View Full Version : [Fic] In the end...

11-18-2008, 01:39 PM
Prison 19
Kessel Asteroid System
Five Years before the Battle of Yavin

"Ready, Aim, FIRE!" Said the Chief Guardsman as he waved the firing squad to execute the prisoner lined up against the bloodstained wall.

The squad fired, and the prisoner twitched with the impact. He then slowly crumpled to the ground, leaving four red marks on the wall behind him.

The Chief Guardsman did an about face and looked at the large prison in front of him.

"Let's grab the next inmate and complete their sentences."

The group of heavily armed guardsman walked into the prison, looking for the next "Death Row" victim.

The prison was filled with the sounds of fear, agony, and anger as the guardsman walked down the prison corridors. Amongst the chaos, though, a lone middle-aged inmate, remained silent in his cell. The shadow of his cell's bars spread shadows over his face.

Why did you do what you did? the man thought.

He countered it with, You needed the money, you took the goods and you left. I was trying to survive...

The man hung his head in shame, Do I have anything to leave behind that is worth remembering? Besides the shame of what has happened?

Suddenly, the man in the next cell broke the lonely man out of his trance.

"Hey, you! Do you want your bread, cuz' I'm hungry and you ain't eating."

The man nodded and gave the plate to the man on the other side of the bars.

The other man took it greedily, "So, uh, you look kinda' like your thinkin' too hard? You need some fellow inmate council? By the way, the names Jeb."

The man nodded again, "Hello Jeb, I'm simply contemplating the future and the past of my life, what drove me here."

Jeb shrugged, "What's teh' think about? You're here, that's where you are, now make the most of it. I've been here long enough to think."

Jeb gestured to his graying hair and slightly wrinkeled face, he still looked like he belonged on some dark street in Nar Shadaa.

The man smiled, "I fear that my sentence will not be as long as yours my friend."

Jeb sat back on his bunk and groaned a bit, "Well, ifit makes you feel an' better, then I'll compare you to the one of the BEST crime lords in the history of crime: Gelikor Straku."

The man smiled, "I'm familiar with Gelikor."

Jeb continued, "Gelikor had NO heart, he was simply a cold, calculating, effecient criminal. You know what happens when you get all those pretty words with one criminal, you get trouble."

The man spoke again, "No, he had a heart, it's just a matter of how he used it, what made him what he was, in that way alone was he heartless."

Jeb rolled his eyes, "What are you? Some sorta' wise guy?"

The man turned his head slowly away from Jeb, "You could say that, at least wise in my own way. My question is, what did I leave behind me that was worthwhile, what made life worth living the way I did."

Jeb snorted, "Well, friend, I've got to eat this bread, have fun thinkin'."

The man sat alone, tortured by his thoughts of why?

I was trying to survive when that happened, when I did the first crime, when I was at my lowest...I cracked, thought the man, I should've known that by taking the path that I took to survive, I doomed myself to a path of self-destruction.

These thoughts churned around and around in his mind, not letting him rest. Suddenly, the Guardsman walked up the corridor again, hauling another unfortunate prisoner. The prisoner gave a good fight, but it was futile and in vain, for there was no more escapes for the prisoner, not here.

There was a time when I did what was good, but then, everything fell apart, the world I lived in crumbled under war and suffering. And in a desperate effort to survive, I turned toward what was no longer good. My brother tried to help me, but he couldn't, the Jedi couldn't help me out of my choice of lifestyle, thought the man, He went in the right direction, I didn't...

Jeb stirred, "Okay, seeing the look on your "troubled" face, I think you need some help?"

The man looked at Jeb, "That would be appreciated, but I think I have come to my own conclusion. Everything that I have done was not well thought about and resulted chaotically in the outside world, I haven't helped anyone. I have left no legacy of good on the galaxy, as is our duty to do so."

Jeb sat back down, "So you thought of all that in such a short amount of time, eh? Well, Gelikor never did any thinking neither, like you. You both have ended up in the same pile with the bad guys, I imagine that you didn't want to become these bad guys?"

The man nodded, "I guess the reason I did the things I did was to survive, in my own opinion, but it became more then that. Eventually, it engulfed everything good in my life as I used these survival tactics more often. Then it became more like an addiction to the dark side of things."

Jeb leaned back into his small chair, staring at the Guardsmen fighting the struggling criminal. "So, have you come to terms with your past, unlike Gelikor the Horrible."

"Yes," the man said, "I believe that I have accepted the truth of my actions finally, I feel better, but I have much remorse for my actions. I guess I'll never know the true reason, but I know enough to realize the crime. I thank you, Jeb, for these last words."

Jeb looked confused, "Last words? What?"

Suddenly, the guardsmen opened the door to the man's cell.

The Chief Guardsmen looked victorious as he walked towards the man," Gelikor Straku, your time has come to pay for the crimes of a lifetime."

The whole prison went quiet as everyone realized who the man was.

Straku stood, "Remember Jeb, that we have only so many choices in our one life, make the right ones, and think, thinking can help you some, but the choice still has to be made. Goodbye."

And that began the last walk of one of the last Great Crime Lords of the Galaxy. What was he thinking on that final walk? Could he been thinking of what he left behind, or what he did in the dark times? Or maybe he has come to terms with everything and is preparing for the end? What happened as he left his cell is up to you reader. If you had been in his position what would you have done and thought? Perhaps, though, we have all realized that choices bend one's path to the future, and I'm pretty sure I want to make the right choice. What about you?

11-21-2008, 12:51 AM
That was quite interesting. :) I liked who the 'man' turned out to be in the end. I half-expected it, but I still liked the moment when I truly found out. :)

There are a few grammer problems, but the story itself seems quite sound. You get my vote.

11-21-2008, 12:54 AM
Thanks Endorenna! I'll correct the grammar once I get the option back. Thank you! :D

Chevron 7 locke
11-21-2008, 04:50 AM
I liked the way you showed the characters thinking.

11-21-2008, 03:53 PM
Good job, Commander. That's going to be hard to top in my book, but it's the first I've read. I'll let you know if I vote this story.

11-22-2008, 12:52 AM
This was absolutely excellent. Keep up the great work, and I enjoyed the philosophizing!

11-22-2008, 01:04 AM
Thanks Tysyacha!

11-22-2008, 10:30 AM
Very nice, Commander. The man seemed to be at peace with his fate, especially after deciphering his intentions, and such.

This has my vote! :)

11-22-2008, 11:07 AM
Thanks Litofsky!

11-26-2008, 01:07 PM
I like this piece. I like how it was reflective of choices made and acceptance of the consequences. I found it particularly good that the man who turned out to be the big bad criminal got to hear what others had heard and thought about him. I won't point out grammar or anythign since you are aware of that. Overall it is a good story and I encourage you to keep it up.

11-26-2008, 01:13 PM
Thanks JM12!