View Full Version : The What if game

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03-22-2010, 12:04 PM
i would only be interestted if you replaced the girl :P

what if you saw George W Bush naked running a mile?

Darth Avlectus
03-22-2010, 04:50 PM
I'd say "Put some ****in' clothes on ya weasel!" and sillystring his ass. (BTW just a caution: you're supposed to phrase the question in "What IF" lest you get smacked around by one of the other forumites. :dev9:)

What if we threw a party for Dath Maximus for him to crown his successors since he's now getting married and can no longer sexorize mothers without consent of his wife-to-be? (I was glad to hear he's getting married, but also kinda bummed that he won't be able to be as unabashed about it as before!)

03-22-2010, 05:08 PM
I would be the one who now sexorizes the mothers now :drool2:

What If the price of coca cola was 1 million of your cuurency?

Darth Avlectus
03-22-2010, 06:04 PM
Coca Cola would probably go out of business. :( Don't care much for pepsi either.

What if pinatas were made by the secretive ninja monkey army?

03-22-2010, 07:01 PM
They'd be full of a very smelly surprise, which they would whip at you once you broke the pinata.

What if the ninja monkey army couldn't see?

Darth Avlectus
03-22-2010, 07:58 PM
They don't need to see if tey are in tune with their 6th sense and they have hearing like a bat. Remember, ninjas in training live for 1 year without their vision. :p

What if those pinatas were flammable and full of explosives as well as their smelly surprise?

04-04-2010, 03:06 PM
I would Run away

What if the easter bunny stole your Trix!!!

Hope Estheim
04-04-2010, 03:08 PM
Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids :xp:

What if all of the Star Wars Universe was real and we were just video game characters to them? O_O

04-04-2010, 03:12 PM
I think they would get bored as we are not as Interessting or Fun to play with ;P

What if i was the easter bunny

Darth Avlectus
04-07-2010, 04:03 AM
You'd make a fine pet.

What if this was yo momma?:

04-07-2010, 09:35 AM
Then as a Young child i would get scared and go sleep in her bed ;P and my hand may fall places when im asleep

What if I was Yo Mamma?

Darth Avlectus
04-09-2010, 02:38 AM
That would make me a monkey's uncle. :dev9:

What if chappelle ended up on sesame street. *Hint: YT search those two terms together to make an informed answer.*

04-11-2010, 10:16 AM
Lol, then some seriously violent stuff would be happening.

What IF, This entire universe was in my ear.

04-11-2010, 12:28 PM
then the Big Bang would have hurt

What if the world was made of Cheese

Darth Avlectus
04-11-2010, 05:11 PM
That would smell pretty bad considering how old this world is, and fungus would have evolved into intelligent life to compete with us.

What if GMAX could make new animations for the KOTOR games?

04-11-2010, 06:03 PM
Then mods would be even more impressive.

What if I had remembered to get an antidote for the poison I gave you?

Darth Avlectus
04-11-2010, 06:47 PM
I'd be dead.

What if this was my sister doing a cosplay of Rangiku Matsumoto?:

04-11-2010, 08:25 PM
Let's just say I have no shame, and leave it at that.

What if I did have shame?

Darth Avlectus
04-11-2010, 08:52 PM
It would be a new development, that's for sure..... you, err former, internet horn dog.

What if I did your mom?

04-12-2010, 12:29 AM
you would likely be dead.

What IF I pimp slapped a Baboon?

Darth Avlectus
04-12-2010, 02:14 AM
You would more than likely be dead, or at least so maimed and wounded that you'd surely wish to be.

What if you were hitchhiking and it was Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunn who offered to pick you up in their shaggin' wagon? (hint: dumb and dumber)

04-12-2010, 04:40 AM
You could probably trick them out of their van and drive away leaving them in the dust.

What if you won the lottery and couldn't collect any of the money b/c you were on the lam?

04-12-2010, 11:09 AM
i would go on a rampage til i got ma money

What if Ducks could Talk?

Te Darasuum Mandalor
04-12-2010, 01:49 PM
Then they would, that would be cool. No questions asked!

What if Barney went on a rampage and killed the kids.

04-12-2010, 03:58 PM
Then they'd just get a new Barney and a new bunch of kids, and keep the original Barney's severed on a pike to keep the new one in line.

What if every kid's show subsequently became Nightmare Fuel?

04-12-2010, 09:40 PM
What, you mean they're* not already.....:dev8:

*shudders at mere thought of Barney, teletubbies, et al..

What if someone shot you before you could finish your answer to this post?

Darth Avlectus
04-12-2010, 09:45 PM
Well it must be a satellite photo "shoot" of me at my computer...unless I'm secretly immune to bullets.

What if Harry Reid got flushed down a giant toilet?

04-29-2010, 03:28 AM
He would just clog up the draining system.....and then they would have to snake (plumbers tool) his a$$ right back out. Not really worth it IMO. :indif:

What if someone did bite Bender's shiny metal ass?

04-29-2010, 11:59 AM
They Would Chip there Tooth because its Metal o.0

What if George Washington was your "Wingman" o_Q

Darth Avlectus
04-30-2010, 05:21 PM
That would be ****in' awesome just because it's George Washington. The sheer and utter awesome of that is beyond description.

What if your real name was Barf?

04-30-2010, 05:25 PM
Then i would be Cool enough to be George Washingtons Wingman o_Q

What if it Rained Money....... But it was Zimbabwe Dollers.......

Darth Avlectus
04-30-2010, 06:30 PM
I guess I'd be rich in Zimbabwe.

What if YOU were Darth Malgus?

05-04-2010, 12:26 AM
Well the first thing I'd do, is get some freak'in sunlight. And the second thing I would do, is get a serious facelift.

What if Totenkopf was a man named "Darth Reaper." And he had a scythe lightsaber. ( :vadar: YOOOUUU DON"T KNOW THE POWER OF MY SCYTHE.)

05-04-2010, 12:02 PM
Then that would be awesome

I guess I'd be rich in Zimbabwe.
Yeah gonna put a FYI here i believe it cost 10 million Zimbabwe Dollers for a Loaf of Bread so......

