View Full Version : RE: Yoda da wookie ... with vanilla

01-05-2008, 07:11 PM
Yoda da Wookiee
Ever since 1980 when we first saw a little creature that, when having a blaster pointed at his head by Luke Skywalker, responded by covering his face and pleading, “Away put your weapon, I mean you no harm,” many Star Wars fans, and even people who don’t like Star Wars, have had a fascination with the popular character known as Yoda. Especially in the recent days of the Star Wars novels, games, comics, websites such as TheForce.net and StarWars.com, and much more; when a Star Wars fan wants to know something about a character or species, the information is available, and in such a supply to satisfy much if not all of the most avid fans. Yet, one of the most popular characters, especially since the release of Attack of the Clones, is always so mysterious. After all the time since the release of Empire Strikes Back, we have never discovered the species of Yoda. No matter how hard you look, the information is just not there. At least, it is not out there directly, where you can just look at something that will tell you. However, if you sort through the facts, you can figure out that all the evidence that you need is right there. After all, some of the best things about Star Wars are the things that you have to discover for yourself.
The problem in searching for Yoda’s species is that we have all been going about it the wrong way. We have been trying to find more creatures that look like Yoda, and we have been waiting for George Lucas to reveal the information. What has finally yielded the truth was in looking not at Yoda as he is, but trying to figure out how he was. “When reach 900, look as good, you will not, hmmm.” Yoda was an old man. A lot can change over so much time, especially under the effect of the force. Yes, that does include the light side of the force. We can trace back how Yoda once was by looking at such features as his hair, speech, and temperament. Even that he chose Dagobah to hide on supports our belief. When we analyze all the facts, we can conclude, with only a small margin of error, that Yoda is a heavily mutilated Wookiee.
This discovery was stumbled on by complete accident. It actually began mostly as a joke. We later found some evidence to support it, and it became a theory. It had to be modified once in light of new evidence, but then all the evidence we found supported our claim. It all began about a year ago, when several Star Wars fans, who were impatiently awaiting the release of Attack of the Clones, where talking about Yoda. We had heard that Yoda was going to have his first fight since the one with Artoo in the upcoming film, and where very intrigued by the idea. At some point, someone made a joke that Yoda was once a regular human, but had been mutilated by the force. The joke also involved him turning green because of his green lightsaber, his lightsaber turning into a gimer stick, and Mace Windu someday turning into a little purple Yoda. However, at the time, as I said, it was just a joke. However, a couple of months ago, we discovered that it is possible for a person to be mutilated by the light side of the force. This was the beginning of a rudimentary theory. We of course left out the gimer stick, lightsaber, and purple Windu stuff; but we proposed that Yoda might have been a human once. A little while later, we thought, why a human? Couldn’t he be any species? Then we started looking for evidence, and found signs that pointed towards him having once been a Wookiee. During the last month or so, we have been finding more and more evidence that supported the Wookiee theory. So now, we have decided to attempt to publicize our discovery, complete with the evidence that we found to support it.
Despite popular belief, it is possible for the light side of the force to mutilate a person’s body, same as the dark side did to Palpatine. The instant reaction is to try to reject this theory, on the grounds that the light side of the force is all about preserving life. However, the effects of the force on the force-user are a sacrifice made by the Jedi in order to allow them to use the force to help others, to utilize the light side. We can site evidence where this is shown. A classic example is in the expanded universe book Star by Star by Troy Denning. It describes a scene where a seventeen-year-old Anakin Solo is part of a Jedi strike team on a Yuuzhan Vong worldship. He is badly wounded and endangering the rest of the strike team. Also, he needs to buy them time so they can get away. In order to protect his friends, siblings, and fellow Jedi; he draws in as much of the light side of the force into his body as he possibly can. Then, on page 477, it reads, “His aura flickered wildly as his cells began to burn and burst.” The light side of the force was killing him. Eventually, however, he helps the strike team, stops a conflict threatening to make the mission to save hundreds of Jedi a failure, and becomes one with the force. These are all light side behaviors, and there are no grounds for a claim that he turned to the dark side. He was just an apprentice, however, and Yoda was one of the greatest Jedi masters of all times. That is why, instead of killing him, it only mutilated him. Another example is Anakin Skywalker. It is said that in episode 3, Anakin falls into a volcano, which is what requires him to have all the metal components. However, we cannot be sure that all of the components where added. He falls in, has to use massive amounts of light side energy to preserve his life, and manages to survive. Suppose parts of the electrical and mechanical enhancements where actually mutilations that are part of his body. The exposure to the volcano could have had a part in shaping that particular mutilation. Obi-Wan also seems to have been mutilated to a lesser extent. He seems to be at least 60 or 70 in A New Hope. Yet, he is only 50.
