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View Full Version : bedtime story...well this is what came out:


NiKo
08-12-2001, 02:29 PM
...once upon a time, in a land far far away, lived a small deformed freak of nature named thomas. Thomas loved runing around naked thrue the , but this one day got him in trouble, when his "mr wiggles" got stuck in a locals @ss. the local was so shocked, that he got vegetealized at the spot.so thomas decided to Search for his lost brother.He couldn't find him so he went to church to confess that he was the one that had been f*cking the local chickens.The priest just stared at him in disbelief and said "i'l give you 2 cents and a pickle if you blow me".Fellas insisted he'd blow him for free.So a while later fellas came out a new man.He rang up the whole town and told them of what happened at the church.Minutes later an angry mob headed to thomas's home, were his mom cate and brother bob lived. the mob blew out the door and shouted "Fellas family DIE"!.The mob came in and wrecked the house.They beat bob and kate up and tied them together,they tossed them on the fire and watched them burn.THomas managed to escape luckly.Thomas fled town and made a run for a bully's house that gave him wedgies and stole his milk money every day. but thomas concidered him a friend. this "friends" name was jonathan carter, as thomas knocked on the door to carters home .....*POW* Carter smashed his lights out.Fellas was out cold,jonathan fianlly got the oppotunity to do what he always had wanted to do to fellas,jonathan brought fellas into his room and locked the door. Carter said:"Now,take your ugly face away from me,or I'll blow your ****ing head off!"Then,he pointed at him with a big flame thrower.Thomas ran out of the window,glad to be alive.He turned around a corner,and then he saw A naked woman,fellas ran covering his eyes.He ran all the way to gaysville and saw loads of lovely nice men stripping.Fellas stayed there and watched for a good 12 hours,before realising that he wasn't gay,he was SUPER gay.He went around in the streets looking for other gays that wanted a blowjob.Suddenly something strange happened. a homeless gay hippy held him tightly and asked Fellas for a bedroom visit,but when he saw his face,he screamed and ran away.Fellas pretended he was playing monkey island in real life.So he went up to a man and chose the option ''use mr wiggles with man'' but the man didn't want to,and knocked Fellas down.Thomas screamed:"Hey,my brother will get revenge! so thomas danced a d*ckless jig and laughed...just then he was run over by a truck and got knocked over to the docks. where he though of borrowing a ship.He tapped a ship owner on the back.And seconds later the man had fled leaving his boat in the arms of fellas.Fellas had a good idea where he wanted to sail,it was beautiful out in the sea.Suddenly,a German destroyer came and thre captain climbed out on deck and said. "Aha, vot is thiz, a new Hitler, nein. Heil Fellas!" but then an english war ship came and shot everyone in sight, except Fellas. They pulled Fellas out of the water, and put him on a one way ticket to hell, where he was greeted by NiKo, who said "are you a pothead fellas!?" MagnusB was standing nearby, until he cracked up, starting laughing out loud, tripped on a rock, and fell into the lava.just then fellas p00ped his pants and started gigling like a girl, the crew couldnt stand it, so they decided toTar and feather him,but they were all out of tar so they decided to execute plan x.The crew all gasped and said not plan x.Im afraid so said the captain.Thomas was soon about to find out that plan x was beating the ships drunkard brighto in a drinking duel.they gave fellas water and he passed out cold,so plan x sucseeded.Then they tossed fellas onto a raft and left him to float away.fellas woke up a few days later, and found himself in a bell tower, where the priest has found him passed out on shore, and gave him a job as a deformed bell ringer.fellas then realised the situation he was in.He climbed to the roof and shouted.IAM QUAZIMODO(or however u spell it).He started swinging about and lost his balance.He began to fall when suddenly he farted, gigled, and continued to fall.Fellas continued to fall while still laughing, to him this was all just like a ride at Disneyland, too bad he didn't see the nice rocky outcropping below.But lucky for him he landed on a big strong guys, so he only broke 2 ribs. The guy got mad, and broke his others. Near death, Thomas crawls to a hospital, where he collapsed on the doorstep.Then a little girl triped over and grazed her knee.Doctors came out with a stretcher and took the girl away.Fellas by now was in a dream world .In his dream fellas was fantasizing about runing naked in his hometown.in his dream loads of men were running up to him and staring at him.Fellas was in heaven which is rather ironic because before he knew it he was floating upwards and towards a tunnel full of light.The gate keeper saw fellas and let him in straight away covering his eyes while doing so.Fellas walked through and GOD himself was standing there looking down on fellas.God said "are thou a pothead son?".... and then god kicked his @ss all the way to HELL, where he was greeted by NiKo! who said ''are you a pothead fellas''.He was just about to put fellas on the toturing device when saddam hussain came along and said ''guy you need to relax put your feet up,i'll do the torturing'' Then saddam put fellas under a load of bricks ready to fall at the pull of a lever.Fellas was desperatly trying to escape when he remembered that Sadam was gay so Fellas offered to give him a blowjob, to which Sadam replied "eeh! relax guy! i like gay men", but then satan came along and asked "Who is this little gobs*ite?" With that satan picked up and fellas and threw back up to earth.Satan then called saddam into his room,meanwhile back up on earth,fellas had been thrown into space when along came the enterprise full of trekkies.Fellas was beamed up by scotty.Fellas boarded and the first thing he did was looking at scotty with a horny look and said "scotty, beam down my clothes"....suddenly thomas turned and saw the most HIDDEUs thing he has ever seen.... a mirror! thomas died of heart attack and all the world cheered... The-End


