View Full Version : The What if game

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11-12-2008, 09:38 PM
I haven't seen this game on LF yet, but I have seen it elsewhere, so I thought I might as well start one. Quite simple, someone asks a What If question, and the next person answers and posts another, and so on and so forth.

What if the threads I started were actually popular for the most part?

11-13-2008, 01:14 PM
Then the world would end.

What if I think that this is sort of like a restricted "Ask a Stupid Question" thread?

11-13-2008, 10:52 PM
Then you're a smart one.

What if noone else realises that?

11-14-2008, 12:39 PM
Then they're not so good at connective thinking.

What if we're the only ones who post in this thread?

11-14-2008, 06:17 PM
Then we'll be a lonely little thread.

What if the forum blew up?

11-14-2008, 09:48 PM
Then we'd all be very confused as to how something that does not physically exist can explode in the first place.

What if I could solve any problem by hitting it with a wrench?

11-15-2008, 12:17 AM
Then you could make a fortune on problem solving.

What if I could throw any weapon and get a stick?

11-15-2008, 09:13 AM
Then potentially you could be buried in sticks.

What if everyone's gender got switched around?

11-15-2008, 12:59 PM
Then everyone's sexual orientation would be reversed, too.

What if salmonella was something that was actually good for you?

11-15-2008, 03:43 PM
Then we would not need to wash the chicken.

What if the Sun imploded?

11-16-2008, 08:59 AM
Then we'd all get sucked into a black hole.

What if the meanings of the words gravity and gravy got switched around?

Serpentine Cougar
11-16-2008, 09:40 AM
Then Turkeys would be really heavy, and space would be a gooey, tasty mess.

What if George Lucas had never been born?

11-16-2008, 12:54 PM
Then we'd all think that Logan's Run has good special effects.

What if the Caps Lock button had never been invented?

11-16-2008, 02:33 PM
Then the idiots of the internet would wear out their shift keys really fast.

What if we're really in the Matrix?

11-16-2008, 06:49 PM
Then the AI could certainly spice up the world a little bit.

What if every word had a different meaning for every single person?

11-16-2008, 07:28 PM
Then we'd literally all be speaking a different language.

What if the Black Mesa incident really happened?

Darth Avlectus
06-22-2009, 02:36 AM
I don't know, you'll have to ask the Black Mesa.

What if Whacky the camper decided to stay a night in your back yard?

Darth Zavier
06-22-2009, 07:26 PM
I would beat the crap out of him and knock him into next week.

What if Star Wars was real?

Darth Avlectus
06-22-2009, 09:33 PM
I'd master the Vaapad form and beat the crap out of Vader, then go after his boss to avenge Jules in Windu form. And I'd weild silver lightsabers--so you see, I'm not a complete canon whore.

--OH, and if that included RPs that didn't conflict with canon...well, I'd have synth lungs right now b/c my HK unit of mysterious origins from mustafar decided to go all general greivous on me when I least expected it. :swear:

What if that 70's show was real?

06-22-2009, 10:54 PM
Me and Red would go on tour, increasing everyone's ownership of our feet in their asses. :D

What if Cornholio magically appeared on your front doorstep?

06-22-2009, 11:02 PM
^^Ahem...Totenkopf:D Where is the what if?:D

What if Totenkopf had placed a 'what if?'

{Oh...can't pull that on me:D}

06-22-2009, 11:07 PM
^get out of your panzer, the fumes are obscuring your vision. :xp:
What if Cornholio magically appeared on your front doorstep?

What if CQ could actually see what he read? :lol:

Darth Avlectus
06-22-2009, 11:42 PM
We'd all be in danger of our inheritables going to him since he would not be collaterally damaging them in the process of taking us out...

WWYDI Master Chief was a bi woman?

06-23-2009, 12:16 AM
Ummm...try to figure out what's going on between her and Cortana.

What if monkeys suddenly invented nuclear weapons?

^get out of your panzer, the fumes are obscuring your vision. :xp:

What if CQ could actually see what he read? :lol:

Oh...that's just cold, Totenkopf...cold..:D You know the truth....:D

Darth Avlectus
06-24-2009, 04:19 AM
It would be a never ending cold war for whom ever crossed them. With exception of me. Then it's just ninja stars.

WWYDI I was considering making a mod for KOTOR where female characters could wear an outfit like Mai Shiranui?

Ultimate Vader
06-24-2009, 04:39 AM
Well, I think someone has made that some time ago. But I'd like to download yours too. So make it, please!:thmbup1:

What if KOTOR III is released?

06-24-2009, 09:16 AM
(Do you promise that GTA?)

Then Bioshock will we become the next SkyNet.

What if bells had flocks of fish attached to them?

Darth Avlectus
06-25-2009, 12:05 AM
I'd Grab a huge electromagnet next time I go fishing.

(Do you promise that GTA?)
Looking into it right now, at least. Have to dump out all the other stuff in my computer before I can get started--nearly 1 year of stuff can fit on a 320GB HD.

WWYDI your house got pruned, by a tree falling through it? :dev11:

06-26-2009, 02:40 PM
Make prune juice. :xp:

What if you were left all of Michael Jackson's debt and none of his assets?

