View Full Version : [Poetry] Verses from Atmospheres Unknown

11-02-2008, 01:04 PM
This is my land of poetry. I've written odd poems for quite a few years now, most of which have escaped even me (and thankfully, at that). Therefore, this is where I will stash my poems. To start with, here's one I wrote a couple minutes ago.

(A more elaborate opening post tomorrow)

The Wolves Overrun the Shire
Far across the oceans,
Across forests unheard,
Came the call of wolves
As they bounded ‘cross the plains.

Seawards did the sprint,
And snowfall they brushed off,
Threw down an old barrel
As the moon hung high above.

Doors snapped open,
Came a cobblestone echo:
Four feet of a dozen as they
Poured unto the streets.

“Gather here ye all!” cried the
Leader of the Pack,
And more than wolves obeyed
The unspoken order barked.

Smiths and bards huddled forth,
The Lords from windows,
“Tonight this town is ours,
Retribution for one and all!”

Broken pitchers and fallen mugs,
And debauchery unconcealed,
The tavern broke its windows
And spilled forth men and mead.

The wolves then scattered as the
Streets lit up in fire,
And so was born the night in which
The wolves had sacked the Shire.

(Not related to the Lord of the Rings in any way)

11-02-2008, 01:10 PM
Very interesting, Sabre. I like how the wolves declare the town theirs, while the people seem to do nothing. One of my first thoughts about this piece was of some relation to Nazi Germany, and how they were given many territories to prevent full-blown war.

All in all, a very nice piece.

11-02-2008, 07:40 PM
I liked it.
Use of words set the scene wonderfully.
Some poems can have annoying use of words that makes it hard to picture what the writer is trying to put across.

As Litofsky said: All in all, a very nice piece.

Bee Hoon
11-03-2008, 02:38 AM
(Not related to the Lord of the Rings in any way)*raises eyebrow* O rly?

Where did the barrel in stanza 2 pop out from? ;p Besides that, it flows well. I like the first and last stanzas in particular--they set the scene nicely.

11-03-2008, 06:15 AM
*raises eyebrow* O rly?
I needed something to rhyme with fire. >.>

Bee Hoon
11-03-2008, 09:27 AM
It did actually happen ;o Click here! (http://www.tuckborough.net/times.html#Fell%20Winter)

11-03-2008, 11:34 AM
It did actually happen ;o Click here! (http://www.tuckborough.net/times.html#Fell%20Winter)
Goddamn, I must be Tolkien reincarnated or something. :/

Bee Hoon
11-04-2008, 08:43 PM
:O So when do you start making up languages and writing really long epics?

11-09-2008, 10:35 AM
And for some ancient poetry from the archives of Sabre

Absolve My Sin
Through these throes of death,
I fall, my gracious Lord!
Absolve me of this great sin,
to take on me Death’s toll!

“Come, ye sinful, ye lusteth to reach here.
Welcome to Hell, the rightful place for thee.
Defy your Lord, yes! And accept this ours.
Our Lord of fire, and the flames is he.”

“Burn in the fire, amongst these sinners.
Burn in my flames, in my infernal heaven.
Feel the pain of Hell’s deepest realms.”
Absolve my sin!

And whence do I go now?
This one flame swallows all.
Only one before whom I bow.
Only before him I fall.

Save my soul from this place for madmen,
Save me from this land of slayers and demons,
Take me to where I am myself,
Absole my sin!

Life is still beautiful, as it was at genesis.
Tempt me not, ye infernal beast.
Leave me to my wordly pains, for I am grateful for them.
Tomorrow I despair, but today I feast.

The melodious rhythm of life’s forces awakening,
as the red gushing raced inside me.
Never shalt I commit this lasting sin.
Never shall I need to cry.

Absolve my sin.

11-09-2008, 11:25 AM
Rather interesting, Sabre. The feel that I got from this poem was that the person was about to commit some atrocity that would go against their moral values (i.e., murder, in specific, comes to mind).

At any rate, I thought you did well to capture the mindset of a (person) before any sort of crime or heinous action takes place.

11-09-2008, 12:37 PM
Very interesting poetry, Sabre. You really conveyed the feeling of a need for redemption and saving, I think. But this reminds {I hope this doesn't offend you} slightly of something Edgar Allan Poe might write. It was excellent, though! I hope you post more soon!!

11-09-2008, 01:49 PM
{I hope this doesn't offend you} slightly of something Edgar Allan Poe might write.
I admire Poe and Gothic poetry, which is what I practice.

11-09-2008, 06:35 PM
Oh, okay, then I say jolly well done! :D

11-10-2008, 11:39 PM
Very noiice.
I love the dark poems, lol.

This person is going to hell. I know that much. If they are already there or are about to do something that will secure them a place in the realm of fire, I do not know.
Great work, Sabre.
Post more like this one! :xp: :lol:

11-11-2008, 12:49 AM
You asked for it.

The Descent

Follow me down this path, angel.
Or lead the way if you choose.
Help me in these dark stairs.
Help me before I lose
It all, and fall.

