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View Full Version : Recent real-life Experience. The Thread.


Davinq
04-02-2007, 06:21 PM
Before I begin, I just want to let our new moderators know that the following topic would be considered by most to be PG-13, and therefore appropriate for these forums.

Just wanted to let you know, because I'm a little freaked out by this and wanted to share it with someone I don't really know so they have no influence over it.

Right forumites, how many of you have heard scary stories about things that are told by teachers to scare kids away from certain things (ie drugs), and thought you would never experience them?

Beat this.

I've known this kid named *snipped by Dav* since the second grade, and although he was quiet and shy, he was generally well-liked and all.

He was quiet, that is, until this year.

This year he's been very talkative, very hyper, and very violent. Only last week did he return from a two-week suspension for bringing weapons to school. Not just your everyday kid-accidentally-brought-a-pocket-knife-to-school type thing either. He had:

- A lighter
- A throwing knife
- A pocket knife.
- A throwing star
- Firecrackers

Now don't get me wrong and think that *snipped again by Dav* is a misunderstood freak of nature. IMO he's relatively normal. Until this year.

But that's not all.

All through the year, I've seen these suspicious-looking twins giving him what looked like a can of Red Bull every morning.

Red Bull. Psh. Boy was I mistaken.

That's right folks. Because today I found out that a kid who rides my bus, has a decent-looking girlfriend, and at age fourteen, is an alcoholic. :guiness:

He was so loopy by fifth period today that he nonchalantly told myself and the person sitting next to me that the cans he was getting from the aforementioned twins was beer. He even smelled like it too.

We've been friends (not close friends, not best friends; casual friends) since second grade. He's boozing in school. Taking a quiz sixth period his hands were shaking, and he couldn't stop laughing. Oh God, and what a freakish laugh it was. He wasn't himself. 0.o

And he's telling me not to tell. Now I know I should, that it's the right thing and stuff, but the problem is, we've since discovered that it was a sixth grader on our bus that snitched on him for the weapons, and I don't want to be seen by everybody else in the school as a whiney-tattle-tale eigth grade gone sixth grade prat.

I'm almost afraid at this point that if I tell he's going to try to hurt me somehow.

HEEEELP! :wornout:

Mmk. Discuss and offer advice please?

@Ave/etc.: Not intended to be forum drama, the real-life drama's bad enough.

martmeister
04-02-2007, 06:33 PM
Find somebody else to do the snitching. Get "goody 2 shoes Suzy" to be the prat. Or say to her (or anyone else), "say, doesn't <so and so> seem ...tipsy?"

Firecrackers? Unless they're the Roman candle kind, I wouldn't worry. Or talk to him about not being a drunk in school...do it at home while he's not (yet) driving.

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-02-2007, 06:36 PM
Didn't read the OP; assuming it's not worth reading anyway.

Miss_Mayhem
04-03-2007, 01:09 AM
I used to know a girl who did drugs, but she had warning signs all over there was no reason to snitch. She got expelled.

Yeah, have someone snitch for you, or send some sort of anonymous note.

Emperor Devon
04-03-2007, 02:44 AM
Peer pressure is no excuse to compromise your integrity. Your friend is violating the law. With how he is behaving and the weapons he possesses, he could very well be a danger to someone. Drunk teenagers are bad enough. Armed teenagers are worse. Have both and it is very likely someone will get hurt. In this instance you must put aside your peer's opinions and do this for your own good. If you're insistent about them not finding out, report it to a safety hotline, a teacher, a school counselor or the police and ask that your name not be given out. It is quite likely that they will oblige you in that.

This kid's behavior is not going to change. It will only get worse and he will only get more drunk - from what you described he obviously doesn't want to change and those twins are doing nothing to help him. If he keeps getting drunk and carrying around weapons, how long do you think it will be before he attacks somebody? Can you honestly say that if he stays drunk for all his time at high school (which he likely will) that nothing will happen because of it? I would be very skeptical if you said yes.

There are a lot of people you can report this to. For the sake of your own and other's safety, let someone who can do something know!

martmeister
04-03-2007, 08:32 AM
If he doesn't know you know, you might be able to see if you can get the "Red Bull" from him; tell him you didn't get much sleep and could use a picker-upper. He'll either let you have it, tell you no, or tell you what's in it. If you DO get the Red Bull, take a whiff (if it really does smell like al) and tell him it smells weird (still don't drink it).

Tell his parents if you have to. Discuss with him why he does it...something more than "it's just fun" has to be the answer. It's quite possible that he's bored. Go play a sport, beat each other with kindo sticks, jog, get involved in something that requires more thought process than a drunk can handle.

So many options...I'd still talk to him first. Maybe tell him about the repercussiosn of drug abuse on school property and tell him it scares you about the weapons.