Darth Avlectus
06-28-2009, 12:50 AM
I'd start killing people with a giant "toy" and jack enough cash to pay it all back.

WWYDI Violent J took a **** on a teacher's desk--belonging to a teacher you resented. Then his buddy Shaggy 2 Dope decided to skullF*** William Ayers with a broomstick through his eyesockets?

06-28-2009, 02:00 AM
I would dance on a small table on one foot, and then proceed to kick both in the face with a rubber-toed boot. {Check out that random word play...BEAT DAT!!:D}

WWYDI you were suddenly transported into any random cartoon world?

06-28-2009, 03:47 AM
Make sure I've got enough of that acid that made the judge such a terror in Tune Town.

What if Samus Aran wanted to kick you in the nether regions?

WWYDI Violent J took a **** on a teacher's desk--belonging to a teacher you resented. Then his buddy Shaggy 2 Dope decided to skullF*** William Ayers with a broomstick through his eyesockets?

I'd applaud them, for starters. ;)

Darth Avlectus
06-29-2009, 12:37 AM
I'd get a belt with Spawn's belt buckle to guard that area for me.

What if Wesley Willis really whooped superman's ass?

06-29-2009, 01:53 AM
It'd be proof that you'd have to be "out of your mind" to even fight superman, nevermind winning.

What if you were illiterate?

Darth Avlectus
06-29-2009, 02:04 AM
No big deal...I'd just be a statistic. I sort of already am since I don't care to utilize my college-bound-from early-days-high-reading-and-comprehension level anymore. Not while I'm out of the loop of school.
Wesley Willis is hell of win like that.
What if Terminators could "S*** with you" in a conversation?

06-29-2009, 02:08 AM
Well, if they're the later models, you'd never know....would you (until the second or so before/as they terminated you).

What if there were no more music (ie people lost the ability to make it)?

Darth Avlectus
06-29-2009, 11:20 PM
Then you'd have MTV...oh wait, we already do. Because it sounds like people are using their other mouth to play the flute like that one celebrity deathmatch.

What if lime jawbreakers were outlawed?

07-08-2009, 07:35 PM
Then people would enjoy them illegally.

What if Paint Drinking Pete was a real person?

Darth Avlectus
07-12-2009, 11:42 PM
He'd be really we-todd-ed...or die from paint poisoning.

What if you smelled like...feet wrapped in leathery burnt bacon? (Just like what Palpatine said Vader probably smelled like after 2 weeks astray in space!)

07-13-2009, 01:42 AM
You'd still smell better than jarod.

What if Beavis and Butthead went to South Park?

07-13-2009, 01:53 AM
Then the necessary bleeping would shatter every piece of glass in the world.

What if everyone on the internet but you is really an AI?

07-13-2009, 01:56 AM
You mean its not?

What if the people here had lives?

07-13-2009, 01:59 AM
Then we'd all be doomed.

What if Bigfoot was stalking you?

07-13-2009, 02:00 AM
I'd know pretty fast, and deal with him.

What if headcrabs were real?

07-13-2009, 02:00 AM
My redneck cousin Billy-Joe would shoot 'em and use him as a rug.

What if the Yeti was stalking you?

Edit-- Darn! Alkonium beat me to it!

07-13-2009, 02:01 AM
I would challenge him to a duel, in balloons, using blunderbusses.

What if the Loch Ness Monster was in your pool?

07-13-2009, 02:02 AM
Sushi time!

What if the Loch Ness Monster was in your bed?

07-13-2009, 02:04 AM
I'd go to the local hotel.

What if the Loch Ness monster was in your bath tub...with you?

07-13-2009, 02:05 AM
He'd die.

What if the Yeti was in bed with you?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 02:06 AM
As long as Bigfoot doesn't find out than I'm good.

What if CommanderQ was in bed with you?

07-13-2009, 02:07 AM
*Screams and runs away*

What if CQ was in a tank outside your window?

07-13-2009, 02:09 AM
I'd blow you up:D

What if you guys suddenly disappeared, and were relocated to a desolate location in Siberia?

07-13-2009, 02:10 AM
I'd bring my thermal underpants:xp:

What if CQ suddenly disappeared?

07-13-2009, 02:10 AM
He'd probably be acting on the orders of the Bob.

What if Jabba the Hutt had you in his harem?

07-13-2009, 02:12 AM
I would summon THE BOB to destroy him.

What if you were one of THE CHOSEN OF BOB.:D

07-13-2009, 02:12 AM
I'd take pictures of CQ and Cyborg Ninja in dancer outfits and post them here. :xp:

What if Totenkopf was really Jabba?

07-13-2009, 02:16 AM
Then I'd throw you in the sarlacc pit. He's hungry, don't ya know.

What if TMM was only a slimy rodian?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 02:16 AM
I'd poke him to see if TMM was really slimey

What if Bill Cosby was hiding under your bed?

07-13-2009, 02:18 AM
I'd ask him for some jello.

What if Fat Albert were hiding under your bed?

07-13-2009, 02:18 AM

What if Bill Cosby was trying to kill you?

07-13-2009, 02:18 AM
I'd give him some Jell-O.

