View Full Version : [NSW-Fic] Savior
Chevron 7 locke
12-17-2008, 03:04 AM
My Second NaruHina story. (If you didn't think this was going to be a NaruHina story you need to get to know me better)
This is the immediate sequel to Now and Again. I can only hope that it lived up to Now and Again
This story is NOT set in the future, it is set a week after Now and Again.
As usual, I made some changes from the origianl story on fanfiction.net. grammer, new content, certain words have been replaced
Hinata Hyuga awoke from her wonderful, yet strange dream. She had dreamt of a Naruto from the future, who had come back to save her her of all people from dying at the hands of a rogue ninja, Naruto had saved her, and then he had vanished from the battle site as quickly as he had shown up. and then he had appeared in her window later that night, he had wept for her, she had met the future Naruto...It all seemed to real and yet it couldn't be real...it was still a dream, no matter how much she wished it was real
She dressed for the day, and walked slowly down the steps toward the dining room, still thinking of the dream she had, and how much she wished it were real. Hiashi Hyuga was waiting for her. “Hinata, why were kissing the Uzumaki boy yesterday?” he asked in a voice as hard as iron.
Hinata’s heart began to race, s-she had kissed Naruto! The Dream! The dream had been real! He did love her! The words her father spoke next ruined her moment of happiness. “You are never to see him ever again, you are the heiress to the Hyuga clan, you have a responsibility, you are not to associate with street trash like him.”
Hinata’s heart sank, she was on the verge of tears, “B-but F-Father, I-I love him, H-He makes me happy.” Hinata might as well as appealed to a stone, Hiashi wasn’t moved at all by her tears. “As I said, you are not to see him anymore, and that’s the end of this discussion.” Hinata was getting angry, how dare he tell her whom she could and couldn’t see! How dare he! She was old enough to date whoever she wanted, and she wanted to be with Naruto.
“No.” she whispered to herself. Hiashi Hyuga turned around slowly and stared at his daughter, “What Did You Say?” he asked in a voice as hard as stone. Hinata stared at him “I Said No! The time of you controlling me is over! I love Naruto and he loves me! I am going to see him whether you like it or not!” she was angry, more angry then she had ever been.
Hiashi stared at her with eyes as hard and as cold as ice. “You will listen to your father.” And then he backhanded her across the face. Hinata hit the ground with a thud, she looked up not with fear in her eyes, but anger, “Naruto gives me confidence! He makes me feel like I can do anything!” she shouted at her father. “Byakugan!” Hinata shouted as she pulled herself up from the floor and positioned herself into a fighting stance.
Hiashi narrowed his eyes. “Byakugan,” he stated as he positioned himself into a similar fighting stance, Hinata struck first, Hiashi dodged, almost without effort, Hinata knew she was going to lose this fight, but she had to try, for Naruto.
She never had a chance…
Kurenai was worried, Hinata was usually on time for training, she had a bad feeling about this, she looked to the two present genin, “Stay here, I’m going to go look for Hinata.” “Yes sensei.” As Kurenai set off for the Hyuga compound, she just couldn’t shake the bad feeling that something happened to Hinata.
A few minutes later
When Kurenai arrived at the Hyuga compound, she knew something bad had happened, she could smell blood on the air, she followed the smell into the house, past the stairs and in the kitchen she saw, “Oh my G-” she started to say, then she caught herself. Hinata was sprawled out on the floor, bruised, broken, and bleeding from almost a dozen wounds, she was barely breathing. Kurenai knew there was no time to waste, she had to get her to lady Tsunade as quickly as possible. She picked Hinata up in her arms, and ran as fast as she could back to the village.
The story is not yet over...
12-17-2008, 05:50 AM
Man it's lucky that I can keep with the continous jumping to and fro time periods, :lol:
Nice start. I like how you're filling in the spaces. Smart idea.
Looking forward to more :)
Chevron 7 locke
12-18-2008, 02:59 AM
Next chapter of Savior is now up (Obviously :D)
Naruto Uzumaki was whistling a cheerful tune to himself as he walked to the Hyuga compound. Naruto was happy, happier then he had been in a while, He couldn’t wait to see Hinata again! He was thinking of taking her out for ramen, he wondered what kind of ramen she would like the most…… Naruto was almost halfway to the Hyuga compound, still thinking of ramen and Hinata, when a black blur passed him, and a gust of wind nearly blew him off his feet. Suddenly, Naruto was alert, whatever that was had come from the Hyuga compound! “Hinata…” he breathed with sudden realization. Naruto turned around and followed the blur as fast as he could.
