View Full Version : What should I do?
01-12-2002, 06:24 AM
OK- this might sound kinda complecated, but I'll try to make it as easy as possible to understand.
I have friends C and R and I was just talking to friend C and she told me something about R's bf T which a kinda friend I know from highschool G told C about R's bf (I hope all this makes sense) Anyway, C told me that apperantly G knows one of R's bf's friends and this friend told G that R's bf has another gf in America. What should I do? C told me not to tell R, but R is my best friend. I don't know if it's true or not, and neither does C, but should I tell R even though I have no proof and maybe break them up in the process, or not say anything and then if she happens to find out, probably have a huge fight with her if she finds out that me and C both knew about it even if we both aren't sure if this story is true or not. Or should I not worry coz it's none of my business anyway?
BTW- G doesn't even know him, but she knows one of his friends and she has never met him.
01-12-2002, 07:11 AM
If I were you, I would tell R. If she values you as a friend so much, she would understand that you are telling her for the best, not to break them up.
ABCDEFG....... thats about all i know...
01-12-2002, 07:55 AM
I guess- but she cares about this guy so much and she loves him dearly, admittedly she's been moping about and pining for him since he went back to India to visit his family, and she's so happy at the thought of him coming home- either way it's a lose/lose situation, she'll either get mad at me and think I'm trying to break them up, or she'll get mad at me if it's true and she knows I already knew. I guess without proof I can't do anything. Still I feel bad, I guess from now on I'll be watching him weary.\
NiKo knows his ABC's :p
Originally posted by Natty
NiKo knows his ABC's :p
next time wont you sing with me?
01-12-2002, 09:03 AM
01-12-2002, 12:29 PM
I have been in a situation really similar to this myself. I found out via a friend of a friend of a friend that this bloke was cheating on a friend of mine. It was really dodgy as well, cos although I have never spoke to the bloke doing the cheating, he works in my division and holds quite a senior post. However, my friend has been hurt in relationships in the past, and I knew that she would want to know if she was being cheated on as she had actually specifically said so in a conversation. So, I decided to tell her, though I did say that what I had heard was third hand information, and she may want to check it out before she makes any accusations cos it might just be gossip. It turned out that he was cheating, and although she was obviously deeply upset, she said I had done the right thing and she thanked me for telling her.
At the end of the day Natty, you know your friend best. Is she the sort of person who would sooner be ignorant of what is going on or would she rather know. If you think she would rather know tell her, but say that what you heard is not from the horses mouth, and that she may to to find out for definite if it is true or not. At the end of the day, the longer the relationship goes on, the more she may fall in love with him, and therefore the pain will be worse when she finds out about the cheating. My logic was, what if a year down the line she got pregnant or something and THEN found out she was being cheated on. That would be ten times worse than finding out now.
Good luck sorting this out!! I know what it's like, it seems there are no winners and no right things to do in these situations.
01-12-2002, 06:43 PM
Your right Helen- I mean this is 3rd hand information, and she did similar for me once, I owe it to her, since she has done similar for me in the past (although my bf wasn't cheating, he was on one of those blind date thingies you get on the radio- it turned out he did it as a joke, still I remember she called me and told me blah blah blah blah then I rang up my bf told him I heard him on the radio and accused me of cheating on me- luckilly we sorted it out) I was thinking of asking her bf personally about it, I mean we both get on ok, sorta just say that I had heard a rumor about him and that he's cheating on my friend and I just wanna know if it's true or not, if it's not true that's fine, I apologize, but if it is true, either he comes clean or I spill to her. Also make sure he knows I'm not accusing him of anything- coz I'm not, I just wanna know the truth. I mean if it is true, apperantly this girl is in America- so I assume it's a whole 'net thing' but regardless of whether it's physical or not, I still consider it cheating in a way... I guess I have to decide how to tell her, I mean it's not like I can just walk up to her and say 'Oh by the way I think your bf might be cheating on you with some girl in America' *sigh* I hate situations like this :(
01-12-2002, 08:30 PM
I would do something men can do but not women Ė keep it for myself.
This is gossip in third or fourth hand and is worth nothing. If it had been your nearest friends bf who was playing around and you know it by having been there yourself then it is up to you if you should tell her. In this case you donít know if itís true and thatís why you should keep your mouth shut and neither tell her nor spread the gossip. But for women that is not possible when they have goodies like this to talk about!
01-12-2002, 09:43 PM
It's not like I'm gossiping, I just don't know if I should tell her, afterall it's 3rd hand info so it most likely isn't true, but if it is true she has a right to know *siiiiiigh* aaaaaaargh :mad:
01-12-2002, 11:28 PM
I were once installing an equipment at a university in Finland. Such an installation takes about 10 days.
When I came back to the office in Gothenburg - Sweden, the girls seemed to look at me in a funny way and one of them gave the remark: ďHad a good time in Copenhagen?Ē (Copenhagen is in Denmark.) I didnít understand what she meant and I didnít ask her.
My boss told me he wanted to have a serious talk with me. He explained that I had to stay at a customers place until the job is finished and not leave and take days off. I asked him what he meant and he said that I had been seen at the amusment park Tivoli in Copenhagen. I had also been seen at Stroget, the large shopping street. Of course I denied this and asked him who had told him such a story. He said that all the girls are talking about it but he didnít know who actually had seen me there. I managed to convince him that I had not flewn from Finland to Denmark in order to go to an amusment park!
I asked later one of the girls how it all started and she said that one of girls in the Copenhagen office had seen someone in a distance that looked very much like me. After that the girls build up a hen from a feather and I had been at the Tivoli and been shopping i Denmark instead of working in Finland.
A male colleague had tried in vain to have the girls to understand how silly the story was but of course they preferred to hold on to the gossip. :D
01-12-2002, 11:32 PM
if its third hand, just dont let it slide...but if its a fact (or if somebody tells R) just break it to her (again)
...cause i know friends..... "OMG, you knew about this and you didn't tell me????"
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