Ray Jones
04-03-2007, 09:00 AM
Didn't read the OP; assuming it's not worth reading anyway.I might or might not give you a short resume about it's content? Or did you catch everything necessary from marty's post?

But remember, "or"-questions shall not be answered with "yes/no"-answers.

Davinq
04-03-2007, 06:31 PM
If he doesn't know you know, you might be able to see if you can get the "Red Bull" from him; tell him you didn't get much sleep and could use a picker-upper. He'll either let you have it, tell you no, or tell you what's in it. If you DO get the Red Bull, take a whiff (if it really does smell like al) and tell him it smells weird (still don't drink it).

Tell his parents if you have to. Discuss with him why he does it...something more than "it's just fun" has to be the answer. It's quite possible that he's bored. Go play a sport, beat each other with kindo sticks, jog, get involved in something that requires more thought process than a drunk can handle.

So many options...I'd still talk to him first. Maybe tell him about the repercussiosn of drug abuse on school property and tell him it scares you about the weapons.
Haha, someone else found out. He snitched instead. Very out of character for the bloke.

And yeah, Culprit 1 was doing it "just for fun." It fits his style anyways.

Meanwhile, said snitcher also found out about five other kiddos being supplied by the twins! 0.o

Thinking violent thoughts, those culprits must be. Better *snipped by Dav* being the snitch than my other classmate or me.

I'm glad this is over [for now] though. School drama's at an all-time high of late.

martmeister
04-03-2007, 07:31 PM
Huzzah!

Poopdogjr
04-03-2007, 07:46 PM
Geez, that's messed up man. Hopefully the kid's ok.

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-03-2007, 08:42 PM
im watchin law and order there's this crazy black chick it's mad funny

Das Mole
04-03-2007, 10:31 PM
well. if you're the only ones he's told, i wouldn't say anything.

because then he'll know it was you and then you could be on the receiving end of the throwing star. :)

i'd just keep it hashish hush-hush until someone else finds out he reeks of alcohol. i mean, if you're casual friends, he's not going to like be all fdnnaeioaperjanzlla and use those weapons on you or whatever. and you should probably keep it that way.

DarthAve
04-03-2007, 10:31 PM
Somthing really sexy/awkward happened to me in real life. Wanna hear about it???

Das Mole
04-03-2007, 10:36 PM
why not.

Davinq
04-03-2007, 10:38 PM
0.o

Yesh, yesh! Let us hear schmexy ockward stories...

turtlefreak
04-03-2007, 10:39 PM
Firecrackers? Unless they're the Roman candle kind, I wouldn't worry.
Ky dad's little bro was killed by a
Roman candle durring the Nicaraguan Revolution.
One shot int through
The curch window and
set his ass on fire.
So sad..

As for Dav's case
Just dont get invloved
Try to stay away from him
And if he really starts to freak you out
break his jaw.
When they take him to the hospital
they're gonna realized he's a boozer
And everyone will forget about you
And they expel his ass


Problem solved.
:D

DarthAve
04-03-2007, 10:41 PM
lol, my dad almost burnt his face with a roman candle.

Than my little god sister almost burned the house down and we were only allowed to do those little snake things and sparkelers the rest of the night

Davinq
04-03-2007, 10:44 PM
lol, my dad almost burnt his face with a roman candle.

Than my little god sister almost burned the house down and we were only allowed to do those little snake things and sparkelers the rest of the night
We're getting off the main subject; Ave's sexy/awkward story!

DarthAve
04-03-2007, 10:47 PM
I'll get to that...later.

turtlefreak
04-03-2007, 10:52 PM
Hey Dav!
U look kinda hot in that pic! :D


...
okay sorry
Just had to say that


Back to the topic...

Davinq
04-03-2007, 10:58 PM
My avvy?

Why thanks. :S

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-03-2007, 11:58 PM
dont let her fool you you look like a wigger with a rash

Davinq
04-04-2007, 12:02 AM
I would love to see a picture of you jmac.

Oh, here it is!

http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m293/davinq/man10.jpg

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-04-2007, 12:06 AM
i would love to see you post something funny

Rogue Nine
04-04-2007, 12:10 AM
^^^^^ wut he said

o wait i found a pic of young Davinq

http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/7323/1133676022626qm4.jpg

Davinq
04-04-2007, 12:12 AM
Some admin you are.

Hax?

milo
04-04-2007, 12:24 AM
Some admin you are.

Hax?
no

super mindfux pwerz k

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-04-2007, 12:25 AM
@davin
no it's just you

Halo_92
04-04-2007, 12:40 AM
@Rogue Nine- roflmaolol

DarthAve
04-04-2007, 11:22 AM
^^^^^ wut he said

o wait i found a pic of young Davinq

meanie picture
Now Rogue Nine, I'm really confuzed. You're a high authority power here, being an Admin and all, and your being a jerk. I think you might be setting an example that new members may or may not start to follow. You're giving the example that it's ok here to be mean to other members. You and Jmac are making Davinq feel really bad (I know, he's constantly PMing me about how he wants me to get jmac banned.) and I think that you are setting a bad example. So FOR SHAME, Rogue Nine, FOR SHAME!

