View Full Version : [Fic] Mira's Vision

12-04-2008, 12:32 PM
Mira’s Vision


Clint H. Dunshee

Mira’s green bladed lightsaber flashed, she pressed her attack against the Sith warrior. With intricate movements she had learned in her new life as a Jedi Knight, and some old ones she learned as a bounty hunter, she slashed the man across the stomach. He screamed, dropping his red-bladed lightsaber.
“Surrender now Sith, you need not die,” Mira informed him calmly. The man weakly nodded.
“Get up,” commanded Mira. He got up slowly. Mira pick up his lightsaber and attached it to her belt. As she was doing this, another Sith appeared, leaping at her. Mira cursed to herself and turned to face the new enemy. Out of nowhere a purple lightsaber intersected the red blade. Mira grinned. It was her good friend, the former Handmaiden, Brianna.
Mira marveled the way she skillfully used the lightsaber with no wasted motion. Her movements flowed easily. She methodically attacked the Sith, slowly but surely wearing him down. Finally the end came, the Sith losing an arm, but refusing to surrender. He tried to attack again with a hidden short lightsaber, but was cut down by Brianna.
“They never learn,” muttered Brianna.
“Glad you showed up. That could have been a problem,” responded Mira.
“You let your guard down my friend. That’s occurred our last two missions we were sent on by the Jedi Council. Something distracts you,” stated Brianna.
“Yeah…I know. You see…” Mira stopped as she recognized two more friends arrive, Atton and Bao-Dur. Both were also Jedi’s. Atton deactivated his blue bladed lightsaber, while Bao-Dur did likewise with his green one.
“Under control?” asked Atton. Mira nodded.
“We better get back to Coruscant. The Jedi Council will want to question this one,” stated Bao-dur.
A day later the foursome turned over the Sith prisoner to the Jedi and were debriefed. The youngest on the Jedi Council, Bastila Shan took a long look at Mira.
“I sense you are troubled.”
“I am okay Master Shan. I…still am orienting myself to being a Jedi. My thoughts still get confused at times.” Bastila smiled.
“You are becoming a powerful Jedi Mira. You and Brianna are quite a team. The Exile has taught you well.”
“Is there any news on the Exile Master?” asked Brianna.
“Only a little. He is currently on Tatooine. He is looking for a female friend of mine, named Mission Vao, who may have news on Revan’s, I mean Cord Mercer’s, location. But enough of this. You’ve all had three missions in the last two months. We the council have decided to grant you all a four week rest period.”
Mira, Brianna, Atton and Bao-dur bowed, and silently left the room.
Bao-dur and I are going for some much needed recreation time on Alderaan, you two want to come?” asked Atton. Brianna looked over at Mira, who shook her head.
“You two go ahead. We need some…female time together.”
The twosome spent the night at Mira’s apartment; relaxing from the recent missions they had been on. Finally Brianna decided it was time to break the ice.
“Okay Mira, out with it. You’ve been very distracted lately. It’s not like you. You’re always so intense when we’re on a mission.” Mira sighed, and looked over at her friend. She pulled off the top layer of her Jedi robe and tossed it aside.
“Okay here it is. Do you ever have visions, of the future?” Brianna considered before she replied.
“Only very short term in the future, maybe a few hours, and then just when we are on a mission together. It help’s us to stay a step ahead of the Sith.” Mira nodded. She had those types of visions also.
“Well, this one is different. It could be I’m seeing a hundred years in the future, maybe a thousand. It’s a very troubling vision.” Brianna took off her top robe and gently set it down.
“Tell me about it, why do you think it’s so far in the future?”
“It’s a purge, of Jedi. I see armored troops killing Jedi on many worlds. I didn’t recognize any of them. I see two Jedi fighting each other on a planet with lava.”
“Are you sure they are Jedi? Maybe they are Sith?” asked Brianna. Mira shook her head.
“On the lava planet, they both had blue lightsabers, and the others killed, are blue and green. Force lightning kills one, he had a purple Blade. Jedi don’t use lightning, only Sith Lords do.”
“Do they all die?” asked Brianna.
“I do not know. I only know many Jedi will die in this purge. I just wish I knew when it would occur.” Brianna sat back and looked thoughtful. She put a hand on Mira’s shoulder, which was trembling slightly.
“Is there any more to the vision?”
“Yes. I see the Jedi temple in flames, under attack. Some Jedi attempt to return to the temple and are killed in yet another trap.”
“Who could be bold enough to attack the Jedi temple? It would be foolish.” Stated Brianna.
“It appears to me many Jedi are of on missions. Few are left in the temple. If only I knew if this would occur in our lifetimes! We could help defend the Jedi order. I feel this purge will possibly destroy it.”
“It seems incredible that the Jedi order could ever be exterminated,” said Brianna, looking suddenly worried.
“I see no Jedi we know in the vision, it appears this will occur after our death,” said Mira.
“Are there any names…anything like that you might get from the vision?”
“At times I sense a vague reference to a name, but I cannot totally be sure what name it is,” said Mira.
“What does the name sound like?” Mira shrugged.
“Something like Annie or Anake, maybe Anakin.”
“The name may mean nothing at all,” said Brianna, looking more hopeful. Mira smiled.
“Your right, it probably means nothing.”

Chevron 7 locke
12-04-2008, 01:29 PM
Wow. This story is good. I liked the way you managed to throw in the destruction of the jedi temple

12-04-2008, 03:14 PM
Originally reviewed march 16 2006

12-05-2008, 07:57 AM
“It’s a purge, of Jedi. I see armored troops killing Jedi on many worlds."

Very good story, I like it!

Bee Hoon
12-06-2008, 09:04 AM
Hey there, welcome to the CEC :) I noticed that this is the second time that you are posting this story, and I don't really see any changes besides the spacing:/ In any case, there's minor errors here and there, such as using your instead of you're, etc. Besides that, I suggest spacing out one character's response to another. For example:
“I am okay Master Shan. I…still am orienting myself to being a Jedi. My thoughts still get confused at times.” Bastila smiled.Going immediately to 'Bastila smiled' is a bit misleading--it kinda gives the impression that she was the speaker. Aside from that, it's too short to say much, although it'll be interesting to see Mira act on this vision!

12-06-2008, 10:08 AM
Hello! :) I second Bee's welcome!

Okay, couple thoughts. It's a good idea to put spaces between the lines of dialoge. It simply makes it easier to read. Also, some of Brianna's lines don't sound right. They're a little too...loose. Brianna's very, very stiff.

The vision idea's interesting, but I don't really like the idea of someone sensing the Jedi Purge four thousand years before it happens. I dunno, it just doesn't seem...right, somehow. Still, that's just personal preference. :)

knight 12167
12-06-2008, 08:44 PM
I like it!!!

good job

12-07-2008, 12:45 AM
Welcome to LucasForums! :D

This had very good dialogue. Miras vision was interesting, giving a glimpse into the far future - a future we as the readers know. Mira is my favorite KOTOR character so I got excited to see the title.

I know it's been said before, but spaces between the paragraphs help a lot. It's best to type things up and than copy and paste into a post, it makes thing so much easier. Honestly this is no big deal, as long as it's an interesting read, but some will be turned off without even reading. Just my two cents.

I hope to see more writing from you!