What if people stopped calling me a slimy Rodian. :xp:

07-13-2009, 02:19 AM
They'd called you something worse.

What if I was in your bed?

07-13-2009, 02:20 AM
I'd blow up my bed.

What if I was in your bed?

07-13-2009, 02:21 AM
Then the world would end:D

What if you were in fact...a very slimy rodian?

07-13-2009, 02:22 AM
What if I posted a picture of myself to prove that I'm not?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 02:22 AM
I'd go omg its a pic of someone I dont know

What if I was CQ?

07-13-2009, 02:23 AM
I'd believe it.

What if CQ was a Rodian?:D

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 02:24 AM
Than its Rodian hunting time.

What if Alkonium and I started a gang and took over Disney World, how happy is that place now?

07-13-2009, 02:26 AM
Still happy. Your gang was small and a little girl beat you up.

What if CQ was really a woman?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 02:32 AM
Than CQ is quite the actor, or actress in this case.

What if TMM and I pulled off the ultimate heist, and stole all the gold in the world.

07-13-2009, 02:33 AM
I'd whack you and take it for myself.

What if I sent a friend request to the Cyborg Ninja?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 02:36 AM
I'd accept cause you never mess with a Mando.

What if CQ was really Ronald McDonald?

07-13-2009, 02:38 AM
You mean he isn't?

What if I was really everyone else?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 02:40 AM
Than you sir deserve a medal for running this enitre website and keeping it active.

What if Bill Cosby was a Pokemon?

07-13-2009, 02:42 AM
Than Jello would be his main weapon.

What if we were the only ones in this thread?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 02:43 AM
It would mostly be CQ jokes and even more randomness.

What if we weren't insane?

07-13-2009, 02:46 AM
Then all the fun in the world would cease to exist.

What if one of us suddenly left?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 02:50 AM
Than there goes half the party.

What if we all got superpowers?

07-13-2009, 02:52 AM
We are already insane, why cause more pain for the world?:D

What would happen if we suddenly got lives or girlfriends?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 02:55 AM
We would actually have stuff to do everyday.

What if Battlefront 3 came out today?

07-13-2009, 02:56 AM
The universe would turn inside out due to the anomaly of LucasArts doing something the fans actually want.

What if they announced BF3, RC2, KotOR3, and JK4 tomorrow?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 02:58 AM
Id have to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

What if Obi-Wan and Anakin had a dance off instead of a duel in Episode III?

07-13-2009, 03:01 AM
Anakin would have fallen right into the lava instead of near the lava.:D

What if I said I could do a little break dancing?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 03:02 AM
I would be impressed.

What if I challenged your break dance moves with my robot moves?

07-13-2009, 03:03 AM
I'd laugh.:xp:

What if... I couldn't think of a question?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 03:06 AM
I couldn't answer it.

What if I told you CQ was plotting to over throw you as Mandalore?

07-13-2009, 03:07 AM
I'd laugh.:D

What if these posts actually added to our post counts?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 03:10 AM
We'd be very happy.

What if we made our own Star Wars game?

07-13-2009, 03:11 AM
LucasArts would send its hit men after us.

What if we owned LucasArts?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 03:15 AM
This website probably wouldn't exist then, and there would be riots in the streets.

What if we made Star Wars?

07-13-2009, 03:17 AM
We would be rich, famous, and have girlfriends.

What if we controlled the moon?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 03:20 AM
We'd go to war with earth with our martian allies.

What if we were 1000ft tall?

07-13-2009, 03:21 AM
We'd be a lot heavier.:laughing:

What if we had real Beskar'gam?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 03:24 AM
We start a real life Clan.

What if CQ was you buir?

07-13-2009, 03:26 AM

What if he was your Buir?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 03:28 AM
Its not true, that's Impossible!

What if an Elite and a Mandalorian met one another?

07-13-2009, 03:30 AM
They'd shake hands.:D

What if an Ewok tried to become a Mandalorian?:lol:

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 03:32 AM
I would be so scared I wouldn't know what to do.

What if Boba Fett and Master Chief went up against the Empire?

07-13-2009, 03:33 AM
The Death Star would wet itself.

What if all the Halo Soldiers decided to become Mandalorians?

Cyborg Ninja
07-13-2009, 03:36 AM
The war between jedi and sith would have ended a long time ago and everyone would bow down to the Mandalorians, fearing them more than they did before.

What if I decided to get some sleep cause I'm going down to the shore tomorrow?

07-13-2009, 03:39 AM
I would do the same...

What if?

07-13-2009, 05:57 PM
Why not?

What if not?

07-13-2009, 06:00 PM
Then huh!

What if Al Gore and Totenkopf were left in a room together. And Totenkopf was holding a baseball bat?

07-13-2009, 06:02 PM
Anthropogenic "global" warming would occur on the orb that is gore's head.

What if TMM we're forced to marry Janet Reno?

07-13-2009, 06:04 PM
He'd commit suicide.

What if Totenkopf were forced to marry Janet Reno?

07-13-2009, 06:06 PM
I'd be the minister and you'd still be the groom. *funeral dirge commences* :devsmoke:

What if the world broke out of it's orbit and went looking for another star?