What If I was made of Cup Cakes?

05-04-2010, 02:00 PM
Weeeell, you wouldn't be here right now (Posting) Holty, that's for sure. Everyone around you would have done gone cannabil on your a$$ long ago. :D

What if we were all made of cup cakes? (With chocolate icing.... hmmmmmmm.)

05-04-2010, 02:09 PM
Then Only I, Holty would Remain as i would have ate you all Looong ago..... That is if you didnt get me First o_Q

What if Pizza was made of oranges...

05-04-2010, 03:31 PM
I'd figure I entered the wrong multi-verse.

What if Dr Who were really a badass bad guy and not a do-gooder of sorts.

05-04-2010, 03:40 PM
Then the show would Properly Be cooler. Docter: hello Cyber Men you have you electroic Death hands But say Hello to My Little Friend"

What if Humans came from Eggs

05-04-2010, 05:20 PM
But they do, well.....eggs and sperm anyway. ;)

What if humans actually laid eggs like other animals?

05-04-2010, 05:23 PM
Then are Butts would Hurt A lot!!!!! lol

What if you awoke to find yourself on Tropical Island..... But it was full of Men!!!!!!! :(

05-06-2010, 12:52 AM
We'd better be fighting some enemy.....or I'd have to use 'em as sharkbait.

What if you could travel through time but never back into your original universe....would you do it?

05-06-2010, 10:55 AM
Go ahead of my Time as the Present is Nothing Compared to The Future

What If You awoke to Find your Self in Dinosaur Land

05-06-2010, 02:39 PM
Hmmmm, I'm thinking all of the jurassic barbeque I want....unless of course I got eaten first by a dinosaur, which would suck. :fist:

What if dinosaurs were sophisticated and just as intelligent as humans?

05-06-2010, 03:47 PM
They'd have still died out from the catastrophic changes. Being smaller had its advantages.

What if 2+2=5?

05-06-2010, 04:07 PM
then 2+2= Fish

What if Ducks and Cats had babies which become Dogs.

05-06-2010, 04:50 PM
Then you probably line in the Dr. Seuss-iverse.

What if GTA's monkey army was actually led by the Dr. Hacks?

Darth Avlectus
05-06-2010, 06:50 PM
Then we'd have monkeys yelling "HAAAAX" because they are sore losers, and monitors now full of monkey sh*t would be hitting people accused of "the haaax".
...too bad as megaman I killed sunstar--I could really use that ancient doomsday machine's capabilities to help me out...

What if all old women knew the same juitsu Tsunade uses to keep herself looking twenties something?
Would that make me any *more* of a dirty mo-fo?

05-06-2010, 09:47 PM
Cougars might get more interesting as a dating prospect. :naughty:

What if Tsunade wanted to gamble....with your money?

05-06-2010, 10:37 PM
Although I do like blonds, but if she ain't real, no deal. :carms:

What if Tsunade was real and you had her buxom blonde self, aaaalllll to yourself.

05-07-2010, 03:43 AM
I'd still make her do all the housework and then make me a sandwich.....after we were done, if you know what I mean. ;)

What if the President insulted you on national tv?

05-07-2010, 10:57 AM
i would do to him what i did to JFK.... I mean Nothing......

What if drugs were Legal but only if you were a Midget?

05-07-2010, 02:45 PM
Then midgets would never have to worry about doing time for their habit.

What if drugs were only illegal if you were a dwarf?

05-07-2010, 02:49 PM
Then the world would be a better place

What if The world turned into a Giant Slug

Darth Avlectus
05-08-2010, 05:54 PM
Things would get really sticky.

What if my stolen anvil got dropped on the MSNBC building by Milton on the Simpsons who says "HA-HA!" out of his helicopter?

05-10-2010, 03:40 AM
They would have a new opening for a skylight......and a magnificent door stop.

What if ya got bitch slapped by a meteorite coming from space?

:raise: hmm..Have I asked this question before, seriously?

05-10-2010, 05:31 AM
I'd end up looking like you. :dev8:

What if all you could eat for the rest of your life was vegetarian food mixed w/ground glass?

05-10-2010, 10:47 AM
what about it...... That Monday Night for me

What if The A-Team was Like this
Hannibal: Santa
Face: Easter Bunny
B.A:..... There's no Replacing Mr.T
Murdock: E.T

05-10-2010, 12:52 PM
You'd probably be watching a subversive animated version on Comedy Central.

what about it...... That Monday Night for me

My condolences. :xp:

What if Video games cost $200, minimum?

05-10-2010, 01:11 PM
Then My Career as a Bank Robber would Finally start

What if they made a Video Game that took 5 hours REAL TIME to travel and you had to drink water every hour 0.o

Darth Avlectus
05-10-2010, 05:12 PM
Uhh, no we don't need simulator games to get any more realistic than they already are.

What if the government told you to put meat hooks in the backs of spies?

05-11-2010, 11:37 AM
"Then i would do what ever our Great Government asked me too".... There onto me

What if the Government was pure Monkeys

05-11-2010, 02:15 PM
Wait....it's not? Oh, that's right, it's pretty much pure jackass right now.

What if the world ran out of ideas?

05-11-2010, 03:12 PM
I think it all ready has so far there on plan ZZY8I - Declare war on Oxygen

What if Earth and the rest of the solar system (- The Sun) Engaged in a Battle to the DEATH?

Darth Avlectus
05-11-2010, 09:20 PM

What if the Government was pure Monkeys

If it's anything like the ninja monkey army, I'm afraid the entire world is screwed. There isn't anything even I could do to help.

What if it rained sheet metal ninja stars that read sonofabitch on all of them?

05-15-2010, 02:40 AM
It already did, and I'm still pulling them out of my ass. :raise:

*ssshhhthrawck!* (SONOFABITCH! :fist: Somebody get me the vise-grips...again!)

What if I had - had a gigantic magnet to stop all of those raining sheet metal ninja stars in the first place?

05-15-2010, 08:00 AM
Then Who evers Holding the Magnet is In a Lot of pain soon.