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http://publish.hometown.aol.co.uk/mtthwris/myhomepage/nikonewsig.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_UK
~if you can't lower Heaven, raise Hell.~

MagnusB
08-13-2001, 01:51 PM
Sorry, but I'm NOT going to read that.
Hope you don't mind.....

Natty
08-14-2001, 06:31 AM
*laughs so hard nearly falls off the chair*

Damn too bad it wasn't a true story http://koti.mbnet.fi/peku1/smilies/big3d/b3d1.gif Still I suppose that will have to do, besides, do you remember what you said to me on ICQ last night? About if Fellas ever decided to get a webcam, and you know... on it? http://www.escapemi.com/forums/tongue.gif

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http://nattsy.homestead.com/files/nattymaniacs.gif
Brighty's definate better half! After all, I'm an Australian female, and he's some English snooty nosed male! But I wuv him;)

Fender
08-14-2001, 08:11 AM
Definetly something for the 4 year olds.

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http://www.escapemi.com/murta/fender.png http://members.hometown.aol.com/paulandrews2001/myhomepage/fender.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_UK

Say no to Monkey Kombat (http://www.geocities.com/paulfishandrews/monkey_kombat_no.html)

Drunken_Sailor
08-14-2001, 10:03 AM
Maybe we should print out the story and mail it to him?Anyone who knows his adress?

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http://www.humor911.com/bilder/santa.jpg Poor Santa Claus!

NiKo
08-14-2001, 10:10 AM
no need, i'm sure he's reading this. he's watching us http://www.escapemi.com/forums/smile.gif



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http://publish.hometown.aol.co.uk/mtthwris/myhomepage/668sig.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_UK
~ if you rewind, you can hear Satan singing a duet with Ricky martin~

Drunken_Sailor
08-14-2001, 10:11 AM
You gave me the relax.

Deadmeat
08-14-2001, 12:54 PM
In cinemas soon?

NiKo
08-14-2001, 03:10 PM
yep. and free toys from the movie in each Happy Meal http://www.escapemi.com/forums/wink.gif

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http://publish.hometown.aol.co.uk/mtthwris/myhomepage/668sig.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_UK
~ if you rewind, you can hear Satan singing a duet with Ricky martin~

MagnusB
08-14-2001, 05:26 PM
And including life-insurance.....