There is also evidence that Yoda himself was mutilated as well. Yoda once said, “How you get so big eating food of this kind?” Yoda knows that he is only 18 inches tall, and that Luke is 60 something inches tall. He also knows that they prefer different food. Therefore, different food should imply that Luke would most likely be much larger. That is, unless he once grew big eating food of his kind. Wookiees are one of the species that are taller than humans. More evidence that supports that Yoda is being mutilated, is how he changes over the episodes. The odds are he would not change that quickly under natural circumstances, especially considering that he was over 800 in Phantom Menace.
One thing we can look at to see how Yoda once was is his hair. His hair gives us enormous insight into how he once looked. We can see between each episode that he is losing hair at an alarming rate. If we trace this backwards, we can discover that he must have had a lot of hair to start off with. Also, his hair gets lighter and lighter each episode, so he must have started with a lot of dark hair. Another piece of evidence that pertains to his hair, involves the scene where he dies. When Obi-Wan dies, we see his robe fall to the floor. Yet when Yoda dies, his clothes disappear with him. The only way this is really possible, is if his clothes where actually a part of his body. Our theory is that when he was being mutilated, his fur fused together, separated from his body, and formed his clothes. Thus making his “clothes” actually a part of his body.
Another thing we can look at to see what species Yoda is how he talks. When discussing his speech, we have to keep in mind that Yoda’s vocal cords have also been mutilated. This is what enables him to speak Basic. However, he obviously does not use the normal syntax. It is most likely that is from a different language. Shyriiwook is a very real possibility. The languages are so different that most species cannot speak Shyriiwook, and most, if not all, of those who can, can’t speak basic. Therefore, changing vocal cords would force him to change languages. If he where to just change the words, that would account for the incorrect syntax. We don’t really know how Shyriiwook syntax works, so it is possible that it is the same as how Yoda talks. In fact, we don’t even have subtitles to go off of for anything in Shyriiwook. I’m sure you have noticed the odd humming sound that Yoda makes. This is also remnant of the Shyriiwook language. He is trying to make the Wookiee sounds, but is failing due to the mutilated vocal cords. In another instance, we hear him growl at Dooku, very similar to a Wookiee growl.
If you notice two very different scenes, and then think about, you kind find an interesting relationship between them. One of these scenes is when Chewie growls at a mouse droid and scares it away. This demonstrates Wookiee intimidation, which is also scene elsewhere in the films. The other scene includes one of the most chilling quotes in all Star Wars. After Luke discovers that the little green alien is a Jedi master, he tells him that he is not afraid. Yoda responds in a dark voice, “You will be, you will be.” This is also very intimidating. You see, Yoda even acts like a Wookiee. We often see both Chewbacca and Yoda making fun of people. Chewbacca laughs at Han when Leia calls him a scruffy looking nerf herder, and Yoda seems to mock Luke’s progress in his training. Another interesting aspect of his behavior is in his fight with Dooku. It seems that if he pressed the attack low, that it would be difficult to block, yet Yoda is always trying to find the high ground. Possibly because he is accustomed to being taller and attacking from above?
The Wookiee theory is also supported by where Yoda chose to hide. He chose a place that was dark, secluded, had lots of trees to climb on (though he is not the climber he once was due to the mutations), and very full of life. This is very similar to Kashyyyk. The main difference is that Kashyyyk is a very civilized world with a lot of technology. However, Yoda could not pick such a planet, because a civilized world would have people, and he was hiding out. The reason why Obi-Wan was able to hide out on Tatooine, is because he looks just like any other human. Yoda, however, had no one else who looked like him because the rest of his species where Wookiees. He could not choose a forest world because they are easily inhabitable, increasing the chance of him being discovered. No one would have any interest in a slimy mud hole like Dagobah, so it was the closest planet to Kashyyyk that he could go to.
Even the age thing is appropriate. Chewie had his kid at the age of about 200. The average human has a kid from around 20-30. This projects to the average Wookiee lifespan as being about 600-800. However, that is based on the human lifespan of 80. Some people live to be older than that, 90+; therefore, an age of 900 can be easily rationalized, if you accept that Yoda was an old man. He seems to die by disease brought on by old age, so the claim is legitimate. With this evidence, there seems to be a powerful claim that Yoda is in fact a heavily mutated Wookiee.