What if does Ninja stars where made of Butter

05-16-2010, 07:30 PM
:raise: Hmmm..dairy or non dairy? Well anyway, I would need a massive open wheeled tanker to catch them in...and make a profit from going around the country, spraying butter on everyone's food.
*Cha-Ching!* ;)

Note: (Lol! I was going to say "everyone's corn-on-the-cob", but that might get interpreted as meaning something else.

What if it hailed corn cobs afterwards?

Darth Avlectus
05-16-2010, 09:58 PM
We'd adopt that african thing or that jamaican thing where we walk around with baskets on our heads to catch all that food.

What if Jules got caught up in his own "say what again" bit?

05-18-2010, 12:30 AM
*Jules picks up the bible, turns to the book of Ezekiel and quotes*........

Ezekiel 25:17
'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.....



What if Jules was to shoot himself for saying "what" for the first gawdamn time?

Darth Avlectus
05-20-2010, 10:15 PM
I'd lol.

What if Darth Zavier really was a cover for that guy who got his picture taken at the end of a driveway next to a giant furby?

05-20-2010, 10:57 PM
Then the furby's reading all of this right now.

What if GTA:SWcity had no delusions of grandeur?

Darth Avlectus
05-20-2010, 11:17 PM
Then I would be doing something else instead.

(BTW I do have a fair bit of evidence to support that! :xp:)
What if next February I had another chick avatar and tried to dupe another n00b?

05-23-2010, 04:00 PM
*ahem!* You ever see the movie "Joy Ride" GTA, oh yeah...you do that. :drama:

What if GTA did dupe another noob in February on the internet, which turned out to be a physco trucker, and this guy was to persistently hunt GTA down because of it; along with a bottle of pink champagne.

Darth Avlectus
05-23-2010, 05:52 PM
Then he'll be sorry once he meets me in person b/c psychos are what I specialize in beating down and impaling.

What if your home was invaded by thousands of male cats that wanted to do the "dancing tail" wherever they felt like?

05-23-2010, 06:20 PM
Two words for ya: Cat stew.

What if you met your doppleganger tomorrow?

Darth Avlectus
05-23-2010, 06:45 PM
It better not be anything like the one on CastleVania 3.

What if they now made Tobacco Sauce?

05-23-2010, 07:12 PM
Well then it would be Smooookin' hot! :D

What if someone on LF slam their nuts in a car door?

Darth Avlectus
05-25-2010, 05:55 PM
Oww. Actually I sorta did that but in opposite order, I slammed the car door into my junk because I opened it too fast and wasn't wearing a jockstrap. Not half as bad as one skateboarder guy I saw that ali jumped, landed the board on the handrail, ground his board, board caught, he slipped and fell onto a railing--on his crotch, slid down it forward, bumped off where the handrail curve ended flat, and then landed face first in the concrete. I'm not squeamish and that hurt me just to watch...and it hurt me again to recall just now...

What if that crazy old man that makes rockets out of aluminum trash cans was back on TV?

05-25-2010, 08:16 PM
Then we'd know something about GTA's television habits.

What if rabbits were as deadly as the one in MP & the Holy Grail?

05-26-2010, 04:03 PM
I would train them for ultimate combat and then send them out to destroy GTA's "Ninja Monkey Army" oh yeah! Because you see, they have these nasty long looking teeth like this *holds two fingers pointing downward from mouth* - thath wial wripth ya headth offth *ahem* excuse me - and can leap tall knights in a single bound.

What if you got caught by the Jabberwocky, and it decided to make you it's loooove slave. :naughty:

Darth Avlectus
05-26-2010, 09:03 PM
It just so happens I carry a disease painfully and instantly debilitating for their kind. The rest of your sick fantasy is denied.

What if Hacksaw Jim Duggan needed a tag team partner?

05-27-2010, 11:28 AM
Then its about time he and Christain got more Gold

What if Randy Orton RKO'd your Entire Family?

Darth Avlectus
05-28-2010, 03:07 AM
He'd meet my variant of Emerald Fusion on the steel grill entrance ramp.

What if Rien from Genesis Wars 3 had an evil twin counterpart IRL at a cosplay?

Akaan Par'jila
06-05-2010, 11:36 PM
Nothing, because I have no idea what you are talking about? :P

What if we were burnt by ice and frozen by fire?

06-06-2010, 02:29 AM
Nothing would change. I still avoid both.

What if we were blue skinned humanoids who lived in primitive jungle societies?

Akaan Par'jila
06-06-2010, 11:28 AM
THE SMURFS!!! Or did you mean the Na'vi? Same thing, anyway... ones just alot taller...

What if all the mods/admins got banned from LF? CHAOS!!!

06-06-2010, 11:51 AM
Then We could post what we want when we want :)

What if You were a Admin?

06-06-2010, 11:54 AM
You'd be my first victim.

What if everyone had Admin rights?

06-06-2010, 12:24 PM
Then No one would be Special

What if it instead of Christmas we had Springmas

Darth Avlectus
06-06-2010, 05:45 PM
No matter what Santa wore it'd be wrong...well except maybe biker's clothes. Actually, I know a few bikers and ex bikers that could play Santa. :iceburn:

What if the only way to get lucky with her: http://www.nioutaik.fr/images/cosplay/21.jpg was to eat pellets of caustic soda.

06-06-2010, 06:12 PM
Well that would suck because I probably wouldn't be feeling up to getting lucky afterwards, if I was still alive.

What if a tornado, despite your geographical location, ripped-up your town, community, suburb, wherever you lived, killing everyone except you?

06-06-2010, 06:34 PM
I'd write a bestselling novel about it and make millions.

What if this started flirting with you:

Darth Avlectus
06-06-2010, 06:57 PM
I'd walk up indifferently and cook some of my family's NFL superbowl recipie nachos in it. And maybe give it a slap on the ass as a thank you. Because I'm a jerk.

What if you had to spend a weekend on a plane next to this guy with NO deodorant on board,
http://www.watermelonstudios.co.uk/theramenblues/wp-content/images/hardgay.jpg, and he wreaked of arm pit?

