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Lord of Hunger
07-21-2009, 02:47 PM
I, Avenian
The Life of a Jedi Knight, Revanchist, Sith Lord, and Friend
by Lord of Hunger

Foreword

The portrayal of Revan, Alex Trevelyan, is the same as in Darth Yuthura's fan fic, "Shrouded In Darkness". I have the permission from DY via PM to do so. Also, the Exile is known as Arianna Videa and is an LS Female. The events of this story begin after the Battle of the Star Forge in the KOTOR/TSL timeline.

Prologue

I marched into the Senate Rotunda, actually slightly faster than the Republic Senate Guards flanking me. It wasn't because I was eager to face my trial, but because the Force made me naturally faster than those who did not feel it.

Along the way I caught a glimpse of my reflection in nearby mirror. Where there was once a healthy looking young man was an individual that could only be considered demonic looking. Where I once had dark brown hair it was jet black with streaks of gray. My pale face was covered with black Sith tattoos. And my eyes...completely black orbs where there had once been bright green eyes. Was this the result of the Dark Side? Only if you believed that Force was limited to such vague moral abstractions. No, my appearance was the result of the choice I made long ago when I forsook bodily health in favor of power.

Holonet Reporters surrounded me as I made my way to my seat before the Senate. "Avenian Cthol, is it true that you were a direct participant of the genocide on Telos IV?" "Mr. Cthol, were you indeed the closest advisor to Darth Revan himself?" "Mr. Cthol, could you tell the people of the Galaxy what your justification was for making war upon them?"

War upon the people of the Galaxy? No, that was never the case. I had fought to save those unworthy and ungrateful wretches from 25,000 years of mental and physical enslavement, to deliver justice where there was corruption and enlightenment where there were lies. Had I failed? Had we, the Sith, failed? Had my lord failed?

Yes.

Yes, because the Sith were defeated and now myself and eventually many others would stand before this false democratic body and be asked to beg forgiveness from cowards and liars. True there were fragments of our once great empire, but they were quickly being crushed by the newly invigorated Republic fleet...or rather a poor excuse for what is supposed a Republic fleet. In any event, this was not about delivering justice or ushering in a new era. This was not about the Republic. This was about the triumph of the noble and benevolent Jedi over those evil, black-cloaked, red lightsaber-carrying Sith...myself being one of them.

While I have often found black and red to be a very beautiful combination of colors, I would love to go back in time and give whoever made those colors the official Sith fashion a piece of my mind. In many cases, we are not feared and hated for our ideology or actions, but for our appearance. True, the bodily corruption that is the result of our "Dark Side" abilities doesn't help either, but it really comes down to our apparel.

I took my seat and attempted to identify the individuals of importance before me. I immediately recognized Supreme Chancellor Cressa. He had just ascended to his throne right after the Battle of the Star Forge following a vote of no confidence that ousted the previous Supreme Chancellor. Apparently the Senate believed that the former SC was responsible for the Mandalorian Wars and what they are now calling the "Jedi Civil War" due to lack of dilligence. This Cressa was apparently a former member of the Judiciary and was know to be a very shrewd administrator.

I then saw nearby the members of the Jedi Council. All of them. How lovely it was that they had came to what they were hoping to be my ultimate humiliation, perhaps the humiliation of the Sith themselves.

Vandar Tokere, a member of some very obscure species. He was obviously trying to hide his disgust. While he was known as the most peaceful of the Council, he like the rest of them dispised individuals like myself.

Zhar, the Twi'lek who was the head of the Dantooine Enclave. He regarded me with the look of someone who was worried about a stain on some valuable furniture.

Vrook Lamar, a man who I knew hated the "Dark Side" with a passion worthy of the Sith. He sat there glaring at me so intensely I wondered if he was trying to create some power called "Force Glare" and use it to erase me from existence.

Lona Vash, a very strict woman who claimed to have a strong sense of justice. More lies. Her face told me that she was bored and just wanted me to be sentenced to some form of execution so she could leave.

Kavar, the famous Guardian. Out of all the Council I felt that he was in some ways a good man, even if he lived a lie along with the others. He regarded me with a generally cold stance.

Atris, how I like many hated Atris. That woman lived her entire life in hypocrisy. Not for a moment was she ever at peace, but always hating those who slightly deviated from the Orthodox Jedi ideology to a point where she made Vrook look tame.

Zez-Kia Ell. Apparently he had left the Jedi Order, but had come back recently to observe events such as this. I could tell that he was the only one in this building that didn't loath me. He regarded me with a face that was almost...apologetic. It might have had something to do with the fact that I was once his Padawan, but I wasn't sure. It hardly mattered though. I doubt we would ever speak again, and even so I was interested in hearing whether or not my actions had made him loose faith in the Jedi. Too little and too late.

Then I saw two others, though definitely not Jedi Masters. One of which was Bastila Shan. Oh, poor ignorant child. You finally found your first fresh taste of enlightenment and you turned away from it. Then again, you were a sad excuse for a Sith...and are a sadder excuse for a Jedi. I could tell that despite her "return to the light" she was still struggling with her experience of the "Dark Side". I felt a sense of pity for her: she could regain a sense of completion through proper Sith teachings, but clung to the lies of the Jedi. Tsk tsk.

And then I saw him...Alex Trevelyan. Of course he was here, the man who slew Darth Malak and brought about the collapse of the Sith Empire would of course be present in any major public spectacle. And I could not help but feel what I always felt when I looked upon him in the past few weeks...anguish and frustration. For once upon a time, the body that false mind occupied was filled with the mind of the one man I respected above all others, my greatest friend, my idol, my savior.

Revan.

If only he had died that terrible day, but no...that was not enough for the Jedi Council. They had to insult his memory by taking his body and shoving their lies inside it to the point that it created another person. It created Alex, the embodiment of what Revan had taught us to destroy. This act was the greatest insult of all--

"The trial of Avenian Cthol begins now," proclaimed Supreme Chancellor Cressa to the Senate. He then looked down towards me and with the most pompous voice possible asked, "Are you Avenian Cthol, former Sith Lord?"

"No sir," I replied cooly. "I am Avenian Cthol, current Sith Lord."

My audience gasped and filled the chamber with their excited, frantic whispering.

"The Sith Empire has been disbanded," Cressa said slowly.

"But not our teachings and ways," I said smugly. "And as long as those remain, so do our crusade."

Cressa muttered something under his breath. I couldn't tell what it was, nor did I care. "Do you know why you are here?"

"Yes."

"You have been accused of treason, high treason, murder, genocide, war crimes, theft, mutiny, insubordination, and the act of war upon this Republic. How do you plead?"

I grinned and replied, "Guilty of course!"

There was an uproar, people screaming and jeering at me, shouting insults. I welcomed it, welcomed the choir of hate. We Sith were always prepared for such a day as this, and were taught to greet it with open arms. This was where the tables were turned, where the enemy was just like us: passionate. I could see the Jedi Council struggling to contain themselves (it took a Sith to recognize when a Jedi was angry). I knew they wanted to forget their silly code and join the crowd, to just...vent. The way of the Jedi was to take all of those passionate moments and bottle it up, then try not to explode. They tried meditation to ease the pressure of all that hate, fear, lust, and greed of course, but in the end they were mere mortals like you and I, creatures of feeling.

"ORDER!" the Supreme Chancellor bellowed. After a minute, the noise died down. Shame, it was such beautiful music.

"Avenian Cthol, you are to recount for the record your experience as a Sith Lord in order to shed light for us on the ways of the Sith and the reason for this tragic war. Are you ready to do so?"

I knew they would ask for this. I was one of the very few Sith Lords left alive from the Empire, and the only one they had actually been captured. And I was ready to tell them the whole thing. It wouldn't be the tale of some misguided pawn, or a war criminal, or one who is insane. It would be the truth and nothing but the truth. Would it do any good? Not in the sense that it would change any hearts or set the record straight. But it would be my hour...well, more than one hour actually, since my life story would take a long time to share.

I looked up, ready to give my answer. And I saw Alex again, and felt those feelings. But they were nothing in comparison to the look on his face. I knew that hearing this story and learning of the man whose body he occupied would wound him more than anything else. That made me feel strangely happy.

"Certainly your honor," I said cheerfully. "Shall I begin now?"

Trench
07-21-2009, 03:16 PM
That was cool, he certainly is an unorthodox Sith Lord isn't he. Can't wait for Chapter 1!

Lord of Hunger
07-22-2009, 08:19 PM
I am proud to present (and note that all of these sections are subject to improvement):

Chapter 1

Many years ago....

My green blade met Master Ell's purple and emitted a familiar screeching noise. "You fight well, Padawan," said my master, "but Makashi does little good against Niman. Your form does not allow you to break through my shield, and thus there is little to accomplish."

I shrugged. "Maybe." And then I swung at his head while he had his saber guarding his lower body--

The next thing I knew he swung one of the two blades to block my attack, spun around, and with a well-placed kick he knocked me off my feet. He chuckled and offered a helpful hand, which I accepted.

"I do wish you would try Jar Kai at least," Master Ell advised. "There is so much defensive power in wielding two blades."

I shook my head. "Using two blades is distracting for me," I explained. "And having a non-saber wielding arm is helpful for balance and utilizing terrain."

"True," my Master agreed. "But for the sake of having a thorough education I would like you to experiment at least once with the Jar Kai technique. You may find it suits you."

"As you wish Master," I said, bowing slightly. "Is that all for today?"

Master Ell nodded. "Yes I think we have practiced enough. You may go, though please take the time to meditate of course."

"I will do so, Master."

After I had exited the sparing room and was out of my Master's sight, I broke into a sprint. I definitely did not wish to be late, for the most important person in the Galaxy was waiting for me.

*****

"You were almost late," Alek smirked, to which I rolled my eyes.

Revan chuckled. "Now now, behave you two. I cannot have my best friends fighting each other now can I?"

I saw a variety of Jedi Padawans like myself in the room, and Knights as well. Ferroh, the Cathar Jedi, I recognized instantly...I could tell he was impatient. We knew something had happened on Cathar involving the Mandalorians and above all Ferroh had the right to know. Then there was Cale Berkona, the man who had been on the mission at Tatooine to eliminate the Terentateks there. We would need his strength. There was Duqua Dar and Acaadi, the Zabraks. I saw Voren Renstaal, who had studied on Ossus and lost his master. And then I saw the very familiar face, Kiira Siven, kissing Revan. If you were to ever meet Kiira, you'd say Revan was a very lucky man. Her silky auburn hair and rich blue eyes screamed beauty to all those present.

Kiira was Revan's secret girlfriend, secret only because Jedi were forbidden to hold romantic relationships. But we were the Revanchists, and we did things different around here. We were all either very open-minded or we shared a concern about the Mandalorian threat, most of the time both. Oh, and we all looked up to Revan, or as we called him The Revanchist.