Ray Jones
04-04-2007, 01:27 PM
Taken from the Welcome to Aresen note, used since the beginning of time:
Don't piss off the mods/supermods/admins
Don't worry, Rogue Nine is alwayz grumpy

If Rogue Nine would ban me I'd be so happy he is so kewl! :3

Poopdogjr
04-04-2007, 02:04 PM
I shot my uncle with a roman candle once. Ah that was a funny summer. N E ways leave Dav alone. He's a good kid. We don't hate in these here forums. We just do stupid stuff.

Ray Jones
04-04-2007, 02:46 PM
Yeah, and we have Ray!

DarthAve
04-04-2007, 03:14 PM
Oh great Ray. ~rolls her eyes~

I was sick today, so my mom gave me some medicen, and I puked all over my new Vogue Magazien. D:

I should go play KotOR.

Ray Jones
04-04-2007, 03:38 PM
Yeah, without me, you know, what would it be?

Let's say it together: nuttin'!

milo
04-04-2007, 05:04 PM
Now Rogue Nine, I'm really confuzed. You're a high authority power here, being an Admin and all, and your being a jerk. I think you might be setting an example that new members may or may not start to follow. You're giving the example that it's ok here to be mean to other members. You and Jmac are making Davinq feel really bad (I know, he's constantly PMing me about how he wants me to get jmac banned.) and I think that you are setting a bad example. So FOR SHAME, Rogue Nine, FOR SHAME!
ohhhhh niner u just got owned by a 12 y/o wut nao

Samnmax221
04-04-2007, 05:09 PM
You and Jmac are making Davinq feel really bad (I know, he's constantly PMing me about how he wants me to get jmac banned.)
He doesn't bitch about me? Now my feelings are hurt.

DarthAve
04-04-2007, 05:14 PM
ohhhhh niner u just got owned by a 12 y/o wut nao
I'm 14 jerk. q:

Woodnote
04-04-2007, 05:20 PM
I'm 14 jerk. q:
...And you had a fiance.

Don't bash the fourteeners man.

Samnmax221
04-04-2007, 05:23 PM
Don't bash the fourteeners man.
Pls. You guys don't know **** yet.

Halo_92
04-04-2007, 05:27 PM
too ba dim 679 sheitz hedx

Grey Master
04-04-2007, 07:33 PM
Now Rogue Nine, I'm really confuzed. You're a high authority power here, being an Admin and all, and your being a jerk. I think you might be setting an example that new members may or may not start to follow. You're giving the example that it's ok here to be mean to other members. You and Jmac are making Davinq feel really bad (I know, he's constantly PMing me about how he wants me to get jmac banned.) and I think that you are setting a bad example. So FOR SHAME, Rogue Nine, FOR SHAME!

YOU ARE MY HERO AVE, I BOW TO YOU!

...And you had a fiance.

Now how would you know that????

Davinq
04-04-2007, 08:13 PM
e-fiance, Grey.

Someone needs to take some RD history lessons! ;)

Samnmax221
04-04-2007, 08:21 PM
*
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/6/64/Thoufailethit.jpg

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-04-2007, 09:13 PM
e-fiance, Grey.

Someone needs to take some RD history lessons! ;)
someone needs to take some hetero lessons oh burned wut nao

DarthAve
04-04-2007, 09:35 PM
...And you had a fiance.

Don't bash the fourteeners man.
He was the love of my life...

Too bad he was 21. And he was way to famous for me. He was on the doublefine news page, and a magazien and he was just rising while I sat and observed. I've finnally come to terms with it, and am proud of pawning my wedding dress.

Grey Master
04-04-2007, 09:48 PM
Where is Cheez btw???

@Dav: I meant how does Woodnote know about the Ave-KC thing if she/he just joined?

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-04-2007, 09:48 PM
cheez is dying his hair pink

DarthAve
04-04-2007, 09:52 PM
Where is Cheez btw???

@Dav: I meant how does Woodnote know about the Ave-KC thing if she/he just joined?
Get your histery right. It was Ave/PoopDog.

Grey Master
04-04-2007, 09:54 PM
It was????????????

I confuse all of your names if I don't write them down.....

Davinq
04-04-2007, 09:59 PM
Where is Cheez btw???

@Dav: I meant how does Woodnote know about the Ave-KC thing if she/he just joined?
Obviously she has taken her crash course in Ardee history.

@jmac: please try to post something funny.

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-04-2007, 10:06 PM
i wasnt being funny he seriously dyed his hair pink

Samnmax221
04-04-2007, 10:08 PM
@jmac: please try to post something funny.
NO U.