06-06-2010, 07:03 PM
There's no way he'd keep his arms up the whole time.

What if he also had bad breath, smelly feet, and hadn't bathed in weeks?

Darth Avlectus
06-06-2010, 07:24 PM
I'd prop the refreshments cart up on the door when he finally went to the restroom. Assuming TSA wouldn't detain him first. (BTW I'm pretty sure he wouldn't need to keep his arms up that whole time.)

What if Francis heard a witch?

06-12-2010, 12:05 PM
I wouldn't know.

WWYDI Adam West was your best friend?

06-12-2010, 01:44 PM
HOOOOOLY DING BATS, BATMAN! - TO THE BATDUNG CAVE, BATMAN! - HOOOOOLY SPANDEX ARE RIDING UP MY ASS, BATMAN!..............yeah I'd probably say stuff like that just to annoy the crap out of him. :D

What if Holty1-5 was to immediatly post after my post?

06-12-2010, 01:51 PM
Then you would be Correct

(How did you Know?)

What if Batman and Robin became Hotdog man and Candy Boy

06-12-2010, 03:33 PM
Then Joker would never ask Why so serious?

What would you do if you won the battle, but lost the war?

06-12-2010, 04:26 PM
I Would wonder how? As if i just one a Battle they would have lost more Men than me.
Then Again Being Irish we were proberly Drunk at the Time xD

What if Ireland was United Under One Banner (My Banner)

06-12-2010, 10:32 PM
It'd chew bubblegum and look to kick ass.

What if Ireland disappeared b/c it united under your banner?

Darth Avlectus
06-14-2010, 11:32 PM
Europe beware, ninja pirate cyborg monkey army be coming to your land next!

What if This was your dadhttp://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/3/10/128811643796976572.jpg?

06-18-2010, 10:01 PM
I'd have a sore butt.

What if Bruce Campbell was your uncle?

06-20-2010, 01:45 PM
Then I'd bitch at him to no end, until he would promote and act in a sequel to "Army of Darkness."

What if they finally made an Evil Dead IV?

Darth Avlectus
06-20-2010, 11:35 PM
Totenkopf, as well as any bruce fan would applaud while the snooty reviewers (who don't know talent from lambs arses) would whine about more garbage clogging the media.

What if the world was a giant dump?

06-20-2010, 11:41 PM
You mean it really isn't?!?!

What if up were down and right didn't exist?

Darth Avlectus
06-20-2010, 11:52 PM
Then politically that would make me a blasphemy. Otherwise our existence would be akin to an unfinished video game.

You mean it really isn't?!?!
Ending: Trash Man Game: Twisted metal 4, but it really was all around the world... OR I guess that one planet of starfox 64...

What if there was a coach Jules for hockey? :dev8:

06-21-2010, 12:01 AM
You'd be dead already just for asking that question. :xp:

What if Marcellus Wallace were actually a gimp?

Darth Avlectus
06-21-2010, 12:06 AM
He wouldn't know what a gourmet shot was.

What if the fathers of beavis and butthead got re hired as motley crue roadies?

06-21-2010, 12:12 AM
Everyone would pray they only shot blanks at this point.

What if their moms were your personal groupies?

Darth Avlectus
06-21-2010, 11:36 AM
Well, I am shameless. :dev11:

What if I had a whole mosh pit full of hawt sexy bitchez?

06-21-2010, 02:25 PM
It'd mean that you paid them to be there.

What if GTA is actually a real life Alan Harper? (2-1/2 Men)

Darth Avlectus
06-21-2010, 02:43 PM
Guess that would make you Charlie.

What if someone else here was Jake?

06-22-2010, 10:55 PM
It'd be purifier, which makes him your son (gah!), and Totenkopf your brother (could be worse).

What if another person here was Berta?

06-22-2010, 11:23 PM
^Yeah, Judith there has a point, what if one of you was Berta (my $$ is on HAL, who's got the smartass chops for it).

06-23-2010, 12:23 AM
^I agree!^

It'd be purifier, which makes him your son (gah!)

Gosh Judith ! You really wanted to insult him, didn't you. :lol: And if that's true, then that means I'm the smartest one out of the whole bunch. :p Oooooh snap!

What if I bust a move (like I've done several times before on the show) on Uncle Charlie's woman? :naughty:

06-23-2010, 03:27 AM
Your move will still be a bust. However, you can have Rose (though you may not be able to get rid of her in the end).

What if the govt is secretly tracking your IP # and building up a child porn case against you......whether you're guilty or not?

06-23-2010, 08:40 AM
I'd feed them a virus or two.

What if having two knives was enough for a man to be happy?

Darth Avlectus
06-23-2010, 05:31 PM
I'd hope the blades were of high quality...or their taste sucks and the deserve to be stabbed to death with their own 2 pieces of junk metal.

What if you had to beat Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest without any foreknowledge and no cheat guides, no internet help, just plainly?

Delta 62
06-26-2010, 01:35 PM
Then it would take a while? (have never played the game....period)

What if i had played Castlevenia 2: Simon's Quest?

06-26-2010, 11:10 PM
Then you would have played it.

What if Scotland broke off from England and sank into the ocean?

Darth Avlectus
06-28-2010, 04:42 PM
That would suck on principle alone.

Then it would take a while? (have never played the game....period)
Yes. Quite a while. Actually I don't know of anyone who ever found a way to complete it raw, though. The whole thing about it is it's highly improbable you'd find a way: it's so anti intuitive with its hints and storyline. There's outright useless clues and even lies built into the game. It's nigh impossible to beat as though it was designed to sell the cheat guide and boost Nintendo power's sales. :dozey: Though I have found a couple cryptic references to SW in CV2. :thmbup1: Even giving a small hint would be cheating: once you discover how to beat it, it is flat and kind of disappointing. That whole game is basically about the mysteries to uncover. I'm convinced it can't be done raw.

What if a huge hoard of first level (round gelatinous) metroids attacked pinface?

