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View Full Version : JK storm Troopers (Humor)


K_Kinnison
05-07-2000, 04:29 PM
Found this in a caputred Imp Manuial:
Rules for engaging Rebel's

Rule 1: Never check your target just start shooting.

Rule 2: Troopers that are good shots should never be on the front lines.

Rule 3: All areas are restricted.

Rule 4: Rebels will always surrender at your voice commands, never expect a surprise attack.

Rule 5: All good little troopers must be in bed by 5:00 PM to make shure they can get the jump on Rebel scum.

Rule 6: Do all killings in the name of the empire.

Rule 7: Traders will defect to the alliance and tell our plans to the Rebel scum.

Rule 9: All troopers must shoot poorly in the 7% acc range!

Rule 10: Hey, there is not rule 8!

Only imperial Stormtoopers are so precise. (at being inaccurate)

Imperial Exam:

1. If someone is Sniping at you, what is the best action? Run After them until you can see the white of thier eyes, and ignore any other fire.

2. If a Rail Detonater gets attached to you...what should you do? Run towrds your squadmates, and have them pull it off before it explodes.

3. What happens if you lose your weapon? Run around, and tell everyone else (even Jedi scum) to stay at thier posts.

4. What is the best food for Kell Dragons?Parts is parts, Dead is dead, Stormtoopers are parts.

5. What is an effective counter to a lightasber welding Jedi? Using you puny weapon as a lightsaber. (Look ma, I'm a jedi!)

6. Whats that shiny circular thing on the ground? Nothing, the enemy is my only en--BOOM!!!

7. How should you annoce you presance to a Sneaking Jedi? Speak very loudly to your parnter and say "DID YOUR HEAR SOMETHING?!"

8. A bouncing Theraml Detonater is a good indication of what? That jedi scum is around here somew---BOOM!

9. What is the best thing to do when confronted with a Jedi who is only Welding a lightsaber? Give him your weapon..it will make him happier.

10. Whats the diffenace between Jedi Scum, and Rebel Scum? Rebel scum is good for spackeling. Jedi scum makes good spackeling out of Stormtroopers.

(i had some help from Lt_Greywolf)

JR2000Z
05-09-2000, 01:00 AM
I replied.

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We dont know how you did it but you are now promoted to Rear Admiral...We think you cheated.

Thrawn
05-09-2000, 04:14 PM
This is funny stuff my friend!

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"Have no fear, your local Grand Admiral is here!"
ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn
Rogue 6

milkshake
05-09-2000, 07:14 PM
Well my friend, I think you passed, congratulations!

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Charlie "Milkshake" Mitchell
Black wind squadron/Rouge Aliiance
Black 4/Rouge 8
Self proclaimed RAL Drunkard
milkshake@milkshake.co.uk
There is no privacy in the modern world!!