Halo_92
04-04-2007, 11:10 PM
Punanni

Rogue Nine
04-05-2007, 07:31 AM
YOU ARE MY HERO AVE, I BOW TO YOU!
Hey Grey Master, download any .mp3s lately?

Now Rogue Nine, I'm really confuzed. You're a high authority power here, being an Admin and all, and your being a jerk. I think you might be setting an example that new members may or may not start to follow. You're giving the example that it's ok here to be mean to other members. You and Jmac are making Davinq feel really bad (I know, he's constantly PMing me about how he wants me to get jmac banned.) and I think that you are setting a bad example. So FOR SHAME, Rogue Nine, FOR SHAME!
Setting a bad example? That's rich. In this lawless forum, what bad example isn't set? It's a giant cesspool of spam. When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Besides, someone needs to let Davinq know that he fails at the Internet. Sissy crybaby.

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-05-2007, 09:14 AM
oh snap messin with niner you gon get burnt HE IS THE LAW

i mean thrik is too but yeah you get the idea

Grey Master
04-05-2007, 09:53 AM
Hey Grey Master, download any .mp3s lately?

Monitoring my computer for your own purposes lately?

@jmac: I'll take Thrik as an admin anyday

Ray Jones
04-05-2007, 10:57 AM
What I don't get is, Davinq posted like a picture of the toothfairy telling us it's jmac, and is hurt now because Niner's pwnd him with the lil' Davinq picture or what? Hm.

Ave, I know you're all moddy now and whatnot so hoo-ray, but seriously, you should try not to rely too much on that or Thrik or I don't know what else. It's just not an admin's job to handle stuff like that, it's yours (as a moderator). And telling Rogue Nine he's giving a bad example is giving a good example for a bad idea, I mean really, have you ever thought about what it takes to become administrator at LF? At least PM stuff like that, next time.

I'd say you may want to try to keep your view and standpoint more objective, at least for the moderating part of your activities here.
I mean to sum it up: I see no flaming, really (and Davinq will get over things as soon as he had his first sex), I also see no porn :.( -- thus there's no need to stir things up unnecessary by waving the ban stick or the like for no reason.

As for the spam part, oh gee, who am I to call Niner a liar, especially if he's right? :PPP

Why I am no moderator beats me. Ou wait I am! I moderate all the Ray Joneses of LF. Yep. Every single one.

[edit]
Ray, may I remind you that coherent content in your posts does not hurt you. This is just a fair warning. Apropos, can you PM me those links again? I deleted them by accident.

[edit2]
Sure.

[edit3]
Cool.

[edit4]
:)

[edit5]
;)

[edit6]
This is you, Ray:

(?:{D)=K

I like that beard!

[edit7]
^^

[edit8]
:*

[edit9]
Don't spam, Ray!

Rogue Nine
04-05-2007, 05:57 PM
Monitoring my computer for your own purposes lately?
Naw, but the FBI and the RIAA sure are, Mr. "yay my Limewire works now and i can get music for free".

Ray, your internet is in the mail. <3

Grey Master
04-05-2007, 11:15 PM
Do you have a problem with me R9?
I understand what I did was not cool, I DID NOT KNOW AT THE TIME, THAT'S WHY I ASKED!

If this is going to become a personal problem, I rather leave than take anymore of this.

Rogue Nine
04-05-2007, 11:27 PM
You tried leaving, but you weren't very good at it.

And no, no problem here. Unless you make one. And I can't very well be held accountable for what happens then.

Grey Master
04-05-2007, 11:31 PM
Me neither, just a friendly reminder.

Moving on.

(btw, Joe brought me back, ask that crazy kid why)

Davinq
04-05-2007, 11:36 PM
Whoa... just realized you topped 1k posts Grey...

Pfft.

Samnmax221
04-05-2007, 11:38 PM
Whoa... just realized you topped 1k posts Grey...
Oh MYYY!!!!! I must post about dis!!!

KotO[REvan]
04-05-2007, 11:41 PM
Oh MYYY!!!!! I must post about dis!!!

Somehow, I find this post more worthy of posting about. ;)

Davinq
04-05-2007, 11:52 PM
Go back to the Star Wars forums where you belong, interloper.

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-05-2007, 11:55 PM
you suck at internets

Rogue Nine
04-06-2007, 12:00 AM
Go back to the Star Wars forums where you belong, interloper.
You want that to happen, then you should ride yo enamel spinnaz out of the Star Wars forums, rashface.

:spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz:

o wut nao

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-06-2007, 12:02 AM
<3 <3 <3 for niner <3 <3 <3

KotO[REvan]
04-06-2007, 12:03 AM
Go back to the Star Wars forums where you belong, interloper.

Oh yeah well...
Gah, you got me!
~cries and runs away~

[please sense the mocking and sarcasm in this post, ;o]

itchythesamurai
04-06-2007, 12:03 AM
I'm sticking with meatspin, thankyouverymuch.