06-29-2010, 02:32 PM
then there would be no point in playing the game hmm? o_Q

What if LF created and Republic Commando 2?

06-29-2010, 03:12 PM
Then Hockey would be the happiest person in the world

What if i wouldn't ask anything?

06-29-2010, 03:13 PM
then that post would be off-topic

What if the Hartford Whalers came back to Hartford?

Darth Avlectus
06-29-2010, 10:41 PM
You mean they aren't? (BTW, my question was metroids vs Pinface)

What if you were a bumper on a car?

06-29-2010, 11:58 PM
Then you'd be in a for a bumpy existence.

What if you actually had to face off vs a video game hero or villian come to life?

Darth Avlectus
06-30-2010, 01:17 AM
I'd hope if it was V2 of Dracula and I was in Simon Belmont's place, that my life (as well as my now cursed town) didn't hang in the balance based on some cheat guide not available to me.

What if you were an electric switch?

06-30-2010, 08:25 AM
i'd get a jolt every time i got turned on.

What if the universe and our existinece was a dream from the mind of a sleeping duck?

07-01-2010, 11:54 PM
:raise: Well no wonder our world is such a cluster****. That explains eeeeeverything.

What if Wonder Woman came after you, to teach you a lesson for your crimes of injustice?

07-02-2010, 04:35 AM
In the new outfit or the old one? :naughty:

What if she looked like a moistened bint?

Te Darasuum Mandalor
07-04-2010, 10:03 AM
Then she just would, no questions asked

What if she killed Brittney Spears for being an idiot

Darth Avlectus
07-04-2010, 11:35 PM
She did, but there's an indestructible cloning machine somewhere that reproduces idiot people. :dozey:

What if Brock Samson was really pro wrestler Sid justice? (Seriously, I can NOT be the only person to recognize this!!!)

Te Darasuum Mandalor
07-05-2010, 08:35 AM
Then he would quit and move to paru to heard llamas.

What if Eddie Murphey's girlfriend is lady gaga

07-05-2010, 08:37 AM
Would make his character in Dr. Dolittle more believable.

What can change the nature of a man?

Te Darasuum Mandalor
07-05-2010, 08:41 AM
Let's not go there!

What if Clint Eastwood directed the back to the future series?

Darth Avlectus
07-05-2010, 03:29 PM
^^^That would be interesting. I'd love to see the differences in his style as opposed to Alan Silvestri.

What if you "woke up with the [burger] king" at your service?

07-05-2010, 03:38 PM
I'd have everything "my way" (kind of like Frank Sinatra).

What if there were aliens on this planet and you accidentally discovered you were one of them?

Darth Avlectus
07-05-2010, 04:09 PM
It would be kinda like that one movie with Rowdy Roddy Piper except I wouldn't be one of the humans.

What if Tommy Vercetti really did clean up Vice City?

07-05-2010, 04:34 PM
then the game would be rated E

What if they came out with GTA:HAXCity?

Darth Avlectus
07-05-2010, 04:55 PM
Someone would probably have used GMOD, and included both yours truly and BasBoSchitt productions from youtube along with whoever else was interested in making the game. :p

What if Mick Foley was your coach?

07-06-2010, 01:47 AM
Before, during or after his sock puppet period?

What if you were a cartoon charahcter and could decide which one?

Darth Avlectus
07-06-2010, 03:34 AM

What if I wasn't that sick ****in' bastard from cowboy bebop and was Quickman instead?

07-06-2010, 10:04 AM
You'd probably be someone else.

What if Dr. Breen ended up on the receiving end of the HAAAAAX! attacks?

Te Darasuum Mandalor
07-06-2010, 11:53 AM
Then he would cry, but he would be silent at it

What if Revan puked on Bastila

Darth Avlectus
07-06-2010, 04:15 PM
Depends where in thei relationship they are.

What if Vice City had a sequel?

07-06-2010, 04:30 PM
It'd probably suffer from sequelitis.

What if George Lucas read a flame-bait email from you and then committed suicide?

Depends where in their relationship they are.
And on what they're doing at the time.

07-06-2010, 07:31 PM
I'd feel terrible, just teeeeerrrible.................then I'd take pictures and sell them to the Inquirer. Because you know...."Inquiring minds want to know". :D

What if Gravity Cat was finally amused?

Te Darasuum Mandalor
07-06-2010, 07:38 PM
Then he would not have such a sad life

What if they did a remake of Plan 9 From Outer Space?

07-06-2010, 09:26 PM
It would probably be just as successful as the first one.

What if Heath Ledger had been Capt Jack instead of Johnny Depp?

Te Darasuum Mandalor
07-06-2010, 09:27 PM
Then he would say "Why so serious commodore!" and then carve out his face

What if Heath Ledger played Qui Gon Jinn in episode 1?

07-06-2010, 09:37 PM
He'd have played the disappearing pencil trick on Jar Jar....w/a lightsaber.

What if Capt Kirk was actually the Emperor.

Te Darasuum Mandalor
07-07-2010, 07:59 AM
Then he would say, "Space, is not the final frontier, these are the voyages of the starship Executer as it enforces rule of my domain, and terror on everybody within the Empire!"

What purifier actually had a girlfriend

07-07-2010, 12:55 PM
:drool2:.......then I'd probably have a freak'in heart attack. :dozey:

What if girlfriends were easy to come by?

Darth Avlectus
07-07-2010, 04:20 PM
They are in some places but I don't think they are exactly desirable. For many reasons I'll not list here.

What if your gas and plumbing was all out of service even though you paid for it?

07-07-2010, 05:18 PM
I'll hax it to make it work

what if i haxed it?

07-07-2010, 06:49 PM
You'd probably have had to pay GTA a franchise fee first.

What if the HAAAAAX! all dried up?

07-07-2010, 07:30 PM
GTA would be out of a job

what if the world and your existence (yes even you GTA) was one HAX made by God?

Darth Avlectus
07-07-2010, 08:00 PM
Then I'd drop the admin security thing and just be a complete jerk. And watch my rodent pr0n. :p

What if you sucked at the internet?

