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brief
08-20-2001, 06:34 PM
As we make our way through the course of academia, we will find that, often, the professors will say something, when they really mean something else. Below is a list of some of the things you might hear coming out of a professor's mouth, as well as what they (almost) invariably mean...

<table><tr><th width="55%">What They Say</th><th width="45%">What They Mean</th></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">You'll be using one of the leading textbooks in the field.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">I used it as a grad student</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">If you follow these simple rules, you'll do fine in the course.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">If you don't need any sleep, you'll do fine in this course.</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">The gist of what the author is saying is what's most important.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">I don't understand the details either.</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Various authorities agree that...</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">My hunch is that...</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">The answer to your question is beyond the scope of this class.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">I don't know.</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">You'll have to see me during my office hours and I'll answer the question.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">I don't know.</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">In answer to your question, you must recognize that there are several disparate points of view.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">I really don't know.</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Today we are going to discuss a most important topic.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Today we are going to discuss my dissertation.</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">We can continue this discussion outside of class.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">1. I'm tired of this -- let's quit.
2. You're winning this argument -- let's quit.</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Today we'll let a member of the class lead the discussion. It will be a good educational experience.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">I stayed out too late last night and didn't have time to prepare a lecture.</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Any questions?</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">I'm ready let you go.</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">The implications of this study are clear...</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">I don't know what it means either, but there'll be a question about it on the test.</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">The test will be 50-questions, multiple choice.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">The test will be 60-questions multiple guess, plus three short-answer questions (1000 words or more), and no one will score above 55 percent.</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">The test scores were generally good.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Some of you managed a C+</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">The test scores were a little below my expectations.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Where was the party last night?</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Some of you could have done better.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Everyone flunked.</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Before we being the lecture today, are there any questions about previous material?</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Has anyone opened the book yet?</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">According to my sources...</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">According to the guy who taught this class last year...</font></tr><tr valign="top"><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">It's been very rewarding to teach this class.</font><td><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">I hope they find someone else to teach it next year.</font></tr></table>

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Guybrush122
08-20-2001, 07:11 PM
lol, very funny brief

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Drunken_Sailor
08-22-2001, 05:21 PM
Exellent http://www.escapemi.com/forums/biggrin.gif

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Deadmeat
08-23-2001, 08:53 AM
Hehe. School just started again, and this could really be usefull..

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