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1jrJedismom
02-21-2008, 12:58 AM
There are consequences for everything even after we die. I once knew a man that had a affair. He was having great fun untill the wife foud out. He stayed with his girlfriend and her husband for a short time. Then one night, he came into work and told me his wife was leaving. His step daughter had come to say good bye. She packed all the kids in the car and went back to her family in another state. He said that if she left, he would committe suicide. They left the next day and so did he. So, I had the consequence of guilt, I didnt stop him. His mom and dad the consequence of finding his body strung up in the garage. Im not sure his girlfriend felt any thing at all. She came by work looking for his final check. So, he lost it all for a woman that just wanted the money. Heck of a consequence. (she didnt get the check)

This is one regretable consequence that I have not forgotten. I regret not doing more. I know I am not responsible, but I could have tried harder.

True_Avery
02-21-2008, 01:29 AM
I have no idea what I just read.

1jrJedismom
02-21-2008, 02:22 AM
It is just a reminder that what we do has a consequence and that more often then not we don't take the time to even think about what they are or if they exist. I know in my life I have seldom done so. Have you? Do you have regrets?

Ray Jones
02-21-2008, 02:34 AM
So and how do you know things would be better if you had stopped him? And how would things have been better?

1jrJedismom
02-22-2008, 12:54 AM
He would still be alive. Maybe, with time and some counseling, he could have forgiven himself for what he did to his family. But, we will never know. He took that final solution. Do you ever think about the consequences about something, before or after the fact, and how you could do things differently? Have you thought how you could either avoild an undesired out come or learning for the future? What would you do?

Ray Jones
02-22-2008, 03:54 AM
He would still be alive. Maybe, with time and some counseling, he could have forgiven himself for what he did to his family. But, we will never know. He took that final solution. Do you ever think about the consequences about something, before or after the fact, and how you could do things differently? Have you thought how you could either avild an undesired out come or learning for the future?I have a strong sense for causality. And that is posing the question, how do you know that man would not go and kill his whole family instead of just himself?


What would you do?Buddha says, "Too much tension will break the string, but if it's too less, you can't play it either."

1jrJedismom
02-22-2008, 01:05 PM
His family had already left the state. When he told me he was going to kill him self if they left, It was if they left. So, he didnt do it untill they were gone. But other wise, I dont know what he would have done, that is true.

I do know about tension, I think that at some point in everyones life, They reach a point that tests their limits. You just dont know when or what that tension(s) will be. It always helps if you have a good support system, but not everyone does.

One the lighter side, the consequence of your server, at the restaraunt, spilling a glass of milk in you lap is. . . . Free Pie! Happened last night. It was quite tasty.

Arcesious
02-22-2008, 04:44 PM
the stupidest thing i've ever doen in my life was when i was in 4th grade. I was 'best friends' with the class troublemaker, who was a 6th grader. He had Yu-gi-oh cards. I was obsessed with card game crap liek that at the time. I bought a few crappy cards from him for 60$... what I gullible person i was at that age. I would believe anything he told me. If he said the moon was made of cheese, I would have believed him at that time. I extremely regret how gullible and naive I was as a child.

Balderdash
02-22-2008, 04:57 PM
I have a strong sense for causality. And that is posing the question, how do you know that man would not go and kill his whole family instead of just himself?Sounds like something Kreia would say in TSL. It's a philosophy I can respect.

the stupidest thing i've ever doen in my life was when i was in 4th grade. I was 'best friends' with the class troublemaker, who was a 6th grader. He had Yu-gi-oh cards. I was obsessed with card game crap liek that at the time. I bought a few crappy cards from him for 60$... what I gullible person i was at that age. I would believe anything he told me. If he said the moon was made of cheese, I would have believed him at that time. I extremely regret how gullible and naive I was as a child.I would not put that down to merely your age, if anything. I mean, if you go through the rest of your life without doing anything more gullible than that, then you're doing extremely goddamn well for yourself, lets be honest.

1jrJedismom
02-23-2008, 01:18 AM
I bought a few crappy cards from him for 60$... what I gullible person i was at that age. I would believe anything he told me.

To be gullible in the 4th grade is Innocence. If we were Hard and untrusting at that age, it would be a shame. But, it is a time of learning and we do. Some lessons are harder them others. Of course, I would hope that not all trust is lost along the way. Let us hope that we trust a good friend enough for a good prank to happen once in a while.

Ray Jones
02-23-2008, 04:39 AM
I do know about tension, I think that at some point in everyones life, They reach a point that tests their limits. You just dont know when or what that tension(s) will be. It always helps if you have a good support system, but not everyone does.Oh, that saying wasn't so much about tension. I think, it's more about proper tuning of string instruments.

I would have believed him at that time. I extremely regret how gullible and naive I was as a child.I'd say the only thing to regret is that you gave 60 bucks for a bunch of cards instead of buying LEGOs for it, and not that this boy taught you a rather valuable lesson.

Buddha says, "To know who you are, look at what you did. To know who you gonna be, look at what you do."

XDDD

Pho3nix
02-23-2008, 06:26 AM
I guess my biggest mistake so far has been to lose a friend (literally, he died a year ago in a car crash) because of a girl.

Ray Jones
02-23-2008, 07:27 AM
Manerly friendship rule #7 - when your hombre's girl acts in on you, call your him to come over immediately, double team her all night and then send her away with the words "don't call us, we call you!" Then have breakfast with burgers and beer.

Jae Onasi
02-24-2008, 01:02 AM
he told me he was going to kill him self if they left, It was if they left.
Did the rest of the family force him to kill himself? I don't think so. Did you? I don't think so. He made that choice, and only him. No one else tied that rope but him. He's the one, and only the one, who chose to end his life instead of getting help, taking proper meds, or whatever else he needed to do to get his brain back in the right spot. He's also the one who chose to selfishly ignore the consequences that his act would have on those who survived him.

Ray--that is the crappiest piece of advice I've seen in a long time. ;P

1jrJedismom
02-24-2008, 02:00 AM
He's also the one who chose to selfishly ignore the consequences that his act would have on those who survived him.

That is exactly my point. He was so wrapped up in his own pain that he ignored the consequences to everyone he left behind. His parents, his friends, maybe his wife and kids when they heard. He was gone and didnt have to deal with it. But some of us years after the fact still remember. I have no guilt for what he did, that was his choise, but when I do think about it, it leaves me a little sad.

Now, I have to think about the consequences I would face if I went for that second piece of pie left over from the milk in lap fiasco. I wont think about it too long though.

Jvstice
02-24-2008, 02:34 AM
I don't think you could have predicted something like that.

Learn from it. Grow stronger. Learn how to spot warning signs and to offer people close to you moral support and appreciation before it gets to that point. Maybe even apply what you learn in other ways to make future situations turn out better by being better informed about how to deal with such a situation if you're ever faced with something similar.

I don't see how you did anything wrong though. There is such a thing as survivor's guilt, and that's something you'll have to work through if you haven't, but there's plenty to decide you'd do differently in life without borrowing trouble. You can make yourself miserable constantly second guessing yourself.

Ray Jones
02-25-2008, 02:53 AM
that is the crappiest piece of advice I've seen in a long timeGranted, burgers and beer sounds a bit like cliché, OK.

But after a night full of sex, and after having to send your girlfriend away, breakfast with burgers and beer is still short of Playstation and weed. Thank god, that issue has been covered with manerly friendship rule #11.

^^