you ARE from the future.
FUTUREME: I sure am.
ME: So since you told me in the past, why do you have to come back and tell me now?
FUTUREME: ...OH ****!
*everything goes black*
08-06-2006, 12:42 AM
Lol, Cheez. Just, lol.
08-06-2006, 01:18 AM
Future-Hey Ave guess what else.
Me-What? Do I go out with Chase?
Future-Yeah, for like a day.
Future-Oh my god! We still do that today!
Me-Really? Yeah, Episode 3 was so kickass. Did we make out at all.
Future-You did more that that
Me-Oh...god. I swore i'd wait until marrage. But I said I'd never get married, so it was kinda inevatable.
Future-Whatever. You remember those pointy toed shoes you saw at Target?
Me-Hellz yeah. They were so freggin hott.
Future-Well, you get them in a few days.
Me-Yayzers! Do I get that flowery trench?
Future-You'd bet your ass.
Me-God, I love target.
SEQUEL PART NEXT!
Me-So... what goes on?
FutureMe-I can't tell you! But I can tell you you get Jump Superstars soon!
FutureMe-Also you get that Foreigner belt you wanted.
08-06-2006, 03:09 PM
FUTURE MASHI MEETS PRESENT MASHI MEETS PAST MASHI?!
MASHI: [sitting in her room]
FUTURE MASHI: HALDO.
MASHI: Ohemgee! My characters are coming to life!
FUTURE MASHI: Actually, no. In the future you get a species change! Furries don't have to make their own costumes anymore!
MASHI: Freakin' sweet!
FUTURE MASHI: Also, I brought a past self with me!
8-YEAR-OLD MASHI: Where's Daddy? I wanna go home.
MASHI: ****, YOU JUST BROUGHT A TIME PARADOX ON US!
8-YEAR-OLD MASHI: THAT'S A SWEAR!
FUTURE MASHI: [floating around in the void] Who wants to play Dungeons and Dragons?
MASHI: ...I sure love the geek I have become. ...Seriously I do!
8-YEAR-OLD MASHI: I HATE BOTH OF YOU.
08-06-2006, 08:04 PM
[Abby sitting in room]
Abby: HOLLY F***!!!!!
F Me: Hiya, I'm you from the future.
Abby: Ummmmmmmm, why do you have pink and black bondage pants on? And a pink and black corset?
F Me: Ohhhhhhh....... yah. Goths take over the world. And pink and black are the new black.
F Me: Yah, and Jack Thompson is the president.
Abby: Crap. What year is this?
F Me: 2011.
Abby: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, PROM IS RUINED!!!!!!!!!! Wait, whoed I go with???
F Me: Chuck
Abby: Who the hell's Chuck?
F Me: uh oh..... I have to go for now but here's some advice: Put cement over all the dead in the world when they're died. Otherwise, you'll be dealing with somthing like that crappy movie Resident Evil.
Abby: Danm. So much for laser tag after prom :/
08-06-2006, 08:52 PM
Me: *looks in direction, sees guy standing in hallway*
Future self: "Up,up,down,down,left,right,left,right,B,A,B,A, start."
Me: *No reaction*
Future self: *Dissapears*
08-10-2006, 12:10 AM
I'm in my house one day and then BAM a 1992 Buick Lesabre with a totally rad flame paint job, and 13 foot wheels with spinners, busts through a time portal into my home running over my legs violently and starts shooting chocolate milkshakes out of my gas tank. It's blazing the theme to A Space Odyssey 2001. A futuristic version of myself emerges from the car. You know it's a futuristic me, because his shirt future on it. Also he has cool sunglasses.
Future me: Hey I peed in your drink.
Current me: Why would you pee in your own drink?
Future me: To enrage you so much, that you are determined to get back at me at all costs. So you spend the rest of your life inventing a time machine to go back in time to pee in your own drink again, in an act of displaced aggression.
current me: Wait if you had a time machine why wouldn't you just go back in time and prevent the other future me from peeing in my own drink? Also, how could you pee in my drink it's been in my hands this whole time?
Future me: I have a robot. He does stuff.
And with that said, we both do a amazingly perfect rendition of the robot dance. It's so awesome that it causes our eyes to water up. We start emitting waves of pure awesome that sweep through the hole made by my future self's time machine. It travels throughout all the known time-streams killing billions and crippiling trillions more. Existence as we and all others know it is horribly disfigured. And then a evil robot headed Alber Einstein does the sprinkler dance.
LOL. I'm sorry for this post. But I was in a writing mood. And also this just happened.
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