07-17-2010, 05:22 AM
Then the internet police would probably come and pimp slap me into oblivion and take my computer away. :fist: Damn those internet police guys!

What if you had a chance to make it out with Julie from Heavy Metal, FAKK2?


Te Darasuum Mandalor
07-17-2010, 11:01 AM
Then stuff that i shouldn't stay here is inevitable

What if the what if game sucks

07-17-2010, 03:02 PM
Then we, the people who post on the Forum Games, would have one less thread to look at.

What if I could play Republic Commando and Jedi Outcast at the same time?

07-17-2010, 03:04 PM
Then Delta 38 would be a cover for Kyle Katarn.

What if I was The Man Your Man Could Smell Like?

Te Darasuum Mandalor
07-17-2010, 04:50 PM
Then you would use old spice.

What if old spice accually smelled good.

Darth Avlectus
07-17-2010, 06:34 PM
Then more people would use it.

What if you played a piano with your head?

07-18-2010, 11:26 PM
You'd belong in the travelling freak show or on some dumb tv videos program.

What if the sky were red instead of blue?

Darth Avlectus
07-19-2010, 03:48 PM
Our atmosphere could not sustain life.

What if the princess really is just some dumb ditzy hoebag and Mario is wasting his time?

07-19-2010, 04:33 PM
Then Luigi would finally get the Girl

What if Mario and Yoshi had a street fight with Godzilla?

Darth Avlectus
07-20-2010, 09:21 PM
Kraytos would ref the fight.

What if Pete Stark started mouthing off to your family?

07-20-2010, 10:09 PM
Have tape recorder and internet. Will use if necessary.

What would happen if Dr. Wily successfully conquered the world in the year 20xx?

Darth Avlectus
07-21-2010, 06:40 PM
He'd be foolish enough to make a Betrayal Man, and thus his reign would be short lived, then the world would fall into chaos once again.

What if Dr Wily never dies?

07-28-2010, 06:58 PM
Then Mega Man would have job security.

What if Pete Stark never dies and he eventually becomes the next president?
(*purifier prepares for a slinging monkey doody apocalypse*) :ninja2:

Darth Avlectus
07-29-2010, 01:12 AM
Then I guess I know what that demolition hammer I just bought from harbor freight will be used for. I HATE that guy--nutless gutless pigeon toed insecure barn born coward behind a desk and security, there is NO reason to be that rude and nasty unless you're a bounty hunter. He is not.

What if people in Kavar's and Ahto, who have no discernible Native American ancestry, would quit coddling and patronizing us regardless if they are "only trying to be of service" (STFU, you speak noether FOR nor WITH Native Americans). I mean everyone, not just youthful ignorance which I am willing to give a pass on once and forgive, but all those people talking about it 'cuz that ****ing pissed me off.

07-29-2010, 04:04 AM
I got an old prized Elk horn knife that I break out and use to pick my teeth with, when people talk s**t like that to me in real life. They seem to shut the **** up....reeeeal quick. :D (And while I'm doing that I usually say: "Really, REALLY.....hmmmm......are you sure?";))

What if I was to pick my teeth with an Arkansas toothpick instead?

http://www.lucasforums.com/picture.php?albumid=434&pictureid=7117 :dev7:

Darth Avlectus
07-29-2010, 11:22 AM
That would be fine.

What if all the mothers that wore different colors of lipstick every day, of the people I didn't like, would quit wearing all that lipstick and finally stop giving my male dog "special attention"?

08-09-2010, 01:57 PM
Well....then their attention might shift onto you my friend. :D


What if I was to continually beat a dead horse?

Darth Avlectus
08-10-2010, 05:25 AM
You'd be literally living out an old saying.

What if Luke and Palpatine started dissing each others' mammas?

08-10-2010, 12:17 PM

What would happen if Obama and George Bush got in a yo mama fight?

Darth Avlectus
10-07-2010, 07:17 PM
We'd watch with fervor, then all of us facepalm at the ad nauseum news commentary afterwards.

Man I leave for about 2 months and take a peek, this thread don't move much.

What if smoking crack was smoking crap instead?

10-07-2010, 08:17 PM
It'd be a lot less popular.

What if everything caught fire and exploded in the microwave?

Darth Avlectus
10-07-2010, 09:33 PM
I'd be jealous because I didn't ignite it first.

What if I were actually Heat Man?

10-09-2010, 04:14 PM
I could use a man like you...save me tons on heating expenses. ;)

What if a dog bit someone, and they bit the dog back?

Darth Avlectus
10-19-2010, 01:17 AM
I do that when I play. :D (Get your mind out of the gutter :mad: --that's reserved for special specimens :dev11:)

What if I was "a-chargin' mah lazer!!!!11!!!!!11!!1!!!"?

10-19-2010, 08:40 AM
I'd get out of here before you SHOOP DA WHOOP.

What if everything suggested in this thread all happened at once?

Darth Avlectus
10-19-2010, 08:49 PM
Then this thread would go <beeepbeepbeep> WTF?!
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!Muhahahahahaaaahahahaaaaa! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H91rPIq2mN4)

What if I was actually the evil female clone because I murdered the original GTA?

10-19-2010, 11:11 PM
I'd still make creepy passes at you.

What if I was actually your split personality?

Darth Avlectus
10-19-2010, 11:52 PM
Then that would mean you're all just in my head. I don't reckon it's a very hospitable place for anyone.

What if Nintendo continues to botch all its other work like they just did to metroid with Other M?

04-23-2011, 01:39 PM
I thought they already did.

What if aliens came down and pimpslapped my ass for saying "What if?"

Me: Ooo LOOK! Their REAL!

Alien: *SMACK!*

Me: :dozey:

04-23-2011, 01:43 PM
We'd probably all get it too.

What if Syfy really was out to infect everyone with Brain Syphilis, whatever that is?

04-23-2011, 06:55 PM
:drool2: *spitswords* Pu lag-a-gag da blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

[translation] You were saying.

What if the moon was really made of chesse?

04-24-2011, 12:44 AM
Giant space rats would be finishing it up as we speak....so to speak.