Revan and Kiira detached themselves for a moment so Revan could speak. "You have all come here not because you are insubordinate, suspicious, or are just looking to escape your masters' watchful eyes for a few days," spoke the powerful, commanding baritone voice. "You are here because unlike others you are concerned over the well-being of our Cathar brothers and sisters. And they are our brothers and sisters, for not only have many of our greatest come from the planet of Cathar, but because they are living breathing people like us. And because life is sacred."

"Life is sacred," we all responded in a chorus. This was the message that Revan had us repeat to ourselves everyday, to remind ourselves that our mission was never about personal gain, but about the benefit all life. We were the frontline defense against evil, we fought where and when other Jedi did not.

You see, the Revanchists began because of the many incidents were the Jedi Council prohibited intervention against heinous crimes. We were often told that either a greater evil would come out of action or that it was simply not our business. They even made up the excuse that we were still recovering from the Great Sith War. To of all of which we secretly said bull****. And it was Revan who brought us together.

Revan, my closest friend, perhaps my only true friend in that most of my other friends were only through him. The man was a genius in every field: omnilingual, expert Jedi Consular, master of Ataru, Makashi, and Niman, skilled mechanic and slicer, and a brilliant strategist. But it wasn’t as if I was attached to him because of his talents. What was amazing about him was how open-minded he was, not just compared to Jedi but to…everyone. Sure, he had convictions, but he didn’t cling to them as if his life depended on it, and he knew when to admit he was wrong. Of course, those instances were rare since he had this habit of researching every dispute to the point where his opponents would surrender out of sheer confusion and amazement.

Although Jedi are not supposed to have attachments, every chance I could get I was with Revan. While he had ascended to the rank of Jedi Knight and I was only a Padawan, we were on the same level of knowledge. In fact, it was only because of my Master that I did not become a Knight around the same time Revan, Alek, and Kiira did. I knew he was holding me back even after I had completed all the necessary trials, but in the end he had a good reason that I found myself agreeing with: he was protecting me from the Council.

You see, Master Zez-Kia Ell did not agree with the Council on many things, despite being a member. A lot had changed since the Great Sith War apparently: all forms of attachment were removed, age restrictions placed, and greater Master-Padawan surveillance added. Also, the authority of the Council was increased massively and in many ways Jedi Knights were their tools. By keeping me as his Padawan, Master Ell was preventing the rest of the Council from exerting greater authority over my actions. That, and I got to learn even more from him. Still, we agreed that it was a dark time for the Jedi, and I think he secretly supported the Revanchists…even if he never admitted it to me.

But in any event, Revan and I constantly shared our knowledge. He was obsessed with learning, spending hours with Master Arren Kae studying the history of the Jedi Order and the Ancient Sith Empire. I had always wanted to go further into Ancient Sith studies but I found little time for it so I had to settle for everything Revan shared with me.

“We have not received word from Cathar for years,” Revan stated. “And yet the Council refuses to send an expedition. Are they blind to the danger of the Mandalorians…or is there something to hide? Right now the Mandalorians are ravaging the Republic and the Council does nothing! They claim that they have reason to keep us from doing our duty. Perhaps there is something on Cathar that says otherwise.”

We all murmured and nodded in agreement. “Today,” he continued in a very professional voice, “we voyage for Cathar. We will uncover the truth of whatever has transpired there and will return to share this knowledge with our less courageous brothers and sisters in the Order. After all,” he added almost jeeringly, “what does the Council have to hide?”

Applause erupted. I made my way over to Revan as Alek was giving him a customary pat on the back and Kiira attempted to lock her mouth into his again (as if being physically separated from him was some sort of great torment). “Bravo,” I said merrily, “a top notch speech once again, my lord.” I added that last bit with my most sarcastic tone possible and a deep bow.

Revan paused and grinned slightly. “’My Lord’…I like the sound of that,” he mused. He then turned towards Kiira. “Maybe you should start saying that,” he said to her. The four of us all chuckled.

“Well, ‘my Lord,’” Alek said mockingly, “your first class star-cruiser awaits.” This time we burst into a fit of laughing. Our ride would be a very old freighter that Revan, Alek, and some of the other more mechanically-skilled Revanchists had managed to get into working order secretly. The vessel, which we christened The Truth-Seeker in honor of this voyage, was less structurally-sound a pirate ship that had just emerged from an asteroid field.

The things we did in the name of truth and justice.

*****

“No reply from any of the planetary settlements,” Cale reported from his communications post on the bridge. We had just dropped out of hyperspace in front of Cathar a half hour ago.

“I have a bad--" Alek began before Kiira nudged him in the ribs.

“Thank you Kiira, I think we have all heard that phrase too many times,” I commented.

“Something is definitely amiss here,” said Revan. “I’m taking her down for a landing.”

We all grabbed a hold of something that was welded into the floor instantly. While Revan was an experienced pilot, trying to even land The Truth-Seeker was like being in swoop race with your one of your thrusters burning up and your swoop bike spinning out of control surrounded by twenty other swoop bikes close by. In other words, a nightmare.

“Revan?” Kiira asked.

“Yeah?”

“Could we not crash this time?”

Trench
07-22-2009, 08:50 PM
Kandosii! I can't wait to read what happens on Cathar.:D
“I have a bad--" Alek began before Kiira nudged him in the ribs.

“Thank you Kiira, I think we have all heard that phrase too many times,” I commented.
:rofl: I agree! Especially considering that its in almost every Star Wars work you can find.

Demongo
07-22-2009, 08:52 PM
Interesting, most interesting my Lord:D Please continue:)

Lord of Hunger
07-22-2009, 11:06 PM
Kandosii! I can't wait to read what happens on Cathar.
Thank you ner'vod! ;) I'll try to have it up either tomorrow or the day after.
I agree! Especially considering that its in almost every Star Wars work you can find.
Yes, I admit that phrase is older than dirt.
Interesting, most interesting my Lord:D Please continue:)
LOL! Will do.

Darth_Yuthura
07-25-2009, 09:28 PM
I wasn't aware you started posting already. Otherwise I would have commented earlier.

This is a great fic that takes place with the main character being not so much evil, but in the kind who acts defiantly because he believes he's right and others refuse to acknowledge what all Revan supporters did for the Republic. It actually gives me some more perspective on how Yuthura Ban would stand if she tried to justify herself as a Sith or Jedi to someone like Avenian. I would more likely put my bets on Avenian in both cases.

Really liked the 'Master Ell' element. It added to the level of detail of the story. I'm terrible with names/nicknames, so that really got my notice. The additional dynamic with him being with Master ZKE for the sake of keeping him from being ridiculed like Alek and Kiira.

I'll keep watching for updates.

Lord of Hunger
07-26-2009, 02:43 AM
I wasn't aware you started posting already. Otherwise I would have commented earlier.

This is a great fic that takes place with the main character being not so much evil, but in the kind who acts defiantly because he believes he's right and others refuse to acknowledge what all Revan supporters did for the Republic. It actually gives me some more perspective on how Yuthura Ban would stand if she tried to justify herself as a Sith or Jedi to someone like Avenian. I would more likely put my bets on Avenian in both cases.
Thank you, although in later chapters I'll probably have Avenian explain why he might think Yuthura leaving the Sith was probably a good idea in her case.
Really liked the 'Master Ell' element. It added to the level of detail of the story. I'm terrible with names/nicknames, so that really got my notice. The additional dynamic with him being with Master ZKE for the sake of keeping him from being ridiculed like Alek and Kiira.

I'll keep watching for updates.
Seeing how you made him aligned with the Potentium in your fic I thought that I'd write his character in such a way to make him consistent with that view.

Just to let everyone know, I edited my first post to include a description of Avenian, something I forgot to do. I will edit this post to add Chapter 2 when it is ready, which will be very soon.

Edit: And here it is. :D

Chapter 2

I was quite relieved myself when we did not crash. It was a very close call as The Truth-Seeker's shields nearly lost power during descent but fortunately Kiira was able to quickly reroute power from life support to keep them up just long enough for us to get through the atmosphere. It was quite a rough landing, but for once our ship had made it in one piece.

It was unfortunate that we landed far outside any sign of civilization and without swoop bikes, it seemed we had to walk the rest of the way.

Which we did.

While the Force did allow for healing abilities, I was not proficient enough as Consular yet to completely eliminate the soreness of my feet as we trekked across the fields of Cathar. But it was the least of my concerns when we ran into familiar company. Namely, Master Vrook Lamar.

We were approached by Vrook and several Knights. I noticed out of the corner of my eye several fellow Revanchists reaching for their lightsabers slowly. I did the same. We would have been taken back to Coruscant by Force without a fight.

“Turn back now to your ship, leave this planet, and disband,” Vrook ordered in his ever pompous voice, addressing Revan in particular. “The Council does not condone your rebellious actions.”

Revan stepped forward. “Master Vrook, our brothers and sisters have a right to know the condition of Cathar. If you will not share with us any revelations of such, please step aside so we may continue our investigation.”

“Nothing has happened here,” the Jedi Master said sternly and very forcefully. It was almost as though he commanded us to believe that statement. “I will not repeat myself again, turn back now.”

“And I will not repeat myself either,” Revan replied, now slightly irritated. “Either share what you know or step aside.”

Vrook snorted. “Fine, go ahead and have your investigation,” he sneered. “But know that there will be consequences upon your return to Coruscant.”

He then marched off with his escort of Knights. Revan turned around and addressed once they were out of sight. “So...we now know there is something to hide,” he said. “The question is...what is it? Brothers and sisters, let us continue.”

*****

When we finally reached a Cathar settlement we discovered exactly what there was to hide: craters, blaster bolt burns, dead Mandalorians, and many more dead Cathar.

“No...they didn't!” gasped Kiira almost inaudibly as she grabbed fists full of her auburn hair in panic.

Ferroh fell the ground bellowing in rage and grief. No one dared approach him, for Cathar were dangerous to even their friends in such times. I would have liked to have comforted him though, to tell him it was alright even when that was a lie and it was obviously not alright. It was clear what had happened: Genocide.

Alek's expression was of one trying to stifle extreme rage and failing. He was the kind of person that was frustrated not by things he had to deal with, but by the things that he could not deal with.

Revan looked shocked. I know he wanted to find enough evidence of sentient civil rights abuse to warrant intervention on the Order's part, but it was obvious that this was the very last thing that he would have wanted to discover...or anyone with a soul for that matter.

And I? I didn't know what to feel. Should I be grief stricken over the dead Cathar before me? Should I be enraged at the Mandalorians who did this wicked deed? Or should I be enraged at the Council for covering this up instead?

Then all the sudden we all felt it at the same time, a massive wave of panicked screams and billions of lives being snuffed out. Revan doubled over in visible agony.