07-13-2009, 06:08 PM
Why would it? I'm already right here!:D

What if Totenkopf was kicked out of the Earth's atmosphere?

07-13-2009, 06:10 PM
He'd blow the Earth up w/his Orbiting Death Star.

What if all the animals on your farm died and left you penniless?

07-13-2009, 06:12 PM
I'd have a huge meal (guess what's in it:dev6:)

What if I shipped all my animal's manure to your bedroom?

07-13-2009, 06:13 PM
I'd have GTA's former pet monkey fling animal crap at you till it was all gone. He's really good at that.

What if the sun exploded 6 minutes ago?

07-13-2009, 06:14 PM
Then I wouldn't have posted this.

What if all the manure was on top of GTA's former pet monkey?

07-13-2009, 06:18 PM
Not a problem. He's persistent and relentless, though somewhat fickle. Just ask GTA.

What if you ate all that manure first?

07-13-2009, 06:19 PM
Not a problem. Its really chocolate with gummy worms.:D

What if I put Totenkopf on the back of my meanest horse?

07-13-2009, 06:23 PM
Your horse would be instantly tamed/broken.

What if your meanest horse kicked you in your unmentionables?

07-13-2009, 06:25 PM
I'm wearing a cup.

What if a horse kicked Al Gore in the unmentionables?

07-13-2009, 06:27 PM
Not sure it would make any difference, he's not really human anyway.

What if NK really fired a missle at Tokyo?

07-13-2009, 06:28 PM
It would fall in the ocean.

What if KJI dropped dead right now?

07-13-2009, 06:32 PM
Some other putz would take his place (but there'd be rejoicing elsewhere).

What if Penn & Teller did an episode of BULL****! based on your life?

07-13-2009, 11:09 PM
The show would be canceled due to low ratings.

What if you had your own TV show?

Darth Avlectus
07-14-2009, 12:42 AM
I'd call it making fun of Mandalorians who have no choice but to put up with it b/c they work for you...and there's a wookiee nearby who loves every minute of it.

What if Ned the sicko was now stalking Liberty City?

07-14-2009, 12:46 AM
We'd have no choice but to nuke him, along with the city...*hides hidden agenda*

What if your computer suddenly gained control of your house and was trying to kill you?

07-14-2009, 12:47 AM
I'd go to your house.

What if your computer were an attractive woman?

Darth Avlectus
07-14-2009, 07:46 PM
Do we *really* need an answer for that? :naughty: I'd certainly give her a hug to start. :dev9:

What if your only choice was either suffer with lice forever or risk getting killed by a bug zapper to make it go away?

07-14-2009, 10:32 PM
I'd go for the bug zapper. That's more proactive.

What if people switched from doing illegal drugs to dangerous chemicals?

07-14-2009, 11:22 PM
That would be good. People would still die, but now they would at least glow an attractive shade of green:xp:.

What if, you switched the taste and textures of mud, and Jello?

Serpentine Cougar
07-15-2009, 12:06 AM
I wouldn't eat Jello. Which isn't much of a change as I don't eat it much now anyway.

What if all the Sith ever defeated were all resurrected at the same time?

07-15-2009, 12:12 AM
Ouch time!

What if the Jedi actually did what they were supposed to do?

Darth Avlectus
07-15-2009, 08:49 PM
Some alien species would whoop all their hides.

What if Jason Voorhees decided to take down Minnesota?

07-15-2009, 09:06 PM
I'd put a name tag on you that said "Minnesota".

What if jmac stopped by and decided to say something rude?

Darth Avlectus
07-15-2009, 10:06 PM
I'd give him a warm welcome since he can't stand me anyways, and never had the character to ask me what my problem is with him. I'll put it bluntly: I don't like bullies. He finds me distasteful? Good. I find him no less distasteful.

What if Playstation 3 had a version made of chocolate?

07-15-2009, 10:15 PM
They'd get sued by Wonka for stealing their idea.:xp:

What if PC's and Mac's looked like the ones in the Mac commercials?

Darth Avlectus
07-15-2009, 10:20 PM
I'd poke them with sticks.

What if smelly ugly people started walking around naked?

07-15-2009, 10:30 PM
I'd tell you to put some clothes on (:pjust kidding bro!)

Too harsh?

Darth Avlectus
07-16-2009, 10:22 PM
No, not for a hippopautamus. :xp:

I'd tell you to put some clothes on (:pjust kidding bro!)

If that was a wish that'd already be granted, no downfalls there. :xp:
Unfortunately it only takes effect for me, which means the other 99.9999999% of the world would still be naked and smelly.

Why does the chief go ballistic when you wear a hat in his office?

07-17-2009, 12:28 AM
Because he doesn't look good in one.

What if it was?

Darth Avlectus
07-17-2009, 03:39 AM
It would be nudity day if it was.

What if the monkey army invaded your home town and flung a gigantic flaming doodey from a tank trebuchet right into your local fire station?

07-17-2009, 03:45 AM
That would be the most exciting think to happen in Crete in years.

What if the same thing happened in your town?

