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M@RS
07-01-2008, 09:32 PM
I got this email, it's pretty funny :lol:

For those of you who love the English language.



We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
pine in pineapple.. English muffins weren't invented in England

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham.

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of
them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it
out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

TiE23
07-01-2008, 09:50 PM
I've got a better one:
http://www.aristocratsjokes.com/

Det. Bart Lasiter
07-01-2008, 09:51 PM
I got this email, it's pretty funny :lol:

For those of you who love the English language.



We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
pine in pineapple.. English muffins weren't invented in England

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham.

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of
them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it
out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?http://i31.tinypic.com/5b8jld.gif

EnderWiggin
07-01-2008, 10:05 PM
http://lucasforums.com/picture.php?albumid=16&pictureid=845


Your image did not work, Jay.


_EW_

BongoBob
07-01-2008, 10:14 PM
http://66.222.163.244:55555/b/facepalm.jpg

TiE23
07-01-2008, 10:17 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v123/Tie23/yay.jpg

Det. Bart Lasiter
07-01-2008, 10:29 PM
Your image did not work, Jay.


_EW_What?

BongoBob
07-01-2008, 10:32 PM
Yeah I'm not seeing it either.

Det. Bart Lasiter
07-01-2008, 10:37 PM
What about now?

Pie™
07-01-2008, 10:41 PM
Why do I get the feeling this guy is about 14 years old?

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/a/a5/150px-Emerald-Mudkip.png

BongoBob
07-01-2008, 10:43 PM
Works now jmac, and it works splendidly.

Dath Maximus
07-01-2008, 10:53 PM
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

hey guys, i know a place where we can get inexpensive air jordans! i shall now post repeatedly about places to get said shoes, providing links which may or may not infest your computers with virus's

why? shouldn't that be awesome? to weed out the impurities of the swamp if ya know what im saying

Det. Bart Lasiter
07-01-2008, 10:59 PM
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

hey guys, i know a place where we can get inexpensive air jordans! i shall now post repeatedly about places to get said shoes, providing links which may or may not infest your computers with virus's

why? shouldn't that be awesome? to weed out the impurities of the swamp if ya know what im sayingoh nice i need some new inexpensive air jordans.

Dath Maximus
07-01-2008, 11:01 PM
oh nice i need some new inexpensive air jordans.


come with my my friend

also why we are at it, can i interest you in helping the prince of some weird ass country youve never heard of who has had all his money seized by some government due to some crazy scandal of his father or somthing

aswell as cheap wang pills to please youre man/woman/apecritter

and take these free movies that are still in theaters!

Anthony
07-01-2008, 11:05 PM
HISS

http://ant.siflige.com/Pics/1213260087823.jpg

Det. Bart Lasiter
07-01-2008, 11:06 PM
come with my my friend

also why we are at it, can i interest you in helping the prince of some weird ass country youve never heard of who has had all his money seized by some government due to some crazy scandal of his father or somthing

aswell as cheap wang pills to please youre man/woman/apecritter

and take these free movies that are still in theaters!sweet bro my bank account needs to be emptied so that when the mpaa sues me for all those free movies that are still in theaters that are on my hard drive!

Kjølen
07-01-2008, 11:07 PM
Why do you make threads?

Dath Maximus
07-01-2008, 11:08 PM
WHAT THE CHRIST ANTHONY!?!?! THAT THING IS SCARY!!!


scarily delicious

/edit

well kojo, he makes them cause he feels inadequate if he doesn't

inadequate as a man-ape gone wrong thing

Det. Bart Lasiter
07-01-2008, 11:08 PM
Why do you make threads?good sir this thread is comedy gold and i move for it to be stickied.

M@RS
07-01-2008, 11:09 PM
Because I can make threads :lol:

Anthony
07-01-2008, 11:12 PM
http://ant.siflige.com/Pics/1198201443229.jpg

Dath Maximus
07-01-2008, 11:13 PM
stop using smileys, they only increase my rage

BongoBob
07-01-2008, 11:13 PM
Because I can make threads :lol:

Someone needs to fix this, stat.

M@RS
07-01-2008, 11:17 PM
Here then...

____________________________

Is that better?

BongoBob
07-01-2008, 11:18 PM
No.

Anthony
07-01-2008, 11:18 PM
Needs more backspace

Det. Bart Lasiter
07-01-2008, 11:18 PM
Here then...

____________________________

Is that better?WHAT ARE YOU

Kjølen
07-01-2008, 11:18 PM
Then, I'm converting it into yet another lolcats thread, where it will be swiftly destroyed.

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/funny-pictures-cooling-cat-on-marble-kitchen2.jpg

Anthony
07-01-2008, 11:19 PM
http://ant.siflige.com/Pics/whatyoudidthere.jpg

M@RS
07-01-2008, 11:25 PM
WHAT ARE YOU

I'm a Martian...:carms:

Det. Bart Lasiter
07-01-2008, 11:26 PM
I'm a Martian...:carms:WHY ARE YOU ATTEMPTING TO KILL EARTH HUMOR

Anthony
07-01-2008, 11:32 PM
I'm a Martian...:carms:

http://ant.siflige.com/Pics/1208732120450.jpg

TiE23
07-01-2008, 11:34 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v123/Tie23/failmars.jpg

Kjølen
07-01-2008, 11:38 PM
http://azrah.net/wp-content/wedding-cake-topper-lol.jpg

And now for something completely different!

TiE23
07-01-2008, 11:40 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v123/Tie23/1194318325012.jpg

BongoBob
07-01-2008, 11:41 PM
Am I the only one that thinks that looks like 2 women?

Kjølen
07-01-2008, 11:42 PM
Am I the only one that thinks that looks like 2 women?

It's the ring on her finger. Looks deceptively like an earing.

BongoBob
07-01-2008, 11:44 PM
It's the ring on her finger. Looks deceptively like an earing.

Touche, but it's more than that. The whole figure of the, well, figure.

RoxStar
07-01-2008, 11:50 PM
I actually found the post humorous, but I find many things about the English language funny.


TO CONTRIBUTE

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/funny-pictures-ceiling-cat-loves-me-song.jpg

Kjølen
07-01-2008, 11:54 PM
I considered posting that one, too. But harbels are hard to resist.

Det. Bart Lasiter
07-01-2008, 11:56 PM
I considered posting that one, too. But harbels are hard to resist.mm yeah

BongoBob
07-01-2008, 11:58 PM
I considered posting that one, too. But harbels are hard to resist.

No homo.

Det. Bart Lasiter
07-02-2008, 12:00 AM
No homo.Everyone's gay for Bridget, so you're either a robot or in the closet :carms:

BongoBob
07-02-2008, 12:01 AM
Lulz.

I must leave for now. Keep up the fight while I'm gone.

El Sitherino
07-02-2008, 12:14 AM
Hey,

PR-0927
07-02-2008, 12:43 AM
Double-you-tee-eff?

Tee-egg.

- PR-0927

ET Warrior
07-02-2008, 01:47 AM
inadequate as a man-ape gone wrong thingQuoting Firefly earns you hearts foreverz.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND end scene.