He had finally managed to catch up a few minutes later, the blur was Kurenai sensei and she was holding…”Hinata….” He breathed in horror. Her face was bruised and bloody, her breathing was faint and uneven. “K-Kurenai sensei! What happened to Hinata? Who did this to her! Kurenai looked up with a start, she hadn’t noticed him sneaking up on her. She replied as best she could, “She was beaten very badly, I don’t know who did it…” But I have a suspicion, she thought to herself. Naruto looked down at Hinata with tears in his eyes, “I-Is she going to be alright?” “She will be, if we get her to Lady Tsunade in time! Naruto, go ahead and find Lady Tsunade, tell her what’s happened! Go now!” Naruto leaned down and kissed Hinata on the head, then ran as fast as he could to the village.
“Hold on Hinata,” he whispered to the morning sky
A few minutes later
Hidden leaf Village
“WHAT!” Lady Tsunade shouted, her eyes wide. “Naruto, wait here until I find out what condition she’s in.” B-But I need to see her!” Naruto protested with tears in his eyes. Tsunade looked closely at him, in his eyes she worry and…love!. Tsunade was surprised, she thought he’d never figure out the Hyuga girl loved him, and by the looks of it….he loved the Hyuga girl as much as she loved him. Tsunade patted him on the shoulder and tried to get him to leave, “She’ll be alright, I promise you she’ll be fine.” She spoke gently, “ Just let us do our jobs and she’ll be fine.” Naruto looked up at her and smiled faintly, nodded, and went to the waiting room.
Hinata had arrived. Naruto watched as she was rushed past him, and finally, out of his sight. Naruto felt helpless, the one person who loved him, the one person who might have wanted to share her life with him, had been beaten, and she might not make it. “Hinata, I promise you, I will find out who did this to you, and make them pay…” he whispered
A few hours later
They waited, they all waited for some word on Hinata, So many people had shown up, Kurenai, Kiba, Shino, Sakura, Rock Lee, TenTen, Might Guy, Asuma, Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji, Kakashi, they had all shown up. Asuma was holding Kurenai’s hand and was holding her as tightly as he could, Sakura and Ino were crying and Naruto, Naruto was simply sitting in a chair and staring vacantly at a wall.
The doors to the waiting room were almost slammed off their hinges, as Neji Hyuga stalked into the waiting room. He went straight for Naruto, He picked him up by the front of his shirt. “What did you do to her?” he growled in a voice filled with rage. Naruto simply looked at him, with tears in his eyes, and then turned his gaze away. Neji’s eyes flashed with rage, he lifted Naruto up by the front of the jacket, balled his hand into a fist and pulled it back. “What did you do to her!” he roared with rage. Naruto simply looked at him with eyes full of despair and sadness. Neji was about ready to punch him, when he felt a hand touch his shoulder, it was TenTen. “Neji, don’t. Naruto didn’t do it, he couldn’t have done it.” “why not?” Neji asked through gritted teeth, TenTen leaned close to his ear and whispered, "He was on his way to see her when she was attacked.” Neji stared at TenTen trying to comprehend what she was saying, “He…didn’t do it?” he asked carefully “No,” TenTen answered gently “Now Neji, put him down, please.”
Neji lowered him the ground, slowly. Naruto slid to the floor and didn’t move, he simply stared vacantly at the floor. TenTen took Neji’s hand and led him to a bench in the corner, and sat down with him. Neji had his head in his hands, TenTen put her arm around his back and spoke gentle words to him. TenTen abruptly took him into her arms and hugged him, Neji looked shocked at first, but then he hugged her back and put his head on her shoulder, TenTen could feel teardrops falling from his face onto her shoulder.
What do you guys think? Bad? Good?
*Sits down, Twiddles thumbs and waits for comments*
12-25-2008, 02:32 PM
Chevron 7 locke
01-05-2009, 10:08 PM
(Finally got around to updating! You all thought i forgot didn't you?)
Three hours later
Lady Tsunade strode through the doors, with a smile lighting her face. “Hinata Hyuga is out of danger,” she announced with joy in her voice. Almost everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief, Naruto simply got up and asked, “Where is she?” Tsunade looked at him strangely, she expected him to jump, to cheer, to dance for joy. “She’s sleeping right now, b-” Naruto interrupted, “Where is she?” Tsunade sighed, no point in arguing, she thought. “Room 115, down the hall, first room on the right.”
