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leXX
12-21-2007, 09:45 AM
An iceberg didn't sink the Titanic, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it.

Lady Jedi
12-21-2007, 11:49 AM
Alright, the Chuck Norris thread is not a new idea, but that doesn't mean that it's a bad one. So instead of this turning into a gigantic copy/paste thread, let's go by a guideline or two.

1) Only one or two Chuck Norris "facts" per post. No copy and pasting a huge list that you've had for oh so long.

2) And in answer to the next question: No you may not type your huge list, just to get around the copy/paste rule. :p

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

BongoBob
12-21-2007, 12:10 PM
Come on people, Chuck Norris jokes are so last year :rolleyes:

:p

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.

IG-64
12-21-2007, 12:21 PM
I'm just gonna say this: Ron Paul may have all of the internets, but Mike Huckabee has Chuck Norris, so that's why he's winning.

Oh, and my favorite:

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Acrylic
12-21-2007, 12:44 PM
My favorite one is:

Chuck Norris is Kjølen's dad.

Oh wait... o_o

TiE23
12-21-2007, 12:55 PM
In the beginning God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris then said, "Say please."

Tyrion
12-21-2007, 01:20 PM
In the beginning God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris then said, "Say please."

You loser, I was going to say that.

Chuck Norris does not read. He stares a book down until it gives him the information he wants.

leXX
12-21-2007, 05:09 PM
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

RoxStar
12-21-2007, 06:22 PM
When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

MrWally
12-21-2007, 06:43 PM
Last year scientists discovered that Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.

Unfortunately, Chuck Norris never cries.

Det. Bart Lasiter
12-21-2007, 09:40 PM
http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200708/r165820_615142.jpg

SPOILERS: CHUCK NORRIS DIES BRUCE LEE FO' LYFE

Chase Windu
12-21-2007, 11:36 PM
-Chuck Norris doesn't check his closet for the Boogie Man. The Boogie Man checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

-A gun sleeps with Chuck Norris under it's pillow.

-Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and made Amelia Earhart disappear while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

-Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Hallucination
12-22-2007, 12:39 AM
Secretly, all women dream they're sleeping with Chuck Norris when they have sex. Their partners know it, but they don't mind 'cause they're doing the same thing.

Chase Windu
12-22-2007, 12:57 AM
Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Samnmax221
12-22-2007, 10:42 AM
I never liked Chuck Norris jokes when they were just another simple stupid internet phenomenon. Unfortunately it had to trickle down until ever douche bag and his step-mom were spouting them.

MrWally
12-23-2007, 12:20 AM
Chuck Norris sues over "The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human" (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071222/wr_nm/norris_lawsuit_dc)


Gotta say, I can definitely understand why he did it.

Lightsaberboy
12-23-2007, 01:03 AM
he didn't seem to mind when he was on here:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7l5lyB28z4o

leXX
12-23-2007, 02:08 PM
Chuck Norris really is invincible! (http://youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA)

So funny.

Lorden Darkblade
12-23-2007, 11:34 PM
I'm just gonna say this: Ron Paul may have all of the internets, but Mike Huckabee has Chuck Norris, so that's why he's winning.

Oh, and my favorite:

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.


When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.


These are my favorite ones!!!
The first time I saw the Chuck Norris phrases I remember I couldn't catch my breath cuz I was laughing so hard!!!

Chase Windu
12-24-2007, 12:32 AM
http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200708/r165820_615142.jpg

SPOILERS: CHUCK NORRIS DIES BRUCE LEE FO' LYFE
Maybe he pretends to be dead but waits to make his move when Bruce Lee has his back turned.

IG-64
12-24-2007, 06:03 AM
Well, see, Chuck Norris was dead in the movie. In real life, Chuck Norris is not really dead, and Bruce Lee is -- well... you know.

In fact, in real life, Chuck Norris is actually immortal. Throughout the eons he has traveled the universe. A little known fact about Chuck Norris is that he was actually Luke Skywalker.

http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/3765/lukenorrisan7.jpg

No really, it's true.

Vikinor
01-19-2008, 10:58 PM
This brings back bad Barrens memories. Also, leXX, have you heard the song about the cake being a lie?

Rogue15
01-19-2008, 11:31 PM
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's

jon_hill987
01-20-2008, 08:53 AM
Chuck Norris was originally considered for the lead role in 24. But after killing all of the terrorists in 12 minutes and 43 seconds the producers decided to go for someone else.

Tinny
01-20-2008, 09:50 AM
Dude IG, that pic is hilarious.

Black Knight of Keno
01-20-2008, 03:00 PM
There once was a 24 season where Jack Bauer died. Chuck Norris saw the preview and roundhouse kicked the season to the next millenia

Tinny
01-20-2008, 04:31 PM
Chuck Norris was trained by Bruce Lee, Bruce Lee was trained by a time traveling Chuck Norris.

tk102
02-01-2008, 06:37 PM
Try this:
http://img115.imageshack.us/img115/5577/96341929hp1.jpg

topshot
02-01-2008, 07:46 PM
Kryptonite is Superman's weakness. Chuck Norris laughs at Superman for having such a weakness.

DeadYorick
02-01-2008, 08:57 PM
When Chuck Norris does pushups he doesn't push himself up he pushes the world down

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood he doesn't ask for a syringe he asks for a handgun and a bucket

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Look at this. This is my favorite Family Guy skit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb_6hzXBbec

Hallucination
02-01-2008, 11:49 PM
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

narfblat
02-06-2008, 02:14 AM
Kryptonite is Superman's weakness. Chuck Norris laughs at Superman for having such a weakness.
Chuck Norris's weakness is the absence of plate glass windows to roundhouse kick people through. :p