Grey Master
04-06-2007, 12:12 AM
Dav thats not very nice of you.

Jae Onasi
04-06-2007, 12:13 AM
@Ray--shhh--we don't need to share Plan E with the chilluns. I want to save all the goodness for Jimbo and me. :D
Oh, OK, you can have The Goodness of Plan E with your love, too.

Don't worry, I have the Mother Radar for teh pr0n. People may try to hide it, but it calls to me like Orlando Bloom. :D

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-06-2007, 12:15 AM
:spinnaz:

wrap tin foil on them so it looks like they all chome'd out

Samnmax221
04-06-2007, 12:21 AM
:spinnaz:

wrap tin foil on them so it looks like they all chome'd out
While you're at it, don't forget to help the police. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkYDxW30vS4)

Miss_Mayhem
04-06-2007, 12:24 AM
Chromed!

*ahem*

A giant cesspool of spam? How 'bout ... a giant cesspool of comedic genius!?!?!?

. . . Naw, spam. It's what we're infamous for, and dammit, we're proud of it!

Samnmax221
04-06-2007, 12:25 AM
A giant cesspool of spam? How 'bout ... a giant cesspool of comedic genius!?!?!?
Rarely, mostly after you guys go to bed.

St. Jimmy
04-06-2007, 05:44 AM
I swear, Rougue Nine, is jmac.

Ray Jones
04-06-2007, 01:27 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v93/RayJones/chromespin.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v93/RayJones/chromespin.gif

"It's like fire when u c ma chome spin!"

DarthAve
04-06-2007, 01:38 PM
Go back to the Star Wars forums where you belong, interloper.
Davinq! Don't be cruel, we welcome anyone into our neck of the woods. Hello, I'm Avery, and I own a russian hat.

Samnmax221
04-06-2007, 03:03 PM
Davinq! Don't be cruel, we welcome anyone into our neck of the woods. Hello, I'm Avery, and I own a russian hat.
:spinnaz:Russia sucks and Dav suck too. :spinnaz:

Psychochaos3
04-06-2007, 03:13 PM
:spinnaz:Russia sucks and Dav suck too. :spinnaz:
The spinning teeth are memorizing.

:spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz:

DarthAve
04-06-2007, 03:37 PM
Russia may suck,

BUT THEIR HATS DON'T! My ushanka is keeping my head nice and warm.

Samnmax221
04-06-2007, 03:43 PM
:spinnaz:Ushanka's suck too.:spinnaz:

Halo_92
04-06-2007, 05:04 PM
AVE y8us musnet giva outtx youz namet tuo peplef on teh intrawebz.

milo
04-06-2007, 05:08 PM
Just go with the flow baby.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i298/milojmiles/chromespin.gifhttp://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i298/milojmiles/chromespin.gifhttp://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i298/milojmiles/chromespin.gifhttp://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i298/milojmiles/chromespin.gif

Halo_92
04-06-2007, 05:11 PM
AHHH!!

Samnmax221
04-06-2007, 05:21 PM
:spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz:

KILL YOUR PARENTS!

:spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz:

itchythesamurai
04-06-2007, 05:27 PM
While you're at it, don't forget to help the police. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkYDxW30vS4)

Now why does this post seem eerily familiar?

DarthAve
04-06-2007, 05:27 PM
BUT I LOVE MY MOMMY

Samnmax221
04-06-2007, 05:29 PM
Now why does this post seem eerily familiar?
oMFg!!11 iTzz NIOT leeik youous ownz eit1!!!!@!111

Halo_92
04-06-2007, 05:29 PM
:naughty:

Mace MacLeod
04-06-2007, 07:54 PM
[responsible parent mode]

Drugs, alcohol and weapons in school are a recipe for disaster. If any one of you know of someone in your class/school engaging in this sort of behaviour, chances are it's not a secret and there are plenty of other people who know about it as well, so you should ignore any (99% of the time) empty threats and report them to the teachers/administration staff immediately. You can do so anonymously, so you won't have the "tattletale" mark of shame hanging over you, and it's entirely possible that in getting the person caught and forcing them to confront their behaviour, you're doing them a much bigger favour than they'll know or be able to appreciate until they're back on track.

[/responsible parent mode]
[former complete juvenile delinquent mode]

Speaking as someone who went to school drunk, stoned and armed more times than I can possibly remember, I do have to say that I was a much bigger threat to myself than anyone else. I never hurt anyone, and even with the idiotic teenage gang stuff I was involved with, there was never any outright violence. High school is all about bluster and bluffing. Far more often than not, if you call someone on their threats and say something like, "Yeah, I told them you were snorting Drano in the bathroom during math class. So? What are you going to do about it?" they'll stand there not knowing what to do. Making threats is easy; carrying them out if a whole different kettle of fish entirely. Besides, anyone who goes to high school wasted probably has a lot more pressing things to worry about than a snitching classmate.