Darth Avlectus
07-18-2009, 03:07 AM
Depends where you're talking about: Central Valley/Sacramento CA I stay at (and bounce/link to my parents' place to hide my IP), sure why not, it could use a good sprucing up. This place is ghetto.
Currently staying: BAD, that angora highlands fire in 2007 was enough, it'd get hosed down at the drop of a hat plus it's a police state here.

Monkey fling doodey in Bob's front yard.

07-18-2009, 02:17 PM
Bob wouldn't stand a chance against the fury of the monkeys.

What if Bob started flinging monkey doodey at GTA:SWcity.

Darth Avlectus
07-21-2009, 05:10 AM
I'd appear to be everywhere at once and he'd still miss me, I'd close in when he slipped up and ran out of monkey doodey, and it would seem like I was weilding 8 "toys" (picked up from the san andreas police department) instead of just one. He'd get the ultimate "toy" beating of a lifetime. "Toy Juyo/Vapaad" I'd call the form.

What if the sith marauder masks here all collected up by the mandalorians and they could reclaim their honor?

07-21-2009, 05:30 AM
We would win. Oya Mando'ade!

What if people could eat rocks?

Darth Avlectus
07-21-2009, 06:20 AM
We'd all have a *really painful* time on the toilet when it exits the other end--and you better not laugh about hemorrhoids, since you have yet to discover what I'm talkin' about there buster.

What if the princess had no choice but to accept weegie b/c Mario came out of the closet?

07-21-2009, 01:26 PM
Then she'd have to compete with Mario for "Weegie's" affections.:barf:

What if Adam hadn't eaten the fruit?

Darth Avlectus
07-22-2009, 08:26 PM
We would not be here or as stupid as we are. :devsmoke:

What if I had a monkey petting zoo?

07-22-2009, 08:47 PM
I would unleash 'The Monkey Flu' into it. Probably get the disease named after me after the first 3000 victims....BWAHAHAHAAHAH!:D

What if you were stuck in an anime with a retarded-pokemon trying to kiss you and a strange card-person trying to kill you? {try to beat that weirdness!:D}

07-22-2009, 08:49 PM
I would wake up:D
What if I bought a banana and ate it in front of a gorilla(in cage:D)

07-22-2009, 08:55 PM
I'd let the Gorilla out:D

What if a Monkey had you on a leash and was forcing you to dance to a strange gypsy box crank music thingy?

07-22-2009, 09:04 PM
I'd shoot myself:D
What if your worst nightmare came true?

07-22-2009, 09:10 PM
Then I'd be in a room with CommanderQ.

What if CommanderQ was a woman?

07-22-2009, 09:15 PM
Then his(or her:xp:) avy and sigpic wouldn't fit her:xp:
What if CQ reads that?^^

07-22-2009, 09:20 PM
That is a disturbing thought. I would destroy everything:D

What if Te Mirdala Mand'alor was a whoopsie?

Darth Avlectus
07-22-2009, 11:45 PM
I'd scrape him up off the sidewalk and put him on the grill--of my nemesis' barbecue set.

What if Home Alone was actually a violent gay porn, co-starring Michael Jackson and the bad guys were not called the wet bandits, but the butt-bandits? :dev8:

Cyborg Ninja
07-23-2009, 12:07 AM
The parents who bought that video for their kids thinking it was a family film are gonna be all kinds of pissed.

What if Ninjas, Pirates, Zombies, and Robots all got into a four way war?

07-23-2009, 12:21 AM
It would make an awesome video game series.:D

What if Michael Bolten decided to declare war on Full House?

07-23-2009, 09:45 PM
Nobody would care, that show's been off the air for more than ten years.

What if I spoke out against the WBC until the alias God?

Darth Avlectus
07-30-2009, 12:52 AM
I dunno, you'd have to ask 'them'.

What if I was that old janitor/farmer/serial killer guy on beavis and butthead? :devsmoke:

07-30-2009, 12:54 AM
You'd be a cartoon.

What if no one posted after this one?

Darth Avlectus
07-30-2009, 12:56 AM
This thread would be dead with your name as the last to post, but that ain't happenin' now, buster.

What if that same farmer guy was plinkin' his hoarseys all drunk'n' stuff?

07-30-2009, 01:00 AM
Well, he might get a kick out of it. :devsmoke:

What if you don't have Big Baby Sweet's money.....mutha *****?

Darth Avlectus
07-30-2009, 01:14 AM
Depends: whose mamma is he talking to?

What if you knew a song that got on everybody's nerves?

07-30-2009, 01:17 AM
I'd blare it from a secret location and drive everyone temporarily insane while I took all their worldly possessions.

What if noone ever found out it was me that did it?

Darth Avlectus
07-30-2009, 01:23 AM
Impossible: I can be even more obnoxious, so I'd know.

What if someone %^&*'d with big baby sweets' money?

08-07-2009, 02:35 AM
Then it'd be very sticky, and noone would want to spend it.

What if GTA:SWcity didn't overestimate his jerkiness?

08-08-2009, 04:00 AM
Nothing would really change. :dev9:

What if Kreai really were Handmaiden's mother...