“Master!” Alek shouted in panic, both in reaction to what we just felt and Revan's condition.

“I feel it! I feel it!” Revan screamed. “All those lives...WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!”

“The Mandalorians must have attacked another world,” I almost sobbed. “Alek has there been any reported Mandalorian activity very recently?”

“Yes, they have been nearing...Serroco,” he said, the last word coming out very painfully.

We all looked into each others' eyes and saw the same emotion. It was hate, for in light of this evil deed grief could not live for very long.

*****

The final piece of evidence was a mass killing. It was a beach shore, covered with Cathar corpses.

“What sort of person could willingly do this?” Voren exclaimed.

“A Mandalorian,” Alek growled.

Revan waded into the water towards a Mandalorian corpse. It was a female, and the only Mandalorian corpse in this area.

“What happened to that one?” Kiira called out anxiously. We all began into follow him into the water.

“No idea,” Revan called back in reply. He then reach out to touch the mask....

...and then we saw everything, how the Cathar were gathered here for the slaughter, how this Mandalorian had stood up in protest, and how she died alongside those she attempted to save.

Minutes passed by in reverent silence.

“I take this vow,” Revan said solemnly after some time, removing the mask and placing it on his face. “I take this vow that I will put on this mask and never take it off until the Mandalorians are defeated once and for all. So swears...Revan!”

He pulled out his lightsaber and swung it overhead. The rallying gesture did not go by silently, but was met with our shouting. “REVAN! REVAN! REVAN! REVAN! REVAN!” we all yelled at the top of our lungs.

And at that moment we were free.

Darth_Yuthura
07-26-2009, 08:59 AM
I've noticed you made similar errors to ones that I made when I started SID: past/present tense conflicts.


We had landed far outside any sign of a settlement unfortunately and due to our lack of swoop bikes we would have to walk the rest of the way.

It was unfortunate that we landed far outside any sign of civilization and without swoop bikes, it seemed we had to walk the rest of the way.


While the Force does allow for healing abilities,

While the Force did allow for healing abilities,

We would not be taken back to Coruscant by Force without a fight.

We wouldn't have been taken back...


“Nothing has happened here,” the Jedi Master said sternly and very forcefully. It was almost as if he was commanding us to believe that statement.


It was almost as though he commanded us to believe that statement.

------

I understand the problem with past/present/future tense in regards to writing, but it really is something that I would suggest you try to keep in mind. One of the main reasons I revised my earlier chapters of SID was because of the tense errors I made left and right.

As one who's still working to overcome the same problem, I would tell you to imagine writing this as though it were a journal and that everything you write about has already happened. I know that's a bit difficult when you want to include something that will take place in the future, but it takes practice.

"We will have to..." as "We had to..."

This usually doesn't change the subject of the sentence you wrote. In case it does, such as if the characters have a conversation that takes place before they started walking, then the tense of the sentence would create a conflict.

Or try adding something like "I knew that we would have to..." This adds more words than you might want, but it would help with the tense problem.

---------

I know, I've heard this before as well, but I think that the tense conflict is something you may want to work on. It's not so noticeable as spelling or grammar, but it's something that takes practice.

As for the content of this story... I think that the emotion of Ferroh could have been expanded a bit more. I think that five sentences would have really been a great way to capture how it felt to lose your homeworld. The emotion of each person seemed right on, but I think that it would have enriched the story much more if you focused on that one character more than the others for that event.

I wouldn't call myself an expert on writing, as I've only really started only a year and a half ago, but I see a lot of potential in this story. I just think that the tense conflict is easy enough to correct if you can get in the habit of it. And the elements of the story are solely your decision, but adding some more content and descriptions at critical moments really enriches the plot more if it contrasts with the 'less important' details being too bland.

Lord of Hunger
07-26-2009, 08:43 PM
Well I took your advice DY and made the tense corrections. Btw to everyone, I extremely appreciate all corrections and advice. Hell, I love your insults as well, so keep it all coming. ;)

I also edited a couple things. Chapter 3 is actually Chapter 2, a very idiotic mistake on my part. :D So I corrected that, and I also added a visual description of Kiira in Chapter 1 to explain one of the many reasons why she was Revan's GF.

Chapter 3 (the actual Chapter 3 :D ) is on its way.

machievelli
07-27-2009, 10:38 PM
Read

Lord of Hunger
07-30-2009, 07:40 PM
And now for:

Chapter 3

That night we gave the Cathar a mass funeral. Ferroh told us that the Cathar did not bury bodies after death because it was unholy for the flesh to rot beneath the ground. So we created several massive pyres. As willing as we were to bury every single Cathar on that beach, I think it was still a relief that we would not perform such a task.

“I don't care what the Jedi code says anymore,” I told Ferroh as we cut the large planks of wood with our sabers together. “We will avenge every single innocent who died here. I promise you.”

Ferroh looked at me for a moment, and then nodded. I wasn't sure what he thought about my promise: he had done a good job of concealing his feeling after we had found this beach. Some people say that vengeance doesn't matter because it does heal the loss, so perhaps my promise didn't matter to him. But judging by the delight he took in slaughtering Mandalorians during the Wars, I tend to think otherwise.

After a few hours we had completed the pyres. Ferroh taught Revan and Kiira the necessary funeral rites. It was a long ceremony, and like the others I was already physically and emotionally exhausted. I do remember, however, the brilliant flames of the pyres, and the ashes of the innocent ascending to the heavens. They were almost like red stars floating above my head. To this day, that was the most beautiful sight I have ever beheld in my entire life.

*****

I woke the next morning lying upon the beach. Obviously I had passed out sometime during or after the ceremony.

As I slowly climbed to my feet, I realized that I felt very different. I felt...alive. The Force is known to heighten certain senses, but what I felt was not through the Force but through my own natural body. It is hard to describe but it felt like all my senses had been silent for my entire life, but now they were flooding my mind. Yes, I had heard the waves of Cathar's oceans and felt the breeze of the wind wrap itself around my body, but now these sensations actually meant something.

As quickly as possible I removed my cloak, boots, and all electronics including my lightsaber and datapad, stripping down to my tunic. I then ran as fast as I could into the ocean and began swimming as far out as possible. I was drowning in feeling, suffocating in emotion, but I did not want it to stop for one second. My racing heart and burning lungs screamed in protest yet I would not relent.

I did not want to be a Jedi anymore: I wanted to be a human being. I wanted to swim, and run, and to wear fine clothes, and eat delicious food, and to make love to beautiful women, and to never, EVER have to hear some Jedi Master say, “There is no emotion” and expect me to reply “There is peace” because I would never, EVER be at peace ever again. I wanted to laugh, cry, love, and hate. Although Master Ell and Revan had taught me that the Council was made of flawed sentients who could make mistakes, I never realized until today just how much of my life I had wasted inside a temple living as if I was half-dead.

They were wrong. The Council was wrong, the Code was wrong, the entire Order was wrong. We didn’t even help the Galaxy when it needed us the most, because we were more than happy to just sit around near a bunch of fountains smiling like little ignorant children and accept every single thing those ancient fools said as divine wisdom! Why did we carry powerful weapons and wield what many considered strange magic if we were never going to do any good with it? Even without the Mandalorians thousands suffered each day under the grasp of the Exchange and local dictatorships, and we just let it happen. On Ryloth, hundreds of Twi’lek girls were enslaved each day so that they could be sold to the Hutts and would live the rest of their lives being raped and brutalized until they were discarded like dirty clothes. But no…the benevolent Jedi had no intention of ever putting an end to such evils. After all, why should they stoop down to the level of the common sentient and actually engage in real life—

*****

“Avenian…Avenian…please, Avenian…” begged a soft female voice, though that gave way to a loud male voice shouting, “WAKE UP!”

My eyes snapped open. Kiira, Alek, and Revan stood before me, the former and latter looking concerned. “Where you trying to kill yourself?!” Alek asked incredulously. “If Revan hadn’t swum in after you, you would have drowned.”

I looked towards Revan, who shrugged modestly.

“Thank you,” I whispered weakly. My chest ached intensely.

“Don’t mention it,” Revan said. “But why DID you do that?!”

“I…felt alive.”

The three of them looked at each other with the look of understanding. “About time that happened,” Alek smirked, and then winced when Kiira punched him in the arm. “Oi!”

“So you’ve….” I began.

“The three of us have all figured out that being a Jedi is not all they make it out to be,” Kiira finished with a nod, then looked towards Revan with a smile. “With Revan and I, it was when we first met.”

“As for me, it started after Flashpoint Station,” Alek added. “I began to see the whole world in a new way.”

I nodded. “And everyone else?”

“All of our Revanchist brothers and sisters are well on their way to enlightenment,” Revan answered. “And I get the feeling that Master Kae already has such an understanding as well, though I doubt your Master does.”

I nodded again and slumped back into the sand so I could let my heart get some rest. It was good to know that I was not alone, and it only strengthened my bonds with my fellow Revanchists, my closest friends.

“So what now?” I asked.

“We go to Coruscant,” Revan replied. “The Council will not be able to ignore us now that we know what they covered up. Either they will acknowledge the Mandalorian threat and respond accordingly…or we will expose them for what they really are.”

“Yeah, we have about twelve hours of holo-footage to prove it,” Alek smirked.

Yes, there was no other option. We were going to Coruscant, either to unite the Order…or divide it.

Litofsky
07-30-2009, 10:44 PM
Alright: I just finished reading to the end of chapter four, and I like this story so far. Ever since I first played KotOR, I always wondered about Revan's life up to the Mandalorian Wars, and I still love the prospect of writing about it. Kudos for doing such a good job, so far. :)

That being said, I've got one or two things to nitpick at. The first is a slight thing, and has to do with the dialogue. Mainly, it feels weird (to me; I don't know about others) when, in a situation with a bunch of friends, that larger words without common contractions are used. There's no particular point where the dialogue is 'chunky,' but this might just be me.

Second, is, again, my opinion: this era is the preceding events to KotOR and KotOR II, which, as we all know, are incredibly deep (maybe not the first one, but the second one had substantial/impressive depth). Thus, correctly capturing these events that you're attempting to transcribe is extraordinarily important for the suspension of disbelief. Don't go deep enough in the right spots, and the story will end up being (gah, pardon the lack of a better word) too shallow.