[/former complete juvenile delinquent mode]
[totally-inappropriate-for-a-family-forum storyteller mode]

Okay. In lieu of the funny/sexy story that Darth_Ave never got around to telling, here's a funny little incident that happened to me the other week. I'm posting it here because it'd probably get deleted if I put it anywhere else.

Now, a few of you know me from various other parts of LF and might know a bit about me but for those who don't, I recently moved back to Canada from Ireland about a month and a half ago. My wife and my teenage daughter are still in Ireland, and I came back first to set up car, house, job, etc in preparation for their arrival. Since I've been back, I've been staying with my parents (which in itself could be the subject of several pages of ranting) and saving up the cash for the movers and furniture and other assorted household knick-knacks we'll be needing, and towards this I work nights during the week. Yes, this shift sucks a fair amount of ass, but the money's good and the company's very professional.

Okay. So after I get back working, it doesn't take me too long to become a regular at a couple of the neighborhood bars. Since being back, I've been meeting up with old friends, making new ones, and basically enjoying reestablishing my life and social circles in Canada. One minor problem arises however. My wife is still in Ireland. Guess what that means. Yup. No...shall we say, marital relations. None. For a month and a half now. And a couple of months to go. Now, I've done the whole dateless, single, not-getting-laid thing, and I didn't like it the first time. That's why I got married. Now, when you're used to frequent...ahem, marital relations, going without for long stretches makes you rather tense. Not to mention vulnerable to hottie waitresses. Now, I will say in total truthfulness, I have never cheated on my wife. However. In the course of making new friends, one of the afore-mentioned hottie waitresses and I get to chatting soon after my arrival. She's a very outgoing sort, and over the next several weeks chatty leads to friendly, friendly leads to flirty, flirty leads to innocently cuddly, innocently cuddly leads to not-quite-so-innocently cuddly, and this final stage leads to a completely sloshed Mace MacLeod staggering back home at 2am one night after all the blood has been diverted from his brain to regions rather lower. No damage done though; marital vows still intact, guilt factor minimal. But danger is clearly on the horizon.

Next afternoon. I don't do mornings (working till 2am during the week), so it's afternoon. I'm sitting down with my mom and dad at the kitchen table and we're all eating lunch. Well, they're eating lunch, I'm guzzling Coke and waiting for the Tylenols to kick in. My coat from the previous evening is still on the back of my chair, and as I get up to put it away, I discover my brand-new cellphone has been shut off. Hmm. I put the coat away and sit back down, turning my phone on the check the messages. Before my finger touches the button, the most noteworthy thing going on is the glob of mustard that's been stuck to my dad's cheek for the last five solid minutes. Then I turn the phone on. Do I have messages? Oh boy, do I ever. The thing is, I just bought the damn phone and I'm still trying to figure out how everything works. Like, for example, how to turn off the message alert function, which has decided to announce every single message I've got with a loud obnoxious noise.

*BEEP* "Huh? Oh, it's...uh...a friend of mine from the bar. No no, the message came in last night." (message one: Hottie Waitress standing fully clothed in her bedroom, taking pictures on her camera phone)
*BEEP* "Uh...no, no, I'm looking for the submenu which turns that off...what? No, I haven't talked to (Mrs MacLeod) yet this week..." (message two: Waitress is no longer fully clothed; shirt is now on floor)
*BEEP* Mace is trying to remain nonchalant while parents munch away on their sandwiches "What? No, that's...uh...a guy I work with. We're planning on heading to (sports bar) to watch the Canucks game tonight." (message three: bra has joined shirt, Mace's blood starts making plans to head south)
*BEEP* Mace is now regretting wearing a bathrobe downstairs "Erm...uh...no no no, I don't need any help with my phone. Yeah it's annoying me too..." (message four: articles of clothing are now few and far between on Hottie Waitress)
*BEEP* ...

I think you can see where this is going. After the sixth or seventh, it was getting harder and harder to ignore so I turned the phone off. It would've been kind of awkward to explain to my parents why a woman who's very obviously not their daughter-in-law is doing a striptease act on my cellphone.

18 pictures. Now scrubbed from my phone.

and burned onto a dvd with a musical score. Shh.

[/totally-inappropriate-for-a-family-forum storyteller mode]

St. Jimmy
04-06-2007, 08:15 PM
^You...... lucky lucky man..

Mace MacLeod
04-06-2007, 08:32 PM
^^Heh heh...no luck involved, dude. It's like anything else in life: the more you do it, the better at it you become.

St. Jimmy
04-06-2007, 08:37 PM
Tru true. What I really admire is that you didn't cheat on your wife..

Mace MacLeod
04-06-2007, 09:21 PM
^^Heh...check back next week....

martmeister
04-06-2007, 11:25 PM
If you don't want her Mace, send her down South to me.

