View Full Version : [Fic] Christmas on the Ebon Hawk

Chevron 7 locke
12-19-2008, 03:43 AM
Christmas on the Ebon Hawk

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the Ebon Hawk, the only thing stirring was a mischievous blue twi'lek.

Mission Vao was having some of the best fun of her life.

At everyone else's expense of course.

It was like Carth had once told Revan after one of Mission's practical jokes: while we sleep, the twi'lek has fun at our expense.

Revan had simply laughed that little pun off and had gone to bed.

She had woken up with a pillow filled with live gizka.

Revan had never underestimated Mission Vao after that little stunt.

Many others had fallen victim to Mission's various little pranks.

After Bastila had used the force to trip her up on Taris, Mission had managed to alter her lightsaber so instead of a yellow blade, it emitted a hot pink blade. The enraged Jedi had tried to switch the color back to yellow for days afterward.

Canderous had once commented that they should leave her on Dantooine with the Jedi, He had gone to bed after polishing his beloved heavy repeating rifle, when he had woken up, his beloved gun had vanished from sight. He had eventually found it hidden under the fresher but it had been covered in grease and dirt. The big mandalorian had spent days restoring his beloved gun to its former glory.

Carth Onasi had made the mistake of calling her “kid,” he had gone to the fresher, but once he sat down, the freasher had mysteriously backired and Carth Onasi had come running out of the fresher covered in fluids and other lesss mentionable items

Jolee Bindo had once woken up with a blond wig strapped to his head. It had been a strange morning that day; Jolee had chased Mission all over the ship before she managed to escape his notice by hiding in a cargo container.

Mission had even managed to get Juhani caught up in her practical jokes, Juhani had insisted that she didn't purr when she was sleeping, one night she had gone to bed and Mission had placed a recording device next to her for the entire night. The next morning, everyone on the ship could hear a strange purring noise over the intercom all day. No matter what they had tried to do, they couldn't shut it off, Juhani's face had turned beet red when she heard her purring over the intercom.

Even HK-47 wasn't safe from Mission. HK had insisted that the “annoying little blue meatbag” would never try and get him. The assassin droid powered down for the night and during that time, someone had painted a target on his back with the caption “Meatbag” under the target. To add further insult to injury, Mission had had a little fun with his vocabulater: Whenever HK had tried to threaten her; the only sound that came out was the croaking of a gizka.

T3-M4 was the only one she hadn't pranked. It was only a matter of time though...

Zaalbar had once woken up with his hair done in curls; this had caused Zaalbar a great deal of frustration as he tried to undo the damage. Finally, the wookie had been forced to resort to cutting off the offending curls.

Mission smiled to herself as she snuck through the Ebon Hawk, leaving little surprises for the others to discover when they woke up.

A few hours later.
Mission Vao went to bed, smiling as she thought of what was going to happen when the crew opened their gifts tomorrow morning.

Christmas day:
The majority of the crew was in the main hold tearing open their various gifts as Mission walked into the room. She could see that none of the gifts that she gotten the crew had been opened yet. She smiled to herself as Carth began to unwrap her gift.

“To Carth from Mission Vao, well that's very sweet of you missio-Hey” Carth abruptly jumped back as a gizka jumped out at his face. “That's not funny Mission!”

“What's the matter Carth? Don't tell me you’re afraid of a gizka.”

I'm not afraid of gizka...It just startled me is all.”


Nearly an hour later, everyone had opened the gifts Mission had been kind enough to give them.

Juhani had received a squeaky gizka toy, Juhani had seemed angry, but then she had snuck out to play with it.

Jolee had received a wig that made it look like he had dreadlocks, Although Mission had meant for it to be more of a joke gift, Jolee was proudly wearing his new wig around the ship constantly.

Bastila had revived a small book that had been written by Mission herself. The book was titled: How to make friends and lose the snooty Jedi attitude.

Needless to say, Bastila had not been pleased.

Zaalbar had received a massive sack of holiday treats that Mission had picked out her him herself.

Revan had received a festive holiday hat that sang when you pushed a button.

T3-M4 had gotten a droid shock arm, the little droid seemed delighted, and had immediately zapped Carth with the shock arm on low power.

HK-47 had received something that had made his eye's flash with joy.

An Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope.

The joyful droid had immediately wished to run outside the ship and test it out, but Revan and Canderous had managed to subdue him before he reached the exit.

Speaking of Canderous...the mandalorian had received a holiday themed blaster that shot alternating red and green blaster bolts. He had promised he would give it a shot when the next opportunity came up.

Soon after the gifts had been opened and the wrapping had been disposed of, the drinks had come out and soon, most of the adults were drunk. Now, as the drunken ones slept and the twi'lek slept soundly, none of them had the idea that one of their number would be pranking the prankster before the next morning.

As everyone slept and snored quite soundly, they were awaken quite suddenly by the young twi'lek's loud screaming.

Mission Vao screamed like a little girl as she fled from her cabin.

What was she running from you ask?

Someone had put a holo-picture of Jolee Bindo up in her bunk, she had been twisting and turning waiting for sleep to come, and then she saw a holo-picture of Jolee Bindo in the buff waving at her.

For hours afterward, the crew had tried to find out who had done it. No one knew how they had even gotten an image of Jolee in the buff.

HK-47 saved the image of Mission running away in his memory banks.

Merry Christmas meatbag,

The droid couldn't help it; Christmas put him in a festive mood.

Oh...and a Happy new year

Bee Hoon
12-23-2008, 11:12 AM
The book was titled: How to make friends and lose the snooty Jedi attitude.:lol:

Well, it's pretty short and silly, but quite enjoyable all the same. The idea of Christmas in Star Wars is questionable--it would have been better if you had just created one or adapted another holiday for use. There seems to be great discrepancy in the relative values of all the gifts (bad biased Mission!). Jolee Bindo in his birthday suit? DO NOT WANT! D:

Chevron 7 locke
12-23-2008, 01:55 PM
Jolee in his birthday suit was HK-47 getting back at Mission for the gizka voice incident, I just wanted to clear that up

12-23-2008, 03:39 PM
:lol: :lol:

One word: Awesomeness! :D

Hehehe I love this story. I loved Mission in the game and I could totally see her doing all that stuff. I actually liked that you used Christmas - it makes it even funnier as there is no Christmas in the Star Wars universe.

:gift: <---- A gift for you Chevron 7 locke!

This put me back in the Christmas spirit...now where is my fart powder...


12-23-2008, 04:34 PM
Yes, that was a great story Chev!

knight 12167
12-23-2008, 05:51 PM
This story was awesome

12-23-2008, 06:31 PM
GREAT STORY, CHEV!! Par Excellence!!

12-24-2008, 12:12 PM
I liked the story, it's better than the hunk of junk that my story is.

12-24-2008, 12:43 PM
*LOL*!!! /vote

12-25-2008, 01:41 PM

12-26-2008, 05:35 PM
Awesome! I love this story! You should try one for all the holidays

12-28-2008, 09:09 PM
"It was like Carth had once told Revan after one of Mission's practical jokes: while we sleep, the twi'lek has fun at our expense."

lol that was hilarious