No pressure. :p

Trench
07-30-2009, 11:19 PM
Those were both kandosii chapters ner'vod! Can't wait for the next!:D

Lord of Hunger
07-31-2009, 01:26 AM
Alright: I just finished reading to the end of chapter four, and I like this story so far. Ever since I first played KotOR, I always wondered about Revan's life up to the Mandalorian Wars, and I still love the prospect of writing about it. Kudos for doing such a good job, so far. :)
Thank you. I felt that the story of Revan and the Revanchists/Sith needed to be told from their side, so here I am. :D
That being said, I've got one or two things to nitpick at. The first is a slight thing, and has to do with the dialogue. Mainly, it feels weird (to me; I don't know about others) when, in a situation with a bunch of friends, that larger words without common contractions are used. There's no particular point where the dialogue is 'chunky,' but this might just be me.
I am purposefully avoiding this for two reasons:
1) They are/were Jedi, and Jedi are raised with proper speech. You'll see that some of their language becomes less formal.
2) Avenian and Revan are both individuals who strive to give an aura of superiority. In Revan's case it is because he wants people to look up to him, while in Avenian's case it's just his style. I included a bit of my own ego in Avenian's personality. :D
Second, is, again, my opinion: this era is the preceding events to KotOR and KotOR II, which, as we all know, are incredibly deep (maybe not the first one, but the second one had substantial/impressive depth). Thus, correctly capturing these events that you're attempting to transcribe is extraordinarily important for the suspension of disbelief. Don't go deep enough in the right spots, and the story will end up being (gah, pardon the lack of a better word) too shallow.

No pressure. :p
I understand, which is why the entire story will constantly be up for improvement. Apparently DY is constantly fixing her fan fic.

Chapter 4 coming soon.

Kado Sunrider
07-31-2009, 02:05 AM
Excellent!

I love it!

Keep it coming!

Darth_Yuthura
07-31-2009, 02:11 AM
I guess one aspect that I would place into this story is some casual dialog. You could add much to a story just by having a moderately long conversation to show what others are thinking, or what the main character is thinking at the moment. It doesn't really have to progress the story, although having it do so would be great.

You can keep the story progressing, but don't be afraid to add conversations that may really stand out in Avenian's mind... Revan when he's not acting like a leader. Alek having a hidden personality... something like that. It serves to enrich, but won't exactly move the story along.

Good chapter

~D_Y

Demongo
07-31-2009, 05:56 AM
I agree with D_Y on that you should put in more dialog, but other than that, I liked it;)

Lord of Hunger
08-01-2009, 04:45 AM
I did not expect to be done so soon, but....

Chapter 4

“Three Hammerhead-class Republic cruisers on intercept approach,” reported Cale as we dropped out of hyperspace above Coruscant.

“You've got to be kidding me,” Alek groaned.

Revan sighed. “Hail them,” he ordered.

I knew why he was hesitant, because I knew what he was about to do. Of course it would only work if they were not Jedi, but that would be unlikely--

The face of a pompous Republic Captain popped up on our viewscreens. “This is Captain Tiberius Karent. In the name of the Jedi Council and the Republic Armed Forces, stop immediately and prepare to be arrested or we will open fire.”

“Well this is new!” Kiira jeered. “The Armed Forces taking orders from the Jedi Council. Have they taken the Senate hostage?”

“I have a warrant for your arrest,” the Captain said, “so I will repeat myself one last time: stop immediately and prepare to be arrested or we will open fire.”

And this was where Revan came in. “YOU HAVE NO WARRANT FOR OUR ARREST,” stated Revan, although his voice was distorted. The quality was like a beautiful singer and a charismatic general speaking at the same exact time, only it cackled with energy. It even caught the rest of us by surprise, as if we were the ones being commanded to forget about the stupid warrant and arresting-- “YOU WILL STAND DOWN AND ALLOW US TO LAND AT THE JEDI TEMPLE.”

The Captain blinked several times, then shook his head. “What warrant...?” he muttered to himself. “Yes, I will stand down immediately and allow you to proceed to the Temple. I apologize profusely, this is not behavior becoming of the Republic Armed Forces and I understand if you file a formal complaint. Tiberius out.” His pompous face faded from our viewscreen and we breathed a collective sigh of relief.

“Now if only you would do that at restaurants....” Alek mused, only to be punched on the should again by Kiira. “Oi! Would you stop hitting me?!”

“Disregard that order Kiira,” Revan joked, though it was said halfheartedly. I walked up to him and gave him a pat on the back. “I know you hate doing that, but it was necessary,” I reassured him.

Revan shook his head. “It's not that I hate doing it that's the problem,” he muttered. “It's that a part of me enjoys it, and I'm not sure if that part is a good part.”

Many Republic researchers and Jedi historians have attempted to collaborate both during and after the Jedi Civil War to discover the true extent of Revan's Force Persuasion powers. I can honestly say that they were quite off. Most Force users have only been able to manipulate the weak minded, and would often fail when the individuals that they are attempting to manipulate have a strong belief or impulse.

But Revan...Revan was different. His power could completely manipulate non-Force Sensitives and partially influence Force Sensitives like myself. It was a very direct thing, almost as if your mind was some sort of song and some was playing another song right on top of it ten times as loud. Revan's song always played louder than everyone else's, except that he tried to turn down his volume because he wanted to let other songs be heard.

*****

Our arrival at the Jedi Temple was met with thinly veiled hostility. We Revanchists stepped out of The Truth-Seeker to find about thirty Knights waiting for us on the landing pad. The moment Revan and Alek stepped into view they ignited their lightsabers simultaneously. What a welcome it was.

Alek's hand moved to his hilt, but Revan shook his head in a clear “no”. As much as I didn't appreciate this sort of greeting myself, it did not help our position to begin any conflict. Let the Council supporters make the first move.

We stood there for several minutes. Our opponents faced us with glares on our faces. Some of us such as Kiira, Ferroh, and Alek returned their expression, while the rest of us wore smug grins. It was a very interesting moment where I could actually see the true nature of the Jedi before us with what little knowledge I had of Echani body analysis. There were a few zealots who truly supported the Council, but many of them had different backgrounds. Some were afraid of the Masters and went along with their orders, a couple of them were ambitious and were feigning obedience to achieve Masterhood, and the rest were simply apathetic to the whole situation.

Eventually we were joined by a Master, though an obscure one and definitely not a Councilor. “In the name of the Jedi High Council,” said Master Orfa Kaniti, a female Rodian, “you are to be detained. Surrender your sabers immediately.”

Alek turned and looked at Revan expectantly. His expression said, “See?”

Revan nodded, prompting all of the Revanchists to simultaneously ignite our own sabers.

“We will surrender our sabers when the Council stops covering up genocide and earns the right to take them!” Kiira screeched defiantly. We all began shouting insults at Master Kaniti and the Knights behind her. Looking back, I think we actually frightened them with our insults and obscene language. Either we reminded them of the stories of Exar Kun and the Brotherhood of the Sith, or our rage was simply that unnerving.

Finally our opponents began backing away slowly. In response we began marching forward until they turned around and broke into a run. It must have been terrifying: we were among the most talented and powerful Knights in the Order, while they were clearly very new to Knighthood.

We made our way into the Jedi Temple to find Padawans and Younglings running away in fear. But we weren't the only source of their terror, for the eight Jedi Council members were present to meet us and they were clearly not in a good mood. But we were just as infuriated as they were, and our rage was a righteous one.

“You were ordered to stand down and surrender!” Vrook bellowed at us. “Does 'respect for the Council and the law' mean nothing--”

“Will you just stuff it where it belongs for once?!” I yelled at him, unable to contain myself. There was a collective gasp from the Padawans and Younglings cowering behind the Masters, and I admit that inside I was just as shocked as they were that I had just told off Vrook Lamar.

“We will no longer recognize the authority of the Jedi Council until said body answers for the concealment of the genocide on Cathar!” added Revan angrily.

“Whatever tragedy took place on Cathar is none of your concern--” Atris began screeching.

“Those were my people you bitch!” Ferroh roared at her. There was more shouting from our side until Revan held up his hand, prompting instant silence from us.

Alek stepped forward. “Why did you cover up Cathar? Were you afraid we would turn our backs on you and carry out the duty of the Jedi ourselves?”

“Well that's what we intend to do,” Revan stated. “That is unless you acknowledge the continued atrocities of the Mandalorian Neo-Crusaders and join our brothers and sisters in the Republic fleet in defending innocent lives.”

“What is this supposed to be?” Kavar scoffed. “You act as if you can just walk out of here and sign up to be conscripted into the Armed Forces. And we warn you, the moment you step out of this temple you will never be allowed in it again.”

“You hear that?!” Kiira asked us. “If we walk out we won't be able to sit around in the gardens again! They will deprive us of the swimming pools!”

“Do you think this is a joke?!” Zhar roared. “You will be expelled from the Jedi Order permanently. You will never be a Jedi again.”

The hall fell silent at these words. Even we Revanchists, who had often openly and flippantly disobeyed the Council's wishes on numerous occassions, were instantly reconsidering the extent to which we were willing to sacrifice home and lifestyle. Even I...even I somehow was caught off guard by the thought of never reaching the rank of Jedi Knight.

Slowly we all began looking towards Revan. Surely he could wipe this fear from our hearts away, restore our courage and our drive to right the wrongs of the world.

A few more seconds passed by and then he sighed heavily. "Perhaps...perhaps I have made a false assumption," he began. "I somehow expected that the evidence would throw this Order into action immediately. I see that I was mistaken." He slowly turned towards us, then back towards the Masters and the various Knights and Padawans cowering behind them. "This act is a personal decision that everyone has to make. I give everyone three hours to review where they stand and to either begin, renew, or abandon their commitment to facing this crisis."

"Three hours," I muttered. I looked back towards my Master and we made eye contact. He nodded at me, and obvious indication he wished to speak to me. I somehow felt obligated to hear him out...he was the man who had looked after me for much of my life, the one who had taught me everything I knew.

Everyone began moving away from Revan in various directions. I looked towards him, and he gave me his nod as if to say, "Do what you have to do."

Trench
08-01-2009, 02:00 PM
Awesome! But I have one question: Is Revan still wearing the mask? Just wondering, because there are no references to it.

Demongo
08-03-2009, 07:53 PM
I enjoy reading this. Really. Keep it up:D

Lord of Hunger
08-15-2009, 07:10 PM
UPDATE: I have revised Chapter 4 and will soon post Chapter 5 as an update to this post. Stay tuned. ;)

EDIT: And here it is. :D

Chapter 5

I followed Master Zez-Kai Ell to the training room that we always used, the automated door closing quietly behind me.

"I know that you feel a sense of obligation towards Revan," he started. "I can understand that. You were always a recluse before you met him and I'm glad you were able to find friends you could connect with."

This was true: I had always been very anti-social towards everyone else in the Order...even towards Master Ell to a certain degree. I had always arrogantly felt that the only people close to my intellectual level were the Masters, and I couldn't really connect with them. So whenever people tried to talk with me the elitist quality of my attitude would always put them off. Sometimes I got along with Master Ell, but never really formed any bonds with him. Then I met Revan, somebody that was easily twice my superior in mental ability. I also met Kiira, who was about on my level, and Alek, who was more of an annoying older brother that I was always trying to beat. Under their influence I found humility and good competition for testing my prowess in the Force.