Save me like you did in life.
Save me only to kill me again.
Kill me because I killed you.
Tit for tat, and life is so fair,
But it isn’t, and it isn’t.

Descend with me into this Hell.
Like you did when I thought of you, alone.
Don’t bring me back to reality.
For in life, I could only hear you moan,
In pain, so faint.

Come with me, my angel and enlighten my dreams.
Come with me into this realm of sinners.
Shun me not as you earlier did,
For fear, hatred and a long blood shower,
For a new love, for a bleeding dove.

Save me as I am lashed this pain.
Save me from what you felt before.
How will I know your choice?
By the million blades, or the endless gore?
I had a choice, but had no voice.

I shiver alone, with no body by my side.
I see you dancing for me in the dark night,
But for you perhaps, my absence has only brought,
You into a greater and brighter light,
But I, still cry.

11-11-2008, 12:56 AM
Redemption. That's what I get when I read this.
Then failure to be redeemed.
This one is my favorite so far of yours, Sabre.
It plays with emotions. Tugs them to the side then tears at them.

It made me think that I wanted whatever it was, to work out for the person, but then I wanted it not to. A weird feeling.
Nice work.

11-11-2008, 11:17 AM
A very nice piece, Sabre. My feelings regarding this poem seem to revolve around a leader, making a terrible choice and paying for it with (the leader's) love (literally and figuratively, it seems). It seems, while though the leader had no other choice, s/he regrets it deeply. Almost like the Exile with the Mass Shadow Generator...

Great job, Sabre. :)

11-16-2008, 08:54 AM
Tomb Forgotten Eternally

Old ghosts rise and I see their faces,
And I see them weep, I see them weep.
Why do they elude me as I walk here,
These halls of a tomb forgotten eternally.

Shadows rise and gurgle as they choke,
Their souls drenched clean by history,
Wispy smoke from an invisible fire
Fortuitously concocts their torments in me.

Burning wings of an angel mourning,
Death of a father, the loss of a dream,
Washing up the shores of age, these
Bodies of an epoch ago, bring tears to me.

Moonlight from a pagan princess high,
As I mourn their loss, their fights of
Antiquity; they who must forsaken be,
Forests for graves keep, tears from the Mother.

Trickling forever, rivers flow for them the dead,
Pallid reflections from mirrors broken and ruined,
Thereafter crossed by the ravens of the Devil,
Crossed by the Four Steeds as they roar past.

11-16-2008, 11:05 AM
Nicely done, Sabre. My first thoughts reflected on Korriban, and the seemingly unnecessary death and destruction that was always there. When you spoke of "Tomb Forgotten Eternally," it would seem to relay that no one cares- much less remembers- about the fallen, and what they had sacrificed to achieve their goals.

11-16-2008, 12:16 PM
Depressing... but, in a god way! Some of those lines are going to stick with me for awhile. But, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Keep 'em coming, Sabre!

12-07-2008, 03:28 AM
Building Over Seas of Death

Six billions strong stood the army of men, minds of glorious destruction
Blood raging from infinite veins of valour, the battlefield chosen, days chosen fair
Eyes of fury stare into the black clouds above, Death invited to the marked date
Rains of fire and brimstone rain from skies left starless, Heavens fractured and laid bare

Volcanoes erupt and the brow of man has a sweat upon it,
Never has an enemy been faced, power too great for one man;
A challenge never faced but will end the surface of one and all,
Worlds destroyed in the outburst of energy of the one collective plan.

Darkness and light all but forgotten, howling winds call a day,
Lakes are whirlpools, the one spiral swallows all liquid and water gone;
Rebellious cries from the peasants as their chansaws rise and eyes watered,
God has much to fear, when the men wage war against their creator unknown.

Blood of millions rising under Satan's supervision, rejoice do they of the Hades
Burning fluids of gasoline flowing free through God's lands, arson of a highest degree
Ruining through, spreading the message of the cold ways of Death
Grimy shadows of a demon's seed falling upon the eyeless who cannot see

God smites those who oppose but the forces keep rising, for one that falls
Rise a hundred to the point of overwhelming, this war cannot be stemmed
Into the fury of an epic mob, the swords and hammers rise, the colour of blood fills all eyes
And it is the colour of Satan as he smiles upon his throne, smiling at God's window dimmed

Now let it be known that God's time has come, killed by his own spawn shall be the fate
Lights of glory shine beneath, celebrations of a war victorious of the sons
Building over seas of Death, building over the grave of God,
Building over seas of Death, building over the triumphant throne of Satan.

12-07-2008, 12:59 PM
An interesting concept, Sabre. My personal interpretation: it seems as though items, objects, and everything that the 'Devil' is represented in have taken hold over the hearts of man, to the point that greed and hate have become the dominant belief and the goodness is exterminated from every mind and being.

You also seem to be implying, through the use of "six billion," that these ideals now hold sway over (most [seeing as how we're at 6.7 billion]) people on this planet, or do I interpret this correctly?