Darth Avlectus
08-08-2009, 04:30 AM
The debate over it (already having reached that conclusion by majority) could now be given a rest because it is a cow that has been milked dry. (Learn some spelling, ya big oafy hairball!)

What if Alkonium needed a bath?

08-08-2009, 05:07 AM
Then GTA would happily provide that service for him.....personally.

What if all the soap in the world disappeared?

Darth Avlectus
08-08-2009, 10:54 PM
Then Totenkopf would happily make some, personally. :naughty:

What if someone let the dogs out to crap in Totenkopf's yard?

08-09-2009, 03:04 AM
Then GTA would be forced to eat all of it and thank Totenkopf for the privilege of allowing GTA to wear a sh*t-eating grin. :D

What if the world blew up because of something stupid you did?

Tobias Reiper
08-09-2009, 03:12 AM
We'd all be dead, but at least nobody would know it was me who screwed up.

What if the Old Dancing Man of Six Flags was as large as Godzilla and started doing his dance in the middle of New York while the song played so loud everybody could hear it?

Darth Avlectus
08-09-2009, 04:59 PM
I'd bazooka the thing to deat and tell whoever is operating the music to turn it down or at least change the song to something that doesn't suck.

Then GTA would be forced to eat all of it and thank Totenkopf for the privilege of allowing GTA to wear a sh*t-eating grin. :D

Actually, I pretended to do that so big chuck could sneak in and pour turbo lax in your drink. :dev9: What I really did, though was use all the dog crap to bake a "chocolate cake" for Barney Frank. Hope you don't mind I used your tupperwear and your fridge...BTW you might wanna check your stuff'd animal collection. :dev11:

What if Tasmanian devils decided your leg was lunch?

Serpentine Cougar
08-23-2009, 09:41 AM
My leg would be in a bottomless pit of a stomach.

What if dogs sprouted wings?

08-24-2009, 12:19 AM
You wouldn't need to shoot the duck.

What if GTA disappeared?

Darth Avlectus
08-25-2009, 08:37 PM
Then TMM would take up the mantle of LF jerk. :xp:

What if pruning jobs included pruning the house by felling a tree?

08-25-2009, 09:00 PM
Then I would be the best pruner in the world:D

What if I was suddenly given the command of a large Federation of Countries, and I took complete and utter control of LF? *Beat that weirdness!!:D*

08-25-2009, 09:09 PM
I'd go to the Brothers All Forums.:xp:

What if LF ceased to exist?

08-25-2009, 09:14 PM
Then there would be no reason to let you live...BWAHAHAHAAH!!! *Activates bomb* :D

Where are the cows?

08-25-2009, 09:15 PM
Where the cows go.

What does it mean?

08-25-2009, 09:19 PM
It means the cows are attacking your farm,

Who you gonna call!!!!!!??????:D

08-25-2009, 09:22 PM
Yo Mamma!

Who you gonna call????!!!!

Mandalore The Shadow
08-25-2009, 09:25 PM

What if I called Ghostbusters?

Darth Avlectus
08-25-2009, 09:28 PM
I'd drain every supernatural pest from your home for half their price.

Who you gonna call????!!!!

(He *IS* Cornholio.)

What if I asked you to get me some teepee for my bunghole?

08-25-2009, 09:31 PM
I'd tell you #&%&^(#$!
(I kid, I kid:p)

What if I told you to tell him to say to her to mail a letter to he who will take over the world...

Darth Avlectus
08-25-2009, 09:36 PM
I'd would just as well take over the world b/c that would take about the same amount of time to do it myself. :dev9:

What if Donkey Kong was in your bath tub?

Mandalore The Shadow
08-25-2009, 09:37 PM
I would get in with him

What if I did a backfilp?

Darth Avlectus
08-25-2009, 09:40 PM
I'd congratulate you and tell you you're on your way to becoming a street fighter for Capcom.

What if Lob Dobbs wanted an interview with you?

08-26-2009, 02:00 AM
He would either agree with my terms for world domination, or he would suddenly find himself in Siberia. And worse.:D

What if you parachuted out of a plane and landed in George Bush's house?

Darth Avlectus
08-29-2009, 04:47 AM
I'd probably whip out my exploding doodie grenade and make a break for the nearest window. It's just S.O.P. for me.

What if real life applied to SMB and how many times the princesses have been kidnapped?

Serpentine Cougar
08-31-2009, 09:24 AM
We would all be looking at the wrong castles.

What if you had a dream that told you to sacrifice your only child to the Shrike?

Darth Avlectus
09-01-2009, 10:41 PM
I'd deck whoever it was whispering in my ear as I slept. Or toss a boot. Or take that kind of personal intrusion as consent for something really :naughty:.

What if Cheech and Chong did one more tour together?

09-01-2009, 11:23 PM
Then tickets would be impossible to get....we're already a bit late......

What if Chuck Norris took over the world?

09-02-2009, 12:09 AM
We'd all be dead from the shear POWAH emanating from him.

What if everything related to "Twilight" disappeared?

Darth Avlectus
09-06-2009, 03:42 AM
That would suck.

What if you were hairy like a dog, strong like a gorilla, and you were tall and smelly?

09-06-2009, 04:41 AM
I'd be Chewbacca's brother in-law.