"Despite this," Master Ell continued, "I must urge you to reconsider what you are doing."

"Don't you think I have already given this a great deal of thought?" I asked him wryly.

"Perhaps," he said with a slight nod. "But you may not be seeing the whole dejarik board. Yes, even I am upset that my fellow Councilors decided to cover up the Genocide, I even tried to stop it! And you know how I feel about Nomi Sunrider's reforms. But think for one moment of what you are throwing away...and what Revan is doing.

"The Jedi Order is at the core of the Republic. We are the greatest shield of the common person, no matter how corrupt the Jedi Council may become. We are the standard of hope for billions who would not have such a thing. When the Sith or any other group has threatened that standard, they threaten those billions and their ability to dream of a better life for themselves. Preserving the integrity of our Order is to protect the aspirations of countless innocents.

"And whether or not the deeds of the Council are despicable, consider what you will loose if you run off before you a ready. There is always the ever persistant danger of the Dark Side."

The Dark Side...often the word that Master use to scare their inferiors away from breaking the Code or breaching our Order's edicate. Yet Master Ell never used it so flippantly as they did. When he mentioned the greatest threat to the heart of each Jedi, he really meant it. We had been taught from the beginning that the Dark Side was all prevalent influence within the Force that constantly hoped for sentient life to give into its temptations and embrace its corruption. It had the power to make even the most noble of heroes become the same sort of villains they would fight. The nightmare of us all.

"Do you think that this war will not affect you? Do you think that you can escape its passion, its corruption? Common sentients come out of wars scarred for life, perverted by the evil that takes place in wake of these violent acts. Even those that seek to end war through battle suffer under the influence of the Dark Side. We Jedi have been warriors before, but only when there was absolutely no other choice, when our survival hanged in the balance. There is danger to your soul if you try to save those innocent lives from the Mandalorians, no matter how good your intentions are."

He walked towards me and place a hand on my shoulder. "I understand that you may feel obligated towards Revan. I will not stop you if you leave the Order out of your own volition. But I beg you to reconsider, if not for the good of the Order, but for the good of your own self."

I bowed my head. "I...understand."

He smiled kindly and left.

*****

I wandered over to the Jedi Archives, more confused and troubled than I had ever been in my life. Would us Revanchists leaving the Order really affect its position amongst the common people? If so, my staying would not stop that as it was likely that a lot of Jedi would wind up leaving anyway. But the idea that war would make me fall, would warp me into something I was not...that honestly scared me.

I found a terminal and entered a search, "Dark Side of the Force." Unfortunately a lot of it was really Jedi propaganda rather than useful information when it came down to it. What did catch my eye was an article called "The Four Stages of the Dark Side" by Jedi Master Tolaris Shim. While some of what she was describing did indeed apply to what Zez-Kai Ell was describing, I was somewhat irritated by what she was saying. It almost sounded like any acts of goodness outside of the direct instruction of a Jedi Master would only result in the Dark Side. Her arguments if anything were in direct opposition to all that Jedi lived to do.

I angrily shut down the terminal, even more troubled than before. Was goodness only attainable through a system that was frankly...arbitrary? What made the Jedi Masters so great? What made the Code right? Was the Dark Side even real? Yet there was a part of me that feared I was already headed towards a fall, just like the commonly used examples of Exar Kun and Ulic Qel-Droma. How I hated hearing those names trumpted at me!

"I sense that you are conflicted."

I spun around, then sighed in relief. "Oh, it's you Master Kae."

Master Arren Kae, one of Revan's many teachers, the Echani Jedi Historian who probably knew more about the Force than all of the Order combined. I had often attend lessons alongside Revan with her. While it was clear she valued Revan more, she tolerated my presence and instructed me in many various Force Forms. While her generally unorthodox views put her at odds with Council, the fact that she held Jedi techniques that would eternally be lost forever upon her death gave her a tenuous position of general respect. It was she who had kept many of the Ossus teachings from being lost following the destruction of the Ossus Library. I often shuddered at the thought of what abilities she could wield in combat, and her Echani training did not help that either.

"You must choose," she said simply. "What loyalties matter to you the most? Do you feel obligated to stand alongside your greatest friend? Is it you desire to save the innocent? Or do you wish to do your part in keeping the Order's integrity stable? Perhaps you even feel the fear of the Dark Side? Many questions fill your mind, and only one answer can be given to one question."

"And the choice I make determines what kind of person I am," I muttered.

Master Kae nodded. "Indeed."

As quickly as she had appeared she started to leave. "I cannot make your choice for you, Avenian Cthol," she said as she walked away. "But I can tell you one thing: There is a difference between a sacrifice and a fall, and few understand that difference." And she was gone.

I was not sure what to make of what she said. How did it apply to my situation? I had not made any great sacrifices yet and I doubted that I had fallen to the Dark Side yet as I wasn't brutally attacking innocents. Was I supposed to sacrifice something? I was only more confused than before.

"Well that was helpful," I muttered sarcastically. I then remembered that the three hours were almost up and began making my way back to where I had left Revan.

*****

"This will be very simple," announced Revan as we all entered the hall. "Whoever has made or renew their commitment to fighting the Mandalorian threat has only to stand beside me. If not, remain where you are."

The first to join Revan was Ferroh, who practically sprinted over. He was followed by Alek, how instead had taken his time to walk over. Slowly, both current and new Revanchists. I saw others such as Voren and Cale make their way over to confirm their loyalties.

I was still conflicted and was without a decision. What really mattered to me? My soul? The Order? Innocent lives? My closest friend? I repeated the question in my heart without success. I could not find an answer.

My eyes caught Revan's. It was as if he could tell exactly what I was feeling. His understanding look said, "Whatever you choose, I understand."

Without willing it, a memory resurfaced. I was in classroom under the supervision of Master Vrook. We were building lightsaber hilts. I held in my hand a Sapith crystal, which I had been rewarded for my dilegant studies. These crystals despite their power needed to be handled with care.

Another student was sitting beside me, working very carefully. I did not know him at the time, as there were many students in the Temple and I had never been interested in learning their names. He had an air of confidence that would have normally put me on edge but strangely made me feel confident myself. Yet this confidence was my undoing, for when I attempted to set the crystal inside the chamber I carelessly cracked it, thus ruining the crystal.

"Avenian!"

It was almost as if Master Vrook had teleported to my location and could hear even the smallest scratch, for I swore the last time I saw him he was halfway across the classroom. "Do you know exactly how rare Sapith crystals are?!" he thundered. "I thought such a student as yourself would--"

"It was my fault, Master Vrook!" It was the student by my side. "I accidentally knudged him in the ribs while trying to connect the emitter," he lied.

While I was stunned and wordless, Master Vrook seemed to buy the deception. "Hmmph, I should have known it was you Revan," he growled. "I will speak to your Master about cleaning the fountains as your punishment. So careless...."

As he walked off to get me another crystal, I regained the ability of speech and whispered, "Thank you."

Revan chuckled. "Not a problem," he replied. "Just repay the favor when you can."

That was the day I had first met Revan, and we had become friends in those moments.

And then Master Kae's words popped up in my head. "There is a difference between a sacrifice and a fall, and few understand that difference."

Those words and that memory clarified everything. For one thing, I didn't give a damn about the Jedi Order at this point. The Council had lost every bit of respect that it claimed to have deserved from me. As for the Dark Side and saving innocents, if doing good meant sacrificing one's self to evil then I was prepared to make that sacrifice. And my loyalty...my loyalty was to Revan. I should have known that ever since I had met him that day. I would not be the sort of person to abandon my friend.

The other Revanchists were looking in my direction expectantly. I would not keep them waiting any longer. I picked up one foot and put it in front of the other, then did the same thing over and over again until I was there, right beside him.

"I choose you," I said to him. "No matter what happens."

He nodded, smiling more widely than I had ever seen him ever smile. I think he was proud of me that day, or perhaps relieved to have my company. After all, this choice must have been even harder for him at the time.

"About time," Alek smirked. "You were almost late yet again." We shook hands, both grinning like a pair of idiots.

We waited a couple of minutes for everyone to make up their mind. All the original Revanchists were among our ranks, save one...Kiira. We all looked expectantly towards her, but she stood their hanging her head. Revan looked almost as if he was in panic. Had his own girlfriend betrayed him?

Eventually she raised her head. Her look was apologetic and was directed at Revan in particular. She was also shaking. What had been said to change her mind? This was a major turn of events.

I looked back at Revan. His look had changed from panic to anger. It would have been one thing for me to have stayed behind, but there was supposedly some sort of unsaid understanding between Revan and Kiira that wherever one went, the other followed.

We waited one more minute and no more joined us. Our numbers had clearly increased. There were no masters, but a large number of Knights and a few Padawans. We were still somewhat outnumbered by the opposition, but many of them were apprentices who were clearly confused as to what this was even about.

"Is this your final decision?" Revan asked the Masters.

"It is," replied Lona Vash. "We had hoped you would have trusted in the wisdom of the Council--"

"I see no wisdom," Revan cut across. "I see cowardice, apathy, and self-importance." He turned his back on the Masters and addressed us. "We leave now."

Silently we marched out of the Temple, the building filled with only the solemn sound of our boots hitting the floor.

Darth_Yuthura
08-15-2009, 10:26 PM
I liked it. The backstory about Revan and the Sapith crystal was a nice touch.

I wonder what brought Kiira to turn away from that. Look forward to more.

Trench
08-17-2009, 01:18 PM
Nice! Keep it up:D.

Lord of Hunger
08-20-2009, 08:25 PM
And now for....

Chapter 6

The Present

“So you would claim that it was your loyalty to Revan rather than your desire to save innocents that led you to fight in the Mandalorian Wars?” the Supreme Chancellor inquired.

I grinned slightly. “Yes, I guess I would claim that.”

Cressa paused then asked, “Is it possible that these actions were not of your own free will and merely Revan’s persuasive influence?” There was some muttering in the chamber. I could see Vrook snort, as if to say “How could it not be so?”

I shook my head in an obvious ‘no’. “There are many reasons why that would not happen. One would be that at the time, Revan only wanted the willing to join the Revanchists. Another would be that there is a limit to how far his persuasive abilities work on Force Sensitives. And finally, Revan preferred at the time to avoid controlling others.”

“Are you sure? You do realize your loyalties to Revan are biased in the eyes of the Senate.”

I snorted. “Hardly as biased as anyone else. I am one of the few individuals in this Galaxy to ever know him on a personal level, which makes me more of an objective source of information than just a mere character witness. If you are looking for bias, look behind you towards the ancient relics that called Jedi.”

Amid the renewed shouting, I saw Atris almost stand up in rage until Lona Vash pulled her back into her seat. The only Jedi I’ve known to ever possess a constantly calm demeanor are certain Gray Jedi.