There you have it, that proves that Yoda is a Wookie, although...
No i really dont think vanilla coke is that good. its alright but the sweetnes is way too much. You see vanilla coke i say was once a cookie, notice how each bottle you buy is a little ligther so it must of started off cookie dark, and each bottle is a little less cruncy, meaning it musta been really crunchy 900 years ago. Also when you finish a bottle you throw it in the trash and it all disappears unlike coke where just most of it dissappears. Dont forget the shrinking of the ears... old people shrink like that. and 900 years of shrinkage leaves a lot of shrinking to do... anyways to conclude my point. Everything that doesnt explode we pay little and probably no attention to. thats just how the american public is now, with all the violence in tv and movies and video games.
I would have to partly agree, but I would like to add that in Star Wars Episode 3 in one of the scene we can see Yoda drinking a container of liquid.. the container looks strikingly familiar... almost like a can of Vanilla coke. Therefore we MUST conclude that vanilla coke was actually created by George Lucas and that Yodas deformation could be attributed to his excessive intake of vanilla coke.

01-05-2008, 07:19 PM
There you have it, that proves that Yoda is a Wookie, although...

I would have to partly agree, but I would like to add that in Star Wars Episode 3 in one of the scene we can see Yoda drinking a container of liquid.. the container looks strikingly familiar... almost like a can of Vanilla coke. Therefore we MUST conclude that vanilla coke was actually created by George Lucas and that Yodas deformation could be attributed to his excessive intake of vanilla coke.

Well. Carbonation in general was Mr. Lucas' invention really. Its all proved by the second grade science experiment someone in your class always does. Puts one of her or his lost tooth into different cups of soda to demonstrate the destructivness of it all. This is just like that. The vanilla coke ... well coke in general allways destroyed the tooth quickest. It IS his greatest accomplishment and naturally would want to show it in his most popular movies. Showing off in a most subtle way without risking the damage of public opinions knowledge of this.

EDIT: so yes, in conclusion you are correct vanilla coke is and always will be the demise of a wookie.
EDIT: Also explains why yoda is not unique in his condition. So not a genetical deformation, but chemical.

01-06-2008, 01:50 AM
Very interesting theory. You have to remember that these are just assumptions as of yet. There are some things that don't make sense though, such as in KotOR 1 Master Vandar, is this implying that he was a 'wookie' too? Or is this just Yoda that we are talking about? There are several other things too, I just at the moment can't think of them because it is late... Wookiepedia has another theory, but is shrouded in mystery...
Wookiepedia on Yoda (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Yoda)
I am in no way saying that this isn't real, there just needs to be more evidence. And GL saying that Yoda is a Wookie! :p

01-22-2008, 10:56 AM
Wow, i can't believe this post actually surfaced again... Shok_Tinoktin, myself, and another one of our friends came up with that theory several years back and posted that under jediduck_1138.... i thought i changed that account name to this one... but maybe not... Amazing.:D