What if the sasquatch was standing in front of you?

09-06-2009, 04:28 PM
He'd pobably look like you, but be powerful instead of pitiful. :dev9:

What if the soda tax went up to 50 cents a bottle?

09-06-2009, 09:06 PM
I'd stockpile it before it went to 75.

What if you had a chance to win a million dollars?

09-06-2009, 09:42 PM
Then I'd do whatever possible to win the money.

What would happen if the Earth got invaded by aliens?

09-06-2009, 10:49 PM
I'd do the thing that rednecks do about aliens.

What if Ping's name got changed to ing.

09-06-2009, 11:03 PM
You'd probably P yourself.

What if the Cookie Monster were real?

09-06-2009, 11:14 PM
You mean he isn't?



What if emoticons flashed above peoples heads to display emotion.

09-07-2009, 01:18 AM
That'd make life so much easier...

What if I shot myself in the foot and blamed the gun control laws?

09-07-2009, 01:49 AM
I'd sue you for no good reason.

What if someone did sue you?

Darth Avlectus
09-07-2009, 05:46 AM
I'd eat all sorts of hot sauce and puke it all up on that person. I melted PVC plastic once like that. :dev11:

What if the soda tax went up to 50 cents a bottle?
I'd stockpile it before it went to 75.

Whaddya think I've been doing?! :dev11:

Hard to do, though, if you're a friend of the owner of this place (http://www.energydrinkoutlet.com/index.php?cur_cat=alph_W&LIST_BY=no) with all its expensive "stims". I'm sure mandalorians love stims.

I'd do the thing that rednecks do about aliens.
*grabs shotgun*
:dev11:Then that thar' little green critter be lookin' mighty tasty!:dev11:

What if you beat that unidetified sith warrior and were a target of the sith empire?

09-07-2009, 11:32 AM
Get out the old 12 gauge and have some fun on them sithies!

What if you do if Darth Revan challenged you to a duel to the death?

09-07-2009, 12:20 PM
Cheat and get Yoda to kill him instead.

What would happen if the Sith appeared at your house with activated lightsabers?

09-07-2009, 01:05 PM
Get out the old 12 gauge and have some fun on them sithies!
Do I need to say it again?:xp:

What if someone offered to sell you a box of plutonium?

Darth Avlectus
09-07-2009, 04:24 PM
I'd say that you were full of it. (Don't even get me started on why!)

What if you weren't full of it?

09-07-2009, 05:06 PM
I'd be the exact opposite of you :xp:

What if GTA wasn't a jerk?

Darth Avlectus
09-07-2009, 07:13 PM
I may not be for much longer, so you can wait and wonder. :xp:

What if you had a pet monkey whose name was "Spank"?

09-07-2009, 11:53 PM
He'd probably get arrested for public lewdness. :xp:

What if what weren't really a word?

Darth Avlectus
09-08-2009, 12:17 AM
I guess Jules would have to find some other word to get his own dander riled up about.

What if that salesman dude wanted what was in your pocket? :dev11:

09-08-2009, 12:57 AM
I'd stab him with it (he's a sick sick man).:xp:

What if I gave him what was in your pocket?

Darth Avlectus
09-08-2009, 01:08 AM
Welcome to it. It's rat turds from my pet rat when I went on a walk today. :p

What if you were the allmighty bunghole?

09-08-2009, 01:11 AM
I'd be you.

What if you were buried in used toilet paper?

Darth Avlectus
09-08-2009, 01:17 AM
It would most likely be from myself so that's okay. I'd bathe you in it next! :xp:

What if you were that demented janitor serial killer on that haloween episode of B&B? :dev11:

09-08-2009, 01:32 AM
Probably plotting as to how I was going to ****ing bury someone alive in used toilet paper.

What if your pants fell down to your shoes, while you were giving a speech to everyone?

Darth Avlectus
09-08-2009, 01:40 AM
I'd be so hairy people couldn't decide wether to call me wookiee or bigfoot.

What if beavis worked as the cook at the restaurant you just ate at...you're on your way out and you see him acting like he has scabies, or at least an "itch"? :xp:

09-08-2009, 02:01 AM
:barf: and after that I would grab the nearest fire extinguisher - spray his ass down with it, then smack him upside the head with it.

What if ya fell down a rabbit hole like Alice, but it turned out to be a sleeping giant's butt crack?

09-08-2009, 02:43 AM
I'd find my way to his lungs and see what effect my gas had on his breathing.:dev11:

What if the villains from LotR decided that you were their mortal enemy.

09-08-2009, 08:10 PM
Get Palpatine to Force Storm them.

What would happen if the Republic Commando Scorch guest starred on Mythbusters?

Tobias Reiper
09-08-2009, 10:36 PM
I'd watch it.

What if I had the power to make people sexy?

Darth Avlectus
09-08-2009, 11:22 PM
You'd be using it all the time and everyone who is considered hot is now mediocre...and if this power was in the ruin a wish foundation, I'd ruin it, unless totenkopf and his wookiee girlfriend ruin it first...or that crazy mandalorian hillbilly that helped me hunt down elvis ruined it first.