What if LF was just a giant nightmare?

04-27-2011, 06:11 PM
I thought is was....to the Admin. :lol:

What if the world stopped spinning and you got dizzy?

04-27-2011, 06:19 PM
Sit down for 5 seconds. That always works

What would you do if you were given a choice : listen to My Jeans by Jenna Rose for the rest of our life or eaten alive?

04-28-2011, 11:32 PM
:raise: What'ya talking about? You listen to that song long enough and you will be eaten alive. Really no choice there man.

What if Sasquatch was recruited by the WWE to wrestle?

04-29-2011, 01:21 AM
And that would be any different how?

What if the great black void is actually someone taking a whiz off the side of the bridge into the water below?

04-29-2011, 08:49 AM
Sounds about right, could be God. :lol:

What if Donald (my hair will be Vice President) Trump did become President?

Darth Avlectus
05-24-2011, 12:52 AM
Nothing much would come of it. Politics is kinda sour to me right now anyways.

What if the rapture had actually happened on may 21st? :roleyess:

Isaac Clarke
05-24-2011, 08:15 AM
Then I would still be talking on these forums.

What if you were raptured, then found out that heaven is just a sewer?

Darth Avlectus
05-25-2011, 11:43 PM
I'd start doing what I do best, finding things to break.

What if there was a star wars beavis and butthead?

05-26-2011, 04:43 AM
There'd be a lot of lightsaber-dildo jokes.....in the film, not just by the fans.

What if porn had been more mainstream and it had been called Star Whores instead?

Darth Avlectus
05-26-2011, 05:17 AM
Ummmm.........................That would not be such far fetched thing. It may actually be a reality, in fact. :smirk2:

What if Vince McMahon, donning the ECW title, actually had the balls to try ECW in its original context, and not in this watered down remake in his image?

12-04-2011, 03:42 PM
Then his opponents would die.

What if My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic had a photorealistic animation style?

12-04-2011, 04:08 PM
ChAinz would be positively orgasmic. :devsmoke:

What if all bronies had to wear a patch declaring their obsession?

Darth Avlectus
12-07-2011, 04:04 PM
The doctors whooves would each have a magic pony incarnation. (http://bronies.memebase.com/)

What if karaoke night was all about embarrassing yourself?

12-11-2011, 11:56 AM
It... isn't?

What if every nation were given exactly one nuke?

12-11-2011, 12:59 PM
The smart ones would reverse engineer it and then mass produce enough to have a big arsenal while the others would try to buy from them. Pretty much the status quo.

What if every nation were allowed to possess only one nuke.....and that rule was strictly enforced by aliens.

12-11-2011, 01:26 PM
One's bad enough as it is.

What if nukes were replaced with warheads packed with butter-knives?

12-13-2011, 08:21 PM
Well then, I guess you'd get a nice spread on any available butter upon impact/detonation.

What if our planet was like a round 3-D Rubix cube, would that mean our problems would be easily solved?

Darth Avlectus
12-13-2011, 11:27 PM
^^^ Ummm..........................

What if we're all just the jackass crew and we don't know it yet?

12-15-2011, 10:38 PM
I'm pretty sure if I was Bam Margera, I'd know.

What if we're actually the Ancients from Stargate, and it's all a multi-million year time-space loop?

12-16-2011, 02:23 AM
It just means were not Cylons.

What if the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything isn't 42?

Darth Avlectus
12-16-2011, 08:25 PM
Then we really are no further away from the answers than we ever were.

What if tonight was the perfect night to do drive by shoutings of idiocy and all manner of obscenity? :dev9:

12-26-2011, 09:22 AM
Sounds like a good time.

What if you found yourself in a parallel universe, which was exactly the same as this one, except everyone's gender was reversed?

12-26-2011, 11:36 AM
Hope that you're not a narcicist, b/c you might end up falling in love w/"yourself". :xp:

What if you got only 3 extra seconds of cooperation from your robots instead of 6?

Darth Avlectus
12-30-2011, 07:36 PM
It would be time to go on an extermination raid.

What if saber doesn't understand my new forum game is based off of a similar sort of game played in 4chan from time to time and all of the maniacal perverted hilarious antics that ensue with each time?

12-30-2011, 08:17 PM
Probably best that he doesn't. You know the reputation that place has.

What if there was such a thing as an Arsonist's Licence?

12-31-2011, 02:10 AM
That'd be pretty hot.

What if Alk's internets # actually decreased w/every click?

12-31-2011, 04:37 PM
In a opposite universe on a opposite Earth it does.

What if a black hole tryed to suck in another black hole, would they get stuck at a certain point and cease to be black holes?

Darth Avlectus
01-01-2012, 09:36 PM
They'd be holy together.

What if Alk's odd genderswp fantasy came true for himself, err herself....itself?

01-01-2012, 10:00 PM
Seriously, meeting a female me from a parallel universe would be awkward on levels I didn't know existed, regardless of what we might do or not do.

What if Geddy Lee were to appear on Epic Meal Time?

Darth Avlectus
01-12-2012, 04:05 AM
I guess it'd be time to Rush to breakfast. (pun intended)

What if the Sith Emperor never dies (even though you killed him physically)?

01-12-2012, 05:33 PM
Sounds like he may have cloning down to a science.

What if all jackasses in the U.S.A. attempted to form a party in government, would they have to adopt another party symbol since the jackass symbol is already taken by another party?

01-12-2012, 10:03 PM
What do you mean "what if"? Haven't they already?!? :devsmoke:

What if Ron Paul actually became the next American president?

01-12-2012, 10:21 PM
Could be worse, I guess. We seem to have more nutjobs this time around.

What if Vermin Supreme became the next American president?

01-13-2012, 12:14 AM
Then he would be the supreme jackass and I would get a pony.

What do you mean "what if"? Haven't they already?!? :devsmoke:

Lol...that was so easy wasn't it? BTW, that's the #1 reply to that question.:D

What if Vermin Supreme exchange his boot hat, after becoming president, for a "Cat in the Hat" hat and spoke/wrote everything in ryhmes?