Jeff
04-07-2007, 12:06 AM
:spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz:

everybodys doin it man

Poopdogjr
04-07-2007, 12:32 AM
The power of the teeth compel you!

DarthAve
04-07-2007, 12:44 AM
Sombody tell me why Davinq's teeth are now an official LF smilie?

Samnmax221
04-07-2007, 12:45 AM
Sombody tell me why Davinq's teeth are now an official LF smilie?
Niner was trying to be a good role model, you can go to hell.

St. Jimmy
04-07-2007, 02:05 AM
Sombody tell me why Davinq's teeth are now an official LF smilie?
Actually, that's not a bad idea... I reckon we should petition for that to happen or something. That would be cool to have an official LF smile.

Davinq
04-07-2007, 03:17 PM
Make me feel better [or worse?] about getting runner-up for best smile yearbook award.

Aw hell:

http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m293/davinq/Aintgotnogrillzbutistillgotbraces.gif

Psychochaos3
04-07-2007, 04:19 PM
w00t! ! st4rt3d 4 f4d.

:spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz:

Davinq
04-07-2007, 08:12 PM
Actually, that's not a bad idea... I reckon we should petition for that to happen or something. That would be cool to have an official LF smile.
I'll try to keep optimistic about this. :/
Actually, this whole thing is pretty funny, despite the fact that my mouth is now all over RD.

itchythesamurai
04-07-2007, 08:57 PM
It's not like your mouth hasn't been around before, Davinq. Puh-lease.

Davinq
04-07-2007, 10:21 PM
LOL.

Wait.

What?

Commander Obi-Wan
04-07-2007, 11:04 PM
http://64.20.36.214/lucasforums.com/images/smilies/2eofjpf.gifhttp://64.20.36.214/lucasforums.com/images/smilies/2eofjpf.gifhttp://64.20.36.214/lucasforums.com/images/smilies/2eofjpf.gif

BLEH!

http://64.20.36.214/lucasforums.com/images/smilies/2eofjpf.gifhttp://64.20.36.214/lucasforums.com/images/smilies/2eofjpf.gifhttp://64.20.36.214/lucasforums.com/images/smilies/2eofjpf.gif

St. Jimmy
04-07-2007, 11:44 PM
I'll try to keep optimistic about this. :/
Actually, this whole thing is pretty funny, despite the fact that my mouth is now all over RD.
FREAKING LOL. WEll your the first person to have this happen to them. Consider it an honour.. They're just freaking pulling people over from the Ahto now. Lol.

St. Jimmy
04-08-2007, 12:26 AM
DUDE! YOUR TEETH ARE IN THE OFFICIAL SMILEY LIST UNDER :spinnaz : <(with no space) look! :spinnaz:

itchythesamurai
04-08-2007, 02:02 AM
:spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz:

KILL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND RIDE THEIR CORPSES LIKE A CAROUSEL!

:spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz:

Ray Jones
04-08-2007, 04:42 AM
Without space?

:spinnaz:

Nah. It ain't working. :dozey:


Oh, wait. Now it is - :spinnaz:


Greatness. XD

So. Hum. Und nu?

Ah.



:spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz:
:spinnaz:OBEY!:spinnaz:
:spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz:

Psychochaos3
04-08-2007, 10:27 AM
:spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz:
:spinnaz:EUGENE SMITH!!!!:spinnaz:
:spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz:

Davinq
04-08-2007, 02:21 PM
DUDE! YOUR TEETH ARE IN THE OFFICIAL SMILEY LIST UNDER :spinnaz : <(with no space) look! :spinnaz:
VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

Davinq
04-08-2007, 02:21 PM
:spinnaz:

Tight.

Wait... who did it?

Samnmax221
04-08-2007, 03:33 PM
Wouldn't you like to know.

Ray Jones
04-08-2007, 04:08 PM
We could lie about that?

Samnmax221
04-08-2007, 04:33 PM
But its more fun to hold it just out of reach (also fun with insulin).

Det. Bart Lasiter
04-08-2007, 04:36 PM
I feel proud that my smilie is easily one of the most used ones on this forum.

Ray Jones
04-08-2007, 04:40 PM
I feel proud that my smilie is easily one of the most used ones on this forum.
Yeah, and within one thread too. ^^

Miss_Mayhem
04-09-2007, 12:48 AM
@ Mace: yep, if you fee; like confessing misdeeds, this was obviously the best place ;D, I'm mod here, and 's'all coo'.

:spinnaz:

Awesome!

St. Jimmy
04-09-2007, 12:55 AM
:spinnaz: < Squee!


:spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: Got bling?

Miss_Mayhem
04-09-2007, 01:31 AM
Oh yeah fosho you no it to be tru!

