View Full Version : [Fic] Odnazhdiy ("Once")

04-18-2009, 04:23 PM
(Mood music: Dire Straits' "Iron Hand" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIb8Ch0fmqc)

"You hungered for battle. You could not wait to follow Revan to war..."

Atris was right, of course, but also wrong. I could not wait to follow Revan to war, but lust for battle was not my main motivation for doing so. The Outer Rim roared in the fires of immolation from the Mandalorians' relentless assaults, and what did we Jedi do? What could we do, being the guardians of peace and justice throughout the galaxy? That's right, we waited. We waited to "assess" the Mandalorian threat, when all of us knew that it was growing stronger by the second. We waited as thousands were originally slated for slaughter, and millions died. We waited. How much more proof did we need that the Mandalorians were a force that needed to be quelled? War was not our way, but was this stoic pacifism of ours any less lethal? What would we tell the descendants of those who had already perished? No matter. Vandar and Atris and Vrook, and the others, would wait.

All it takes is once--one time, one chance, to change everything.

"I went to war to protect others, Master Atris, not to fight..."

Vreya had originally convinced me to seek out Revan. She was my best friend and closest comrade at the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine. I remember the day, as clearly as if it were happening at this very moment, when she approached me. Her hair smelled of rainwater and sweet cleansing fluid from the refreshers, with the light scent of night-blooming jasmine. Calm was her expression, serene her stance. I had been meditating myself, but I was as nervous as a small rodent who sees a cannok approaching! Sweat beaded on my brow.

"Revan has a plan," Vreya said. "Let us talk to him, and see what he says."

All it takes is once--one argument, one truth, to convince all.

"How much longer are we going to wait?" Revan had asked. "How much longer are we going to tell ourselves and the galaxy that we are servants of the Light, while we do nothing to fight the growing darkness all around us? The Mandalorians have already proven themselves to be monsters. It's as plain as day, and our Masters refuse to serve them true justice! What will we do? Will we remain cowards, or will we rise to fight? Stand, all who are with me!"

My friend flinched from Revan's eyes, and I caught hers. She took my hand.

All it takes is once, one choice, one betrayal, to finish the fall.

"It's almost as bad as letting the Outer Rim die in the Mandalorian Wars..."

The Jedi were the ones who betrayed Revan, calling themselves the just ones. Vreya and I stood firm, and we yielded to his will. We fought under his command, and we were there at the final battle at Malachor V. We survived, but a part of me did not. I severed myself from the Force, and as for my sister-in-arms? She is with me as well, a stalwart soul by my side.

Does Atris remember Vreya? Does she care? My eyes meet hers. I fear not.

Remember, dear one...all it takes is once.

Kado Sunrider
04-21-2009, 08:33 PM
very nice! I enjoyed it.

I can see the resemblence with my work for March's TOJC entry with the one-liners from past experiences, etc. Was that intentional?

If it was, you did an amazing job, much better than I did with mine.

04-21-2009, 10:47 PM
The resemblance to your entry for March in TOJC was entirely unintentional. I just thought it would be cool to add some dialogue from the game to flesh out the Exile's reminiscences. :) Thank you for commenting, Kado, and you write good fanfics as well!

Would you like to see me continue this story? I'm of half a mind to, if folks are interested!

Kado Sunrider
04-22-2009, 12:08 AM
Very much! Would it be a retelling of the Kotor2 Storyline?

Speaking of my stories.. A shameless plug for myself, I released a new chapter of my first-person narrative from directly after the events of the Legacy of the Force series.

If you're interested in reading it, I could use some critiquing, as its rather slow around here. :D

Back to the topic at hand...

I would love to see a continuation of this story. You are one of my favorite authors here (And, at least in March, a close competitor. xD) and I love reading all of your stories, be them short or long. Keep going my friend!

04-22-2009, 02:17 PM
Actually, it would be a prequel, detailing the events leading up to and including the Mandalorian Wars. :) And, yes, I will read and critique your fourth chapter of Renewal!

Kado Sunrider
04-22-2009, 10:11 PM
that sounds just dandy!

I don't think I've read anything from the Mandalorian Wars themselves...

04-23-2009, 05:06 PM