“ORDER!!!” the Supreme Chancellor shouted once more, and the rage died out once again. “Avenian Cthol, are there any individuals you have known with a degree of persuasive power close to that of Revan?”

“One,” I answered. “A woman of the likes I had never seen before….”

3,963 BBY…

Shortly after leaving the Jedi Order, we all took our oaths and were formally admitted into the Republic military. Due to nature as Jedi (or rather former Jedi), we were not actually part of any branch of the Armed Forces, nor did we have any ranks at the time. We were simply the Force users who had broken off from the Jedi Order and agreed to help the Republic.

At the time, we weren’t exactly popular with the Republic. The attitude of the generals towards us could be summarized as, “At least some of you joined.” Never before this point had the Jedi refused to provide aid when it was asked for. We would have to earn their trust.

To assess our value, the generals started having us defend trade routes. It was perhaps the least opportune way of demonstrating our prowess as the Mandalorians were prone to attacking civilian worlds rather than the routes that connected them. Still, we saw some combat and easily kept the flow of supplies going.

At one point, Revan sent Alek (who had completely adopted his alias Malak by this time as his true name even amongst close friends) and I to Dantooine. It was the second largest Jedi training facility at the time, and we would need yet more recruits if we were to have any impact in the war when the generals deployed us on the battlefield.

Our arrival at Dantooine was met with far less hostility than on Coruscant. Either it was the calm, almost numbing atmosphere of the planet or the Council had resigned itself to our defection. Either way, we were greeted kindly by Master Dorak, the presiding historian there.

“Greetings,” said Master Dorak as we bowed to each other respectfully. “I am sure you realize that your actions are not sanctioned by the Order and any support is of individuals rather than this facility.”

“We understand perfectly, Master Dorak,” I replied. “And rest assured that we are only here in this recruiting drive to ask, not to coerce. Is there a large meeting place we can use?”

“I can only permit you to hold any such ceremony outside the walls of the Enclave,” Dorak explained. “As I said, your actions are not sanctioned by the Order.”

“I see. Thank you for your time.”

We bowed to each other again, Malak saying nothing at the time. He had been a bit more reserved since we first saw combat. He was quite itchy to finally be on the front lines, and I admit I shared some of that urge myself.

There was fortunately a large space outside the exterior entrance. We set out letting the Jedi there know about our recruitment drive. I visited the sparing rooms while Malak Force sped across the Dantooine Outback. As with the Coruscant Temple, the apprentices were quite afraid of us, and the Knights and Padawans somewhat cautious. Obviously the Masters had been spreading rumors. I even heard a couple of female apprentices whispering “Dark Jedi” behind my back. The battle to earn the support of the Jedi here would be an uphill battle.

Towards the end of the day, we held our meeting. Around a hundred or so gathered around the two of us. Since I knew nothing of speechcraft and persuasion, I let Malak do the talking while I took out a datapad to record the names of those who would sign on.

“Brothers and sisters, we are in a time of great crisis,” Malak began. “Never since Exar Kun have we faced such an enemy so willing to destroy the peace and prosperity we all cherish so deeply. Across the Outer Rim, the Mandalorians in their endless bloodlust ravage the homes of the innocent, with no goal other than to bring about the end of civilization itself. Our brothers and sisters in the Armed Forces have pleaded for our help, yet the Masters in their lofty chambers refuse. They say a ‘greater evil’ would come of it.”

I heard someone snort. It was a young Padawan with gray eyes, brown hair, and a face that screamed, “stodgy.” I had met her once before in my life on Coruscant: Bastila Shan, the famous apprentice who had a natural affinity for Battle Meditation. I cannot begin to describe how much she has always in any time I have met her gotten on my nerves to the point where I’ve had the deep urge to smack her in the face.

"Do not heed the words of the Jedi Council,” said Malak pleadingly. “The Republic will fall if we do not act now. Already the Mandalorians have taken three systems along the Rim. They will only grow more powerful with time. Come stand with me. We will use our might to help the Republic in its time of need. Join Revan and I. Together, we will battle this menace."

“Count me in!” called out a black-haired female Guardian in the front.

“Name?” I asked.

“Cariaga Sin,” she replied proudly. “I’m not going to sit around and ignore reality like the Council.”

“Same here!” said a male Consular with blond hair. “The name’s Talvon Esan.”

“And I!” announced another man with dark skin and hair. “I’m Xaset Terep.”

I was not surprised. These Jedi must have been planning to join from the start, and were just waiting for Malak to make his speech.

“I would like to make a stand too,” said a blond-haired female Sentinel. “My name is Nisotsa, and I will not sit back while innocents die.”

“Which is also why I will join,” another woman announced. I had noticed her earlier when we had first begun the speech as features stood out to me in particular. Very slender, early twenties, shinny brown hair tied into a bun in the back, and matching eyes. Her expression was that of an extremely empathic individual, the sort of person who showed compassion to even her worst enemies. Everything about her made me want to…connect with her? Bond? It was a very weird feeling.

In summary, she was the polar opposite of Bastila…which made me like her a lot.

“My name is Arianna Videa,” she said. The quality of her voice was similar to Revan’s in that it had that hypnotic lull to it, yet it was very different in that Revan’s persuasion caused obedience while this Arianna’s caused inspiration and admiration. “And I see no reason to stop carrying out the duty of a Jedi, even when the Council says otherwise.”

“That’s right!” shouted someone in the crowd, which was followed by others vocalizing their agreement. We had obviously found a treasure in this woman, since it was obvious that her persuasive abilities combined with Revan would both bolster our ranks and maintain moral.

I was flooded by close to fifty Jedi practically begging to join our cause. The opposition consisted of twenty younger and very sulky Jedi, Bastila among them, stood in the back watching us with scornful looks. Whether it was Arianna’s influence or the lack of a Master to inspire fear did not matter…we had made a landfall success here.

After a few minutes, I had almost everyone registered. The last person in line was interestingly Arianna.

“Ah, Arianna Videa right?” I said as I punched in her name. “You were pretty—"

The next thing I knew was that she was kissing me right on the lips and I was completely stunned. Whether it was the fact that I had never been kissed before in my life or that our very first social interaction was for her to make out with me, I still do not know.

“…helpful,” I finished quietly after she stopped.

“Don’t mention it,” she said sweetly, then kissed me again quickly and ran off. I was left there happily smiling like I never had before.

Canderis
08-20-2009, 09:58 PM
“Ah, Arianna Videa right?” I said as I punched in her name. “You were pretty—"

The next thing I knew was that she was kissing me right on the lips and I was completely stunned. Whether it was the fact that I had never been kissed before in my life or that our very first social interaction was for her to make out with me, I still do not know.

“…helpful,” I finished quietly after she stopped.

“Don’t mention it,” she said sweetly, then kissed me again quickly and ran off. I was left there happily smiling like I never had before.

That was... unexpected.

:xp::laughing:

Agincourt
08-21-2009, 09:06 AM
That last part was unexpected.

The only thing I think that part lacked was someone on the opposite side trying to persuade people that war was against the jedi code. I think that someone like Bastila would grandstand like Malak was.

Lord of Hunger
09-03-2009, 03:52 PM
Sorry to keep everyone waiting. Hopefully the work I put into this chapter will pay off. :)

Chapter 7

Our official entry into the Mandalorian Wars took place following the Battle of Ithor and the Second Battle of Iridonia. Our defense of the supply lanes had helped the Republic by renewing their forces and improving their morale. Although having a Jedi fighting with you in the front is preferable, to the Republic soldiers having them in the back was almost as good. The fact that the Republic was able to win on their own also gave the Generals the nudge needed to let us fight on the front lines, as many of them actually hated the idea of the Revanchists saving their rears.

With that obstacle removed, we were all made officers and given command of roughly one third of the Republic Armed Forces. Myself, Malak, Arianna, Voren, Ferroh, and Revan were all made Generals, Revan being our superior. While it was good to have our first command, many of us wished for a different command: the one third of the Armed Forces were in control of was the third that had seen the most combat, the most losses in battle, and the most defeats. Our soldiers were also very ill-equipped, poorly trained, and demoralized from rapid Mandalorian victories.

“So they gave us this,” Malak scowled when we inspecting our forces for the first time.

“Well on the bright side,” began Voren, “on the bright side...wait, I can't think of a brightside.”

I shook my head. “And this is why the Republic never wins wars without the help of the Jedi anymore,” said I.

Revan nodded in agreement. “The Republic Armed Forces use swarm tactics for every occasion, and always has the new recruits on the front lines before the veterans,” he analyzed. “What they don't understand is that when fighting against Mandalorians overrunning them just doesn't cut it. If your forces aren't even able to put a blaster to the enemy's head and pull the trigger then you’re just wasting soldiers.”

“Then let's make it possible for them to pull that trigger,” said Arianna.

“What did you have in mind?” I asked, intrigued.

“I've been asking around about social conduct around here. You have rank segregation as a standard: Soldiers only eat and bunk with soldiers. Officers only eat and bunk with officers. Generals only eat with generals, and bunk by themselves. If there is one thing I understand about people its that they like to connect and not being able to connect is emotionally unhealthy. No soldiers is going to fight alongside an officer who isn't willing to interact with them unless they are coerced.”

“So if we start reconnecting the ranks their entire attitude about the war will change,” Ferroh reasoned.

“Yes,” Arianna agreed. “They won't feel like they've been thrown unwillingly into someone else's war. They'll start fighting for each other.”

Revan nodded. “Alert all officers that all personnel will dine and bunk together as of this moment. Any officers who fail to do so will be put on janitorial duty for a week.”

As Arianna predicted, morale vastly improved. Not only was it good to have officers regularly interacting with soldiers, but the latter were very pleased to be working alongside Jedi.

My first battle was at Dagary Minor alongside Arianna. It was one of our early losses though the Mandalorians only won after loosing about two thirds of their own soldiers. I remember fighting along a soldier by the name of Xaart. I had met him earlier when we had first taken command. The look in his eyes at that time had been very sullen, the look of someone who felt betrayed. But as he was firing his rifle and I was deflecting blaster bolts, his look was that of empowerment. Even after the retreat, he told me that he felt like he could take on Mandalore the Ultimate himself right then and there. I told Xaart that I'd personally drag Mandalore over so that he could have his way with that insane war-monger.

Then came Eres III, and that was also a defeat. Although the presence of Force Sensitives on the Republic side was causing the Mandalorian Neo-Crusaders to take massive losses, the sheer power of the Basilisk War Droids resulted in yet another retreat. Yet before we left our fighter squadrons managed to take out three of their battle-cruisers. However slowly, the tide of battle was turning in our favor. Revan's tactics, our lightsabers and Force powers, and the new resolve of the soldiers was having an impact on the overall war, as the Mandalorian assault was slowly grinding to a halt.

Duro was the next battle, though I was not there. In fact, there were few of our forces there either, most those of the other Republic Generals. The loss that the Armed Forces suffered was catastrophic not for the Republic, but for the Duros species: their homeworld was completely annihilated, transformed into a dead rock and the orbiting cities were crushed into some much debris. This defeat spurred us to make a come back. Rather than wait for the Mandalorians to strike again, we were going to attack them first.

Our target was Taris, nicknamed the Coruscant of the Outer Rim. If we took Taris, it would completely throw the tide of war around and possible break the current Mandalorian belief of their own natural superiority.

Revan had chosen Taris for a specific reason: It was where the true talents of the Republic Armed Forces would have the most success against the enemy. Mandalorians are natural warriors, and what natural warriors hate the most is fighting in a siege battle. Maneuverability drops significantly and the terrain is more complex. Any Mandalorian would prefer to fight on a battlefield than guard a city...especially an ecumepolis like Taris.

Meanwhile, the Republic's soldiers were more of a state police. They were used to being garrisoned on densely populated worlds and navigating through alleyways. Also, they were good at working squads and utilizing number advantages.

Of course, underestimating the Mandalorians would be a deadly failure. When they had something to defend, Mandalorians would fight to the death. Retreating and surrendering had little meaning for them. Thus, we would have to be prepared to kill without hesitation and take no prisoners. As gruesome as it sounded, not a single Mandalorian could be left alive. To make this point clear, Revan placed a standing order that anyone accommodating any Mandalorian requests for surrender or physical relief from battle would be arrested and court marshaled. Not a single person questioned the order.

I remember the day that the battle began. I was in a fighter craft speeding towards the planet, reentry flames and Mandalorian AA fire all around me. It was among the most trilling and terrifying moments of my life, and the fact that I was leading this charge made it even more so.

This attack was a diversion as the fleet was sneaking around to catch the Mandalorian defense fleet by surprise. Most of the fighters and shuttles behind me were salvaged craft controlled by droids. They were not meant to transport troops but to give the illusion of such and then crash into the AA towers while the few of us that were actual soldiers landed. The Mandalorians, not the brightest individuals despite their amazing courage in battle, would instantly be drawn to the point of the attack while Revan's forces would come up from behind and blast them into oblivion.

Unlike just about every Jedi I had ever met I was not a natural pilot. However, my training as a Consular provided me with a greater sense of precognition. I knew when turbolaser fire was headed my way and I could easily dodge. Of course, the problem was that there was plenty of turbolaser fire to go around.

That was where my own weaponry came in.

Seeing my ship fire and an AA tower blown to pieces was simply exhilarating. Both my own shouts of excitement and that of my men filed our com to the point of drowning out every other noise. I was in the middle of a situation where one well-placed shot could end my life and here I was as happy as a Youngling with his first training saber. I wondered...was this what it meant to be a Mandalorian? If so, that would explain a lot.

I found the perfect landing site, a stretch of platform connecting several skyscrapers that was filled with Mandalorians firing at me. It was not long enough for a complete deceleration, but I didn't need that. I flew in and right as my fighter was about to crash I grabbed my saber and jettisoned out of the craft and it rammed into a turret post and took out at least three Mandalorians. With the Force I was able to land on the ground with no injury. Immediately blaster fire rained on me, but I was prepared. To compensate for Makashi's lack of defense against blasters, Master Ell had instructed me in the technique of redirecting lasers with my hands and the Force. Every shot was but ammunition that I used with the technique in tandem with my Force Speed. To the Mandalorians I must have looked like I had hundreds of arms, all of them grabbing blaster fire and hurling it back at them. They all had helmets on so I could not see their expressions, but I felt fear arise in each one. IT was very reassuring.

I sensed my troops and several other Jedi land behind me while skeleton craft crashed into the AA towers. We were already cutting down the Mandalorians and the battle droids they had deployed like a farmer harvesting his crops. Mandalorians liked to give everyone the impression that they were fearless, but even they had nightmares. This must have been one of them: having to defend an urban environment against enraged Republic soldiers and sorcerers wielding a magic that they could not begin to comprehend. Admirably, none of them were fleeing as retreat had no meaning in their culture other than shame. It made it easier for us as we just wanted to cut them down there and then rather than have to deal with them later.

“Follow me!” I shouted as the last enemy on that platform fell. We ran through a building to another platform, yet more Mandalorians waiting for us.

* * *

Despite our ferocious attacks, the Mandalorians were not falling easily. Revanchists such as I had difficulty with hand-to-hand combat as our opponents wielded vibroswords with cortosis weave built into them. This cut down on our combat advantage. More over, we were often deflecting friendly fire in addition to our own.

Word soon reached my ears that Malak had finally landed and was leading the main assault on the Mandalorian HQ. The stories I was told were not that of a Jedi Guardian but of some frightening war-god able to smash metal with his bare hands. Indeed, we Revanchists were fulfilling many various ancient depictions of various primitive deities. I found out later on that among a sub-race of the Mandalorians I resembled Kataviish, the Ten-Armed God of Death. Malak apparently was known as Orcote the Iron Fisted God of Justice among the Kiffar. To no surprise of mine, Arianna was compared to Sondria the Holy Queen-Goddess of Salvation (also among the Kiffar). And Revan…apparently to some Mandalorians he was Isom’alor, the Steel-Faced God of War and Destruction. Though we never said it aloud, I think we probably enjoyed being Gods.

After wiping out the Mandalorians in the sector I landed in, I hooked up with Revan at our temporary HQ. Though I couldn't see his face behind the mask, his hunched over shoulders told me that something had upset him.

“The west sectors are being secured now, General Revan,” I greeted, my tone particularly snarky on the word 'general'.

“Ah, General Avenian,” he greeted back in the same manner. “How would you like to help eliminate slavery?”

I blinked. “Slavery?”

Revan turned to a digital map of Taris. “We have recently discovered that the Mandalorians are not the only major power in charge of this planet. The Exchange has an extensive operation on this world involving the trafficking of slaves. In fact, new intel confirms a business alliance between the Mandalorians and the Exchange.”

Now this was my turn to be angry. “The Exchange, huh?” I growled. There was one reason in particular why the Revanchists including myself had no faith in the Republic's government, particularly the Senate. The Exchange was that reason.

The Exchange was a massive criminal organization that had its hand in just about every illegal act in the Galaxy. Run by the Companeer and his council of Crime Lords, the Exchange rivaled the Hutts in every area of criminal activity: smuggling, pirating, assassination, racketeering, arson, slavery, and much more.

But they were ultimately the product of the natural corruption of the Republic Senate. The Hutts were able to evade the law because they were a legal organization dealing in illegal activities, and much of their deeds were far more concealed. The Exchange however was much more blatant about what they did and were able to manipulate the law by bribing Senator and security officials. Resolving the situation with the Hutts would involve a war with a powerful force within the Republic, but handling the Exchange merely took proper police work. In that sense, ever deed done by the Exchange was the fault of the Republic.

“The Exchange has a small base in one of the Lower City Districts where they keep various slaves,” Revan explained. “As soon as General Malak, General Ferroh, and General Arianna rejoin us we are going to take a break from cutting down Mandalorians and cut down criminals for a bit.”

“Tired of glory in combat already?”

“A little. It gets repetitive and gruesome after a while. Besides, if the Republic isn't going to do its job, then why don't we do it for them now while we have the opportunity?”

* * *

The Exchange thugs proved to be rather pathetic. I felt the entire time like I was fighting a small army of training droids at the Temple of Coruscant at the lowest difficulty. Eventually I got tired of taking them on individually and began using Force Waves.

We attempted to be thorough, but to our frustration the local Crime Lord Davik Kang managed to use the chaos of the battle to escape. Given how large Taris was, trying to weed him out would be impossible. We did, however, seize a massive store of spice and credits.

The slave quarters were not a pretty sight. Most of the slaves were female Twi'leks, but to Ferroh's terrifying rage there were plenty of Cathar too.

I saw Revan kneel before a young Cathar girl. “What's your name?” he asked calmly.

“J-J-Juhani, sir,” the little girl said, both in terror and awe.

Revan grabbed his lightsaber and in one swift move sliced off her shackles. The light above him was position so perfectly that it probably gave him some sort of halo when facing the girl. It was an amazing moment.

“Juhani,” he said, “you are free now. May the Force be with you.”

The look in her eyes was quite beautiful. We must have been Gods, though ones far different from the war deities of the Mandalorians. To them, Revan may have been Isom'alor, but to the little Cathar called Juhani he was a personal savior.

(And that's all for today. It may seem like I am going overboard with how great the Revanchists are and all that, but trust me, things are going to get really gruesome pretty soon. Stay tuned for Chapter 8 and the Battle of Dxun! :D )

Trench
09-03-2009, 04:57 PM
Well done!:thmbup1: Can't wait for the next chapter.:D

VarsityPuppet
09-04-2009, 01:06 AM
I've read the prologue and a little under half of the first chapter. So far, I like it.

It's kinda premature to provide criticism at this point, but I can say that the prologue wasn't particularly luring... What drew me in was Avenian's semi-sarcastic personality (like the description of the Jedi) and his ability to use higher level english :D.

I will continue reading at a later time.

Canderis
09-07-2009, 02:08 AM
Well done!:thmbup1: Can't wait for the next chapter.:D

My thoughts exactly!

Shuttle Atlantis
09-14-2009, 05:00 PM
Read.

Feagildin
11-02-2009, 11:26 PM
Is there gonna be any more? Just wondering because it's been a while since your last post, I just read it and have enjoyed it thus far! ;)

Lord of Hunger
11-02-2009, 11:42 PM
Hi! Wow, it's been awhile since Chapter 7, hasn't it?

Well just to clarify, I was working on Chapter 8 for awhile. However, I lost all the work I did on it, so I got very frustrated as you can imagine. Then other things came up, and I forgot about this fanfic...mostly.

But yeah, as soon as my schedule eases up, I'm gonna start over on Chapter 8 again.

Thanks for reading. :D

D'oh
12-04-2009, 12:33 AM
Very nice, Any ETA on chapter 8 ?

Lord of Hunger
12-04-2009, 05:54 AM
Sometime during the holidays. I've been extremely busy recently, but I have definitely not forgot I, Avenian. I have actually been revising my plan for the ending, which lead into *drumroll* a sequel.

D'oh
12-04-2009, 01:17 PM
Cool !! Thanks for the update.

Lord of Hunger
12-17-2009, 03:14 AM
After far too much delay IMO....

Chapter 8

The Battle of Taris was indeed the great turning point in the Mandalorian Wars. From here on out the balance between Republic assaults and Mandalorian assaults was about even. Revan had not risen in actual rank, but he was unofficially the head strategist of the entire Republic war effort. The generals from other two thirds of the Armed Forces were constantly coordinating with him, rarely questioning him and often treating him as if he were of superior rank. The fact was, he had taken the weakest part of the whole Republic Army and transformed it into an effective fighting force that had won the most important battle of the entire war so far.