:spinnaz: :spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz::spinnaz:

St. Jimmy
04-09-2007, 01:47 AM
Someone needs to design a text car with those for wheels..

martmeister
04-09-2007, 02:21 PM
^^^Great idea! I'm just bumping this so someone will.

Davinq
04-09-2007, 05:21 PM
:spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz: :spinnaz:

martmeister
04-09-2007, 11:29 PM
That is so not a car.

Samnmax221
04-09-2007, 11:31 PM
Nothing on this page is funny.

milo
04-10-2007, 12:35 AM
How bout now

http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/8011/jengaaaacm6.gif

M I DOIN IT RITE???

Davinq
04-10-2007, 01:28 AM
Nothing on this page is funny.
Yes it was, until you spoke up.

Samnmax221
04-10-2007, 01:52 AM
http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/8011/jengaaaacm6.gif

Thank you.
Yes it was, until you spoke up.
Oops, I guess your avatar is technically on the page, although that borders on rampant disgust.

Byakko
04-10-2007, 07:47 AM
I'm so confused...what the heck is this thread about now?!

martmeister
04-10-2007, 08:06 AM
Dav's smile/mouth/teeth. Get with it, yo!

(It was about real life experiences, but as usual, goes off-topic, which is coincidentally, the name of this forum.)

Davinq
04-10-2007, 12:56 PM
(It was about real life experiences, but as usual, goes off-topic, which is coincidentally, the name of this forum.)
Haha. Ironic.

Oops, I guess your avatar is technically on the page, although that borders on rampant disgust.
Eh? You're the one with the e-face that looks like the gay stalker that sits in a car just outside the school grounds and offers kids weed.

DarthAve
04-10-2007, 02:52 PM
Davinq. You're being a bitch, so stop annoying other people.

Davinq
04-10-2007, 02:59 PM
Yes miss mod ma'am.

Miss_Mayhem
04-10-2007, 09:47 PM
Are you trying to start a fight??? Oh yeah .... yeah you are ...

Samnmax221
04-10-2007, 11:04 PM
Are you trying to start a fight??? Oh yeah .... yeah you are ...
He tried but his accuracy fell 10 pt's because his eye's were full of tears.

JoeDoe 2.0
04-11-2007, 09:15 AM
Meh

Miss_Mayhem
04-11-2007, 10:22 PM
LOL Sammy, just LOL

Mace MacLeod
04-13-2007, 07:32 PM
If you don't want her Mace, send her down South to me.Heh heh...there's no shortage of punters within easy groping distance, I assure you. :hearteye:
@ Mace: yep, if you fee; like confessing misdeeds, this was obviously the best place ;D, I'm mod here, and 's'all coo'.Oh, I stick my head in here from time to time simply by virtue of it being one of the busiest forums in the LF net. RD is obviously zoned for kids and teenagers to act like, well, kids and teenagers so you'll understand why I generally don't have that much to say. No offence, but it's just not age-appropriate behaviour for a guy in his mid-30's, y'know?
What I really admire is that you didn't cheat on your wife..And luckily, Hottie Waitress du jour has been back east visiting people in Montreal. There's always this weekend, though... :dev11: I swear, her boobs get bigger every time I look at them. And I look at them a lot, so now they're really, really big...

I've resisted so far, but resolve is weakening.

Twins and I'll crack. Or two hot chicks. Fuh-getaboutit...

Samnmax221
04-13-2007, 07:46 PM
Heh heh...there's no shortage of punters within easy groping distance, I assure you. :hearteye:
You should lock yourself in a closet and pour self-hatred on yourself Dimmesdale style, it just might work.

martmeister
04-13-2007, 08:09 PM
I got up today and one of my tires was friggin' flat. Later today, I'm finishing up service on a laptop, check the time and my cell phone says it's a little bit after 4. I reckon about 15 mins pass when I get back into my car; it says it's 6:30. WTF!

Mace MacLeod
04-13-2007, 08:41 PM
You should lock yourself in a closet and pour self-hatred on yourself Dimmesdale style, it just might work.Meh. Self-hatred is rarely a useful mood-state. Besides, I was referring to the hordes of other patrons who'd chew their own legs off if it meant a shot at a certain waitress. The out-of-shape, inarticulate, uneducated, socially inept bozos who can't compete with my uber-l33t attractiveness, of course. Sucks to be them.

JoeDoe 2.0
04-13-2007, 09:36 PM
Everytime you see the twins, remember this picture, it helps

http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20061221/160_rosie_odonnell2_061221.jpg

I'm scarred for life
If that doesn't turn you down, you have a very SERIOUS problem.

Hallucination
04-13-2007, 11:23 PM
@ Mace: yep, if you fee; like confessing misdeeds, this was obviously the best place ;D, I'm mod here, and 's'all coo'.
Those words lose all meaning when uttered by a grade 8.

:spinnaz: