View Full Version : Confucious say...

08-14-2001, 06:00 PM
"Man who run in front of car get tired"
"Man who run behind car get exhausted"
"Man with one hand in pocket not necessarily jingling
"To prevent hangover stay drunk!"
"Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing
of fly."
"Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone!"
"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife
upright organ."
"Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to
"Man with one chopstick go hungry."
"Man trapped in ***** house get jerked around."
"Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails."
"Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."
"Man with hand in pocket is having a ball."
"Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!"
"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."
"Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!"
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat
"Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by
"Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!"
"If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people."
"Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn
"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill
"Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons."
"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!"
"Man who sit on tack get point!"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
"Man who lives in glass house should change in basement"
"Boy who go to bed with sexual problem wake up with
problem in hand"
"He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."
"People who make Confuscious joke speak bad English."


08-14-2001, 06:28 PM

08-14-2001, 06:40 PM
some of the funniest stuff ive heard in awhile...


08-14-2001, 08:08 PM
Man who go to sleep with itchy hole, wake up with smelly finger

[This message has been edited by murta (edited August 14, 2001).]

08-14-2001, 08:17 PM
i was just gonna say that one,

guess its popular

or maybe you just got it from the same site i did http://www.escapemi.com/forums/wink.gif

~ if you rewind, you can hear Satan singing a duet with Ricky martin~

08-14-2001, 08:57 PM
Originally posted by murta:
Man who go to sleep with itchy hole, wake up with smelly finger.....

[This message has been edited by murta (edited August 14, 2001).]

...and should not bite his nails!

http://www.guybrush.homestead.com/files/Calvin.gif http://www.guybrush.homestead.com/files/Hobbes.gif and Grannen

08-15-2001, 05:08 PM
Man with one hand in pocket feel co*ky all day.
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer.
When lady say 'no' she mean 'perhaps' when she say 'perhaps' she mean 'yes' but when she say 'yes,' she not a lady.
When man 60 marry girl 25, like buying book for someone else to read.
Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
Television never replace old reliable key hole.
Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy...
Laziest man in world who marry widow with six children.
Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.
Girl who do back spring on bedspring have offspring next spring.
Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot in unsanitary.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
Man who make love to girl on hill... he not on level.
Honeymoon over when man who whispered sweet nothings before now say nothing sweet.
Man who jump through screen door likely to strain himself.
Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.
Man who walk middle of road get run over by bus.
Man who eat jellybean relieve self in technicolor.
Man who keep feet firmly on gournd have trouble putting on pants!
Man who sinks into woman's arms will soon find arms in woman's sink.
A girl's best asset is her lieability.
He who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.
Eunuch not strange creature, just man cut out to be bachelor.
Man who dream of giant mushroom--wake up with no pillow.
Boy and girl go camping together sure to have naughty intent.
Butcher who backs into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.
Chemist who fall in acid, absorbed in work.
Man do not mind bust in mouth if provided by beautiful voluptuous lady.
Man become old when he watch food instead of waitress.
Girl who make love in tomb may soon become mummy.
Wise man never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Man who drop watch in toilet have crappy time.
Man trapped in pantry have himself in jam.
Women take to good hearted men. Also from.
Man who pass gas in church must sit in own pew.
Man who shoot off mouth, expect to lose face.
Man with big mouth, beware of foot.
Man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic.
House without bathroom, uncanny.
Man who throw dirt, losing ground.
Man who crosses ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser.
Man who speaks with forked tongue, should not kiss balloons.
He who have last laugh, not get joke.
Man who throw away watch, wasting time.

"And... I'm... spent."
  --Austin Powers, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

[This message has been edited by brief (edited August 15, 2001).]

08-16-2001, 04:53 AM
Now this is funny stuff http://www.escapemi.com/forums/biggrin.gif

NFGB = Nerd ****3r and Gates's B1tch!