Naruto walked past Lady Tsunade and the others. He walked slowly down the hall, everything was a daze to him. He reached her room, sat down at the edge of her bed, and wept for all he had nearly lost.
Two hours later
Hinata Hyuga awoke to the sound of weeping, she could hear words between the sobs, but she could barely make them out, “Wake up Hinata, Please wake up," sobbed the voice. She looked at the source of the voice, blonde hair, orange jacket, “Naruto…” she breathed softly. Naruto turned toward Hinata, “H-Hinata, your awake,” he whispered. Naruto leaned forward and stroked her hair softly, “I was so worried about you,” he whispered. Hinata was blushing, “N-Naruto, how long have you been here?” she asked softly. “Three hours, since Tsunade said you were out of danger.” Hinata was touched by his concern, “Hinata, who hurt you, who did this to you?” he whispered in her ear. ‘M-My f-father.” She whispered. Naruto was angry, “Why?” his voice was flat.
Hinata sighed heavily, “B-Because, he doesn’t want me to see you, because your street trash to him, because in his mind, your not worthy to see me,” As Hinata spoke, her voice got louder and clearer, she stammered less. “N-Naruto, I didn’t take it laying down, I-I fought him, all the while.” Naruto was proud of her, she was starting to have more confidence in herself, she was starting, to fight for her beliefs, Naruto had never been so proud of her. “Lady Tsunade told me that you need more rest."
Naruto leaned down and kissed her softly on the head, she smiled, closed her eyes and drifted off into a dreamless sleep
Naruto walked out of Hinata’s room, his thoughts those of murderous intent, how could a father beat his daughter so badly? And Why? Just because she was seeing someone he didn’t like? There was no reason to beat her period! How could a father be so heartless?
Naruto walked slowly through the waiting room, past the guests and straight out the door. Sakura was worried, ‘D-Did anyone else notice that?” TenTen looked at her, a questioning expression on her face, “What do you mean?” Sakura shuddered, “T-That look in his eyes, its like….Naruto wasn’t there, it looked like something else.” She stared out the door after him
01-06-2009, 05:51 AM
The Dark Side. It cripples even the most joyful of us and can erode our very core.
Naruto is pis**d!!!
With good reason.
Awaiting the next chapter!!!!
01-06-2009, 11:31 PM
Well, since you asked me to read it, Chev, I did. But only the first part. I will say though, I'm thoroughly impressed. I thought you made good descriptions, the spacing made it easier to understand, and the way you cut the battle scene off and picked it back up was really nice. I did notice a few grammatical errors, but those are easily corrected as always. Watch carefully, the over usage of words. What I mean is for example, "She stood near the cliff. The cliff began to break as she stepped away from the cliff." That sort of stuff. Early on you used 'her' twice in a row. First few lines I think. But other that that I though it was great! Keep it up. I'll get around to part 2 and 3 within the next couple of days.
Chevron 7 locke
01-06-2009, 11:34 PM
Hiashi Hyuga could feel the chakra of the demon approaching his home, he had sent the servants and Hanabi away from the Hyuga compound, they didn’t have to pay for his mistakes, and it was his mistake that was drawing the demon here, he had beaten his daughter to within an inch of her life, he should have expected some kind of reprisal, if not from her Sensei, then from Lady Tsunade, he hasn’t expected though, to deal with Naruto Uzumaki, the container of the nine-tailed fox.. Hiashi Hyuga smiled grimly to himself, if he had to fight, then he would make a good accounting of himself.
Naruto Uzumaki, powered by the nine-tailed fox, approached the Hyuga compound, his thoughts those of murderous intent, He would make Hiashi suffer for hurting Hinata, he would make him wish for death. he was almost there,
He was no longer Naruto
He was no longer the Nine-Tailed fox
He was a bit of both
He was the essence of the rage that lived within the hearts of both beings.
And nothing was going to slow him down
Hiashi Hyuga felt the presence at his front door, and then he felt it jump over his house and land right behind him. He turned around slowly, he laid his eyes upon the demon that was once Naruto Uzumaki, and for the first time in a long time, Hiashi Hyuga felt fear. The demon/boy spoke, its voice full of murderous glee, “You hurt Hinata! For that, your gonna suffer!.”
