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View Full Version : Destruction of the Death Star was an inside job!


Servercat
04-15-2007, 07:32 PM
Proof inside! (http://www.websurdity.com/2007/02/28/uncomfortable-questions-was-the-death-star-attack-an-inside-job/)

Pretty funny and a rather scathing satire of 9/11 conspiracy buffs.

Darth Badguy
04-16-2007, 04:40 AM
mwuahaha this is funny...:D

urluckyday
04-16-2007, 04:58 PM
hm...maybe it's just me, but that's not all that funny.

Nancy Allen``
05-20-2007, 06:45 PM
Someone says the films are a political alagory and suddenly this type of stuff pops up. Can we expect to see a film on the avalibility of guns (even a 14 year old Twi'lek can get'em) in the near future?

jedispy
05-25-2007, 03:10 PM
Yes I get the point they are making. Although intended to not be taken seriously, I don't find that funny at all.
Answers to the questions:Answer: As one Imperial officer pointed out, the fighters were fast enough to evade the turbolaser targeting ability. You can't hit what you can't target. That's when they launched a few squadrons of TIEs. I can understand why the Imps wouldn't have launched EVERY TIE. The DS1 housed hundreds of them. There were only 30 rebel fighters. That would have been overkill. Also the Imps didn't yet know about the weakness in the station's exhaust system until after the Rebs had made an attack run or two. For all purposes the rebels should have lost. The one single thing the Imps didn't count on was a force sensitive pilot with force training. More on this later though.
Answer: Because he was a grizzled old man. How often in real life do we see older war veterans not wanting to look weak? Heck my wife's grandfather was a sniper in WW2 and has quite the collection of Japanese flags. He refuses to go to the doctor for anything outside of massive bleeding. He doesn't want to be told what to do. I suspect the same is true for Tarken, a clone war vet. Come on, he even had the b@ll5 to talk back to Darth Vader himself. That's one arrogant grizzled old man there. In truth the Empire's main weaknesses were their arrogance and overestimating the enemy.
Answer: Again the Imps overestimated the enemy. They didn't think that anyone would be so bold as to try to sneak onto the station. Plus having a Jedi Master among them probably helped out just a teencie bit.
Answer: No one knew it yet. Not even Vader or the Emperor knew it.
Answer: Darth Vader was the only one who understood the gravity of the situation. He was not going to underestimate the rebels. As a member of the upper management, he did was most officers wouldn't do, and took the matter into his own hands. As for his TIE being modified, it was actually the prototype for the TIE Avengers. He was merely beta testing.

Vader didn't fly away in the middle of the battle. He flew away after the battle was over. There was no Imperial fleet to speak of. The only things in space there were the remaining rebel fighters (something like 3 or so) the Millennium Falcon, the Death Star, planet Yavin, and it's numerous moons. After the Death Star was destroyed there were no other Imperial forces. Darth Vader's lone prototype TIE would not be any match against the remaining forces of the Rebels. All he could do was turn tail and run.
Answer: Luke had lots of training. Biggs called him the best pilot in the outer rim. That would have to include himself. An Incom T-16 skyhopper is very similar in control to an Incom T-65 X-Wing. Of course piloting a craft in microgravity (a.k.a. outer space) is vastly different than atmospheric flight. However X-wings also have astromechs that can help with many ship functions. In the story Shadows of the Empire, during the battle of Gall one of the astromechs takes full flight control of one of the Rebel x-wings. From this you can make the argument that exospheric flight control is assisted by the astromech. Finally Luke's strong force potential, mixed with his force training, would have accounted for any lack of military training.

As for firing a precise hit with a proton torpedo on a 2 meter ray shielded target, plus not using a targeting computer, it was the Force man. As Obi Wan pointed out, with the Force there is no such thing as luck.
Answer: No one knew that they were once owned by Vader. Vader never saw them on the Death Star, so he wouldn't have even known that. Droids are not alive, so they have no presence in the Force.
Answer: It was two torpedoes first of all. Second of all it's completely explained by horrible atari 64 animation on the Rebel base. The torpedo caused a chain reaction in the station's hypermatter reactor. If there were small explosions you can argue that they were coming from the other thermal exhaust ports along the surface of the Death Star.Of course this is all meant to just be a joke, so it's aight.

BigMike322
09-27-2007, 09:18 PM
good stuff

Mace MacLeod
09-28-2007, 06:32 AM
Too funny. :rofl:

Almost as funny as some of the responses...

lovesafron
11-24-2007, 01:23 AM
This whole idea comes from ancient vedas and mythilogy continue since long ago......

Serpentine Cougar
11-25-2007, 02:53 AM
Can we expect to see a film on the avalibility of guns (even a 14 year old Twi'lek can get'em) in the near future?

Uh, Mission Vao in KotOR...?

PoiuyWired
11-25-2007, 06:43 AM
Uh, Mission Vao in KotOR...?

She would not be a good example. By all means she is the sister of an Apprentice of THE Master of a Sith Lord!!!! :twogun:

Sam!
01-31-2008, 06:53 AM
ALL these questions being asked. Well I have something to say about ALL of them. Well, asking how a single figher could destroy a space station the size of a large moon. My answer is this. It's a movie, duh. The good guys have to win, it's just the way it goes, unless some mental-institution nut job goes and makes up a couple of movies where the bad guys just have to be victorious in the same way the good guys have to be victorious.

If the Death Star destroyed Yavin 4, eveyone would be like =O and go beat up George Lucas cos he let Darth Vader win. I think the last thing George Lucas wants to do is get into a fight. Well unless somebody's betting he'll win. But that's about the only reason. Get my drift?

jawathehutt
02-03-2008, 04:00 PM
Thats funny

DeathKnight23
02-04-2008, 04:49 AM
The Empire was in on its own destruction :xp:

DeadYorick
02-08-2008, 05:30 PM
Even Star Wars has conspiracy theories. Its inevitable