By decree of Vermin Supreme:
Everyone shall brush their teeth by law,
especially each and every jaw.
I like this bill,
approve it I will.

01-13-2012, 12:52 AM
He'd have a successful post-WH career in hip-hop.

@purifier-- o_Q

What if instead of a pony he promised everyone a baby dragon?

Darth Avlectus
01-15-2012, 12:45 AM
I would hope in that case for an Orligon hatchling.

What if I was the new sith emperor?

02-04-2012, 06:55 PM
Well then...I guess I'd become a Chinese Jet pilot.

What if your favorite car was stolen, yet some years later you see the exact make and year model, but with a different and better color, that you happen to steal on impulse. But by irony, that vehicle turns out to be your orignal vehicle that was stolen from you and they just painted over the orignal color, would you be morally correct of stealing it in the first place?

Darth Avlectus
02-06-2012, 01:56 AM
If it was still in the possession of the arsehole who stole it from you originally, then no because you're taking back what was yours to begin with. If it changed hands since then...you might be better off getting the V.I.N., comparing it to your own and going through proper channels to get it back; this may have failed before but it wouldn't fail now if you had evidence to prove it.

What if you made your TOR females ugly on purpose?

02-06-2012, 04:16 AM
You'd be a contrarian geek.

What if your money were worthless?

Darth Avlectus
02-06-2012, 06:20 AM
I suppose I'd be a little more prepared for the hard times ahead that would ensue than my neighbors who laugh at "being prepared". You know, people who mock some of us that still have oil lamps, and would bother keeping some of the "old ways" for survival that didn't involve internet and GPS. You know, the type of people who don't pay attention to SB510 and what implications that has if you want to grow some of your own food--unlike yourself. Yeah, I'm a *little* more prepared than those folks if our currency were to suddenly become worthless.

What if Armageddon doesn't happen but maybe trends are such that prices go up because supply decreases and demand increases? (I.E. food shortage, oil prices skyrocket, and predictably everything depending on it gets prohibitively expensive for the next two decades at least) Side question: Am I a lunatic for wanting a contingency plan of my own?

02-11-2012, 08:40 PM
It's already happening anyway, but at a somewhat more relaxed pace. But, no, backup plans are eminently reasonable.

What if you're the last living person on earth....how long do you think you'll continue to live?

Darth Avlectus
02-12-2012, 12:42 AM
There's no telling. Of course I'd do a ton of creative things in the meantime. Before I went insane or more likely blank in the mind and became an invalid. (and maybe attempt to repopulate the planet first with carbons which essentially are clones from DNA of dead humans albeit modified--failing that, I'd attempt to create some freakish new creatures...all else fails I'd slaughter all animals in all my primitive glory)

What if everything could be solved with a dead raccoon?

02-12-2012, 02:46 AM
Depends. They'd either be extinct by now or there'd be a really long line for the dead racoon that had all the answers to life's problems.

What if PETA changed its name to Please Eat The Animals and started militantly protesting against veganism?

Isaac Clarke
02-12-2012, 09:49 AM
Then a bunch of hippies would protest against the protests.

What if a rogue group of assassin droids tried to take over the world?

02-12-2012, 05:09 PM
Unless they used WMD, they'd be defeated.

What if there really were easy answers for everything?

Darth Avlectus
02-15-2012, 11:45 PM
Then Celebrity Deathmatch would be back, and Tommy Jordan might have to resort to using his .45 against the TerminatriX to survive a precious minute longer. I am not convinced he holds a candle to Chuck Norris, or for that matter, John Connor. Probably would be a proud soldier in the fight though.

Could Cyborg Zangief successfully prevent nuclear holocaust by headbutting the nuke into submission?

Darth Avlectus
02-15-2012, 11:49 PM
Then Celebrity Deathmatch would be back, and Tommy Jordan might have to resort to using his .45 against the TerminatriX to survive a precious minute longer. I am not convinced he holds a candle to Chuck Norris, or for that matter, John Connor. Probably would be a proud soldier in the fight though.

What if Darth Malgus somehow survived?

Isaac Clarke
02-16-2012, 08:25 AM
Who's Darth Malgus?

What if I didn't post?

Darth Avlectus
02-17-2012, 02:16 AM
My question still would be up there to answer. (As if you didn't know, TOR troll. :xp:)

What if Fry's Electronics had a blowout sale next month?

02-17-2012, 04:14 AM
Then Bender and Lela would score themselves some cheap upgrades.

What if Maxine Waters had a well deserved stroke?

Darth Avlectus
02-18-2012, 04:48 PM
Then good riddance. (Then again, knowing my luck, she'd end up a vegetable in a hospital bed for 30 years and the bill would be passed off to the taxpayers.)

What if Turkey-Neck Dodd "leaned forward" so far he fell on his face and was in a very prone position in front of all the people he ripped off, while Red Foreman's ass kicking class just went in session?

02-18-2012, 10:29 PM
Probably something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enSYlCEz5VI

What if the Reapers of Mass Effect were real?

02-20-2012, 10:50 AM
We've still got a good 174 years left.

What if Minecraft used Havok physics?

Darth Avlectus
02-20-2012, 02:17 PM
That might be interesting as the engine is multi-platform and confirmed to work for a number of popular systems both PC OS' and consoles, might widen its reach.

What if you won the internet?

02-21-2012, 02:19 AM
I'd tell all the countries trying to censor it to kill themselves.

Violent revolution incongruent with your political leanings has gripped your nation! What do?

02-21-2012, 04:51 AM
Kill......or be killed. :dev9:

What if you had a genie that thwarted your every wish?

02-21-2012, 08:14 AM
I'd wish to keep him forever, and he'd be obligated to otherwise.

What if you had a car, that ran on the world's first disobedient AI?

02-21-2012, 02:12 PM
I'd tell it to drive me to the sun, it'll drive me into interstellar space and you'll all be mad jelly.

What if mad jelly was a real fruit preserve?

02-22-2012, 01:18 AM
It'd probably be available in numerous flavors at your local store.

What if Hal were stripped of his barony?