Hiashi Hyuga dropped into a fighting stance and prepared to fight for his life
Hinata Hyuga awoke with a start, she could feel chakra, it had an almost……evil feel to it, she could feel rage and sorrow in that chakra, she could also feel…..sorrow and despair, she could feel something else under the chakra, she could feel…“Naruto…” she realized with sudden fear.
Outside the hospital
Kurenai could feel the chakra radiating, she knew what it was, she knew what was happening, the other jonin noticed it too. “Stay here,” she ordered the genin, she knew they wouldn’t stand a chance if they came along. She and the other Jonin set out to, to save two lives…
Five minutes later
En route to the Hyuga compound.
Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai and Might Guy were approaching the source of the chakra, they already knew where it would lead. “So….anyone know why he’s heading for the Hyuga compound,” Kakashi asked, breaking the silence. “As you know, Hinata was beaten today bad enough for her to be taken to the hospital, when she arrived, she was barely alive. Naruto thinks it was her father, and he’s probably right,” Kurenai answered with a sigh. “Hiashi always was a strict father, but I didn’t think he beat his own children,” Asuma stated. “You just don’t get it, If Hinata isn’t strong enough to heiress to the Hyuga clan, then she just isn’t worth it. Hiashi once told me, he didn’t care if she lived or died on one of her missions. She didn’t live up to his expectations, so in Hiashi’s eyes, she’s a failure,” Kurenai replied sadly. Might Guy spoke angrily, “Why does she stay with him then! Why doesn’t she just leave! “Hiashi doesn’t recognize any authority but his own, if she tried to leave, he would stop her by any means necessary,” Kurenai answered angrily.
They arrived at the Hyuga compound a few minutes later, to see Naruto Uzumaki and Hiashi Hyuga engaged in mortal combat. Hiashi was barely holding his ground against the enraged Naruto Uzumaki, and no matter how you looked at it, Hiashi wasn’t going to win this one, he was losing too much ground, to quickly.
Even as they watched, Naruto managed to get an uppercut in under Hiashi’s jaw that sent him sailing into the air, he hit the ground with an ominous cracking sound. Naruto Uzumaki stood above him like an avenging angel, Rasengan engaged, ready to kill the man that dared to beat his own daughter nearly to death
Naruto spoke in a harsh, angry tone, “Did you enjoy beating Hinata? Why did you do it? Because she disobeyed you? Because she was weaker then you! Because you just felt like beating her today! How many other times have you done it! Well, lets see how you like being beaten to within an inch of your life…” Naruto pulled back the hand that held the Rasengan, ready to smash it into Hiashi’s face with all his strength.
“N-Naruto…” a voice whispered from behind him. Naruto turned around slowly, he knew that voice! Hinata Hyuga stepped in front of Naruto Uzumaki with tears in her eyes. “ Naruto, please don’t do this, if you beat him, your going to become just as bad as he is, yes, he may have beaten me, but he still my father, If you do this, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life, he may have hurt me, but right now, your hurting me, it hurts my heart, t-to see you like this, your almost a monster, look at what you’ve turned into, something that is willing to kill in revenge! P-please Naruto, stop,” she whispered in a tone that was filled with fear.
Naruto looked down at himself, Hiashi’s blood was on his hands, his jacket, his face, he looked down at Hiashi, bruised, bloody and broken in so many places, his eyes weren’t filled with fear, rather, they were filled with an acceptance of what was to come. Naruto looked up at Hinata with tears in his eyes, “H-Hinata, I’m sorry,” he whispered. Hinata smiled and took his hand, “I-Its alright Naruto, I’m safe now, you can stop this,” Naruto smiled, and then looked down at Hiashi and spoke in a voice filled disgust and loathing and revulsion, “You don’t deserve to be her father, you don’t deserve to even speak to her, She’s not staying with you anymore, She’s coming with me, where you cant hurt her anymore,” Naruto turned his head away from him, he was disgusted by the mere sight of Hiashi Hyuga.
01-07-2009, 12:15 AM
Nice chapter. The love Naruto and Hinata share for each other is great.
First of all, it should be Uzumaki Naruto. Not the other way around. Sorry, I just have a knack for being annoying like that.
And it's Jounin. Not Jonin.
And also this: she could feel rage and sorrow in that chakra, she could also feel…..sorrow and despair
Remember to try and not over use words as much.
After saying all that however, it was a nice read and I enjoyed it a lot :)
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