What if Spank the magical monkey decided you were his target for doodey-flings while holding your mamma hostage?

09-08-2009, 11:26 PM
*glares @GTA* I don't care what kind of lies you spread, you ain't my girlfriend ya homo.

I'd use my awesome telekinetic abilities to redirect the "artillery" and bury you in the doodey.

What if GTA finally shaved his sorry self?

Darth Avlectus
09-08-2009, 11:35 PM
It'd be a limited excursion and I'll leave all the nasty hairs in your couch. :xp:

*glares @GTA* I don't care what kind of lies you spread, you ain't my girlfriend ya homo.

Settle down, oh excitable one. I was referring to the fat redneck bag lady who played sugarbear's GF. Like lots to love there, eh? :naughty:

What if totenkopf wasn't drunk all the time? :dev10:

09-08-2009, 11:47 PM
Then he'd be GTA. :devsmoke:

What if Sugarbear messed w/Big Baby's mother effing $$?

Darth Avlectus
09-09-2009, 12:10 AM
Then he'd have to arrest sweets, but then again, sweets' own mamma took care of him pretty good with that revolver.

What if the cookie monster decided to rob your house?

09-09-2009, 12:19 AM
Well, if Darth Insidious is correct, I'd have to have D333 deported back to Canada.

What if GTA really were Johnny Brennan in person?

Darth Avlectus
09-09-2009, 12:33 AM
Then I'd be fat and curse like a sailor--and be responsible for managing the Jerky Boys as well being known and remembered as the chief who epically beat down officer Harry Cox for discourteous entry while wearing a "stupid effing hat".

What if Totenkopf was really Mick Foley--errm, Cactus 'Sack'?

09-09-2009, 01:23 AM
Foley gave campaign donations to Barack Obama. [51]

I'd kill myself.

What if Wrestling were real?

09-09-2009, 01:25 AM
The universe would turn inside out from the sheer shock of it happening.

What if I were standing behind you right now.:dev11:

09-09-2009, 01:33 AM
You'd have slipped into the abyss I just got finished staring down into before turning around and facing the opposite direction. :dev9:

What if cats and dogs could fly?

09-09-2009, 01:35 AM
Birds would go extinct.

What if man could fly without the assistance of machinery?

09-09-2009, 02:03 AM
Then he would be either a freak of nature, superman, or god.

What if crap could fly without the aid of monkeys? (Oooh, Oooh, there goes a brown bomber right now!)

09-09-2009, 02:05 AM
The monkeys would be out of work (blasted economy!)

What if flying monkeys swarmed your house?

Darth Avlectus
09-09-2009, 02:09 AM
Then thereby assuming the doodie sitch is still in effect, they would be a lot like diddy kong. mischief.

What if Toni Cippriatti didn't succeed and mob lord Leone was still stuck in the clink by the time GTA3 came around?

09-09-2009, 02:10 AM
Then the game would suck and you would have to change your name.

What if you could turn invisible at will?

09-09-2009, 02:13 AM
Then I'd be the "master of diguise.'

What if King Kong took a leak on your house?

Darth Avlectus
09-09-2009, 03:18 AM
It would be as bad if godzilla took a dump on your house.

What if Rangiku Matsumoto from Bleach were your mother?

09-09-2009, 03:54 AM
Then I'd be pimping her ass off like crazy. ( Yeeaaah, that's right buddy. 50 dolla to make you holla. Hey yo, watch out for the sword man, she might stick that where you don't want yo.

What if Maj. Motoko Kunsanagi from Ghost in the Shell was your sister?

Darth Avlectus
09-09-2009, 04:17 AM
I'd have the excuse I needed to smite her so you can't get any form her. >:^}

What if you were Tom Anderson and your house just got 'pruned'? :dev11:

09-10-2009, 01:11 AM
I would avenge it, by pruning the person who did it. *Prune Prune*

What if Chuck Norris went back in time and challenged himself to a duel of epic proportions?

09-10-2009, 02:00 AM
The universe would explode.

What if Chuck Norris decided that CQ was his worst enemy?

09-10-2009, 02:06 AM
Then we would be evenly matched:D Well, maybe not, only if he shaved the beard:D

What if Te Mirdala Mand'alor was a dung farmer?:D

09-10-2009, 02:10 AM
You mean he isn't?

What if Chuck and Bob dueled at the dawn of time?

09-10-2009, 02:12 AM
We wouldn't exist.

What if Bob decided that he hated your face?

09-10-2009, 02:14 AM
He'd probably give me an unbearable punishment....he'd make me look like you. :xp:

What if Bob AND Chuck hated you?

09-10-2009, 02:15 AM
I'd turn them against each other with my mir'sheb remarks.

What if Bob insulted your mother?

09-10-2009, 02:17 AM
Then Chuck would insult yours.

What if Bob and Chuck decided to leave the universe to it's own devices?

09-10-2009, 02:22 AM
Nothing would happen.

What if Bob and chuck had never existed?

09-10-2009, 02:24 AM
*emergency broadcast* This is all just an illusion *end*

What if you were a horse's arse?

09-10-2009, 02:27 AM
I'd kick you repeatedly.

What if you were turned into a wild burro?