Revan was not the only strategist central to the war effort. In addition to Arianna and myself providing input on the frontlines, we had been assigned Admiral Saul Karath. While not on Revan's level, Karath knew the Republic Armed Forces like no one else and was beside Revan the Republic's most competent strategist. He was also quite ruthless, taking surge tactics to a whole new level.

As the war went on, Revan with some help from Saul designed a completely new tactical approach to the war. Rather than spread ourselves out to protect every world we could, we removed entire garrisons to strengthen our defenses on certain worlds while leaving others completely open. While several civilian worlds were decimated, we won far many more engagements and wiped out an entire section of the Mandalorian fleet.

“Revan, should we honestly be fighting like...Mandalorians?” Ferroh asked incredulously at our generals' meeting two weeks after the Battle of Taris. “I have no hesitation in slaughtering them, but these tactics that we are employing...we are literally abandoning our own civilian worlds and let our enemies burn them.”

Revan nodded. “Yes...yes, we are.”

“Then why--”

“Because that's how we win,” Revan interrupted, turning away from Ferroh. “You know something? I really hate war. I'm not talking about battles mind you. As the Echani point out, conflict is the place where meaning is revealed. War...war is a game of numbers, no meaning other than who has the numbers needed to win.”

We all watched as he paced around the room. “War is where things like empathy and basic sentient rights are a detriment to achieving a goal. Every soldier, every civilian, every weapon, every ounce of kolto is but a resource. The thing is, I'm good at war. I'm good at seeing the numbers, changing the numbers, even erasing the numbers. And in fact when it comes to war I can only see the numbers no matter how much I try.

“The numbers tell me that for every civilian I sacrifice I save the life of a thousand others. Now this view could be considered utilitarian at best, but the fact is the goal of this war is to save lives that would otherwise be lost. I can't save every single one, so I have to find out what options I have to save the most lives possible.”

Not even Ferroh disagreed with him. We all knew that he was right: Not only were civilian lives being saved, but so were soldiers as well. Our battle casualties had dropped dramatically because in each battle we always had reinforcements ready. And the fact was, if we tried to save ever world we probably would have lost all of them.

“In any event,” Saul began. “Now that we have the bastards running with their tails
in-between their legs I think it is time we targeted the heart of the war effort.”

Arianna blinked. “You mean Dxun,” she said.

“I do indeed. Dxun is the central Mandalorian training ground and the location of a massive compound. The moon itself is heavily defended by anti-aircraft tower complexes, but if we all chip in our brain power I think we can figure out a siege strategy that'll trump what you lot did at Taris.”

I nodded in agreement. “I don't like the idea of assaulting such a well-defended place, but the Onderon underground resistance could use a little hope. Vaklu and his lot could use the support.”

Revan turned to face us all, his solemn mood improved. “I agree, Vaklu has been fighting the good fight for far too long,” he announced. “Let's--”

What occurred then was so quick that before I knew it I had my lightsaber drawn and was blocking a pure white blade of energy. Six men and women in grey robes had fallen through the ceiling and were attacking us, my opponent being a man with brown hair and blue eyes--

But they had lightsabers.

How? Were they Jedi? I could feel the Force in them, they were definitely Force Sensitive. My opponent's fighting style was Ataru and was very Jedi in its form: even, focused, balanced. But at the same time it wasn't Jedi, because the obvious intent was to kill....

I stopped trying to figure out what they were and concentrated in killing my enemy. One thing we had learned so far in the Mandalorian Wars was that the Jedi fighting style only really excelled in Soresu, where the goal was endurance. Otherwise, a skilled opponent such as a Mandalorian would be able to overwhelm a Jedi simply by adding more power to certain attacks. Ataru heavily focused on acrobatics, but as this was a Jedi's version my opponent was only particularly good at dodging. Thus, when I landed my strikes with Makashi they were too much. He had to compensate by putting more energy than he was used to into defense, making his attacks weaker and tiring him.

Eventually I managed to get the killing blow in. He was attempted to deflect my saber away, twist, and hit my on my right side. However, I used this opportunity to turn my wrists and land a thrust into his heart as he completed the twist. His death was short, but I did not take my blade out until several moments later.

I turned around to find all of the other assassins dead. Saul was up against a wall with his blaster pistol drawn. Revan was in a chair, looking completely shocked. Malak and Voren were attempting to restrain Ferroh, who had completely lost it and was still trying to attack his opponent. And Arianna...she was still hacking at her enemy's corpse, tears of anguish and rage spilling down her cheeks as she quietly hissed, “Damn you damn you damn you” over and over again. I walked over and grabbed both her wrists, prompting her to drop her saber and collapse into my arms weeping loudly.

“Take her back to her quarters,” Revan ordered from his chair, his voice lacking any sort of emotion at all. “I'll inform security.”

* * *

I took Arianna to her quarters. After awhile she took a shower and then went to sleep. I didn't blame her: we were all very emotionally strained from the war and having to deal with an assassination attempt by fellow Jedi was enough to push anyone to the edge.
Saul called me into his quarters later that evening. “Revan had security check out the bodies,” he explained sadly. “No identification whatsoever, nothing to suggest where they or their possessions came from. All we know about them is that they were Force Sensitives and they were trying to kill us.”

“I see,” I remarked quietly.

Saul grinned and grabbed a bottle of Tarisian Ale that was on a nearby table.

“Something tells me that we could all use one of these,” he said. “Take the whole thing.”

“Thanks Saul.”

That night I took the liberty of emptying the entire bottle. Needless to say I remembered nothing else that had occurred other than I woke up on the floor with a massive hangover.

* * *

After two days, the Republic Judiciary and the Jedi Order both sent a small delegation regarding the assassination attempted. We were hoping that we would finally get a formal investigation team to start tracing the identity of the assassins. What we got was quite...unexpected.

“Investigator Solen!” Revan greeted, Malak and I waiting behind him. The Investigator was a tall elderly man with a very stern look. “I trust your journey wasn't too unpleasant?”

“Not at all, General Revan,” Solen replied. “However, I would save the warm greeting as I won't be staying long.”

Revan frowned. “I don't understand--”

“There will be no investigation.”

Somehow it felt like one of my nightmares was happening in real life. Behind Solen stepped none other than Bastila Shan, who had a very smug look on her face. “There will be no investigation,” she repeated slowly, as if she were savoring the taste of a rare cuisine. “You see, it is obvious that these assailants were indeed Jedi. Currently public opinion of the Jedi Order is quiet fragile from the Covenant affair and we wouldn't want the Holonet getting wind of another incident now would we?”

Revan glared and turned back towards Solen. “That's a flimsy excuse and you know it,” he said. “Why is the Republic going along with this?”

Solen raised an eyebrow. “Why? Why not? The Jedi Council...petitioned the Supreme Court to hand this affair over to them. Considering that you are walking a very fine line with the Judiciary over your current war conduct, I wouldn't start complaining.”

I had enough. I drew my saber and started running at Bastila. My mind was lost to mad rage, the memory of Arianna crying playing like a loop and the sight of the smug grin...intolerable. Then I felt a pair of strong hands grab me and pull me back into a wall. I recognized Malak's strength and quickly realized that I wouldn't be able to do anything, so I didn't resist but rather fumed.

Revan walked towards Bastila until he was right in her face. “I promise you, one day you will experience passion to an unparalleled degree,” he growled at her. “It will shatter every petty preconception you have and destroy all that you are. And I also promise you that the very passion that destroyed you will also save you.”

He walked out of the dock bay, Malak and I following his lead.

“I wish you hadn't done that,” said Revan as we walked, not even looking at me.

“So do I, but I'm only human,” I answered, still seething. “Not much to be done but keep
going.”

“Yeah.”

After awhile Malak finally spoke. “The damn Council is rotten to the bone, isn't it?”

“Oh, and some of the normal members,” I remarked. “Some people....”

“A lot of people,” Revan said. “But then again, our job is to save them even if they don't deserve it.”

“Here, here.”

((Next: The Battle of Dxun and a discovery that may change Avenian's life forever. No guarantees, but I am aiming to post tomorrow.))

Feagildin
12-18-2009, 12:08 PM
Mmm, Dxun should be good! Bastila was always like that eh? lol I always pictured her turning into that only after her BM manifested. Nice work!:thmbup1:

Working Class Hero
12-31-2009, 08:51 PM
Love the story! The only thing I would change is that the prologue is very much first person, personal dialogue. The story then ends up being about Revan, so I was sort of confused. :raise:

Tangster
01-02-2010, 09:51 AM
Very good. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Te Darasuum Mandalor
01-02-2010, 10:16 AM
This is, no doubt, one of the BEST FANFICS EVER!

Det. Bart Lasiter
01-09-2010, 05:19 PM
isn't alek trevelyan the dude from goldeneye why didn't you bring in xena onatopp instead

Lord of Hunger
01-10-2010, 01:10 AM
Alex Trevelyan is the Revan PC made by Darth Yuthura (I had full permission of course). Beyond that I have no idea. I may change it to a PC name of my own.

Istorian
02-04-2010, 10:46 AM
Excellent story, and I am excited by your writing skills, my partner! :xp: I must say they can be seen as equal to your modding skills!! :D There is a very good story here, and I like all the characters you've created, as well as your conception of Revan's complex character! There is only one thing that disappoints me. The fact that there has been one and a half month since the latest chapter and I really can't wait for Chapter 9! Keep up the good work, and I honestly don't want to rush you, it was a joke! ;)

Slstoev
02-21-2010, 10:12 AM
Since LoH has retired could someone continue the fic from his name.
I know you have to ask LoH if he will continue it, for permission, or for anything else.

P.S. No offense Lord of Hunger if you see this.

Lord of Hunger
02-21-2010, 11:13 PM
Indeed, I did retire due to real life obligations. The only reason why I visit here (which is rare) is:

a) To help finish the Shinobi RP, which takes up little of my time and I want to help Phantom Knight see to completion.

b) To check out how my former teammates are doing, as well as Sleheyron RP and other such projects.

For all I know, I might be able to return during summer (no guarantees whatsoever) and even then I'd only give advice and such.

But yeah, Slstoev? I do take offense to that. I wasn't writing I, Avenian purely to entertain everyone and it is my work. No one is to write this fan fic other than myself, and even if I return come summer time I probably won't finish this.

For one thing, this was meant to be paired with Darth Yuthura's Shrouded In Darkness (which the two of us agreed upon). I was trying to write this without her finished work, and was struggling with that. Plus, writing romance is very tough stuff and Chapter 9 was going to be both romance and the Battle of Dxun at the same time.